


Small Worlds

by roryteller



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, redemption arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:30:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 110,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6727744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roryteller/pseuds/roryteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months before Kara becomes Supergirl, Astra and Non split ways. Alex runs into Astra completely by chance at a local gay bar, and takes her home without realizing who she is. Unfortunately for Alex, things just get more complicated from there, as both Alex and Astra's loyalties are tested and they have to figure out if what they have runs deeper than lust...</p><p>Or: that fic where Alex and Astra find each other in the most awkward way possible, Astra joins the DEO early on but Alex isn't sure she can trust her, and under the circumstances they're not sure they can risk a relationship, in spite of their mutual attraction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chance Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to tumblr user yokothetypo for the title, for helping me brainstorm and cheering me on since day 1, to JosieCat (on AO3) for betaing and to the entire Evil Taylor Swing Squad on Skype for their encouragement. I couldn't take on such an ambitious project without your help!

Alex wasn't particularly looking for a hookup that night when she decided to go to a gay bar downtown (the Royal Gryphon, all new brick pretending to be old and rainbow flags) instead of the sports bar closest to her apartment. In fact, at the tail end of a long day analyzing samples at her DEO lab, she was just hoping to be left alone, and at a gay bar she'd only have to turn away the occasional woman, if she even got that much attention.

She was halfway through her first beer, just barely starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, when a movement near the door caught her attention.

Part of her training at the DEO had been in situational awareness, and it would take more than one beer to prevent her from noticing each newcomer, but most merited little more than a glance before she returned to her thoughts. This one, though... she was a tall woman, clad all in black, wavy brown hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. Her expression looked lost, confused, but she had the bearing of a soldier. Alex would know--she'd seen enough of them come and go over the last couple of years. She was intriguing, striking even.

The woman looked around the room and after a moment her eyes zeroed in on Alex. Time seemed to slow down for an instant as the woman inspected her.

_Is she checking me out, or assessing me as a threat?_ Either way, Alex took a fortifying sip of her beer and gave the woman a little nod to show that she'd noticed her attention. There was no reason for Alex to think she was in danger, but part of her, the part that had grown through months of constant training and over a year of field experience, wished that she had her sidearm. Or even a knife.

Instead of heading over to the bar to order a drink, the newcomer strode straight to Alex's table and sat down in the free chair, her gray eyes hard on Alex's face. Alex stared right back, noticing the streak of white in her hair, almost hidden due to her hairstyle, which she'd overlooked before.

"Why were you watching me?" asked the woman without preamble, just loudly enough for Alex to hear her over the music. There was something odd about her speech, odd yet familiar, but Alex couldn't place it from such a short interaction.

"I notice people," said Alex, willing to be honest as long as she didn't reveal too much. "And you stick out."

"I what?"

_She must be a non-native speaker. But from where?_ "You draw attention. It's your bearing. You look like a soldier, or maybe a veteran. But you also look lost. New in town?"

"Not precisely, though I have never visited this establishment before." She didn't answer Alex's implicit question, but she leaned back in her chair, seeming to relax just a little.

It wasn't the woman's pronunciation that was odd, but rather the rhythm and intonations of her speech, Alex realized. She still had the sense of having heard that particular pattern somewhere before, but where, exactly, eluded her. The woman's first language wasn't Russian, that was for sure, or French or German or Spanish—she was familiar enough with all of those languages that she was fairly confident she would already have recognized the accent. But this puzzle of a woman was keeping her mind off of other, more unpleasant thoughts, so Alex decided she wouldn't mind her sticking around.

"Maybe we should start over. My name's Alex, and I wouldn't mind your company, especially not if you're willing to tell me your name."

"Astra," said the woman, and damn it, Alex really should know what that slight hint of an accent was! But then Astra took off her jacket, a lightweight zippered thing, and hung it over the back of her chair, and Alex found another reason to want her to stick around.

She'd immediately realized that Astra was good-looking, of course, and the white streak and clear gray eyes didn't hurt one bit, but under her jacket she was wearing a dark gray tank top, leaving her arms and shoulders bare. Her _very_ nicely muscled arms and shoulders.

Alex tore her eyes away, but not before Astra caught her looking. She smirked at Alex and stood, pushing back her chair. "Wait here."

Alex watched Astra as she moved, taking a moment to appreciate the curve of her butt. Astra walked over to the bar and ordered, and after a moment returned with something dark and fizzy.

"Rum and coke?" guessed Alex.

"Just coke. I do not drink much." Astra paused. "Anymore."

_Recovering alcoholic, maybe?_ "I try not to drink as much as I used to, either," offered Alex. "Not that I always succeed."

"Do you come here often?"

Alex almost groaned at the transparent line, but it seemed guileless coming from Astra, though she was sure the woman was capable of deception when she needed to be.

"Not that often," she said. "Just when I want to drink without some jerk bothering me."

"I can leave you alone, if you prefer," said Astra, shifting in her chair and setting her hand on the table as if to stand.

Alex shook her head. "You're not 'some jerk'. You're an intriguing woman. Stay. If you want."

"I do." Astra took a sip of her coke.

"So, you said it was your first visit to the Royal Gryphon. What brings you here?"

"I suppose I was curious. What about you?"

_Curious? Based on her reaction earlier, I kind of doubt she's straight, but..._ "I had a bit of a rough day. Didn't want to really deal with people, but didn't want to be completely alone, either." Alex hesitated to drink alone, ever since a few bad benders in college, worrying that she'd go overboard again. "And then you showed up and..."

Astra flinched as the music changed, cranking up a few decibels, heralding the opening of the dance floor. Alex automatically laid her hand over Astra's on the table, a comforting gesture she often used when noise got to be too much for Kara.

But Astra's eyes widened and she jerked away.

"Sorry, sorry. Old habits. I... my sister has trouble with loud places, too. Uh, we could move upstairs. It's less noisy there, usually."

Astra nodded, with a grimace, and Alex lead the way upstairs. There was a small table still free, right against the back wall.

Once they were sitting, Astra seemed to relax a little, the grimace fading, though she still fidgeted a little.

"Sometimes, it helps to focus on something. A sound, like this." said Alex, drumming a beat against the side of her mostly-empty glass. "Or... anything."

"I know," said Astra, "but this is a _lot_ of noise. How do you stand it?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm good at tuning stuff out when I have to, I guess. Especially a couple of drinks in."

Astra's eyes fixed on Alex's fingers for a moment as she continued to tap against the glass, and after a bit the tension in her shoulders seemed to drop.

"Better?" asked Alex, and stopped her tapping.

Astra nodded. "You said you had a sister?"

Always cautious, Alex chose her words carefully. Later, though, she would wonder how the night would have gone if she had mentioned Kara by name. "She's about a year younger than me. We get along pretty well. What about you? Any family?"

A shadow passed over Astra's face. "I _had_ one. I would rather not talk about it."

_Sore subject? Dead, or estranged?_ "That's okay, I can respect that. It's not like I'm looking to spill my whole life to you, either. Just trying to make conversation."

"Somehow, I thought you were not here for conversation."

"No," said Alex. "I'm here for booze. But I'll take conversation, if that's what you're willing to give me." She hadn't been looking for company when she came here, but that didn't mean she had to turn it away.

"What if I want something else?"

"Like what, for example?" Alex drained the last of her beer and set down the glass with a little thud, leaning in towards Astra. If Astra wasn't suggesting what she thought, it was no big, she'd go down and have another beer. But if she was...

It felt like slow-motion as Astra reached out one hand and traced a fingertip under the edge of Alex's jaw. Alex felt her breath catch in her throat and saw Astra smile, her eyes holding Alex's gaze, and suddenly Alex's world narrowed to three point of focus: the touch of Astra's fingers on her chin, the quirk of that smile, and those eyes, which seemed to promise so much.

_Damn._

But before Alex had time to think of anything else, those lips were on hers and she was gasping into them as Astra's hand slid to the back of her head. She tasted of cola and smelled of something Alex couldn't quite place, something pleasant and warm. Sunshine, maybe.

_Am I really getting sappy over a woman I just met in a bar?_

Alex pushed the thought aside as she moved one hand to stroke Astra's hair, and suddenly it felt like there was too much space between them, the table an obstacle. Astra seemed to feel the same way, trying to pull Alex closer. The woman was practically on the table, and Alex wondered how she kept her balance.

Alex pulled away. "How about we get away from this damn table and dance."

Astra's brows drew together. "Dance? I know how, of course, but..."

"You're really not from around here, are you? I'm not asking you to waltz, I'm giving you an excuse to touch me. To music." Alex couldn't think of where Astra might be from that she wouldn't make that connection. Maybe it was just a language issue?

"Oh. In that case, I accept."

Alex was about to head back downstairs, but then had second thoughts. "Are you okay with the level of noise now? I mean, the dance floor's down there, but..."

"I will be fine, with you to distract me." What was it about that voice that made Alex's blood sing?

"Okay then." Alex lead the way downstairs. As they approached the dance floor, she held out a hand. Somewhat to her surprise, Astra actually took it and let Alex pull her onto the dance floor. When she turned back to see how Astra was doing, she saw her glancing around, as if trying to figure out what she should be doing.

_She really has no idea. God, it's like teaching Kara to act human all over again._ That thought pulled Alex up short. _What if she's an alien? No, there's no way. She was probably just part of a cult or something._

Patiently, Alex positioned herself in front of Astra, guiding Astra's hands to her waist, just along the edge of her leather jacket. Soon, they were dancing, stiffly at first, but then Astra seemed to remember what Alex had said about touching. She kissed the side of Alex's neck, just a little too hard, causing Alex to jerk away.

Astra let go entirely, and Alex grabbed her arm, suddenly afraid she would leave. Astra walked off the dance floor, but Alex maintained her grip, following her.

"Is that not what you meant?" asked Astra. "Did I overstep?"

"It is, but that was too hard."

"Oh. I forget my strength sometimes. I am sorry."

"Listen, would you rather... take this somewhere more private? I know the noise bothers you."

"You mean..."

"Back to my place, yes."

"I..." Astra hesitated for a long moment. "Why not? I have been alone for too long."

"That wasn't necessarily an offer to sleep with you, you know, but for what it's worth, I'm interested."

"You're a strange one," said Astra.

Alex raised her eyebrows at that. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"Uh, yes?"

Alex shook her head. "It's an expression... oh, never mind. Just come with me."

* * *

Astra was mystified again when it came time to pay for the bus, then nervous throughout the ride, eying the other riders suspiciously and jumping at noises. Alex placed her hand over Astra's, more hesitantly than before. Astra's gaze met her eyes, and she gave a little nod.

"It's okay," said Alex in a low voice. "You're safe." She wondered what Astra had been through that made her react that way. Was it just the unfamiliar situation, or the tight quarters, or something else, that reminded her of something she would rather forget? Alex was getting more questions than answers, tonight, but Astra could probably say the same about her.

After a few moments, Astra moved marginally closer to Alex, so that their shoulders were touching, and turned her hand so Alex could clasp it.

* * *

They fell into each others' arms almost as soon as Alex closed the door of her small, spartan, gray-walled apartment behind them, as though they'd both been needing this. Astra kissed Alex against the apartment door and Alex clung to her so that their bodies pressed together. She'd been wanting to do that since their kiss at the bar.

Astra was more careful now, nothing like that dance floor kiss that had probably left a bruise, but Alex wasn't, digging her nails into Astra's back through her jacket as Astra's tongue sent jolts of desire through her. Alex was the one to pull away from the kiss, wrenching off to one side and gasping for air. A few locks of Astra's hair had worked their way loose from her ponytail and hung over her face and she looked wild and a little desperate.

"Do you..." Alex couldn't seem to focus with the blood pounding in her veins like this and Astra half-pressing her into the door, their bodies flush but not where Alex needed her, but she tried again. "Do you like it rough?"

Astra laughed at that, little and low. "Go as hard as you like. I am tough."

Alex laid a hand on Astra's bicep, feeling the hard muscle even through a layer of cloth. "I can tell. I like that in a woman."

Astra smirked and unzipped her jacket, tossing it unceremoniously behind her. "You have no idea how strong I am." But her fingers on Alex's jaw, then tracing a line down her neck, were gentle, soft, and there was no threat in it.

Alex froze for a moment, lost in the trails of heat Astra's fingers were leaving on her skin, then stepped away and pulled off her jacket as well, setting it down on the couch. Underneath, she realized she was just wearing one of her old Cal Bears shirts, because she hadn't been looking for company.

"You don't know much about me, either," said Alex.

"Do I need to?"

"No. Just fuck me."

Astra seemed to move impossibly fast then, and suddenly she was holding Alex again, both arms holding her steady, her mouth on Alex's neck and, mercifully, her leg grinding between Alex's thighs. Alex felt her arms close around the other woman, her fingers digging into her shirt, almost instinctively, as Astra's tongue on her neck sent waves of heat throughout her body. She was sure she was soaked, but she didn't care, reveling in the sensation of melting into Astra's grip. True to her word, Astra seemed immovable, inevitable, like some kind of mountain made flesh, and somehow that made it even better—the feeling that she would be absolutely safe as long as she held onto this unstoppable force of a woman.

Later, knowing, she would analyze that sensation, knowing where that strength came from, and wonder... was it just the surety of Astra's grip that had made her feel safe, or had she, somehow, known? Had she, on some level, been drawn to Astra in part _because_ she was Kryptonian, because of the familiar lilt of her accent or some other signal her conscious mind had refused to acknowledge?

In the moment, though, even the few layers of cloth that separated them were far too many, and Alex summoned what little strength she still possessed to tug at Astra's shirt. She managed to slip one hand underneath, running it over the firm muscles of Astra's back even as Astra's mouth kept working its way down her neck. By the time Astra reached the top of her shirt, Alex's knees were so weak she probably couldn't have stood on her own. And the friction she was getting from Astra's leg was good, but it wasn't quite enough.

Alex groaned as Astra's mouth left her shoulder, and stumbled back against the door as Astra lowered her leg to the ground and loosened her hold on Alex.

"I thought you wanted me to take off my shirt," said Astra.

"Yes," said Alex, panting a little as she leaned against the door, almost wishing she'd drunk more so that she could blame the fuzziness in her head on the alcohol. But no, it was all Astra's doing. It'd been too long... probably for both of them, and already she ached for Astra's touch, even though they had only been apart for a moment.

With unsteady hands, slowly pulling herself together, Alex pulled her own shirt over her head, then balled it up and chucked it in the general direction of the sofa.

Astra snickered as it missed entirely, falling short, onto the floor.

"Shut up, I'm a good shot when I haven't just been making out with someone. And drinking."

Astra pulled off her own tank top and threw it so that it landed neatly on the couch.

"Show-off."

Astra merely raised an eyebrow at that. She kicked off her shoes and sauntered over to Alex, reminding her of nothing more than a haughty feline. Interesting, that—at the bar Alex would have described her more as a wolf. She'd all but bared her teeth when she saw Alex watching her.

Alex came crashing back to the present as Astra hooked a thumb under her waistband and tugged. Taking the hint, Alex unbuttoned her pants with fumbling hands and pulled them down, or tried to, but before she could get far, Astra's hands were on her again, a hand at her waist and the other tracing a line through the wetness that had soaked through her boxer briefs.

"Fuck you," grunted Alex, trying to ignore the way her body sang at Astra's touch as she pushed Astra's hand away and pulled her pants the rest of the way down, removing her shoes as she did. "Make up your goddamn mind." She pulled herself upright, planning to pay Astra back for that, but she'd stripped off her own pants... and bra... and underwear in that brief moment.

Alex let her eyes trail up and down Astra's body. Her initial impression had been correct—she had an athletic build, her legs as well-muscled as her arms and torso, visibly strong but without the heaviness of a bodybuilder. She had few visible scars, in spite of Alex's assumption about her military background, and a fine layer of hair covered her legs, with thicker brown curls on her mound.

Alex unhooked her own bra and left it with the rest of her clothes. But before she could remove her underwear, Astra pulled them down for her, and there was a little rip as one of the seams gave way. Had they really been that old?

Alex pushed the thought aside, cursing her overactive analytical mind, and kissed Astra again, pushing her back towards the couch. Astra stumbled over a shoe and sat back on the arm of the couch, rather hard, jolting them apart.

Alex took advantage of her moment of surprise and climbed on top of her, straddling her, and drew a line with one finger down her belly and between her legs to touch the soft hair there. The lightest little touch (but she could tell Astra felt it, a sigh escaping from her lips) and she pulled her hand away again.

Astra seized her wrist, roughly, then let go when Alex hissed, more in surprise than pain.

"I'm fine," said Alex in response to the unspoken question in Astra's eyes.

"Good," said Astra, and she grabbed Alex by the waist, proving her strength once again as she moved Alex fully onto the couch, then climbed on top herself. The only place they touched was their thighs, but Astra was close enough that Alex could feel the heat coming off her body.

Alex took advantage of the position, moving her hand back between Astra's legs, parting the hairs that covered her slit and running a finger through her wetness. Astra gave a little jolt and it was enough for Alex to cover one of Astra's nipples with her mouth, licking the salt from her skin.

Astra trembled, holding herself off of the couch with both arms, as Alex slowly stroked her inner lips. Deliberately, she brushed against Astra's clit and Astra nearly collapsed on top of her, only to groan as Alex pulled her finger away.

Astra muttered something incoherent, her face almost in Alex's hair, and Alex pulled her mouth away from Astra's breast for a moment. "What's that?"

"Harder."

"Hmm, can you ask nicely?" Alex grinned at Astra's moan of frustration.

"I need it. Please. Alex." The guttural way she said it, combined with that slight, familiar-yet-unfamiliar accent, sent tingles throughout Alex's body. She knew that when it was finally her turn, she'd be more than ready, could feel the damp heat between her legs, the pulsing energy that seemed to join them.

"That's better." Roughly now, Alex plunged two fingers into Astra, and moved her free hand to the small of Astra's back, digging in with her fingernails. She moved her mouth to the other breast, licking and sucking a little harder than before.

Alex closed her eyes, relying only on touch and the sound of the little gasps and moans Astra let out, hardly words now, aside from gasps of "More!" and "Alex!", Astra's voice breaking on the second syllable as though she couldn't keep it together that long, and soon Astra was sagging against her and pulsing around her fingers.

She went stiff as she came, pulling up off of Alex again, leaving Alex's mouth empty, wanting. Alex opened her eyes again and looked up at Astra, seeing her head thrown back, little traces of sweat running down her body, beautiful and wild and carnal all at once.

And then she collapsed, half on top of Alex, panting into her hair, and Alex pulled her fingers free at last, laughing a little at this transformation. "Not so strong now, are you?"

Astra pushed herself up off of Alex again. She looked annoyed, and for a moment Alex thought she might have gone too far with her jokes, but after a moment Astra shook her head.

"It has been too long, I suppose," she admitted.

"Me too," said Alex, meeting Astra's eyes and surprised to find herself feeling open, a bit vulnerable. This was supposed to be about sex, two people finding comfort in their mutual pleasure, not about an emotional connection, but she supposed she'd screwed that up by being all considerate, earlier. Then again, what did she really know about Astra? Not much... not her country of origin, not even her full name. That was probably part of the appeal. No, scratch that—Alex was a scientist and a secret agent; her brain needed something to pick at. That was _definitely_ part of the appeal. She doubted she'd get many answers if she asked, and it was more fun picking things apart anyway.

Later, she'd realize how foolish that was. Later still, they'd laugh about it, about the weird confluence of circumstances, of needs and personalities, that had lead them to meet.

But in the moment, she was blissfully ignorant, seeing only the woman before her, soft skin and steely muscles that jumped under her touch, and the mystery she represented.

A different kind of adventure from her secretive day-to-day life, or so she thought.

Pushing away her thoughts, Alex surged forward and kissed Astra, hard so there could be no hint of tenderness, of romance. Astra answered in kind, pushing her back into the couch again, her hands tracing idle lines across Alex's chest and belly. Once again, Alex's world shrank—Astra's lips, Astra's tongue, her fingertips, the press of her thighs against Alex's, the fistful of soft hair that Alex had grabbed without really thinking about it. A heat rose in her belly, her chest, her throat and seemed to engulf her.

And then, there was a thigh between her legs again, bare this time, offering (at last!) the pressure she'd been craving, and she felt herself slick and hot against it, the fire in her core all-consuming now even as Astra continued to kiss her and her hands still traced teasing lines across Alex's body.

At last Astra's mouth left hers, and she groaned as Astra moved on to her throat, licking and kissing but not biting or sucking, as though careful of hurting her.

"Astra..." she moaned.

Astra's mouth kept on moving down her body, and her leg pulled away as Astra knelt between Alex's knees.

_Oh yeah... wait, if she's going down on me we should..._ "Wait!" she said aloud.

Astra looked up at her, her brow furrowed.

"We need protection first." Alex struggled up off of the couch, her legs not wanting to obey her.

"Protection?"

_I guess if they even had sex ed wherever it is she grew up, it wasn't very comprehensive._ "Yeah, a dental dam. Well, I don't actually have one, but I can make one..." Alex strode into the bathroom, quickly washed her hands, then rooted around in the cabinet under the sink. _Condom, check. Oh wait, no, this packet's expired..._ She threw it out and reached for another. _Okay, good_ . She retrieved the scissors from the first aid kit, and took them back to the living room with her and sat back down, her butt on the edge of the sofa. _Fuck, I'm going to have to wash these cushions later. Oh well, it was worth it._

Before Astra's bemused eyes, she opened the packet and unrolled the condom, neatly snipping off both ends, then cutting down the middle so that it unrolled into a single sheet.

"There. Now, you hold this over my junk, like so, and voilà!"

"I see," said Astra, taking the piece of latex. "Now, may I continue?"

"You'd better," said Alex as Astra applied the dam, holding it firmly in place with her fingers. "Oh!"

Astra's tongue was on her already, hot even through the latex. Alex buried her fingers in Astra's thick hair, able to do little more than hang on as the movements of Astra's tongue sent waves of renewed heat through her body.

_Damn, even her tongue is strong_ , thought Alex as the tip of it pushed into her. Astra's tongue, at first hesitant, had somehow found exactly the right degree of pressure. Alex threw her head back, already building towards an orgasm.

Just then, Astra slowed down. "Ast...ra." It was a plea, one that Astra didn't heed. Alex dug her fingers even more into Astra's hair, scratching at her scalp, but she didn't react to that either, continuing her agonizingly slow movements.

"Come on..." Astra had her teetering on the edge, pushing and pulling, bobbing on a wave that refused to crash. She was burning up, but it wasn't enough, never enough, and, and, and...

And her words were gone, washed away in the little waves that lapped away at her, stronger and stronger now, and at last, at last she was crashing, tipping over the edge, clinging to Astra for dear life, crying something that might have been her name...

At last she resurfaced, reopened her eyes and pulled her hands from Astra's hair. Astra looked up at her with what could only be described as a self-satisfied smirk.

"Better?"

Alex could only nod mutely as her words came back in bits and pieces, mostly adjectives— _beautiful_ and _happy_ and _limp_ and _warm_ and _devilish_ , then nouns — _curls_ and _tongue_ and _fingers_ and _muscles_ , as though she were still trying to resolve this woman, this night, this experience into something that fit within the extraordinary, yet repetitive, routine of her life—sleep, eat, coffee, DEO, repeat, interspersed with movie night and Kara and calls home. The occasional night out, yes, a little work on the side, sometimes, on projects that had nothing to do with the alien tech and alien biology that had become her day-to-day, but basically? It was all the same, except those exceptional days when everything exploded around her—missions gone wrong, or fantastically right, which meant new prisoners, sometimes, or new research, new discoveries. New scars, new secrets.

But this night? She'd remember it, even if she never knew more about Astra.

After a while, speech returned to her. By then, Astra had stood and was stretching, languid.

"I'm going to take a shower. You can join me, but don't expect a repeat performance just yet."

"Pity," said Astra, with a little laugh that sent a pulse of heat through Alex once more. "I could go again."


	2. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra and Alex takes a shower, which leads exactly where Alex didn’t want it to-to a deeper connection. Later, a revelation (I think you can guess which one) turns everything upside-down for our unfortunate lovebirds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your support, and special thanks to JosieCat (AO3) and yokothetypo (tumblr) for their advice.

Alex's bathroom matched the rest of the apartment, a bit dated but well maintained. The tile in the shower, in particular, was a somewhat offensive shade of avocado, but at least the rest of the room was more neutral—white toilet and walls, grayish linoleum floor, off-white cabinet. There were no decorations to speak of, unless you counted the somewhat misshapen mug Kara had made in her high school pottery class, which Alex was using to hold her toothbrush and toothpaste. A single, navy blue bath towel hung on the back of the door.

Astra's eyes flicked around the room, taking this all in. "You don't decorate much, do you?"

"I don't spend much time here. Work keeps me pretty busy," said Alex. "Hold on, I think I have a spare towel." She left Astra in the bathroom and retrieved it from her room. "It's a beach towel, actually, so I hope that's okay." Alex didn't mention that it was covered with pictures of a certain blue, furry cartoon character, because that was obvious.

Standing around naked was getting a little chilly, so Alex quickly hung up the towel and stepped into the shower, turning on the water. As Astra joined her, she noticed a problem with the plan—her shower wasn't particularly large. It was going to be a problem to wash without bumping into each other. Not that she expected that would bother Astra much, though for the moment she was keeping her hands to herself.

Alex set to washing immediately. Why had she asked Astra to join her? She could have just let her shower later.

Casting a glance over her shoulder, she remembered why. Even though she wasn't sure she wanted to go again this soon, there was no way she was passing up on such a good excuse to be close to her, naked no less.

"Would you pass the, uh..." Astra pointed in the general direction of Alex's shampoo.

"Shampoo. Sure." Alex handed it to Astra.

"Thanks."

So far, they had managed, for the most part, to avoid touching each other, but Alex thought—or imagined, maybe—that she could feel Astra's gaze on her, molten. Before long the image was too much and Alex had to turn around, only to see Astra, her hair dripping, holding out the shampoo bottle with a blank, innocent expression.

Alex took it, frowning at her, and quickly washed her hair, as though she were in the DEO locker room after a mission or training and not in her own apartment with a mysterious and ridiculously good-looking woman.

When Astra leaned around her to get the soap, her breasts brushing against Alex's back, just a little, it was definitely deliberate, and Alex definitely needed her again. Already.

"Astra..." she groaned.

Astra chuckled. It was low and sexy and maybe a little bit mean.

Alex filed that away with what she knew about Astra, right next to the fact that she was making just as much of an effort to avoid talking about herself as Alex was. Guarded, sexy, a little bit mean. Hurt—by the things she'd seen as a soldier, or something in her personal life? She had refused to talk about her family. Ignorant and probably foreign, hitting the local culture at right angles. Square peg, round hole, a problem most likely exacerbated by her personality.

Alex lathered up again, facing Astra this time, and got shampoo in her eyes as she watched Astra wash her body. Alex shut her eyes with a grimace and waited for the stinging to subside.

"Are you okay?" asked Astra.

"Soap in my eyes," said Alex. She could feel Astra's hand on her shoulder. It gave a little squeeze, then let go. Eventually her eyes stopped hurting and she opened them to find Astra watching her with some concern.

"You are so fragile," said Astra.

Alex frowned at that. "What, and you're not?"

"I never said that." But Astra ran a finger along Alex's neck and under her chin, her touch feather-light as though she were afraid of breaking her.

Alex swallowed.

"I gave you a bruise, here," said Astra, brushing at a spot on Alex's neck.

Reflexively, Alex moved her hand to cover it. Then, noticing that neither of them were washing anymore, she shut off the water. "I don't mind." _Though I might want to cover it for the next few days so I don't get too many awkward questions._

For a moment they just stood there, unspoken possibilities filling the air.

Then Astra stepped out of the shower and took Alex's beach towel. She snorted when she saw the little blue alien printed on it.

"Hey, don't make fun of me. I've had that thing for over a decade." Alex grabbed her own towel. "There's a hairdryer in the cabinet, if you want."

She wrapped the towel around herself and stepped back into the living room.

The place was a mess, especially the couch and around the door. She grabbed her own dirty clothes and took them to her room, tossing them in the hamper before finding a clean pair of briefs and tugging them on. She put on a t-shirt as well and stepped back into the living room.

Astra was still in the bathroom, so she got herself a mug full of tapwater and sat on the sofa to drink it while she waited. It was probably a good thing she'd run into Astra when she had... Alex couldn't think of a better distraction after her long day, and she'd probably be very drunk by now otherwise. Still, she wouldn't mind another drink. She eyed the cupboard where she kept her scotch, and might have poured herself some if Astra hadn't distracted her.

She emerged from the bathroom looking like some old painting of the birth of Venus ( _thank you, gen ed courses_ ), buck naked, with waves of nearly-dry hair flowing over her shoulders.

"I was meaning to say... you can crash here tonight, if you want," said Alex, partly as a way to distract herself from the view.

"Crash?" Astra looked alarmed.

"Uh, stay the night, I mean."

"Oh. I see." She paused, just long enough that Alex was almost sure she would refuse, then nodded. "I accept."

With that, she gathered up her clothing and stacked it neatly on the arm of the couch.

"Anyone ever tell you you're beautiful?" Alex hadn't really meant to say it, but it slipped out, just like that.

"It... has been some time," said Astra. "But yes. You are, too."

_Not as much as you_ , Alex wanted to say. "Thank you."

"I mean it, though your current attire does you no favors."

"Well, excuse me for not being a fan of sexy lingerie. Wearing it, that is." She owned some fancy underwear, mainly for undercover gigs, but left to her own devices she valued comfort over everything else. And given what she'd been wearing when they met, she hadn't thought Astra would care.

"I do not mean it as an insult... just that I would have liked to see you naked longer."

"Well... I think that could be arranged." Alex set down her mug and went to take off her shirt, but Astra stepped towards her and placed her hand on Alex's forearm, just over her scar.

"You have a lot of scars."

"And you don't. Not on the outside, anyway." Damnit, they were doing it again, connecting, filling the air with unspoken understandings. At this rate Alex was going to get attached, and she didn't have room in her life for a relationship... if Astra even wanted one.

"Trade you," suggested Alex, on a whim, though it was exactly what she had been trying to avoid.

"What?"

"A scar for a scar. I'll tell you about one of these," she said, running her finger along the white line that ran down the back of her forearm, "and you tell me about one of those." She placed her hand flat against Astra's chest, where she could just barely feel her heartbeat.

"Okay," said Astra after a moment. "But you start."

Then, to Alex's simultaneous disappointment and relief, she put her underwear back on, followed by her tank top. Relief, because this conversation was dangerous enough clothed, let alone naked.

_Something small, to start with, then._ She showed Astra a tiny, round scar on the back of her right hand. "This is a chemical burn I got back in undergrad. I wasn't paying attention in the lab and spilled one of the reagents on myself." 

"I hardly think that a fair trade,” said Astra.

"Fine, if that's not worth one of yours, I'll tell you another. This is the one you wanted to know about, right?" She held up her arm.

"Among others."

"I followed my sister into a dangerous situation. I was trying to protect her, but I was the one who got hurt, and she blamed herself. She's made a lot of decisions based on that one moment, and while I'm glad she decided not to put herself in danger anymore, I worry that she's not happy with the life she's chosen." Alex sighed. "Your turn."

"Okay. Fair is fair." Astra considered for a moment. "Years ago, I had a mission... a vitally important one. I failed, and people died. People I cared about. Now I am afraid that I have failed again."

"Oh, Astra..." Alex reached out and took her hand. "I'm sorry."

Astra didn't shy away this time, but squeezed her hand back.

"I shouldn't have asked," said Alex. "I wanted tonight to be fun, and simple, and uncomplicated."

"It was fun," said Astra. "But I think that we are both complicated people. And I am afraid I am not, what's the expression? In the mood, anymore."

"Well, we could just... go to bed, if you like. Um, you can sleep out here if you prefer, but if you want the company you're welcome to join me."

In the end, Astra did join her, and there was a bit of jostling around before they settled down, Astra pressed into Alex's back and tracing lines down her arm. It was soothing, somehow, and gradually Alex let herself drift off to sleep.

* * *

It had been a while since Alex had slept like this, someone else's arm wrapped around her, their body pressed against her back. She hadn't expected to enjoy it this much, but there was something comforting about Astra, warm and solid.

Alex was dozing when Astra shifted against her back

<Move over,> she grumbled.

Sleepy, Alex didn't want to. <You move.> she replied. _So that's her native language. I knew it was something I spoke._

And then she sat bolt upright in bed, staring down at Astra in sudden realization. <You're Kryptonian?!?>

Astra's eyes flew open and she stared at Alex in equal shock. <You speak Kryptonese?!?>

_Is she a Fort Rozz escapee? Is she dangerous? I doubt picking up strangers at the Royal Gryphon is part of some evil plot, but will she kill to protect her secret? And I'll have to explain speaking Kryptonese somehow, without telling her about the DEO or Kara..._

Alex scrambled out of bed, turned on the lights, and grabbed her cell phone off of her nightstand. She could call the DEO in seconds, but it would take them several minutes or more to get to her, and by then she could be dead, Astra long gone... she could call Kara, but Kara was raw, untrained, and against this soldier she would probably lose... and even if she didn't she ran the risk of revealing herself as an alien to the world, including Astra's allies, if any. Alex had weapons on hand, a gun and a few knives, but no kryptonite ammo. No, her best option was to talk her way out of this situation somehow, diffuse it without alerting either Kara or the DEO. Still, she kept her phone in her hand, just in case.

Astra had stood as well, and looked almost harmless with her hair all mussed, wearing nothing more than her tank top and briefs. But she was assessing Alex, just as Alex was assessing her, probably trying to recognize her. <Are you even Kryptonian?>

It was pointless to lie about that—Astra could easily test it by throwing her through a wall or something equally unpleasant. So Alex switched back to English. "No. I'm human. After Superman arrived on Earth, my parents studied some of the artifacts that came with him. When I was old enough to understand, I learned some of the language. Are _you_ Kryptonian?" 

But Astra ignored her question, staring past Alex at something, her eyes wide. Alex turned to see that it was a childhood photo, taken that first summer that Kara had arrived on Earth, the two of them smiling into the camera, a rare moment of happiness in that summer of mourning and resentment (Kara mourning, Alex resentful).

<You're lying,> said Astra, an expression of immense hope and pain on her face, and Alex knew, she just _knew_ that Astra had known Kara on Krypton. 

And maybe this was the end of everything Alex had worked for over the last couple of years, maybe this would cost her and Kara everything, but maybe it was the start of something new. Maybe Alex was about to witness a small miracle, family or friends finding each other again. God knew she'd give almost anything to see her father again.

<How do you know Kara?> demanded Astra, closing the distance in an instant and seizing the photo off of Alex's dresser. When Alex didn't respond, she repeated the question, her tone threatening, using her height for intimidation, not that she needed to—Alex was fully aware of her powers. <What is your relationship with Kara Zor-El?>

Alex bit back her reflexive, protective response—'she's my sister'—and took a steadying breath. "I will tell you, if you tell me why you want to know, and if you _swear_ , on Rao or on your life or whatever else you hold dear that you will _not_ hurt her." Alex put all the anger, all the ice she had in her, all the years she'd spent taking care of Kara into those words. "If not, you'll _never_ get anything out of me. I'll die first." 

Astra stared into her eyes for a moment, still holding the picture frame, one finger hovering over the glass as though to trace the curves of Kara's face, then nodded and set it down. Was that fleeting expression one of respect?

"You would die for her. That is brave, but foolish and unnecessary." Astra stepped back a little, and Alex tried not to let her relief show. "I want to know because she is _family_. My full name is Astra In-Ze. Kara is my niece. My sister's daughter. We do not swear by Rao, but I gladly swear on my life that I do not intend to hurt her."

_I slept with my sister's aunt. My sister's drop-dead gorgeous, not to mention deadly, Kryptonian aunt._ "Thank you," Alex managed, but she was sure it came out funny. A bit choked. "That makes this a bit awkward, because Kara is my sister." 

Astra made a little choking noise that perfectly echoed how Alex felt. What were the odds of meeting like this? Incredibly slim, and yet, here they were.

Astra searched Alex's face with her eyes. "Your sister? But you are human, you said. Your family..."

"Fostered her, yes. Now... it's very late at night, and I'm exhausted, but we need to decide where to go from here. Or rather, _I_ need to decide, because I'm the one who knows how to contact her. You want to see her, I imagine." 

"Of course! But she is alive, and that is more than I knew before."

"You thought she didn't make it here?"

"I feared that to be the case. Will you set up a meeting? Please?" There was something defeated about the way she said it, and Alex found herself wondering what Astra had been through, getting here.

"I..." Part of Alex really wanted to, but also she didn't want to take any chances. And that meant confirming that what Astra claimed was true. It also mean getting kryptonite weaponry from the DEO, if possible without alerting anyone, because according to protocol she should already have called this in... but what if Astra really was a Fort Rozz escapee? They would probably just lock her up, even if she wasn't dangerous. And why did Alex think she wasn't dangerous, exactly? Besides the fact that they'd just had sex and she'd gotten out of it with no more than a hickey or two?

It was because she was Kara's sister, she decided, and she wanted Kara to be happy.

"Look," she said at last, "I don't fully trust you. I need to at least confirm that what you've said about your relationship with Kara is true, and that she actually wants to see you. So I'm going to ask her. She might not reply for a while, but you're still welcome to stay until I leave in the morning."

"That is... unexpectedly generous. Thank you." After a moment, she added, "I can... prove that I am Kryptonian, at least."

With that, Astra let herself float about a foot off of the floor.

"Don't thank me yet," muttered Alex, unlocking her phone. "I can't make any promises about her reaction."

Alex: This is going to sound crazy, but I met someone who claims to know you.  
Alex: From way back when.  
Alex: She's proven that she's not from around here. She says she's your aunt, Astra.

Alex looked up from her texting to find Astra watching her. "I want to send her a photo. Do you want to fix your hair before I do? Maybe put on your jacket?"

Astra nodded, then vanished in a blur, reappearing moments later fully clothed, looking much more put-together. Clearly, Astra hadn't been living with humans who required her to suppress her powers, if she had the habit of using them casually like this.

"Hmm, maybe in the living room? I don't think I want her jumping to the obvious conclusion if she sees you on my bed, even if it is true."

Astra's eyes widened at that, and she lead the way into the living room.

"Although, she might still jump to that conclusion when she sees I sent her these messages after midnight... oh, well." Alex snapped a shot of Astra in front of the window that lead out onto the fire escape and showed it to Astra before sending it off. It wasn't a good shot, not in that lighting with a mediocre cell phone camera, but it looked like her, at least. Kara would recognize her, unless she had changed significantly. "Do you have a phone number?"

"No. I have not needed one until now."

"Well, I'll give you my number, and if Kara doesn't get back to me before you leave, you can call me later to find out what she said."

"Why are you doing this?" asked Astra as Alex scribbled down her number on a scrap of paper. "You have no reason to trust me."

"You're right, I don't. But you didn't see what it was like for her, after she lost her world. You don't see how she still seems a little lost sometimes, even now. I would do _anything_ to keep her safe, yes, but I would also do anything to make her happy." 

"She's not?" Astra frowned as she accepted the piece of paper. She scanned the number and folded it, slipping it into her pocket.

"She's happy most of the time, I think. She has a job and friends and a foster family. But she still misses her home and sometimes I don't think she knows what to do with herself. After all, she wasn't able to carry out her mission."

"Her mission?"

"Protecting her cousin. Kal-El. By the time she got here he was grown up."

Astra's eyes widened again. "That explains why I was unable to find her. I was looking for a grown woman, but when I arrived she must still have been a child."

That timeline would make sense, if she was in fact a Fort Rozz escapee. _Damn it_ . Suddenly Alex was just too tired to deal. "This is fascinating, but I really do need to sleep. You can sleep out here or come back to the bedroom with me, if that isn't too weird for you now." 

Alex kind of wanted Astra to follow her back to the bedroom, climb back in bed with her and wrap an arm around her again, even though it would be weird doing that sort of thing with Kara's alien aunt and she couldn't quite trust Astra now, because she'd been missing that kind of intimacy, even if she hadn't realized it before.

But instead, Astra stretched out on the sofa. "It is strange, yes. I will need more time to think about this."

"Suit yourself," said Alex. She gazed down at Astra for a moment, then stepped into her bedroom and retrieved a spare blanket before returning to the living room. "Catch."

Astra caught it in midair, one-handed but clumsily, so that part of the blanket came unfolded and fell across her face. It was kind of cute. Alex banished the thought immediately, reminding herself that Astra was Kara's family and possibly dangerous. "What?"

"I doubt you need the warmth, but in case you like the weight on you when you're sleeping," explained Alex. Back in Midvale, Kara had used a weighted blanket for a while, to stop her from feeling like she was about to float away in Earth's lighter gravity. She said it felt a bit like a hug, but it was so heavy it just felt suffocating to Alex, the one time she'd tried it.

Astra sat up and slowly unfolded the blanket. "...thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Rtarara for kind of predicting one of the events of this chapter in the comments for the last one. I had actually written that bit before posting the first chapter.
> 
> In fact, most of this chapter was already planned, so if you were expecting more smut this soon... sorry. There's a reason I considered tagging this story both 'one-night stand' AND 'slow burn'.


	3. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's best (or possibly worst) -laid plans go awry, and Kara and Astra meet for the first time in years. It’s awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's going up a little earlier than originally planned, because I will be busy most of the weekend. Enjoy!
> 
> Thanks, as always, to all of you readers for your support and especially to JosieCat (AO3) and yokothetypo (tumblr) for going over the chapter before I post it, as well as for fielding my ideas and giving me suggestions.

Alex woke up bright and early (much brighter and earlier than she had wanted to on a Saturday morning) to the sound of her phone ringing. She recognized the ringtone as Kara's and grabbed for her phone with a grumble, still unable to think why Kara would be calling her this early in her half-asleep state.

"Hello?"

"Alex! You found my aunt? How? When? Why was she at your place? Is she still there? Can I talk to her? How is she even still alive? I thought she died on Krypton-"

And it all came flooding back—meeting Astra at the bar, taking her home with her, realizing she was Kryptonian. "Kara, slow down. You woke me up." Alex stood, rubbing her free hand over her face.

"What were you expecting, dropping that kind of bomb on me at 3 AM? How did you find her, anyway?"

"That's, uh, kind of a long story. Can I call you back? After I get dressed and check if Astra's still here?"

"If you don't call back in five minutes, I'll go there in person. I'll fly there if I have to."

The cold shock of that woke Alex right up. "Kara! You can't, someone will see!"

"Alex, she was my favorite aunt, and I've thought she was dead for _eleven years_."

"So you do want to see her." Alex opened her closet and started rooting around.

"Of course I want to see her! But Alex, how long has she been here? Why didn't she look for me?"

 _I'm too sleep-deprived for this shit_. "You'll have to ask her yourself. I'm hanging up, and I'll call you back."

"But-"

"Bye." Alex set down her phone and dressed in the first clean clothes she could find, slipping her phone into a pants pocket before heading back into the living room.

Astra was sitting up on the couch, her hair a poofy halo around her head, with the blanket laying across her lap. At the sound of Alex's footsteps she turned and blinked, a little owlishly, unfocused. "Was that Kara?"

Alex nodded. "I had this whole plan for how this was going to happen, but she threatened to fly over here herself if I don't call back in about... a minute or so, now. I probably shouldn't have sent that photo in the middle of the night."

"If she flies here..." Astra sighed and switched back to Kryptonese, speaking slowly. <She could be in danger. Some of my... former associates bear a grudge against her mother—my sister—and they would not hesitate to take their revenge on her.>

 _Shit._ That pretty much confirmed that Astra was a former prisoner. "Why didn't they take it out on you, then?"

<Because Alura wronged me as well. I don't think Kara knows. But I will stand by my promise not to hurt her.>

"You had better." Alex fished out her phone. "I'm calling her back. Will you talk to her?"

<Of course.>

Kara picked up on the first ring. "Alex? Spill."

 _Oh god, where do I start?_ "Well... I met her last night, actually. I didn't realize who she was, at first. Didn't even notice she was an alien, but I could tell that English wasn't her first language. But then she slipped into Kryptonese, and then she saw your photo, you know, from when we were kids..."

"Wait. You're telling me you just ran into my aunt? Just met her by chance, just like that? And you really expect me to believe that? Neither of you had any idea?"

Alex sighed. "Kara, I don't really care if you believe me. I can hardly believe it myself. The point is, she's still here and she wants to talk to you, but she does _not_ want you to just fly over here, for reasons I will let her explain."

"Okay. But just tell me... where, exactly, did you meet?"

Alex sighed. She had wanted to leave this part out. "The Royal Gryphon."

There was a stunned silence on the other end for several long moments, interrupted by the sound of a dog barking. Did one of Kara's neighbors have a dog?

"Kara?"

"Do you mean to say that you picked up my _aunt_... my _married_ aunt, no less, at a gay bar?"

Alex glared at Astra. "Somehow, the fact that she was married _failed_ to come up."

Astra muttered what might have been "I _was_ married," but Alex ignored it. They'd hash it out later.

"Why do I suddenly believe you? I mean, if you were lying, it would be a lie that didn't imply sleeping with my _aunt_."

"Look, do you want to talk to her or not? You can make fun of me later."

"Umm... actually, I'm kind of right outside your building right now. Buzz me in?"

"What?" Alex covered her phone with one hand. "Astra, she's here!"

"Kara's here?" Astra's eyes widened and she shot upright.

"She's outside the building. If you want to make yourself presentable, now's your chance." Alex strode over to the buzzer and pushed the button, then spoke into the phone. "Are you in?"

"Yup!" And Kara hung up.

After a moment, Alex heard footsteps on the stairs. It sounded like Kara was taking them two or three at a time, like a kid, but with her speed that actually showed a certain amount of restraint. Soon, the footsteps stopped and a knock came at the door.

Alex opened it, and there was Kara, looking very much like she'd rushed out the door first thing in the morning, with no makeup, her hair windswept, her t-shirt rumpled. If Alex could see her socks, she suspected they wouldn't match. But she'd come in through the door, not the fire escape, so she probably hadn't flown.

To Alex's knowledge, she hadn't flown in years, and so much the better.

Kara stepped inside and her eyes widened as she caught sight of Astra standing in front of the couch. Alex stepped back and kept an eye on each of them, though she wasn't sure what she'd do if things went south. She wanted to reach for a gun, but she wasn't carrying one.

Kara looked... wary and hurt and vulnerable, and Alex's heart ached, seeing her like that, when she'd only hoped to make her happy.

Astra, though, looked sad and hopeful and bone-tired, the kind of tired that only builds up after years of hardship, but not angry, at least, and that gave Alex some hope that they might be able to work things out.

<Aunt Astra,> said Kara, and then her words seemed to desert her, her mouth snapping shut.

<Little One,> said Astra, her voice shaking, all of her self-assurance gone. <I missed you.>

<Then why...> said Kara, and her voice faltered again. Her eyes shone, on the verge of tears.

Alex found herself instinctively stepping to Kara's side, rubbing her back with a comforting hand.

Kara cleared her throat, leaning into Alex's touch just a little. <Why didn't you look for me? I thought you were dead!>

<I did! But I assumed that you arrived along with Kal-El. I was looking for a grown woman, but you must have been trapped in the Phantom Zone, just like... just like me. I should have looked harder. I'm sorry.>

Kara nodded tightly. Looking from Kara to Astra now, Alex wondered how she had failed to see their resemblance the night before. Their faces mirrored each other, pained and hesitant, wanting to reach out to each other but afraid.

To distract herself from difficult thoughts, and maybe give them a break, she intervened. "Not to interrupt, but I can't be the only one who's hungry here. What do you say we all head down to the diner at the end of the block and continue this discussion over food?"

"Food, yes. Food is good." Kara nodded.

Astra hesitated.

"Come on. They have great waffles. I know you Kryptonians need to eat a lot. And I need my coffee to function this early in the morning." _Especially after a night of drinking and awkward revelations._

Astra nodded. "That is sensible, I suppose. Very well."

* * *

They left Alex's building and headed towards the diner in silence. This early on a Saturday, there was hardly anyone on the road or sidewalk. After a moment, Alex poked Kara in the side.

"Hey!"

"So, how did you get here so fast? Don't tell me you flew."

"No, but... I actually left my place before I even called you. And then I realized that maybe I should make sure it was okay to swing by, rather than just dropping in on you."

"I'm glad you did, although I think we were both expecting to go a little slower... maybe talk on the phone first, or something..." _I was expecting to have a contingency plan, but I guess I shouldn't have texted Kara right away... I'm going to have to hide this from the DEO, aren't I._

Approaching the diner, which had a bit of a retro look, with its Formica tables and light fixtures that hadn't been changed in decades, Alex could see that it wasn't crowded, this early in the morning. Soon, they were all seated around a table, Kara and Alex on one side, Astra on the other. Alex immediately ordered coffee but after that no one spoke for a moment, Astra and Kara staring down at their respective menus, so it fell to her to break the ice.

"I was going to save this for later, but Kara said you were married?"

"I was."

"Did Uncle Non stay behind on Krypton or something?" asked Kara.

"No," said Astra. "He is here, on Earth, though I would not advise you to seek him out. He does not think kindly of Alura, and I worry he might take it out on you."

"Oh," said Kara, a little downcast.

Alex covered Kara's hand with her own and squeezed it, aware of Astra's eyes following the gesture. "So... you're separated?"

"Yes. We had a... falling out, some months back. I doubt he wants me back, and _I_ certainly do not want _him_ back. It was not my intention to deceive you."

Alex felt a bit of her anger fade at that explanation, leaving her with a mess of hope, fear, and unease. "And what are you doing in National City? Besides going to bars, that is."

Astra shrugged, looking suddenly vulnerable and tired again. "I had to go somewhere. I considered going to Metropolis, but I doubt Kal would have received me with open arms. So I decided to hide from both humans and my former companions."

Before Alex could ask anything else, Kara frowned. "You don't know him. He's a good man."

"I'm sure he is, little one, but I believed he might see me as a threat."

"A threat? What? Aunt Astra, I don't understand..."

The waitress' arrival with Alex's coffee interrupted the conversation. Alex immediately took a sip while Kara ordered her breakfast, something called the trucker's special, the biggest thing on the menu. Astra shrugged and ordered the same thing.

"And for you, honey?"

"The early bird, with fried eggs and rye toast," she said. When the waitress had left, she eyed Astra, much the same way she had inspected her the first time she saw her at the bar. "Yes, why _would_ Kara's cousin consider you a threat?"

Astra's eyes went hard, flinty, as they had when she first approached Alex. "I had hoped to wait before speaking of this." She turned to Kara and continued in a low voice. "Alura sentenced me to Fort Rozz. I believe your uncle planned to send records with his son, so it is possible he knows of it."

Alex controlled her reaction to that, but under the table her hand reached for the sidearm she wasn't carrying. She cursed herself for impulsively sending off those messages, rather than waiting and making a plan in the morning. If Kara came to any harm because of this, she'd never forgive herself.

"But... why would she do that?"

"I was trying to save Krypton. I could even have succeeded," she said, and though her voice was low it carried a great anger, clearly still fresh after all these years. "But because of my methods she branded me a terrorist, and sentenced me, Non, and a great many others to Fort Rozz. Her own flesh and blood, and she locked me away!"

Kara glared at Astra. "If my mother sentenced you to Fort Rozz, she _must_ have had a good reason."

"She was wrong. My plan would have worked. There was no other way to save the planet." Astra's fists, on the table, were clenched. "But that no longer matters, now that even Non has turned against me."

Alex was torn between her need to get more information, especially about Non, Fort Rozz, and what Non's plans might be, and Astra's, if any, and her desire for Kara and Astra to get along.

Besides which, they were in a public restaurant, talking about aliens. _Oh dear._

"Look, clearly this is something you'll both need to talk about more, but why don't we all try to get along for now, and not start a fight before breakfast? And maybe talk about the details somewhere more private later?"

Astra was the first to relax, to Alex's surprise. She took a couple of steadying breaths and slowly unclenched her fists. "Fine. I did not intend to take my anger at Alura out on you, Little One, and I _am_ glad to see you again, safe and sound. I know all of these revelations must be hard for you to hear."

Kara glared down at the table for a moment, her arms crossed over her chest, before looking up at Astra at last. "I can't accept that my mother would lock you up without a good reason. I won't. But... I missed you."

The last bit came out as a whisper, and Alex rubbed one hand on Kara's back, making little circles in the back of her shirt.

Astra glanced from Alex to Kara and back again. "You two are close. I am pleased."

"Alex's parents took me in soon after I arrived here," said Kara. "I couldn't ask for a better foster family, or a better sister. So yeah, we're close."

Alex felt herself flush a little at that, but she smiled at Kara. She knew how Kara thought of her, but she never quite felt she deserved it. And now Astra was smiling at her too, not the flirty smile from the previous night but an affectionate one that did funny things to her heart. _Oh no._

She looked up as the waitress arrived with plates full of food. Kara and Astra's were massive—pancakes, potatoes, eggs, fruit, and practically every kind of meat the place offered, while Alex's was as simple as they came, with eggs, toast, potatoes, and an orange slice.

When the waitress had left, with a request for hot sauce from Alex, Astra cleared her throat. "When I realized you were alive, I hoped you had found happiness. You have certainly grown up beautifully."

Kara looked up from her plate, turning a little pink. She'd been shoveling food into her mouth since it arrived. "Thank you."

 _Good, they're making progress._ Alex dug into her own breakfast at last, and for a few minutes there was near silence, broken only by the occasional "pass the ketchup."

As they ate, they talked a bit about Kara's childhood on Earth, always dancing around the subject of Alura and of Astra's recent activities.

After a while, Kara stood. "Bathroom," she said. "Be right back."

Alex had finished her plate, and pushed it away. She watched Astra eat for a few moments and Kara disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. "So."

"So?"

"These criminal buddies of yours. Do we have to worry about them?"

"They are no longer my friends."

"The question still stands. Are they a threat?"

Astra looked at her, and that calculating gaze was back again. "Are you asking as Kara's sister, or...?"

"Or?" Alex felt the tension mounting, tried not to let her heart race. Astra would hear it, her every sense focused on Alex again. _No wonder she knew exactly what I needed, last night._ And now Alex's heart was threatening to race for a completely different reason.

"I never did ask what you did for a living."

"You didn't." _Please don't._

"You said I looked like a soldier. You were right—I was one, once. But you are something different, I think."

"I'm a scientist. I work in a lab." This was dangerous. Astra was getting too close to the truth.

Astra's eyes narrowed. "Perhaps. But I think you are not _just_ a scientist, any more than I was _just_ a soldier, on Krypton. Does Kara know?"

"There's nothing to know."

"I thought not. Be careful. I would hate to see your work... what is the expression? Drive a... something... between you two."

"A wedge." A vice constricted Alex's heart—this was a worry she had as well. What would Kara think, if she ever found out?

"This... lab where you work, am I correct in supposing that they would be interested in knowing that you had met an alien, formerly of Fort Rozz?"

Alex didn't answer that, keeping her face impassive.

"I thought so. I care little what happens to Non at this point, but if you tell them anything, do not tell them where to find me. For Kara's sake, if not for mine."

"I won't put you in danger, except to protect her." Alex smiled. "And I don't even know where to find you."

Astra nodded. "That is fair. You know... you were much easier to read last night. That, in itself, confirms my suspicions."

 _Damn it._ "Well, I had no need to hide my interest," said Alex.

"And I am glad you did not, though it did not lead quite where I expected."

"Likewise. But we should call it off, at least for now." _At least until we know if we can trust each other, and until we figure out if we still want each other and if being Kara's family makes_ us _family._

"Agreed."

Setting aside her own needs in the service of Kara's was second nature to Alex by now, so she almost... _almost_ didn't notice that this time it hurt. That this time it felt like she might be giving up something worth having.

And honestly? If it were just Alex's neck on the line, dating Astra was a risk she might take. But it wasn't, and she reminded herself that any risk she took was a risk to Kara too, because Kara needed her.

That was almost enough.


	4. Crashing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is conflicted about telling the DEO about Astra... and discussing how she met Astra with Kara. One thing she's certain of, though, is that Kara can never know what she does at the DEO. But everything falls apart when Kara catches that damn plane...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, to yokothetypo on tumblr and to JosieCat on Ao3 for their input, and to all of you readers for your support.
> 
> Finally, we've gotten to the pilot episode! The pace should speed up from here on out... if not, we'll still be here 1000 chapters later.

On Monday, Alex still hadn't decided what—if anything—to tell the DEO. Or more accurately, to tell Hank. Maybe it was her imagination, but she felt his eyes on her all morning, as if he knew she was hiding something. But he didn't confront her. At first she rationalized it—how much could Astra's intel really be trusted, anyway? But Kara had confirmed her name, at least. And it could be important.

She'd promised not to endanger Astra, and for Kara's sake she didn't intend to break that promise. She'd have to tread carefully, though she trusted Hank more than most of the higher-ups who oversaw the DEO from afar.

Hank seemed to know what she wanted when she approached him midway through the afternoon.

"Agent Danvers, come with me," he said, and lead her to his office, a windowless room with a solid wooden desk covered in reports, three chairs, a DEO seal covering the back wall, and a large American flag off to one side. "Sit down."

She sat in one of the chairs, trying not to let her internal conflict show. But after all the training he'd given her, he read her better than anyone. Better even than Kara.

"You came to me because you had something to say," said Hank, sitting down behind the desk. "So say it."

She chose her words carefully. "Sir, last weekend I made contact with a potential informant, one who wishes to remain anonymous. I don't know how much their information can be trusted—they have reasons to conceal or distort certain aspects of their story, but I have independent confirmation of their identity from a reliable source, and they are in a position to know what they claim. I don't believe it would be productive at this time to attempt to bring in this individual, with whom I am attempting to build trust. That is why I hesitated to inform you."

"Danvers, you know that I don't favor the aggressive approach the DEO has sometimes adopted any more than you do. You may be right about the need to cultivate this informant of yours, rather than arresting them. Go on."

Relieved, Alex continued. "To that end, I promised them that I would reveal as little about them as possible, but I can tell you that they were at one time in contact with the Fort Rozz aliens, or some of them, but no longer are. As of their last information, there had been a power shift among those aliens. A Kryptonian by the name of Non has seized power, forcing out one or some of their former associates. I believe my informant may possess valuable insight into Non's plans and motivations."

Hank nodded, but she knew that he knew there was more to the story. Astra's identity, as a (or the?) former leader, and the nature of the crimes that had put her in Fort Rozz were both relevant, but she couldn't very well reveal them... or what little she knew about them. Even what she had just said involved a great deal of reading between the lines... but it seemed likely Astra had been one of the ringleaders on Krypton, at least.

"Well, good work, Agent. In the future, however, I will need you to inform me much more promptly of new information."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

 

Alex turned the Kryptonian device in her hands once again. She'd translated the inscriptions before and knew that it was some sort of data storage and playback device, but had still been unable to activate it. Maybe it was broken? Or made to work only for its intended recipient? If she could ask Kara or Astra, she was sure they'd have it figured out in no time. But that wasn't an option.

She set it down, and must have joggled it a little, because suddenly she could move the pieces. It was like a puzzle box, edges sliding against each other. Alex could do this. She was good at puzzles.

After a few minutes it turned on, and the image of a woman appeared before her.

Alex's eyes widened at the familiar face and wavy brown hair. _Astra?_

But then the woman opened her mouth and spoke. "Kara, my brave daughter..."

_If I had seen this before, there's no way I wouldn't have instantly recognized Astra... or mistaken her for her sister, anyway_ , thought Alex ruefully as the message played. It felt a little bit wrong, like peeking into someone's mail, to watch this without Kara. But it was her job, figuring out alien tech and gleaning what information she could from it, so she listened.

* * *

 

When Alex went to Kara's place for TV night that week, Alura's message was at the forefront of her mind. She wished, more than anything, that she could share this piece of Kara's family with her, but that would entail not only revealing that she worked for the DEO, but also implicitly encouraging Kara to reveal herself to the world. And that, she would not do. Could not do.

Ever.

She schooled her face as she knocked on the door, willing her inner conflict not to show. She was sure she succeeded, which is why she was taken aback when Kara fixed her with a stern glare as soon as the door shut behind her.

"Alex, we have to talk."

"Uh... what about?" Alex felt out of her depth suddenly—it was so rare, these last few years, that there was any conflict between them, that she didn't know how to react when there was.

"Did you... I kind of really don't want to know but did you and Aunt Astra... you know?" Kara frowned as she said it, and Alex didn't need any further clarification.

Alex winced. "Would you believe me if I said no?"

"Probably not."

"Then... yes."

"Ugh! Gross, gross, gross!" Kara grimaced, her hands curling into stiff claws in midair.

"Hey, you were the one that asked. And she's not technically _my_ aunt."

"Yes, but she's mine, so it's still gross. Are you still, uh... seeing each other?"

"No. I think we both kind of freaked when we figured it out. I take it Kryptonian culture has incest taboos too?" Alex had long since picked up the habit of asking such questions in the present tense—after all, as long as Kara lived, so did her culture, as much as she could keep it alive. And a little bit of it lived on in Alex and Eliza as well. And in Astra, and whatever other Kryptonians might be on Earth...

"Yeah. Not so much for distant relatives, but an aunt is definitely _way_ too close." Kara shook herself. "I didn't want to think about my sister having sex anyway, but especially not with my aunt."

"Sorry? I guess?"

"You're not really sorry," said Kara, plonking herself down on the sofa.

Alex joined her, not quite as close as usual, in case Kara really was mad. "No, I guess not."

"So uh, how exactly did you meet? Skip over the mushy parts, please."

"Don't you want to order pizza first?"

"Already done. Now, tell me."

"Well, when she walked into the bar I guess I was staring. I mean, she has this... presence, I guess."

Kara cocked her head to one side, considering. "I guess she was always just Aunt Astra to me. Like... the cool aunt, you know? So I didn't really see that side of her. But she was pretty highly ranked... just as accomplished as my mother, in her own way, so I guess it makes sense."

"Yeah. So she saw me staring and came to ask me why... I felt like she was going to interrogate me, but then we got to talking. It was nice. We danced a little, but the noise was too much for her, so I invited her back to my place... and you don't want to hear about the rest."

"I still can't believe it. I mean, I can hardly believe she's still alive, and that I get to see her again, but that you met her completely by chance? I keep pinching myself."

"You don't even feel it," said Alex, poking her lightly in the side.

Kara stuck out her tongue. "I feel it, it just doesn't hurt. Although... I probably _could_ pinch myself hard enough to hurt, if I really tried... hmm." She tried it. "Nope, not hard enough."

"Really?" Alex raised her eyebrows, fighting back a snicker. "You're such a dork."

"Hey, you're the one that used to make me do that kind of thing. For science."

"True, but now that I do science for a living I don't need to use my sister as a guinea pig anymore."

"You miss it, don't lie."

"Maybe I do." It had been a simpler time—before the DEO, before Alex started drinking... and especially before Jeremiah's death. Just learning to be a family, teaching Kara to fit in... and getting her to do ridiculous things in the name of science.

"Hey." Kara pulled Alex into a tight hug, the kind it had taken her months to learn to do without worrying about hurting her. "Even if I'm not crazy about how you did it, and even if there's still stuff I have to work out with her... you brought me and Astra back together. Thank you. I love you." Kara's voice broke on the last word, and she buried her face in Alex's shoulder.

"I love you too." Alex wrapped her arms around Kara as tightly as she could and closed her eyes. "And you're welcome." Alex wasn't a believer, but she prayed silently to God and to Rao that she'd made the right decision, just in case either of them might be listening.

* * *

 

Alex approached Hank after that. She'd been putting it off, but if she didn't quite trust Astra, and if they were going to meet again, she needed to be more prepared.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

As if he knew what she wanted, he lead the way into the armory. It was creepy, how he sometimes seemed to know. "What do you need, Agent Danvers?"

"I need to requisition some kryptonite weaponry, just in case."

"Ah. Your contact is Kryptonian, then? What, exactly, did you have in mind?"

"I can't carry a gun or cuffs, they're too bulky. I need something small enough to go completely unnoticed."

"That's difficult, given their x-ray vision."

_True._ "Alternately, something they won't consider a threat even if they do notice it. I was thinking of a knife. Or knives. The smaller the better."

Hank nodded. "I don't like sending you on your own to see a potential hostile, but your precautions are sensible. Take what you need, but tell me, how likely is it that things will go sour with this informant of yours, in your estimation?"

Alex strode over to the weapon racks, searching for a particular set of narrow kryptonite knives in lead-lined sheathes. "It's unlikely, sir, unless their former associates contact them first. But they expressed no desire for a reconciliation and seem greatly interested in what I can offer them. It seems more likely that they would simply disappear, rather than attack me, if they decide to break off our... arrangement."

She found the knives in question and selected two—one nearly the length of her forearm and one only a few inches long. She could attach one to her belt or her bra, and the other to her lower leg. Both were thinner and lighter than she preferred, and had no guard, but they were inconspicuous and wickedly sharp. In a pinch, they'd do, but she hoped it would never come to that. As she drew the longer of the two to check the blade, an image of plunging it deep into Astra's back rose unbidden to her mind, sickening her, cold fear and disgust mixing in the pit of her stomach. _Where did that come from?_

"Wear a wire next time," said Hank, interrupting her thoughts.

Alex shook her head. "Sir, with all due respect, my informant has placed certain conditions on our meetings that would render that difficult, if not impossible." It was only half a lie... she refused in part to protect Kara's privacy, but also because she had promised Astra that nothing leading to her would get back to the DEO.

"Fine. But be careful."

"Of course." _He agreed to that surprisingly easily. Does he know something I don't? Or does he just trust my judgment more than I thought?_ Alex had long suspected that the head of the DEO had sources he wasn't disclosing to most of his agents, including her. It was the only way to explain some of the things he did, some of the things he knew.

* * *

 

Alex checked that her hidden knives were secure for probably the fifth time. She had the long knife on her leg and the short one in her bra. She'd have preferred them both at her belt, plus a gun, but this was movie night with Kara (and Astra) so she was going to get cuddled, by Kara at least, and the last thing she wanted was a kryptonite knife, even sheathed, digging into her sister's side.

Alex shivered, remembering the mental image she'd had when picking out the knives.

It wasn't like her to get pre-mission nerves to this degree, but this was the first time she'd had an actual mission directly involving her sister, let alone her sister's alien terrorist aunt, and carrying weapons was making this all the more real. Plus, on a normal mission she'd have backup, she'd have Henshaw or Vasquez in her ear the whole time, just in case, even if she was undercover. Today, she'd just have Kara. Sweet, trusting Kara, who'd never fought in her life and hopefully never would.

She didn't expect Astra to turn on them, nor did she think Astra's former allies, now enemies (according to her) to show up, but if they did... she'd have failed already, she'd have put Kara at risk.

She couldn't fail.

Alex shut her eyes for a moment. Astra and Kara would arrive any minute now, and she needed to be calm when they did. She inhaled slowly, then exhaled, letting an artificial calm descend on her. By the time she opened her eyes, she was almost able to pretend it was a normal movie night.

Normally, movie night was at Kara's place, but she'd insistent on holding it at hers, even though the living room was smaller and so was the TV. She had her laptop hooked up to it, though, so they'd be able to watch whatever they wanted. She'd cleaned thoroughly, including washing the couch cushions, though she hated to think why, exactly, she'd had to do that. There were bags of chips and microwave popcorn and soda, as well as ice cream in the freezer. Normally, she might drink, but she was going to have to be sober tonight, unfortunately.

There was a buzz on the intercom, and she answered it, pushing aside her worries.

"Hey Alex!"

_Good. Kara's here first._ Alex pushed the buzzer, listening for the loud click downstairs. She opened the door at Kara's first knock.

"Come in," she said, giving Kara a quick once-over.

Kara was more formally dressed than she usually was for tv night, as though she wanted to impress Astra, or maybe make up for her sloppy appearance the last time she'd seen her. Her outfit would have been suitable for work, even, with her white blouse, blue cardigan, and slacks. Her hair was up in a sort of twisted bun and her glasses sat firmly on her nose.

Kara gave Alex a quick hug, which Alex returned with her free arm before closing the door.

"I doubt you need to dress up for Astra," said Alex.

"And I doubt you need to worry about what Astra would do if she knew where I lived," said Kara.

_Ouch. Busted_. "Look, I'm sure it seems silly to you, but I don't know her that well, and my first concern is always going to be your safety."

"I'm not a kid, Alex. You don't have to shield me from everything anymore."

_Yes, I do._ "Tell that to my mom. And besides, you said it yourself... your mother must have had a reason, if she put her own sister in prison. And we don't know what she's been doing since she got here."

"Fine. Be paranoid, if it makes you feel better. She's not a bad person, whatever she may have done."

"I hope you're right."

There was an awkward silence between them for a moment before it was interrupted by the buzzer.

"That'll be Astra," said Kara, bounding over to answer it.

Sometimes Alex was jealous of her seemingly endless reserves of energy.

Astra's voice came over the intercom, and moments later Kara opened the door to her and gave her a tight hug.

Alex felt herself smiling at them, genuinely happy for Kara... and, to her surprise, for Astra, who looked more than a little taken aback by the contact, but relaxed into it after a moment. They were probably hugging hard enough to crush any normal human.

Astra was still wearing human clothing, jeans and a National City Kings sweatshirt this time.

"It's still weird seeing you dressed like that," said Kara, releasing Astra. "It makes you look... human."

"I might say the same, Little One," said Astra, stepping further into the room. "Why do you wear glasses? I doubt you need them."

"Oh!" Kara took them off and held them out to Astra. "Jeremiah... that is, Alex's father, my foster father, made them for me. They block the x-ray vision. Try them!"

Astra put them on, then narrowed her eyes, much the way Kara did when she used her x-ray vision.

_She's cute,_ thought Alex, then pushed the thought aside, a little horrified at herself. _Since when are terrorists cute? Since Astra,_ said a treacherous part of her mind.

"Clever," commented Astra, a note of surprise in her voice, then took them off and held them out to Kara. "But surely you can control it by now."

Kara shrugged. She accepted the glasses, folded them and put them away in her purse. "Yeah, but I'm used to wearing glasses, and it would be kind of weird if I suddenly stopped wearing them one day. Though I guess I could claim I got Lasik... well, anyway, they're also a disguise, in case I decide to be a superhero, like Kal."

"Are you considering that? It seems quite dangerous, even for him."

Kara sighed. "No, not at the moment, but... maybe some day."

"I would not advise it," said Astra, worry and disapproval mixed in her voice.

" _Rao_ , you're as bad as Alex. Can we just order some pizza and pick something to watch already? What do you like on pizza, anyway?"

"I... am not very familiar with human food, but I will be fine with whatever you two want to order."

"Wait, what? You've been on Earth as long as I have though, right? Or almost?"

"Well..." Astra shot a glance at Alex, as though Alex's presence was making her weigh her words. Probably it was. "I was staying with aliens, so, while we had to use local ingredients, we didn't prepare them as humans do. These last few months I have branched out, of course, but..."

"Huh," said Alex. "So you've been eating Kryptonian-style food this whole time?" This kind of detail wouldn't interest Hank, but she personally found it fascinating.

"Not quite, but as close as we could manage. I did not often work in the mess, but I could try to write down what I remember, if you like." Astra looked at Kara as she said it.

"I think I'd like that," said Kara, a little wistful. "I tried to make some things, back in the day, but nothing tasted right."

"It probably didn't help that you're not a very good cook," said Alex, to lighten the mood.

"Hey! I make a mean grilled cheese! And cake-"

"From a mix!" countered Alex.

"...and pasta, and kugel, and lasagna..."

"...both of which are basically pasta with stuff on it."

"Hey, it's not like you inherited Eliza's cooking abilities, either!"

"No, just her brains."

Astra, who had been watching their exchange with evident amusement, interjected. "Who is Eliza?"

Alex hadn't really wanted to tell Astra about her family, but there was no dodging the question, under the circumstances. "My mother."

"She's a really good cook," said Kara. "She makes the best pie in the galaxy."

"More importantly, she's a scientist. Like me," said Alex.

"There's nothing more important than the best pie in the galaxy," said Kara.

"We get it, you think with your stomach, I think with my head."

"Hey, just because I'm not a scientist like you are doesn't mean-"

"You're not?"

Both Alex and Kara turned to look at Astra.

"No, I'm not. I work at-"

Alex gave Kara a warning look.

Kara huffed in frustration. "I work in an office. Make appointments, plan events, order supplies, fetch coffee. That sort of thing."

"I see. I suppose I assumed... and the other day you looked so much like your father and your uncle, when they would get entranced by one of their problems..."

"And forget to comb or shave for days? Thanks a lot." Kara snorted and turned to Alex. "Jor-El was worse for that than my father was."

"Especially before he met Lara-" added Astra.

"-Superman's mother," said Kara, for Alex's benefit. "Was he? That was before I was born, I think."

"He was. He could go five or ten days sometimes, barely even remembering to eat. His work was brilliant, of course, but there were reasons he was unpopular. Still, on Krypton it seemed you might follow in your father's footsteps."

"Well, I didn't. On Earth I got to choose, and I wanted a change." Kara was silent for a moment, and Alex was reminded of how difficult those first few months hand been for Kara. Not that she'd been sympathetic at the time, or helped much... and she was still kicking herself for it years later. "Now, let's get some pizza."

After a short discussion, Kara picked up the phone and ordered for the three of them. While she was busy with that, Alex took in the faint sadness that clouded Astra's gaze.

"Thinking about might-have-beens?"

"What? No."

But Alex thought it might be that, just a little—it could be hard not to mourn for broken expectations, even when there was nothing wrong with the reality of the situation.

"She's great, you'll see," said Alex.

"Oh, of that I have no doubt."

From the way Kara's ears went pink Alex guessed she had heard their discussion, but she didn't mention it, just finished ordering and sat down in the middle of the couch. Alex sat on one side of her, and Astra sat, much more stiffly, on the other, as if unsure how to relate to this Kara she no longer knew.

That was probably mutual, and for that matter Alex wasn't sure how to act, either. She wanted to check her knives again, even though that was hardly as reassuring as it would have been during a normal op, but she held back. Instead, she reached for her laptop, dragging it onto her lap so they could pick something to watch. This was going to be a long night.

A nudge from Kara shook her out of her thoughts. "Wanna switch?"

"What?"

"You should sit in the middle, so Astra can see what we're picking. Unless you want me to pick."

"Not on your life."

But swapping places with Kara felt like a mistake the instant Alex sat down. With Astra this close, almost touching her, Alex was all too reminded of what they'd done not so long ago on this very couch. Memories rushed to the forefront of her mind, ones she could not be thinking of with her sister right on the other side of her.

She was also reminded of the potential threat Astra posed, and God, she could practically feel the tension, the unease radiating off of her.

Well, at least that made two of them.

Kara, on the other hand, seemed more relaxed with Alex as a buffer.

_Well, if I have to take one for the team, then I will. But this really would be easier after a drink or two._

* * *

Going back to the DEO and telling Hank the little tidbits Astra let slip after that hurt. It felt like a betrayal. Alex told herself that even if Astra wasn't the enemy anymore, she had been. That, moreover, Astra knew—or suspected—what Alex was doing. That anything she revealed about her activities on Earth was in light of that fact.

Implicit, though unspoken, consent.

That didn't stop Alex from feeling like the bad guy.

* * *

 

Alex was the only one who didn't celebrate when Kara caught the plane. The only one who breathed a quiet "oh, no," when she looked out the window and saw that it was Kara.

And then she was dumb enough to rush over to Kara's apartment as soon as she could and yell at Kara for quite possibly saving her life.

Dumb because it didn't work. It would never have worked. Kara had always had a heroic streak a mile wide. Or maybe a lightyear. Kara had always needed to help people, just as much as Alex needed to protect Kara.

Kara was always going to win that battle, eventually, just as she always won against Alex, at everything. Kara was always going to become a hero or die trying, and Alex was always going to have to pick up the pieces and now all she could do was yell and push her little sister away for the first time in years. All she could do was try and fail and maybe ruin one of the best things in her life.

After that, Alex swung by the liquor store before heading back to her apartment. She slammed the door behind her, a couple of boxes of the cheapest wine she could find sloshing in a thin plastic bag in her other hand.

She was already about halfway to drunk, a mug of wine on the table in front of her, when someone buzzed at the door. She ignored it. The only person she wanted to see was Kara, and there was no way it was her, not after the way Kara had asked her to leave.

And then a knock came at her window and she spun, instantly alert, or as alert as she could be in her current state, scooping up her gun and pointing it at the visitor in one smooth motion. It was Astra, standing on the fire escape, her hair outlined in the white and red of the streetlights below.

Scowling, Alex set down her gun, not bothering to draw the knives she still carried, and strode to the fire escape door. "What are you, some kind of stalker? A science fiction Edward Cullen?" She opened the door. "You might as well come in, if you're going to be that insistent."

Astra brushed past her, an angry stiffness to her movements. "How could you let her-"

"I didn't _let_ her do anything. She decided to catch the plane all by her damn self. You think I'm not kicking myself for that already?" Alex sat back down and chugged the rest of her mug. "Maybe you should have caught the plane yourself, before she had a chance to."

Astra's shoulders slumped. "I did not realize she would do that. But the risk of exposure is as great for me as it is for her. You should realize that."

"What you're saying is, you wouldn't have saved me. Thanks a lot." Alex poured herself another mugful.

Astra raised her eyebrows, stepped towards Alex and gave a little sniff, wrinkling her nose. "You've been drinking quite a bit, Alex. Are you sure that is wise?"

"I'm sure it isn't. And I'm sure you don't care." Alex took another sip, not bothering to taste it, not that this stuff was worth tasting anyway. "You want to protect Kara? Fine. Protect her. Help us capture your former goons. You know, the ones who hate her mother. Give us real intel, not just the little bits and pieces you've been letting slip. Fight alongside us, if my boss lets you."

Astra sat down next to Alex on the old, beat-up couch, letting herself drop onto it bonelessly so that it sagged under her weight for a moment. She was silent for a little while. Then she said, "Fine."

Alex was so surprised, even through the fog of the alcohol, that she almost dropped her mug. "Really?"

"Really. Tell your boss that I am ready. In the morning. I do not promise to fight alongside you, but I will tell you more. I will even speak to your superiors directly, if I must. Now, stop drinking."

"Don't want to."

"How do you expect to protect her if you drink yourself to death? You are not a very large human, and you must be nearing your limit."

Stubborn, Alex took another sip. But before she could finish her mug, Astra snatched it from her at super-speed and downed the rest of its contents.

"I'll drink the rest of your alcohol myself if I have to." She sighed. "It's not true, what you said. I care."

"Fine." Alex screwed the cap back on the box. "Anyone ever tell you you're fucking annoying?"

Astra snorted at that. "Many times. Now, go to bed."

"You're going to carry me if I don't agree, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Alex rolled her eyes. "You're as bad as Kara. God save me from overbearing aliens. Fine. I'll go."

Under Astra's watchful gaze, Alex brushed her teeth and collapsed into bed, not bothering to change into pajamas.

"I will stay the night, if that is acceptable to you," said Astra.

"Suit yourself," mumbled Alex from underneath her covers. "You know where things are by now."

Only after Astra had left the room did she unclip the knives that had been hidden under her clothes and hide them away before going to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kugel is a Jewish casserole, and Kara and Alex are referring to the noodle kind, which is usually mildly sweet. Other kinds (made with potato, usually) can be savory.
> 
> The National City Kings are an NHL team, replacing the LA Kings from our world.


	5. Rapport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra may have agreed to help the DEO but that doesn't mean she has to like their conditions. She proves arrogant, prickly, and worse, caring, putting a strain on her working relationship with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, to Josiecat on AO3 and yokothetypo on tumblr for their feedback and to all you readers for your encouragement.
> 
> This chapter is going up later than expected because I went to a convention last weekend, but the next one should still go up this weekend.

In the morning, Alex awoke groggy, a bit stuffy and headachy all around, but not, she reluctantly admitted to herself, as bad as she would feel if Astra hadn't stopped her. She shut off her alarm, retrieved her knives, dressed, and trudged into the living room. Astra was already awake and rummaging through her cupboards. It was comforting to have her there, somehow, to wake up to company for once... which was a weird thing to think when Astra was the reason Alex was armed in her own apartment. Alex wondered when, exactly, the presence of an alien terrorist had become comforting. Or was she just that lonely?

"I think I have some of that damn sugary cereal Kara likes, if you want some." said Alex, then frowned. Her voice was a bit scratchy. "Don't suppose you know how to make coffee."

"No." Astra had located the cereal and started eating it by the handful.

"Use a bowl," said Alex, getting one down and retrieving a spoon from the drawer.

Was it her imagination, or did Astra actually flush at that? "Sorry. Bad habits. I am not completely ignorant of your manners, but where I live I do not bother with bowls and such."

"Where _do_ you live?" Alex grabbed the coffee pot and started filling it with water while Astra filled her bowl with cereal. "Sorry. You don't have to tell me where exactly, I'm just curious." And concerned, but there was no point in mentioning that. Was there?

"I have a place."

That was no answer. Was she renting? If so, Alex had no idea where she could be getting the money. "Okay. Forget I asked. But listen, if you need something... money, a fake identity, or whatever... you might be able to negotiate a deal with my employers, in exchange for your information. Within reason, of course, and I'm not sure quite how they'll want to play it, but they won't expect you to do this for nothing."

"I suspected as much, but thank you for telling me."

Alex carefully measured the coffee grounds and put them in the machine, then put the top back on and pushed the button. She retrieved a mug and leaned against the counter to wait.

"Are you not eating?"

"I don't need to eat as much as you Kryptonians do."

"True, but you still need to. Especially after a night of drinking like that."

"Fine. I'll eat a protein bar." She had a box of them in the cupboard, mostly for workouts, but sometimes for when she didn't feel up to preparing and eating anything more substantial, but knew she had to eat something. So she pulled one down and waved it in Astra's direction. "Happy? And what do you know about alcohol, anyway?"

"I used to drink. On Krypton. It is, perhaps, fortunate that alcohol does not affect us on this planet."

There was an implication in there, perhaps... that she used to drink too much. Or that she would have, after her planet's destruction, if she could have. Alex decided not to dwell on it—she couldn't afford to care for Astra. Though, if she was perfectly honest with herself, that ship had long since sailed.

Alex didn't like being honest with herself.

* * *

A call to Hank later, and Alex had a meeting time and place—noon sharp at a big empty lot on the edge of the city that the National City Fire Department used for training and bomb disposal.

"Why not take me to your base directly?" asked Astra.

Alex sighed. On some level, she'd always known it would turn out this way, if Astra even agreed to help them. But she couldn't give Astra too much information, either. "Because they don't trust you. They don't want you to know where we are. And they may want to restrain you."

Astra scoffed at that. "They're welcome to try."

"Astra..." _I can't tell her about kryptonite. I won't. Not yet._ "Listen, if you want this to work, you'll have to go quietly. And perhaps accept some conditions you won't like. The people I work with... they don't like aliens. They don't trust them. And that will go double for you, as an ex-con, even with me to vouch for you."

Astra's eyes narrowed. "I see. You believe they have some way of enforcing these conditions you mentioned. I appreciate the warning. It is good that you do not share their distrust."

Alex raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. "I don't trust you."

"You let me stay the night here twice, even after learning I was an alien... once after learning I am a former prisoner. You continue to take me to see Kara, who I know you are willing to die to protect, even though you know something of my past. That bespeaks a certain level of trust, does it not?"

She had a point. Alex ran her fingers through her hair, took a steadying breath, and stuck her hands in her pockets. "Fine. I trust you not to kill me in my sleep. I trust you not to hurt Kara, at least not intentionally. But I do not trust you not to betray the organization I work for, either now or at some later date."

"That is fair, I suppose." But Astra had that hard look in her eyes again, her emotions difficult to read.

* * *

 

Hank ushered Alex into his office almost as soon as she arrived at the DEO.

"Are you sure your informant will show today?" he asked without preamble.

"Yes."

He gave a sharp nod. "Good. Now, sit down and tell me everything you know about her."

So Alex did, hiding little. She told him Astra's name, what she knew of her crimes, that she had once been married to Non, about her disagreements with him and her relationship with Kara. The only subject she avoided was that of how, exactly, she had met Astra, only saying that it had been by chance.

At that, he looked at her the way he did sometimes, as though he knew there was more to the story. But he didn't press.

"She finally agreed to meet with you in order to protect Kara from her former allies, who she suspects will recognize her." said Alex in conclusion. "Regardless of her former allegiances, her loyalty to my sister is real."

"Well, that's something, at least. How much do you trust her?"

"She has had ample opportunities to hurt me, sir, but she has not. Not even the first time we met, when I was unarmed. She seems to trust me to some degree. I am not certain, however, that her goodwill extends to the rest of the DEO, nor would I put it past her to betray us at a later date, if she believes she can do so without harming my sister, and if it furthers her goals."

"So, in your estimation, she's still dangerous?"

Part of Alex wanted to give Astra a stronger vote of confidence... the part that still felt a foolish affection for her. But this was her job and people's lives on the line, so she couldn't risk it. "Yes, sir. I believe her when she says that she is no longer in contact with the Fort Rozz aliens, but I am not entirely certain she disagrees with their cause... whatever that may be. She has avoided the subject, for the most part. However, if we simply arrest her and put her in a cell, we'll lose her trust. I doubt she would fold easily under interrogation."

Hank crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her in silence for a moment. "You put me in a difficult position, Danvers. Can you rig up a kryptonite ankle bracelet in time?"

"Sure, no problem." She'd rarely worked on the cuffs herself, but she knew the necessary radiation dosage, so it shouldn't be difficult.

"We can't let even a former hostile just wander around the city unchecked any longer, not if there's any question of her loyalties. But I'm willing to allow her some freedom, as long as she remains your responsibility."

"You... want me to be her handler?"

"Why not? You clearly have a rapport with her. Unless you know of some reason not to?"

"No, sir." Alex could be impartial, no problem, whatever her own feelings might be.

"Then you're dismissed."

* * *

 

Alex spent most of the morning in her lab, modifying a conventional ankle bracelet to hold a kryptonite payload, then testing, adjusting, and testing it again until the amount of radiation emitted was the same as the kryptonite cuffs the DEO also used. It was ready by about 11:00 hours, which gave her time to eat something before scrambling with the team at 11:30.

She swung by the DEO cafeteria, a dark gray room with a food counter at one side and a number of long tables taking up most of the rest of the space. This early, most of the lunch crowd had yet to arrive, but Agent Vasquez was there, so Alex grabbed a tuna sandwich and sat down across from her.

"Hey, Vasquez."

"Danvers! Good to see you. Any particular reason you've been holed up in your lab all morning? Or is that classified?"

"Well, I probably shouldn't give you the details yet, but yes, there is a reason." Alex took a bite out of her sandwich. It was tolerable, but only just... she wasn't exactly a fan of putting celery in tuna salad. Whatever, at least it tasted fresh.

"One that has something to do with the op you're on later?"

Alex simply raised her eyebrows and took another bite.

"Fine, fine, I won't bug you anymore. You know... you can call me Susan, if you want, off-duty."

Alex hesitated a moment, but heck, she could use more friends, and Vasquez had always seemed kind. "Okay. Call me Alex."

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later, she was gearing up in the DEO locker room, checking her sidearm, kryptonite tranquilizer darts, and body armor before climbing into an armored truck along with Hank and several other agents.

* * *

 

When they arrived at the bomb disposal range, Astra was waiting for them, arms crossed, clad in a tight-fitting black catsuit, looking less human than Alex had ever seen her. She was playing it for intimidation, Alex realized. Alex could have told her that was the wrong strategy. She cursed the DEO regulations that had prevented her from telling Astra more, and which might just have them knocking her out and locking her to a table.

Might just have them doing the same to Kara before long, if she kept flying around the city.

Alex had convinced Hank to try for a more diplomatic approach, but she could sense her colleagues' nervousness as they listened to Hank.

"According to Agent Danvers' intel, the target is ex-military. That means she's highly trained, and might be a threat even without her powers. If she makes any false moves, take her down immediately. Is that clear?"

* * *

 

Alex and Hank strode out through the dust of the empty lot, their weapons lowered, flanked by a number of agents who kept theirs trained on Astra. Astra followed them with her eyes, wary, but not as much as she should be.

"My name is Hank Henshaw. I represent the DEO. You've already met Agent Danvers." He raised an empty hand, as though to show that he meant no harm.

"You two, put down your weapons," said Astra.

_Good._ Normally, a Kryptonian would have no need of such precautions, but Astra was clearly taking this seriously, whether or not she had really believed Alex's warning.

Alex carefully laid her tranq gun on the ground, drew her sidearm and set it down too, and finally unclipped the Kryptonite dagger from her belt and added it to the little pile, while Hank did likewise with his weapons. The ankle bracelet she'd modified was still in a pouch at her belt, shielded so that it wouldn't affect Astra until she took it out, but that wasn't technically a weapon.

Astra looked Hank up and down, her eyes narrow, then did the same to Alex. Alex recognized that expression—it was the same one Kara had when she used her x-ray vision.

"Agent Danvers." It sounded like Astra was trying out the name, and Alex remembered that she somehow hadn't told Astra her last name, let alone her rank, this whole time. "There is something in that pouch at your waist. Show it to me."

Slowly, Alex unzipped the pouch and pulled out the ankle bracelet, freeing it from the shielding and holding it up where Astra could see it.

Her eyes narrowed again, and her gaze met Alex's, accusing. "That is one of those things you people put on criminals, is it not?"

Hank nodded. "That is the condition for you to visit our base. Agent Danvers has modified it so that you won't be able to remove it on your own. It'll track your movements and send the information back to us."

"It will also," perhaps Alex shouldn't say this, but if Astra had to find out the hard way it would seriously damage the trust they had built, "severely limit your powers while you wear it."

Realization dawned in Astra's eyes—she believed the warning now, Alex was sure of it. Astra tensed for a moment, as though she were about to fly away, and Alex's eyes flicked to the agent to her right, who had seen the movement and was ready to pull the trigger.

Alex signaled the other agent to wait and turned back to meet Astra's eyes, trying to apologize wordlessly.

After a moment, Astra relaxed, just a hair, as though forcing herself to remain calm. "How long will I have to wear that thing?"

"Until you have satisfied us that you will not betray us," said Hank.

"And what do you offer me in return?"

"We use your information to capture or kill your former allies, who are now your enemies... and those of your family."

Alex saw Astra tense again at that allusion to Kara, but she didn't say anything.

Unperturbed, Hank kept talking. "Furthermore... I imagine you have found it difficult to integrate into human society, with no papers and no contacts. We can pay you for your services, give you a new identity, one that will let you seek employment and housing on your own, once this is all over."

"Not a bad offer," said Astra, her eyes flicking to Alex again. "But I have one more condition."

"What is it?"

"Agent Danvers remains my primary contact with your organization."

"Done," said Hank. He wasn't smiling but Alex knew he had to be pleased with that.

Come to think of it, so was she, obscurely. Not just at the prospect of spending more time with Astra but that Astra wanted it to happen.

Ruthlessly, she pushed that thought aside. "Then, if we have a deal, I'll put this device on you."

"Go ahead," said Astra.

Alex approached her, ankle bracelet still in hand, and crouched down with another unspoken apology, then pushed up one leg of Astra's catsuit and attached the bracelet. Unlike the kryptonite cuffs, the glow of kryptonite was hidden, rendering it less visible, but it was big enough that the tight-fitting pants leg bunched up above it.

Alex straightened up and nodded to Astra, then to Hank. "It's done."

"Good. Escort Miss In-Ze to the truck, please, Agent."

Alex lead Astra into the back of a DEO personnel carrier. She wouldn't be able to see out, but otherwise they would have had to cover her head.

She sat down next to Alex willingly enough, but her mouth was pressed into a hard line and Alex could see tension in her shoulders. After a moment she asked, "How does your device work? Even my hearing is dulled."

"That's a discussion to have back at the DEO," said Alex. "I'm sure you'll be getting a tour and a briefing when we get there."

"You made it, though. Or altered it. So you really are a scientist."

Alex nodded. "My background's in bioengineering, but I'm also one of the people who figures out the alien tech we pick up. Especially Kryptonian tech, because not many of us read the language. I can probably show you my lab, with Director Henshaw's permission, of course."

"I would like that. I know something of science, myself. Perhaps I can help you there."

_Interesting._ "Another thing. While you work with us, you'll probably need to take a human name, to facilitate interactions with other agencies."

"The false identity your director mentioned?"

Alex nodded. "Exactly. You'll need a new last name, at a minimum. Any preferences?"

* * *

 

With the employment contracts and nondisclosure agreements signed, as well as photos taken for DEO records, Alex was finally able to take Astra on a tour of the facility. First stop, the main ops room.

"Is that..."

Alex followed Astra's eyes to the pod sitting along one wall.

"Yes, that's her pod. I don't think you'll be allowed to touch it, but if you want to take a closer look, that's fine."

Astra had stopped in her tracks and was gazing at it. "Kara doesn't know you have it, does she?"

"She doesn't even know this place exists," said Alex. "If you don't want to take a closer look, my lab is this way."

Alex had cleared away the mess leftover from modifying the ankle bracelet earlier that day, so her lab was neat, with no visible sign of her ongoing projects, except the reference tomes and notebooks in the bookcase along the wall. The only personal touches were a sketch of a dinosaur Kara had given her before she left for college, signed merely K. Danvers 2008, and a glass mug with the molecular form of caffeine on it, courtesy of Eliza (Alex had bought a matching shot glass with a model of an ethanol molecule on it, but judged it not quite professional enough for work).

Astra gravitated immediately towards the sketch. "Kara drew this?"

"Yes, when she was 17."

"Danvers. You said that your people will be coming up with a human name for me, as well?"

"They're giving you a paper trail—birth certificate, state ID, social security, the works. They'll develop a backstory for you, eventually, and an educational and work history, once we have a better idea of your skills. And if you prove your trustworthiness. You won't have to work at the DEO forever, if all goes well."

"I'm not interested in any of that."

"I didn't think you were, but maybe you will be, someday." _Let's not entertain domestic fantasies about the alien ex-con,_ thought Alex.

"I find that unlikely."

"Fine, just tell me more about your educational background. You said you're something of a scientist. Tell me more about that."

"Well..." said Astra, "by Kryptonian standards I am not much of one. Nothing like the noble House of El, and especially nothing compared to Kara's grandfather, Yar-El, in his prime, or to her uncle, Jor-El." There was a note of bitterness in Astra's tone—did she resent them? Feel, perhaps, that she'd been slighted by them?

"Superman's father, right."

Astra nodded. "Kara showed signs of surpassing them both, though at that age it is always hard to tell."

"Did she?" Alex thought back to their high school days. "She was always good at math, but she kept getting in arguments with her science teachers. Said they didn't know what they were talking about."

"They probably didn't."

Alex ignored that. "Her favorite class was art."

"I am glad she kept that up, at least. She was a budding sculptor, as a child."

"So, you were going to tell me about your own work?"

Astra was silent for a moment. "I made some study of geology, on Krypton, as it became clear to me that the planet was unstable. Nothing pioneering, but I kept up with the latest developments, at least. I also did some work in electronics. After we arrived on Earth, I was, as a result, the person most suited to maintaining and repurposing Kryptonian technology, though over time I was able to delegate that to others. Since there was no way of getting replacement parts, I had to learn about human technologies as well. I also have some background in Kryptonian biology and field medicine, and in the last few years I have been studying human environmental science."

Alex was gobsmacked. "Not much of a scientist, my ass! Astra, you're a veritable Renaissance woman. That means-"

"I am familiar with the term. Does it not imply a certain skill in the arts, as well?"

"I suppose. Either way, though, you're going to be a big help around here. And I thought _I_ was an overachiever. You did all of this in addition to your military career?"

"Well, you are only human."

Alex would have laughed, but knowing who this was, she looked more closely at her expression. "You really think that, don't you? That you're better than us."

"I do."

"Lovely. That's going to do wonders for our working relationship, I'm sure."

"It is only the truth. Nothing that I have seen of your cultures, or of what you are doing to your planet, has convinced me otherwise."

"But do you know us? Really know us, any of us?"

"No. But I hardly think-"

"You haven't given us a chance! You've just been looking down on us from afar, and assuming that by following our news, or whatever it is you've been doing, you know all there is to know! God, I can't believe I was attracted to such a small-minded, arrogant jerk!"

For a moment Alex thought Astra would argue with her. But she held herself back. At last she said, "I have never been much of a diplomat... I say things as I see them. On Krypton, that may have been my downfall."

It wasn't an apology, not quite, but it was more of one than Alex had expected. "No, that much is clear." Alex's curiosity and wounded pride were getting to her, so she asked the question. "Why were you in that bar that night, if you look down on us? Why go home with me?"

"I was... lonely. I had been on my own for months, and even before that... most of my companions were not what you would call good company."

_God, why does that make me feel sorry for her?_

"As for you... you were attractive. You seemed quick-witted." She didn't add 'for a human,' but there was no need—Alex did that all on her own. "More than that, you were kind."

Alex groaned. "I do have a soft spot for lonely aliens. Apparently. But that wasn't enough to change your opinion of us."

"No. Though I concede that you are better than most."

_Great. I get to serve as the shining example of humanity. I am not cut out for this._ "Then try me!"

"What?"

"Give me a chance! If you think we're so primitive, so backwards, so... stupid, act like a scientist. Test your hypothesis! Teach me!"

"Teach you what, exactly?"

"I don't know! Science, whatever you want! Kryptonian technology or biology! Physics! I don't care!"

"I am hardly suited to-"

"Now you're just making excuses! If you can't teach it, how good can you be? Besides, you've said you'll help me in here. Won't it be easier if we're on the same page, have the same general knowledge?" Alex took a deep breath, calming herself a little. "I'm serious. You don't even have to do it in English. I can read and write Kryptonese."

Astra just raised her eyebrows.

"Well, yes or no?"

" _Zhi_ ," said Astra.

"Good. Then when do we start? I don't have any urgent projects to work on right now."

<After you finish this tour and we have something to eat. And speak Kryptonese—you need the practice.>

<Hey!>

<Your vocabulary is good, but you speak like a child. You need all the practice you can get, if you want to study advanced subjects in it.>

<Very well.>

For the rest of the tour, Alex spoke Kryptonese, switching occasionally to English when her words failed her. They drew curious glances from some agents, especially when, on one occasion, Alex apparently mixed up two similar words and implied something both dirty and improbable about a supply closet. Astra burst out laughing at that, the first unguarded expression of happiness she'd shown since Kara had caught the plane, and Alex found herself smiling back in spite of her annoyance.

When they returned from the tour, an envelope was waiting for them. Alex tore it open.

"It's your papers," she said, spreading them out on her desk. "That was quick. Astra Inez Lee, from Nevada? Someone was feeling cute today. There's also a California ID, which you'll want to carry, but you can keep the social security card at home, wherever that is. You'll need it when you pay taxes next year."

Astra sighed. "I take back what I said about humans. You're as good as Kryptonians at one thing, at least."

"What's that?"

"Bureaucracy."

Alex put the papers back in the envelope and handed it to Astra. "Now, there's an insult. Speaking of bureaucracy, if you plan to help us for a while, you'll probably want a bank account, and for that you'll need an address. A P.O. box, if you're living in some kind of secret lair. How were you planning on getting back tonight, anyway?"

"I was planning on flying... but I don't believe that will be an option," said Astra with a glance at her ankle. "Unless you're willing to take this off of me when I leave?"

Alex sighed. "I'd like to, believe me, but Hank... Director Henshaw would have my head. Not, uh, literally."

"I don't think I can use that place anymore, if I am to rely on human transit to get here every day. It's much too far."

"Where _have_ you been staying, anyway?" Alex saw Astra hesitate. "Look, you're probably angry at me, and I know I'm still annoyed at you, but you're Kara's family. I just want to help. We could... swing by, pick up your stuff, and you could spend a few nights at my place until you find your own. I mean, if you prefer, the DEO has some quarters as well..."

Astra was already shaking her head. "I prefer to spend as little time here as possible."

"I can understand that. So? Will you take me up on my offer?"

Astra hesitated a moment more. "It is generous. Thank you. To answer your question, I've been staying in an abandoned building to the north, in Midvale."

Alex's jaw dropped. "Midvale? Really?" _She's definitely right that it's too far to commute, though._

"Yes. Can you take me? I'm aware that it's an imposition..."

"I can take you," said Alex, "but I should tell Hank."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yokothetypo came up with the idea of having Alex and Astra go to Midvale, so you can blame that (and the next chapter) on them.


	6. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex had hoped to get out of Midvale unnoticed, but it isn’t in the cards. After Alex and Eliza have a fight, Astra makes everything both better and more complicated by showing compassion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone (esp. [Rae/JosieCat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieCat/pseuds/JosieCat) and [yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/)), as always. yokothetypo is notably to blame for the Midvale suggestion, so this chapter is their fault and you should definitely* send them hate mail.
> 
> *actually, please don't

"You want to take her _where?_ "

"To Midvale," repeated Alex. "Just to pick up her stuff. Apparently she left some things in an abandoned building there."

"I heard you the first time, I just couldn't believe it. Go ahead. Just try not to run into anyone you know."

"Easier said than done, sir, but I'll try."

* * *

"Astra, have you ever ridden on a motorcycle before?" asked Alex as they walked towards the DEO's parking area. She'd retrieved her leather jacket from the DEO locker room and was putting it on.

"No, why?"

"Well you're going to. Not the whole way to Midvale, though, just into the city. We'll drop off your papers at my place, grab some snacks for the road, and go borrow Kara's minivan."

"Kara has a car?"

Alex shot Astra a sidelong glance. "She hadn't flown in years, before last night. In the city she takes public transit and for longer trips she has the van, yes. She actually has a motorcycle license, too, but she doesn't ride as much as I do."

Alex's motorcycle was a sleek, angular black Yamaha, only a few years old, and she was ridiculously fond of it and the freedom it gave her. She handed Astra a helmet before putting her own on.

"Remember, you're vulnerable now. Besides, you'll attract attention if you don't wear a helmet."

Astra put it on without complaint.

"Now, you can hold onto me, or to the bike. There's handholds, here."

Alex was more pleased than she should have been when Astra decided to put her hands around her waist, a solid pressure at Alex's back.

* * *

"Kara lives here?" asked Astra.

"No, not exactly," said Alex, transferring the last of the snacks to the car, a light blue, mid-nineties Toyota minivan Kara had inherited when Eliza bought herself a Prius. Midvale was only a couple of hours north of National City, but Kryptonian stomachs didn't wait for anything. "She lives in another building not far from here."

With Hank's permission, they'd left the DEO early, and would probably get to Midvale sometime in the evening. They'd grab Astra's stuff and a fast-food dinner, and get back to National City with no one the wiser.

Well, no one who mattered, which basically meant Kara and Eliza.

Alex was not in the mood to introduce Astra to Eliza.

"I see. And why is it that you were surprised when I said 'Midvale'?"

Alex froze, halfway into the car. She really ought to watch her reactions around Astra, but somehow that was easier said than done. _Well, she'll probably hear it from Kara sooner rather than later..._ "I grew up there. So did Kara, for five years."

"What?" Astra said it in a tone of flat disbelief Alex hadn't heard her use before.

Alex climbed into the driver's seat. "You were closer than you thought, I guess. Hell, the high school there probably still has photos of Kara, from when she won that art contest back in '08. She'd grown a lot by then, though."

"I had no idea. I've been staying there for about... two of your months, and I didn't realize it..." Astra's movements were slow, heavy as she got into the car.

"Hey," said Alex, resisting the urge to pat her on the arm. "You had no way of knowing." She started the car, and drove out of the parking lot. "Do you mind if I put on music?"

"It's fine," said Astra, "as long as it is not the awful din from that club."

* * *

When they arrived in Midvale an hour and a half later, Astra directed her to a run-down building not far from the center of town, such as it was. Midvale was a typical mid-sized California coastal town, a sleepy place that rolled up its sidewalks early, with a few touristy restaurants and shops near the water. Signs posted on this building indicated that it was slated for demolition, to be replaced by a new hotel that the town didn't really need.

"No need to come inside," said Astra. "I can get everything myself."

"You're sure? It'd be faster with two of us."

"Well... at least wait until I change into something less... conspicuous."

Alex nodded. Astra was still wearing her black catsuit, which didn't matter at the DEO, nor even all that much on the road, but if they were going to hang around town? Alex could imagine the awkward explanations already.

Astra slipped behind the building, and Alex got out of the car and leaned against it.

Which turned out to be a mistake when, about two minutes later, she spotted Eliza driving down the road in her green Prius. She tried ducking back down into the car, not that that would necessarily have helped, but too late—Eliza was already parking right next to her.

"Alex!" she cried as she stepped out of the car. "What're you doing in Midvale? Why didn't you call to say you were coming? How long are you staying?"

"I'm helping a friend move some stuff. We can't stay long, we have work in the morning."

"Well, do you want to stay for dinner? Your friend can come too, of course."

 _Curse her eternal hospitality._ "Well, I'm not sure if we have time, or if she'll even want to..."

"Well, you don't have to, of course, but I was thinking of making tacos."

_She's suspiciously cheerful. Maybe she hasn't heard what Kara did last night yet? She's going to yell at me eventually, I'm sure of it._

_Maybe not in public, though._

"That does sound good, but..." _Astra, please rescue me._

"Ah, is this your friend?"

Alex turned, following Eliza's eyes. There was Astra, dressed almost the same way she had been the night they'd met, but with blue jeans, her hair pulled back, out of the way, carrying a couple of garbage bags.

"Yes. Mom, this is Astra Lee. She just started at the lab. Works in IT. Astra, this is my mother, Doctor Eliza Danvers."

Astra looked taken aback, but quickly hid her surprise. "Nice to meet you, Doctor Danvers. Alex, can you open the door for me?"

Alex complied, and Astra deposited her belongings unceremoniously in the back seat.

"I was just inviting Alex over for dinner," said Eliza, holding out her hand. "You're perfectly welcome to come along."

"I hadn't actually accepted, you know. We're in a bit of a hurry." Astra meeting Eliza was bad enough. Having dinner with the two of them, while Eliza was probably stewing about Kara's actions the previous night, was even worse.

Astra accepted the handshake. "Are you sure? I would be interested."

 _Of course she is. She wants to see where Kara grew up._ That, combined with Eliza's expression, decided Alex. "Well, all right. We'll finish up here and come meet you, okay?"

"Sure," said Eliza. "I have a few errands to run, but it won't be long."

* * *

"Why did you introduce me like that?" asked Astra as she placed another armload in the car. "She knows about Kara, clearly."

"Because I don't need her knowing about Fort Rozz," said Alex. "And she doesn't know about the DEO. Plus, she's going to be mad at me for Kara saving that plane anyway, so this is a bad time to drop anything else on her."

"Why would she be angry about that?"

Alex raised her eyebrows. "Same reason you were. I'm supposed to protect Kara. Which means, among other things, making sure no one finds out she's an alien. You being an alien, much less Kara's relative, would raise too many questions I can't dodge."

"Fine. But can I at least admit that I know her?"

Alex couldn't say no to that, couldn't deepen the ache in Astra's eyes. "Sure. What's in the bags, anyway?"

"Clothing, a few books-"

"Books?" Alex was intrigued. She wasn't a big fiction reader, but if it was _Kryptonian_ fiction... or better yet, Kryptonian nonfiction...

"In English," clarified Astra, to Alex's disappointment. "And a few mementos, though I was not able to bring much. I will show you later, if you like."

* * *

They arrived at Eliza's house before Eliza did. Alex considered letting them in—she did still have a key, and even if she hadn't she was pretty handy with lockpicks—but given that they were actually there to meet Eliza she decided to show Astra the back garden instead, with its palm trees and view of the sea. It was more or less as she had remembered it, and she felt, as she often did when she visited, like she had traveled back in time.

Of course, if she went inside she would see differences—new photos, a new computer, her old room turned into a guest room, Kara's into an extension of Eliza's personal library, though there was still a bed in there.

Alex pointed up at her old window. "That was my room for eighteen years. One time Kara flew both of us out over the ocean from there. We were sure no one had seen us, but when we got back, Mom and Dad yelled at us. Especially at me. I was supposed to be the responsible one, since I'm older." Alex was still a little bitter about that... not so much that particular incident but at the way it had happened again and again... the way it still kept on happening, even though they were both adults now.

"You have not mentioned your father before. Will he be here tonight?"

Even after all this time, a knot formed in Alex's throat. "No, he... he died. About ten... no, almost eleven years ago now."

"I'm sorry," said Astra, and muttered something in Kryptonese. Alex thought for a moment that Astra was going to hug her, but in the end she settled for squeezing Alex's shoulder with one hand.

<What was that?> asked Alex.

<Ah, it's something we say when we hear someone has died.>

Alex almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of a car door closing somewhere behind them. "That's my mother, I bet."

Astra's hand left her shoulder, and Alex found herself raising a hand to the spot she'd touched.

Before Astra could comment on it, she turned towards the house. "We'd better go meet Mom before she comes looking for us."

"Girls?" called Eliza, still hidden on the other side of the house.

"I am hardly a 'girl'," muttered Astra. "I am probably older than she is."

"Are you? You don't look older, even with that streak. Do you age differently from humans?" This was a dangerous topic to discuss while walking around the house towards Alex's mother, who could not know that Astra was an alien, but her curiosity got the better of her.

Astra shrugged. "On Krypton we lived a bit longer than humans do, but that may simply be due to our more advanced medicine. I am not certain what effect, if any, your sun has on aging."

"All right, ixnay on the yptonkray," said Alex as they rounded the corner of the house.

"What?"

Alex almost laughed. "Of course, you don't speak Pig Latin."

"I don't speak any kind of Latin."

"It's not- oh, forget it, I'll explain later. Hey Mom!"

Eliza was walking up to the front door, carrying a bag of groceries. "Alex, do you still have your key? My hands are full.

"Yep." Alex hurried to the front door and opened it for Eliza.

"Thanks. Oh, hi Astra. Do you mind if I call you Astra?"

"Not at all."

"Good. Please, come in."

Alex automatically tapped the mezuzah with her fingertips as she entered the house and almost but not quite kissed them.

Astra watched her curiously and did likewise, then closed the door behind her.

Eliza, who had disappeared into the kitchen with her groceries, joined them in the living room, where Astra was looking around, visibly curious.

"Before I get too busy, do you need anything, Astra? Water, juice?"

"Water, please."

Eliza stepped back into the kitchen, and Alex took the opportunity to gesture for Astra to join her in front of the fireplace. A number of photos, some of them from before Kara joined the family, some after, sat on the mantelpiece.

"Kara..." breathed Astra, "and this must be you, and Doctor Danvers, and... your father?"

Alex nodded.

"Please, call me Eliza." Eliza held out a glass of water.

Astra took it. "Thank you."

"Have you met Kara?"

From the way Eliza looked from Astra to Alex, Alex guessed that she was trying to figure out the nature of their relationship.

"We had Astra over for TV night last week."

"Hmm. That serious, are you?"

Alex flushed. "Mom! We're not a couple. Just friends, from work."

Eliza nodded, though she didn't seem very convinced. She probably knew Alex too well, knew that she didn't usually introduce people to Kara until she knew them pretty well, knew that she could trust them. "Well, in that case..." She took the hall door, towards her office, and Alex had a sneaking suspicion she knew what was coming.

"Oh, great."

"What? Is something wrong?" asked Astra.

"It's nothing," said Alex. "Well, nothing for you to worry about."

Alex's suspicions proved well-founded when Eliza came back carrying three hefty photo albums.

"Here, you can look at these while Alex helps me with dinner," said Eliza, setting them down on the coffee table.

"Here I was hoping you were going to spoil me a little," said Alex.

"Hey, I'm making your favorite, aren't I? The least you can do is help out."

"I can help too," offered Astra.

But Eliza waved it away. "No, no, you're a guest."

"I'll join you in a second, Mom," said Alex.

Eliza nodded and returned to the kitchen.

"Start with the third one," said Alex in a low voice, for Astra's ears only. "It has pictures of Kara in it, starting in 2004."

"Thank you," said Astra.

* * *

In the kitchen, Eliza was busy laying out the ingredients.

"You seem awfully cheerful," said Alex. "I thought you'd be upset."

Eliza gestured for her to close the door behind her, and she did, not that it would stop Astra from hearing them, unless the kryptonite was affecting her hearing more than Alex thought.

"I am," said Eliza. "How could you let her do that?"

"I had no idea she was going to!" said Alex, trying not to raise her voice too much.

"Well, you'd better convince her not to do it again."

"I'm trying! I'm really trying, but I don't think it's going to work."

"Really? You've always convinced her before." Eliza's movements were abrupt, stiff as she pulled ingredients down from the cupboard.

"Really. I went and talked to her... well, yelled at her, actually, afterwards, and now she's not even talking to me. Believe me, I don't want her to risk exposure any more than you do." _Probably less, given what I know._

"Just tell me, what was it that made her do it now? I thought she had decided to try to live a normal life. What happened?"

 _She doesn't know?_ "I was on that plane."

"What?" Eliza finally turned to look at her, surprise and horror written across her face.

"I was on that plane, that's what made her do it. There's no way of knowing, but if she hadn't saved me, I might just be _dead_ right now. And I still went and yelled her for saving me. That's who I am. So don't-" Realizing that she'd raised her voice, Alex took a deep breath, swallowed. When she spoke again, she could feel the anger giving way to sadness. "Don't tell me that I'm not doing _enough_." She blinked away the tears that were threatening to roll down her face.

"I... I had no idea." Eliza looked stricken. "Alex, I'm so glad you're okay." She moved as if to hug Alex, but Alex took a step back.

"No. You don't get to yell at me and then pretend everything's okay. I don't want you to blame me for Kara's decisions anymore, especially not when I'm doing all I can to guide her." Alex swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Maybe I should go."

She stepped towards the door.

"Please don't." Eliza sounded so genuinely sad that Alex risked a look back. "I know I don't always show it, but I do care about you and I want to be in your life. And I'm glad Kara saved you, even if she had to reveal herself to do so. I'm just afraid she won't stop."

"Me too, Mom." Alex took a shaky breath and forced her hands to unclench. "I'm going to go see how Astra is doing."

Alex stepped back into the living room before Eliza could say anything else, and threw herself down onto the sofa, where Astra had one of the photo albums open and was paging through it with the uncomfortable air of someone who had been trying not to listen.

"How much of that did you hear?" asked Alex in a low voice.

"Most of it," said Astra. "I see why you were hesitant to come here. And why you were drinking last night. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," said Alex. She couldn't take it when Astra got like this, all tender and soft. It made her want things she couldn't have. "More importantly, find any good pictures yet? Or embarrassing ones? That's why she got them out, you know. Because she thinks we're dating and she wants to embarrass me."

"She can think what she wants," said Astra. "But yes. It has been... wonderful. I never thought I would get to see any of this." Her hand hovered over a picture of Kara on a camping trip, about age 16, all smiles and with smudges of dirt on her face, her knees, her hands.

Looking at Astra, at the joy and longing in her eyes, Alex couldn't quite regret coming here.

"I'm going to go see if me and Mom can keep the peace long enough to make dinner," said Alex. "Tell us if you need anything."

She opened the kitchen door to see that Eliza had started chopping onions without her.

"I should probably warn you, Astra eats like a starving college student."

Eliza looked up. It looked like she'd been crying, though it could have just been the onions. "As long as she doesn't eat like Kara."

"No one eats like Kara," said Alex.

* * *

 They made it through the dinner preparation by not talking very much, and through dinner by talking to Astra.

Still, Alex couldn't help but heave a sigh of relief when they finally got back into the car.

"Thank you for taking me there," said Astra. "I had no idea how difficult it would be for you."

"It could have been worse," said Alex. "She kind of apologized, but I know she's just going to do that again the next time something happens that she doesn't like. It's always my fault, somehow."

"I think I understand. I was never the favored child, either."

Something about the way Astra was looking at her—as though she really saw her—was too much for Alex right then, as exhausted and worked-up as she was. "Can we just... not talk for a while?"

"Okay." And this time it was Astra who turned on the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mezuzah (plural mezuzot) is something observant Jewish people put up by their doors - sort of a small case containing a piece of parchment with verses from the Torah on it. Traditionally you tap it with your fingers as you pass it, then kiss your fingertips, but a lot of people don't actually do the kissing part these days, due to concerns about germs.
> 
> I'm thinking the Danverses aren't very thorough about it, since for them it's more about ethnic/cultural pride than for religious reasons, but a really observant household would have them on most doorways, excluding bathrooms and small closets.
> 
> Fun fact: many mezuzot are decorated with the Hebrew letter ש shin (pronounced sh or s), which looks a little like a W, in case you can't see Hebrew on your device. So contrast Kara explaining that the Crest of El isn't an S with Alex explaining that the ש really is an S. Sort of.
> 
> [(more info on Wikipedia)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mezuzah)


	7. First Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra and Alex have a fight on the way back from Midvale. Then the DEO takes Supergirl in, causing conflict between Kara, Alex, and Astra, and Vartox appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your continuing support, and to [Rae/JosieCat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieCat/pseuds/JosieCat) and [yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/) for their assistance w/ ideas and beta reading.
> 
> I played a bit fast and loose with the timeline: in the pilot, it looks like Kara and Winn come up with the costume all in one day and that night the DEO takes Kara in (the day after the plane crash) but I have it happening a day later.

They'd changed radio stations three times since leaving Midvale—once because Astra didn't like the music, once because Alex didn't, and once when they lost reception on the previous station.

Aside from that they didn't talk much. Alex focused on the road as she drove, and Astra gazed out the window, sometimes tapping her fingers in time with the music. They might have been any two friends, or... no, just any two roommates driving home. They might have been normal, in the way Kara longed to be. In the way Alex had been, until Kara arrived.

_What would Astra think of that?_

The sun had set, and the stars were out, and Alex felt herself slipping into the kind of contemplative mood so characteristic of road trips after dark.

They were less than an hour from National City when Alex realized she really, really had to go to the bathroom. She was considering her options when she spotted the sign—food, next exit.

"I'm going to take this exit. Keep your eyes out for restaurants."

"Keep my eyes... oh, watch, you mean. Why? We still have food, if you're hungry." Astra pointed to a half-eaten bag of chips in the footwell.

There was also an unopened package of cookies in the back seat, not to mention the protein bars Astra had already polished off. She wasn't eating quite as much as Alex had expected. Perhaps the kryptonite was affecting her appetite? Alex would have to keep an eye on that.

"Bathroom."

"Ah."

"It's a good thing you're hungry, though—we might have to order something for them to let us use it."

In the end, they got lucky—instead of a restaurant, there was a mall. Alex headed straight for the directory, and only after a moment did she notice that Astra wasn't with her.

"Astra?" Looking around, she spotted Astra in front of an electronics store, staring at something. When Astra didn't look away from it, Alex moved to join her.

Several of the TVs in the window were tuned into a news program. The sound was off, but the headline read, "National City's New Hero Stops Bank Robbery". There was video of the front of the bank, but none of Kara, to Alex's relief. Still, it was clear who they were talking about.

"Shit," said Alex. "We're really going to have to bring her in. I told her to stop, but did she listen? Of course not!"

"Bring her in?"

"The way we did for you. Or... probably rougher, but you get the idea."

"No." Astra's hands, hanging at her sides, curled into fists, and though she didn't raise her voice, Alex could hear her anger.

"Astra, it's not my decision. I'm sure my boss is already planning it out. I've known for years... almost since I started at the DEO... that this is what would happen if she used her powers publicly. We'll bring her in, try to convince her to go back to hiding, then let her go. We're not going to keep her."

"No," repeated Astra, and she spun on Alex, glaring, her shoulders shaking.

Alex stood her ground, reminding herself that with the anklet on, Astra was no stronger than she was, and was vulnerable not only to the one kryptonite knife she still carried but to the ordinary gun in her jacket pocket.

"I understand why you're angry. But taking it out on me changes nothing."

"If I still had my powers, I would fly to her now. Warn her." She glared at Alex as she said it, resentment clear in her eyes. Not surprising, since Alex had been the one to convince her to join the DEO.

"She wouldn't leave. I know Kara, probably better than anyone. She's stubborn. And her friends are here, her job. Which she seems to value, even though she complains about it."

"Still, I wish..."

"You'll help her the most by going through with your original plan, by helping us."

"My _original_ plan... was something completely different." And there was that arrogance again, that came from her belief that Kryptonians were better than humans. She seemed to wear her arrogance like a shield, sometimes, or like a mask.

"Are you ever going to tell me what that was?"

"Perhaps. Not today. Certainly not here." Astra seemed to be reigning in her anger, the tension leaving her shoulders, her hands. "Find yourself a bathroom. I will wait."

Alex stared at her for a moment.

"Don't worry, I can't escape," said Astra, with a bitter quirk to her lips and a gesture towards her ankle.

_I'm sorry_ , thought Alex, not sure what, exactly, she was sorry about. About Astra's confinement? About Kara?

"Okay, see you in a few."

* * *

 

When she got back Astra was still there, not that Alex had really thought she would break her word.

They drove the rest of the way to Alex's building in silence. Alex helped Astra carry up her things.

"So... I take it I get the couch again."

"That's the idea. You said you had some... mementos you wanted to show me?"

Astra glared at her. "Perhaps later, when I am no longer angry at you _humans_ and your baseless xenophobia."

"Not baseless." Alex bit back a comment about Astra's own prejudices, because it clearly wasn't a good moment.

"Still, it should not apply to Kara."

"I agree. But I will make sure that she's safe."

Slowly, Astra nodded. "Do that."

* * *

 

"So, you've been pretty much glued to this... Astra... since she arrived," said Vasquez. "Anything I should know about?"

Alex groaned and squirted some soap on her hands. "I'm her handler. You know, since she's a Fort Rozz escapee. Anyway, are we close enough for me to have to tell you if anything _was_ going on?"

"I dunno," said Vasquez, grabbing a paper towel. "You two seem pretty chummy in there."

"We have a rapport, I guess. That's all it is." Alex shook a little water off of her hands and shut off the tap. "I never actually came out to you, you know. Who told you?"

Vasquez grinned, leaning back against the counter. "So you _are_ gay. Or bi? Pan? No one had to tell me, I've seen the way you look at women."

Alex glared at her. "You're pretty perceptive, for someone who sits behind a desk all day. Sure you don't want to be a field agent?"

"Nah, I'm better at watching." Vasquez winked, then pushed off the counter and stepped towards the door. She paused in the doorway, turning back to look at Alex. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I just wanted to see if I still had a chance... Alex."

Alex watched her leave, stunned. She'd never considered a relationship with Vasquez... Susan, she corrected herself... but now she couldn't help but imagine it. Maybe she should actually make the effort to get to know her. Ask her to spar, or out for drinks, sometime.

* * *

 

Astra stopped Alex as she was suiting up, putting a hand on her arm. <Do you really have to do this?>

<I don't like it any more than you do. But according to regulations we have to bring her in, and this is how my boss wants us to do it.>

<Then... do you really have to participate?>

Alex shrugged off her grip. <It's the only way to ensure she doesn't get hurt in the process.> The other agents were watching them, probably because they couldn't understand the conversation. They'd been speaking Kryptonese almost constantly since the day before, switching to English only to speak to others. But it was probably a good idea not to do it around those who couldn't understand. "Look, Astra, she'll be fine. We've calculated the dosage in these things very carefully, and I'll look after her while she's waking up. She'll probably be angry with me, but I won't let anyone hurt her. Okay?"

Astra didn't look happy about it in the least, but she nodded.

* * *

 

The op went down without a hitch—once they spotted Supergirl, everyone scrambled into place, someone's dart (it could have been Alex's but she had no way of knowing for sure) found its target, and Supergirl fell from the sky.

Alex was there when the team carried her into the truck. She checked Kara's vitals with an impersonal efficiency that belied the apprehension that had her stomach in knots. Kara would be fine, just as she had promised Astra—aside from the tiny, almost invisible puncture left by the dart, which would soon heal, there wasn't a scratch on her, and her Kryptonian metabolism would recover quickly from the sedative.

No, Alex wasn't worried about Kara's health. She was worried about her reaction to waking up at the DEO, probably strapped to a table, and finding out that Alex had been working there for two years. And that Astra had found out before she had.

Kara was already mad at Alex, and while Alex had never known her to stay angry for long, it wasn't going to to their relationship any good.

It was with these thoughts in mind that Alex accompanied Kara through the DEO, flashing Astra a quick thumbs-up as they passed to indicate that Kara would be fine.

After that it was a waiting game, several long minutes while Kara's body processed the kryptonite and the sedative. Alex's heart gave a lurch, relief and dread jumbled together, when Kara finally awakened. She only halfway listened to Hank's speech, until he said, "and I believe you already know Agent Danvers."

Kara sat up as far as she could, and the confusion and betrayal on her face sliced into Alex's heart.

"She doesn't need these," said Alex, undoing the cuffs that held Kara to the table, and her heart ached as Kara pulled away from her.

* * *

"Sure enough, you came along, and with you, Fort Rozz."

"Fort Rozz? Oh." Kara glanced at Alex, meeting her eyes for a split second for the first time since she pulled away from her on that table.

Alex nodded, knowing that Kara was thinking of Astra.

As Hank continued, Kara turned to look at him, but after a moment her stance shifted, arms dropping to her sides. Her head turned, just a little, and it was clear, to Alex at least, that she was no longer listening.

Alex followed her gaze. She was staring at Astra. Astra, who had left Alex's lab and was standing in the middle of the command center.

Alex cursed internally. She'd hoped to be able to control this revelation, to tell Kara herself after Hank finished his spiel.

"Aunt Astra! You knew about this?" Kara spun, glaring at Alex. "Was everything you told me a lie? Has she been working with you all along? Why would you make me believe that you, you-"

"Kara," said Alex in a low voice, glancing nervously at Hank and at the agents nearby, some of whom had turned to watch before stepping closer to her sister. She did _not_ want it to be common knowledge around the DEO that she had slept with Astra. At best, it would make her the butt of everyone's jokes... at worst it might cost her her job, Astra her freedom, such as it was, possibly worse. "I told you the truth. I really did meet Astra for the first time that night. And she didn't start working with the DEO until after you caught the plane. She agreed to come here because she wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?" asked Kara, frowning. "From what?"

Alex looked at Hank. He gave a little nod.

"Not just Astra, but many of the other Fort Rozz prisoners were sentenced by your mother. They blame her, and some of them want revenge. They'll take it out on you, if they can."

"Oh," said Kara, in a small voice, and Alex wanted more than anything to hug her, to reassure her. But Kara needed to hear that, needed to know the risks she was taking by putting herself out there, and even if Alex did hug her she was afraid Kara would push her away again.

"As I was saying, for over a decade they've stayed hidden, but in the last year many have been emerging, making themselves known."

"They're planning something," said Alex. "We're just not sure what it is yet." She took another look at Astra, who had stepped closer, but still not spoken. Alex was almost certain Astra knew more about the aliens' plan than she was letting on, but so far she had only given them limited information. Her scientific help was actually shaping up to be more valuable than her inside knowledge of the enemy.

"Your plane," said Kara. "That wasn't an accident. They were trying to kill you. I can help you stop them."

"How? You couldn't even stop us from capturing you," said Hank.

"I'm still learning!"

"If I may-" Astra cut in at last. "Kara, you aren't ready. If you were under my command you would receive months of training before I allowed you to take an assignment. I have no doubt it is the same here."

"She's right. It was a year before Director Henshaw let me out into the field," said Alex.

"Aunt Astra," Kara's head snapped over to look at Astra, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "You used to work with the Fort Rozz aliens. Did you know about this?"

Astra met Alex's eyes for a moment, and Alex could see the hurt in her expression before she turned back to Kara, her proud mask slipping back into place. "No! Well... by the time I left, we... they were aware of the DEO's existence, yes. And there was a plan to discover the identities of as many agents as possible, to target them, if there was an opportunity... but if I _was_ still working with them, Agent Danvers would be the last person they would target."

"Why?" demanded Kara, still glaring at Astra. She'd closed the distance between them and actually looked bigger than her aunt, pulled up to her full height, with her chest thrust out and arms over her chest, even though Alex knew they were about the same size.

"Because I've been working with her. To some degree, she trusts me, far more than any of the DEO's other agents do. If I were working against the DEO, I would want to maintain that connection, use it somehow. If she died, whatever progress I'd have made here would be gone. The fact that she was targeted should indicate that I am not now in contact with my _former_ associates."

After a moment Kara nodded, seeming to deflate. "Okay, that makes sense. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Don't be. It is good for you to learn to be suspicious. It might save your life someday."

Alex couldn't help but agree with those words, as much as she hated the thought of Kara losing her faith in people. Of Kara seeing as much of the dark side of both humanity and aliens as she did.

"All of that aside, our job is to keep people in the dark about alien life on Earth. Nothing says 'covert operation' like a flying woman in a red skirt."

"They know about my cousin," said Kara, leaning forward, her attention focused on Hank once more. "They don't fear him."

"Plenty of people do," said Hank. "It's just not popular to admit it."

It was true. Alex had known it for years, even before starting at the DEO, but she hadn't wanted to upset Kara... hadn't seen the point in it. Maybe if she had, Kara would have been more cautious, disappeared from the limelight after her first rescue.

Alex knew, on some level, that it wouldn't have worked forever, but she couldn't stop from blaming herself that it had come to this, to Kara putting herself in danger and Alex pushing her away.

Well, she'd take Kara hating her if that's what it took to keep her safe. She was selfish enough, though, that she'd do everything she could to stop it from getting to that point.

"You wanna help?" asked Hank. "Go back to getting someone's coffee."

As Kara stalked off, Alex followed, conscious of Astra hanging back. This family they'd started to put back together... it was too fragile, too new for this.

"I know you're mad," said Alex. "And you're hurt. I wanted to tell you every single day-"

Kara spun, more hurt than angry. "Instead, you told me every single day not to be who I really am."

"You have to listen to me!"

"I can't! This just feels like one big coincidence, doesn't it? You working here, hunting down aliens, me being one? Even bringing my aunt into this? I can't help but think the real reason you were recruited was because of me."

That stung. Yes, on some level it was true, it had to be—Hank had even mentioned Kara—but Alex had spent twelve years living in Kara's shadow, sacrificing so much of what she was, what she wanted... had once wanted, for her, and to be reminded that her work at the DEO, the greatest accomplishments of her adult life, might never have happened if not for Kara... it was reopening an old wound.

"They recruited me because my background in bioengineering makes me an expert on alien physiology. And yeah," Alex admitted, her voice shaking, "it helps that I shared a bathroom with one."

"I'm leaving now," said Kara, looking at Alex, then, pained, back at Astra, "unless either of you wants to try and stop me. Which I wouldn't."

"I have not seen that side of her in a long time," said Astra, striding over to join Alex. "Her stubbornness and pride are so like her mother. I can only hope she does not come to harm because of it."

Hank joined them. "I know you don't want to hear this, Agent Danvers, but she's dangerous."

"You don't know her. She is young, inexperienced, even foolhardy, yes. But she is also kind and noble, and with time, I believe, she will do great things. You would do better to have her on your side than to push her away." With that, even Astra stalked off, though in her case it was back towards Alex's lab.

* * *

 

"Super _girl_?" said Alex. "Ooooh boy, Kara's not going to like that."

Astra was watching TV over an early breakfast, while Alex grabbed her own in the kitchen, half-listening to the announcer.

"Why, because it implies she is younger than she is?"

"Sort of. She's quite the feminist. Always supporting some cause or another. Anyway, she'd say it was belittling to call a grown woman a girl."

"What kind of causes does she support?"

"Well, she joined the GSA in high school, before she even came out herself, and..."

"Came out? As?"

"Um... maybe I shouldn't out her to you, but I doubt you'd judge... well, she's pansexual, meaning-"

"I know what that means. And of course I would not judge her. So this GSA? What does it do?"

"Uh, loosely, it opposes homophobia. She also did a lot of community service, beach cleanup, that kind of thing. She always had to be helping someone, somehow, even as a teenager."

"She has always been like that." Astra frowned suddenly. "No, actually, when she was very little—perhaps two or three of your years old—she was quite bad at sharing. I clearly recall her biting another child on one occasion. But she outgrew that soon enough."

Alex snorted, picking up her coffee and heading towards the couch where Astra was seated. "You realize you're giving me a lot of ammunition here, right?" Then she remembered, cursing herself internally as she sat down. "Not that it's going to matter, if Kara stays mad at me... at us."

"She won't," said Astra. "At least, I don't believe she will."

Alex wanted to lay her hand over Astra's, maybe to hug her. But she didn't—it didn't feel appropriate, not now.

* * *

 

"Sir, there's a bogey flying across National City," said Agent Vasquez from her station.

"Alien?" asked Hank.

"Could be, sir. Ah, it stopped... at the power plant."

"Agent Danvers, assemble a team and investigate."

"Yes, sir."

Astra stopped her on the way to the chopper. <If Kara's there...>

<I'll protect her.>

<Can you?> It wasn't condescension in Astra's tone, it was worry. For Kara... and maybe, just maybe, for Alex.

<I will.> She clapped Astra on the shoulder and rejoined her team.

* * *

 

_Shit._

The view from the helicopter told her all she needed to know—armed hostile on the ground, Kara unable to defend herself. It was the kind of scene that haunted her nightmares. She'd seen every newsreel where Superman lay bleeding on the ground, every fight where he hadn't had the upper hand... had studied the ones against aliens, in particular. It wasn't just because of Kara, it was to learn the limits of Kryptonians, and of the aliens he fought.

In her mind, though, she'd always thought, _What if that was Kara?_

Not that she didn't care for Clark, of course, but he wasn't family the way Kara was. Losing him wouldn't feel like losing the better part of her heart.

And here was just such a scene come to life.

"Fire!"

"But, ma'am, Supergirl-"

"Won't be hurt by this. I said fire!"

The explosion had the desired effect—the hostile turned tail and ran.

She rappelled out of the chopper, yanked off her helmet. "Trap one, pursue the hostile."

"Copy that."

Alex's fear didn't subside until the hostile disappeared from view. She crouched, holding Kara in both arms, and finally felt safe again. "Hey, hey, I'm here. I got you, I got you."

* * *

 

"You were right," said Kara, her eyes damp with tears and her mouth twisted in a frown Alex didn't like. "The world doesn't need me."

Alex's heart sank as she watched Kara leave. She could see Astra greet her, but Kara pushed past Astra without replying, as far as Alex could tell.

Astra joined Alex in the lab. "What was that about? She seemed... distraught."

"She is. She's giving up being a hero, I think." Alex wanted to be happy about that, but she couldn't, not when she knew that it was breaking Kara's heart.

"I would have thought you would be glad of that. Though it might be too late to protect her... if Vartox knows who she is, so must the others."

That decided Alex. "I have to go. I have to see her." She tried to push past Astra, but Astra blocked her path. Alex could have thrown her, could probably have forced her way through, as weakened as Astra was by the kryptonite, but she didn't.

"What are you planning to do?"

Alex bit her lip. "There was... in her pod, there was a message. From her mother. I only got it working after I met you, otherwise I would have mistaken you for her. Anyway, Alura wanted Kara to see it, once she was grown up. I want to show it to her."

"To encourage her to fight?"

Alex grimaced. "I don't want her risking her life, you know that. But... I don't want to see her like this, either, and we really could use the help. I'd ask you, but you said you wouldn't fight, and I don't think Hank would trust you to, anyway."

Astra took a deep breath, and for a moment Alex thought she was going to say something. Would she offer to fight in her niece's place? But no, she remained silent for a long moment. <Very well. I'll help you figure out how she can defeat Vartox.>

* * *

 

<Will you come with me?> asked Alex, once they had worked out a plan.

<No. I fear my presence would be... unwanted.>

<I doubt she will stay angry,> said Alex.

<It... is not that. I... I hated Alura, in the end, and I have not forgiven her. I should not, I do not think it would be appropriate for me to watch her message to her daughter.>

<Very well. But you... you support my decision, at least? I am aware of the danger, and I do not do this lightly, but this is Kara's dream. I cannot take it from her.> It was hard getting those words out... not just the language barrier, but working through the emotions that threatened to choke her. Encouraging Kara to risk her life terrified her, and Eliza would be furious, if she wasn't already. <Your support would mean a lot to Kara.> _And to me, knowing I'm not alone in this._

Astra sighed. <I wish that I could protect her. But I believe she can do this.>

<Thank you. Know that if I could do this in her place, I would.> That was understating it—Alex would have killed for superpowers as a kid, and even more so as a teen. 'Protect Kara' would have been a much easier order to follow if Alex had been the strong one.

<I do not doubt that,> said Astra.

* * *

 

"Your family believes in you," said Alex.

Alex knew she'd make the right choice, coming here, the right choice for Kara, as she looked at her sister. Kara needed to do this, needed her encouragement, even if watching her go into battle was going to tear Alex up inside—especially on nights like tonight, when Alex probably wouldn't be able to go in with her.

"I know you do," said Kara, resigned, with a bit of an eye roll.

"No, I don't just mean me. Or Astra, though for what it's worth, she does too." Alex set down her bag, and pulled out the message from Krypton.

"That's Kryptonese writing," said Kara, wonder on her face, turning it over in her hands.

"Yes. I asked Astra if she wanted to come, but she thinks it would be inappropriate for her to see this. It's from your mother."

Kara just about started crying again at that, but she held Alex's hand for the duration of Alura's message.

* * *

 

"It's Agent Danvers and her sister from another planet," said Hank, turning to face them.

"She's here to help us fight Vartox," said Alex.

"I told you, don't trust aliens," said Hank.

"Then what about her?" Kara gestured to Astra, who had joined them as they passed the lab.

"That's why _she_ isn't flying around out there," said Hank.

Astra yanked her pants leg up, revealing the anklet. "It's kryptonite," she explained. "That was his condition for my participation in... this." She gestured at the screens that covered one wall, then behind her towards Alex's lab.

Kara glared at Hank, then shot Alex a look, and Alex knew, with a pang of guilt, that they'd have to talk about this at some point.

"There's no one I trust more than Supergirl. Like her cousin, she was sent here too, to help us. And if you want any more of my help, you're gonna let her."

* * *

 

Alex watched the fight, what little they could see of it, with growing apprehension. The plan would work— _if_ Kara could carry it out. And in spite of her earlier words, she wasn't absolutely certain of that. Oh, she wouldn't have sent Kara into a fight she was sure to lose, but... Kara was her sister, and in a way, her life's work. She'd always worry.

She'd probably still worry when Kara was seventy, assuming they both made it that far.

At some point Astra joined her, stepped closer to her, almost shoulder to shoulder. Alex longed to close that distance, but she didn't.

When Kara needed reassurance, it was Alex who gave it, but at the end of the battle, it was Astra who breathed a quiet _Sokao-nahn Rao w khehth_ —blessed be Rao, a little prayer in times of danger.

And when Kara returned to the DEO, her costume streaked with dust, Astra was the first to wrap her in a tight hug, that would have been crushing without the kryptonite cuff.

<I'm proud of you, my little one,> she said.

Alex heard a sniff—probably Kara, who had always cried easily when she was happy, though with her face buried in Astra's hair Alex couldn't say for sure.

And then Kara let go of Astra and hugged her and between that and Hanks' words of praise her heart couldn't be fuller.


	8. The Ex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra doesn't take seeing Alura's AI well, and Alex has to work out tensions in her relationships with both Astra and Kara. Later, the Hellgrammite takes Alex to Non, and Astra causes trouble at the DEO...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some named male characters! Other than J'onn (who nobody knows is J'onn yet, so shhh).
> 
> You'll notice that I've added a chapter count (18 as of this writing). This is approximate, but it's more likely that it will be more, rather than less than that. I might just change the story summary a bit as well-I feel that as it stands it might be a bit misleading, since so much has happened since the bar!
> 
> As usual, [Rae/JosieCat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieCat/pseuds/JosieCat) and [Reese/yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/) were there to read this ahead of time and encourage me (even tho Reese falsely accused me of something most Foul which I will not repeat here - but definitely send them hate mail about it*).
> 
> Your comments are much appreciated, even when I don't have time or energy to reply immediately! Just knowing that people are reading my work, and that some of you are even enjoying it is a balm to my cold, bitter, attention-seeking, gay little heart.
> 
> *Don't send anyone hate mail, especially not in my name. And it's actually all good, but I would be remiss not to (ab-)use this platform to tease them a little.

<Can you pass me the screwdriver?> said Alex, "the uh, smallest Phillips-head." She was installing a new security panel for the room containing Alura's AI. The work on the AI itself—more repairs than anything else, for things that had been damaged in transit or by the passage of time—was largely complete, with a little assistance from Astra.

<This one?> asked Astra, handing it over. <Your mastery of Kryptonian technology is quite impressive.>

_For a human?_ <Thank you,> said Alex. <I _have_ been working on Kara's pod for nearly two years now. >

<You seem almost... insulted.>

Alex tightened the last screw before answering. <Of course I do. Your compliments hide insults.>

<What do you mean?>

Alex sighed, setting down the screwdriver and running her fingers through her hair. She switched to English, to better express her frustration. "This... belief you have, that Kryptonians are better than humans. Every time you say I'm good at something it sounds like you mean, 'for a human'."

"But you _are_ better. Than most humans."

Alex shook her head. "That's not true. Sure, I'm smarter than most... probably a better fighter, a better shot than most, but better, period? Nah. And it's not... it's not like I think humans are all that great, on the whole. But you don't just insult my people to my face. I have that much pride, at least."

Astra looked at her then... really looked at her, with those piercing eyes of hers. "You are too hard on yourself. And... I did not intend to be insulting."

"You know what your problem is?" Alex didn't acknowledge Astra's comment, nor did she wait for Astra to reply. "I'm the only human you know well enough to see as a person. Right?"

"That is probably true." The thought didn't seem to bother Astra.

"Then get to know some others! Eat lunch with Vasquez or Lin! Go to a coffee shop on your day off and people watch! Heck, talk to Director Henshaw!"

"I did that sometimes... in Midvale. It did not change my opinion."

"Were you _trying_ to change?"

"No."

"I'm not asking you to assimilate completely, not even to the extent that Kara has... just, a little respect? Please?"

Astra gazed at her again for a long moment, and Alex was afraid she would come up with some new revelation, some new insight into Alex's character. But at last she shrugged. "I will try, I suppose."

"Good. Now, this is the moment of truth..." she laid her hand on the panel, and the door slid open. "I'll reprogram it to only let Kara in once we've finished testing it."

Behind her, Astra made a little noise, not quite a word. As Alex turned to look at her, Astra swallowed. "Alura."

She was looking into the room, where a holographic image of Alura stood, slightly transparent and just a bit smaller than life-size, almost a mirror of Astra, separated by hair, attire, and demeanor.

Instead of heading inside as she had planned, Alex stepped back and let the door close. "It's not her."

"I know." But Astra's voice came out rough, almost choked.

"It'll be okay," said Alex, at a loss as to how to comfort her.

"Kara will... she will probably be glad to see this," said Astra.

Alex pretended she didn't notice how quickly Astra was blinking. "You can go in and talk to her... it... if you want."

But Astra shook her head. "No, I... no."

Looking at her, Alex thought she understood, just a little. _She said she hated Alura, but at one time, she must have loved her, as well._

She decided to employ her usual strategy for cheering up Kryptonians—food. "Do you want to come eat with me? There's supposed to be cake today, and it's usually pretty good..."

Astra blinked. "Yes, of course."

* * *

Alex watched as Kara completed the DEO's tests, Astra behind her, like a shadow. She was beginning to see Susan's point about them being glued to each other, but there wasn't much of a choice, not until Hank decided to trust Astra more.

She was, as always, a little in awe at what Kara could do... and a little envious, though she tried to ignore the weight of that feeling in her belly. Behind her, Astra made a disapproving noise as Kara swerved to avoid two missiles.

"What?" Alex turned to look at her.

"Her control is poor, and she should be faster than that. It's almost as though she hasn't flown before."

"Well, before she caught that plane it _had_ been years. Ten years, maybe? She couldn't risk revealing herself, you know that."

"True." Astra sighed. "I wish I could join her up there... there's so much I could teach her. About her powers, aerial combat... you _are_ going to give her some training at least, right?"

"Right. I'm afraid it might be a nasty wake-up call for her, though." Alex had to admit that Astra training Kara wasn't a bad idea, assuming she could be trusted—she knew more about Kara's powers than anyone else at the DEO ever would, and had more time to dedicate to training than Clark did... even if Metropolis hadn't been on the other side of the country. She'd bring it up, if Hank ever loosened up enough to consider it.

"A nasty... what?"

"I'm afraid she'll take it badly. I don't want to push her away again."

Astra eyed her knowingly. "But you will, if you have to, to keep her safe."

Whatever Alex might have said to that was drowned out by a sonic boom that shattered all the glass in the area.

"Well, well. It seems I underestimated her," said Astra, a hint of a smile on her lips.

Alex grinned and walked towards Hank. "Sir, my sister just broke the sound barrier."

* * *

"Well, that's becoming a familiar sight," said Alex, watching her sister walk away from the training room in a huff.

Astra cocked her head to one side. "You did what you had to do, did you not? Much as I would have done, for any overconfident recruit. As you have done, I suspect, for others, in the past."

"Yes, but Kara's not just any recruit. It's never been that hard before."

"She forgave you for knocking her out and locking her to a table, for keeping secrets from her. I suspect she will forgive you for this, in time."

Alex raised her eyebrows at that. "Listing my crimes is not helping."

"Well, I am a soldier, not a therapist, though I know something of the workings of the mind."

"Do you? You didn't mention that before."

Astra shrugged, her face unreadable. "I didn't?"

* * *

Alex could hear male voices behind Kara's apartment door. They sounded... agitated.

"Can we talk?" she asked as Kara opened it, dressed in her supersuit.

Alex looked behind her sister, only to see Kara's friend Winn and a tall, good-looking black guy she didn't recognize. She raised her eyebrows at Kara.

"Um, Alex, you've already met Winn, and this is um, James Olsen, who started at CatCo last week. James, this is Alex, my sister."

"James Olsen?" she asked, offering her hand to shake. "Formerly of the Daily Planet?"

His grip was firm. Strong but not alien-strong, just as she'd expected from his build. "That's the one."

"Nice to finally meet Superman's pal," she said, hearing the door shut behind her and giving his hand one last squeeze before letting go. "Or is it Supergirl's pal now?"

"Both, I hope," he said with an easy smile. "We can uh, leave you two alone if you need to discuss something private."

Beside him, Winn nodded vehemently. She suppressed a smile—he'd always seemed a little terrified of her, though she'd never given him a specific reason to be, and she kind of liked it.

"That would be good, thank you. Unless you have something you need to wrap up first?"

Winn shook his head vigorously.

James just shrugged. "No, I think we're good. Kara?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll see you tomorrow."

When the door closed, Kara gave Alex a sheepish smile and gestured at her suit. "Do you mind if I change first?"

"Sure, go ahead."

When Kara reappeared a few moments later (God, what Alex wouldn't give for Kryptonian speed when she had to get ready in the morning), she had her hair pulled back and was wearing normal clothing—a raglan shirt and jeans. On some level, regardless of how she looked, Kara would always just be Kara to Alex, but it was still amazing how much difference a simple change of clothing and hairstyle could make, even without the glasses.

"Do you really think it was a good idea to tell your friends who you are?" Alex regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. She'd come here to try to fix the renewed rift between her and her sister, not to worsen it, but of course the first thing she did was put her foot in it. That tendency probably had a lot to do with why she was single and why she didn't have all that many friends. Besides, that is, the demanding schedule and secrets of her work at the DEO.

"Yes, because they're my friends. I'm allowed to have friends, aren't I? It's not like I told them about Astra... or Clark. Well, I mean, James knows about Clark, obviously, but Winn still doesn't."

Alex raised a hand, cutting off Kara's babbling. "That's... that's good. Look, I didn't come here to fight, I came here to apologize."

* * *

The mission started well, as such things often did, boredom and anticipation until, all at once, trouble arrived, and suddenly the Hellgrammite had Alex in its claws, fleeing the scene.

It dragged Alex across the ground and dropped her, hard. She bit back a groan of pain, trying to take in her surroundings.

They had company—a broad-shouldered blond man who held himself arrogantly, if human body language even applied to his species.

If he was Kryptonian, it did, but if he was something else? Another shapeshifter, perhaps? She had no idea.

"Where's the superhero?" demanded the blond man, apparently irritated.

"She didn't show. But this is one of the human agents. I'm hoping this is enough to keep you off my back," said the Hellgrammite.

"Pity," said the blond, leaning over Alex as the Hellgrammite left. "I was hoping to kill my niece today. Maybe, if I'm lucky, she'll try to rescue you."

_Niece? He has to mean Kara, and she only had two uncles, as far as I know..._ "Non." Alex spit the name, disgust and anger mingling with the pain from the wound in her leg.

"How do you know my name?" said the man, angling his leg back as though to kick her.

Alex tensed reflexively, not that it would do her any good. A good kick from a Kryptonian could send her flying through the wall.

"Has dear little Kara been telling you all about her family?" he asked, and instead of kicking her he pressed his boot into her stomach, holding her to the floor. "Do you think she missed me? Are you close? Would she be sad if you died?"

"You have no reason to kill me," said Alex, unable to move. "You kill me, you lose your shot at Supergirl."

"You overstate your importance, human," said Non. Then he stopped, cocking his head to one side. "Ah, there she is."

He stepped back into the shadows, and Alex gasped as the pressure left her abdomen. She pushed herself up into a sitting position. She had to be ready, had to warn Kara when she arrived...

* * *

Kara touched down. "Alex," she said. She took a step forward, then looked around warily.

"It's a trap!" cried Alex, but too late.

Even though she was on her guard, Kara didn't see Non coming, and his punch sent her flying back and into the floor.

She grunted, pulling herself upright. "Non," she said, in much the same angry tone as Alex had used.

"Kara," he said, narrowing his eyes. "You don't look surprised to see me. Have you, perhaps, been speaking with my wife?"

"Ex-wife," said Alex, then cursed her impulsiveness as he turned to glare at her. _Shit, am I jealous?_

"Well, well. It seems you _have_ captured her. I told her she was a fool to go off on her own. She was the one who insisted we were 'stronger together', but then, she always did keep her own counsel. If you live to see her again, tell her I will have her back... but only if she begs."

Rage boiled in Alex's gut, and she was filled with a foolish, futile desire to smack the grin off of Non's face. That didn't surprise her... what did is that she wanted to do it for _Astra_. "She would never," said Alex, her emotions once again getting the better of her good sense.

Non's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed again. He was angry. Or suspicious. "You defend her. Why?"

_Shit._

But with his attention focused on Alex, Non didn't notice Kara's approach. Kara socked him under the jaw, sending him hurtling into the air.

While the two Kryptonians fought, Alex began to crawl towards her gear. Maybe she could call for backup.

* * *

 Kicking the Hellgrammite in the balls was more than a little satisfying. So was stabbing him with his own barb.

Alex was running on fumes and adrenaline. She was unarmed. She was injured—the stab wound in her leg, more minor injuries to her hands that she hadn't taken the time to inspect yet.

But there was no way in _hell_ she was letting something like that keep her from her sister.

So she limped her way across the warehouse, leaving the Hellgrammite's corpse behind her, to where she could see Kara facing off against Non.

She waited until Kara sent Non flying, then closed the remaining distance, wrapping her arms around Kara.

* * *

Non flew away, Hank's dagger still stuck in his arm.

"Any more family I should know about?" asked Hank, smiling at Alex and Kara. Suddenly he frowned, tapping his com. "She _what_? Well, don't let her- oh. Put her on—I'm handing my com over to Agent Danvers." He removed his earpiece and held it out to Alex. "Astra got her anklet off somehow and tried to come to the rescue. Talk her down."

"Yes, sir," said Alex, stunned. She fitted the earpiece to her ear. "Okay, Danvers here."

"Alex? Are you okay?" It was Astra's voice, sure enough, but uncertain, wavering.

"I'm fine." The pain in her leg said otherwise, but she could still stand, so it couldn't be too bad. "Kara is too. The Hellgrammite is dead, and Non ran, I mean flew, away."

"Non was there?"

"He was. Director Henshaw stabbed him with a kryptonite knife, but I'm sure he'll survive." Alex couldn't keep a note—possibly more than a note—of disgust out of her tone. But she was increasingly getting the impression that it was Astra who had left Non, not the other way around, so she doubted Astra would really mind it. "Please, just go quietly. We're both fine, and we're heading back to the DEO."

"They'll want to put me in a cell again," said Astra, sounding almost resigned, in the way of someone who had suffered before, with no way out.

"That's probably true. Astra, I'm sorry, and I'll make sure they don't keep you there once we arrive. I want you to know.." _That I care about you. That I know how hard this is for you. That I..._ "that I appreciate what you tried to do for us, but I don't want you—or any of the agents there—to get hurt. If you leave now, even without hurting anyone, I probably won't be able to help you, but if you stay... we'll work something out, I promise."

There was a moment's silence on the other end of the call. "Okay. I surrender."

That last, she said in a loud voice, as if to someone else in the room, and after a few shuffling noises, Alex heard Vasquez speak.

"Well, I don't know what you said to her, Danvers, but it worked. Can you transfer me back to Director Henshaw?"

* * *

Alex felt much better by the time they got back to the DEO. She'd had her wound bandaged and eaten a snack and had some water to help make up for the blood loss. Still, it had been a long day and she hoped this thing with Astra would get worked out soon because she really needed to crash.

By the time she reached Astra's cell, Kara was already there, watching her aunt from outside the cell.

"Hey," said Alex.

Astra turned to look at her, frowning at her limp, at the scratches and bruising on her hands. "You said you were fine."

"The Hellgrammite stabbed me, but I'll be okay." She stalked up to the cell. "I don't know if I should be impressed that you found a way to break out of that anklet, touched that you wanted to help us that badly, or mad that you're a dumbass!"

"What?" Astra, who had been standing near the front of the cell, recoiled in surprise.

"For such a smart woman, you're a dumbass! What did you think was going to happen when you got that thing off? Did you think there wouldn't be a failsafe? That we wouldn't have a contingency plan? Someone could have gotten hurt!" _You could have gotten hurt!_

"That is what I was trying to prevent! You shouldn't have allowed yourself to be captured!"

" _Allowed_ myself?" Alex crossed her arms, ready to go off.

But Astra cut her off, spinning to face Kara. "And you! You should have waited for backup!"

"Aunt Astra, I-"

"Kara, you were lucky. This time it was just Non and the Hellgrammite, and only because Non and his people underestimated the DEO. If there had been more Kryptonians, or other troops, races that do not share our particular weakness, perhaps... I doubt you would have escaped, certainly not without casualties, not going in unprepared as you did. Non is not my equal as a strategist, but he is no fool, and there was a chance he would bring others with him. I acted rashly, yes, but only in order to protect you and your sister."

It sort of stung, being relegated, once again, to the role of Kara's sister, which was both something she valued enormously and something she'd often resented. And she didn't want to be _just_ Kara's sister to Astra, of all people.

Whatever, it wasn't time to work through _those_ feelings. Perhaps it never would be.

"Still," said Alex. "You must understand why Hank didn't let you go in the first place."

"He still fears betrayal. Especially since Non was once my subordinate. But I would not betray you for Non, and I could easily have defeated him."

"Could you though?" asked Alex. She was tempted to throw the cell door open, to make her points with an admonishing finger to Astra's chest. She tapped her pocket, where the keys sat. "Weakened as you were? And you were married for... how many years?"

Astra pulled herself up to her full height and glared at Alex. "What are you saying? That would not have stopped me."

"You don't erase decades in a few months, Astra. At least, humans don't. And I don't think we're that different on that front." Alex glanced at Kara, her main reference for Kryptonian psychology. Their lives would probably have been a lot harder if Kara had seemed less human, even just in the way she acted.

"That is true. But I never said they were _good_ years. I did not end it for trivial reasons."

_Oh, no._ Alex didn't like the sound of that. Neither did Kara, to judge by the stormy look in her blue eyes.

"You said you would get me out of here," said Astra.

_After decades in prison, she can't be enjoying this,_ thought Alex. After a moment's consideration she unlocked the cell door. "I can't let you leave this room yet, but given the circumstances, I think I can let you out of that cell, at least." Then she stepped over to the emitter controls on the wall, and dialed them down a few notches, to 18%, the same as the training room. "You should feel a bit more comfortable now."

"Director Henshaw is gonna flip," said Kara with a little smile.

"He might," said Alex, "but given that Astra got in trouble trying to save us? I'll risk it."

"You are no less rash than I am," grumbled Astra, but she seemed to relax as she stepped out of the cell. "That does feel better, yes."

"Well, he can have us both in for rank insubordination if he wants," said Alex, sitting on the edge of the platform. "We're waiting for him, by the way—he's bringing another one of those ankle bracelets. Apparently he had more of them modified after I worked out the dosage for yours. It's probably better if you _don't_ break this one, though."

"No, I can see how that might give the wrong idea." Astra sat as well.

Kara looked at them curiously for a moment, then sat down next to Astra.

"So, tell me," said Astra, "who defeated the Hellgrammite?"

"Oh, that was me. Were you... friends?" It suddenly occurred to Alex that even though Astra clearly bore little affection for Non, she might have regrets about leaving some of her other associates.

Astra snorted. "Hardly. More like reluctant allies. I believe he only agreed to work with us because he saw no other choice. So, how did you do it?"

Kara was listening intently as well, having missed Alex's fight due to her own with Non. Alex wished that she had the skill to make an epic tale of it... somehow she suspected that Astra could, that her overly formal speech would lend itself perfectly to war stories... _ah, well_.

"I kind of... kicked him in the balls and stabbed him in the chest with his own barb."

Astra's eyebrows shot up. "You defeated him without a weapon? Well, it seems I have underestimated you. I should like to see you spar, if I get the opportunity."

"I guess that _was_ kind of badass."

Kara leaned around Astra to see Alex. "Yeah, just a little."

"Just because I can't shoot lasers from my eyes..."

The door opened, and Hank strode in, followed closely by two agents.

Alex struggled to her feet, her leg still aching. Astra put out an arm to support her, and she almost shrugged it off. Wouldn't want to look too cozy in front of the boss.

Then again, he was freakishly good at reading people, so he'd probably already picked up on whatever it was that was going on between them.

"Agent Danvers, we need to have a talk about security protocols," said Hank, but coming from him that was almost acceptance of her actions. "Astra, know that any future violations of the terms of our agreement may carry consequences, including harsher restrictions on your movement and activities, or even imprisonment. If you want this to come off for good, you'll have to earn our trust, and that takes more than the week that you've been here."

As he spoke, one of the agents who had accompanied him took the new anklet bracelet from its case, while the other lowered, but did not deactivate, the kryptonite emitters. The combined dosage of the bracelet and the room's emitters would be enough, Alex suspected, to make Astra feel quite sick, though nowhere near enough to kill her. It was a sensible precaution, she knew, given that Hank most certainly did not trust Astra, but it still galled her to see Astra suffer.

Astra went along with it willingly enough, though she wobbled against Alex, nearly knocking her over, for the few moments when both the anklet and emitters were in effect.

"You'll notice that this anklet is a new design. I believe you'll find it more difficult to remove than the other one. But again, I wouldn't advise trying."

"I understand," said Astra, standing upright once more.

Hank's expression softened a little. "Your motives were laudable, at least. Just follow DEO protocol and put that motivation to good use and we won't have any problems."

Astra nodded sharply, her face a blank mask.

Once Hank had left, Alex turned to Kara. "I have something to show you."

Astra nodded. "I will be in the mess if you need me."

"What was that about?" asked Kara.

"Astra helped me put this together, a little, but... well, you'll see."

"I didn't expect her to be that angry. I didn't expect _you_ to be that angry at _her_."

"She's hard on us for the same reason I'm hard on you, Kara. She doesn't want to see us getting hurt. That doesn't make it any easier to take, though. You wanted to know if I believed in you."

Kara nodded, and Alex lead the way out into the corridor.

"Even when you moved in with us... that had to be one of the worst times in your life, you'd just lost everything. And yet... you didn't let it dim your light. Even without that cape, that crest, your powers... you'd find a way to help people. You've always had the heart of a hero."

* * *

Alex left Kara with the AI and limped to the mess, where she found Astra demolishing a bowl of pudding.

"You've got almost as much of a sweet tooth as your niece," said Alex. "When you're done there, I'm heading home."

"Did... did she like it, at least?"

"Yeah," said Alex, nodding. "I think she did."


	9. Family Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara talk science, Krypton, Cat Grant, and Astra. Alex is horrified when Kara invites Astra over for Thanksgiving. Later, Kara and Astra have a difficult, but much-needed discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks [Rae/JosieCat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieCat/pseuds/JosieCat) and [Reese/yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/) for your help, and thanks to all of you readers and commenters for your encouragement!

Alex was reading over some of Astra's notes when her phone rang. Pulling it out, she saw Kara's name on the caller ID. She answered it.

" _Ehrosh :bem_ , Kara."

" _Ehrosh :bem_ ," replied Kara automatically. "Wait, what? Why are you speaking Kryptonese?"

"Um." Alex hadn't even thought about it before speaking. "You know how Astra is helping us out here?"

"Yeah... but she speaks English. Pretty well, actually."

"Well, she's kind of... teaching me some things, some of the stuff she was working on, and she insisted on doing it in Kryptonese. So we've been speaking it all day, almost every day. I feel like my head's gonna explode."

"Now you know how I felt when I first lived with you," said Kara, not very sympathetically.

"Yeah, except you weren't learning advanced alien science stuff."

"No, I was learning _incorrect_ alien science stuff, and no one listens to a thirteen-year-old girl who thinks they're wrong."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Okay, you win. Anyway, I've been reading a lot of Kryptonese since I started at the DEO, but my vocabulary still isn't quite up to snuff, and apparently I make a lot of really hilarious mistakes, but she won't tell me why she's laughing half the time. So, what'd you call about?"

"Just wondering if we could switch TV night to tonight. Tomorrow night is the deadline for the magazine, and I bet you anything I'm going to have to stay late again."

"Sure. But you shouldn't let your boss walk all over you like that."

"I knew what I was getting into when I applied for this job, and I don't want to hear that from my workaholic sister, of all people."

_Ouch._ "Fair enough. So, seven?"

"Sure."

"By the way, I hear you did an interview with your boss. You sure that was a good idea?"

Alex could almost see Kara wince on the other end of the line. "Maybe not, but I had my reasons."

"Such as?"

"We-ell... James kind of talked me into it."

"Of _course_ he did."

"Well, it could have been worse! I didn't reveal anything I shouldn't have... at least, I don't think I did. Just... where I'm from, stuff Kal already told you-know-who. I may have almost mentioned that I'm related to him-"

"You didn't!" Alex was horrified. _If that get out, there's no way it'll end well._

"No, I didn't."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief at that. "So... just out of curiosity, but why are you calling Lois you-know-who?"

Kara's voice dropped to a whisper, and Alex had to strain to hear her. "Miss Grant has some kind of history with her, and it's like she knows when someone mentions her." She stopped talking for a moment. "Oh, darn. Miss Grant's calling me, I'd better go. See you tonight!"

Alex pocketed her phone and turned to Astra, who was frowning over what looked like math. "I bet you heard all of that."

"I heard your end of it, and a little of Kara's," confirmed Astra, "though my hearing is not what it used to be, as you recall. Who is Lois, and why would Kal-El talk to her?"

Alex's eyebrows shot up. "Don't you read the news? Lois Lane, ace reporter of the Daily Planet? Got the first ever interview with Superman?"

"Oh. Her. Why do you not speak more of Kal? I should like to know more of his life."

_Because we can't quite trust you yet, as much as I wish that wasn't true._ "Well, he's a private kind of guy, when it comes to his life out of costume. But I'm sure if you want to meet him, Kara could arrange it. I don't know him that well, myself—I've only met him a few times over the years."

"That is not necessary," said Astra, her eyes unreadable.

Alex felt a bit guilty about keeping things from her, but clearly, Astra was keeping things from her—and from the DEO—as well.

* * *

 

"Hey Kara, I have a language question for you. It's from something I'm working on with Astra."

Alex had her phone out on her lap and was grimacing at the photo she'd take of Astra's notes, something she really wanted to understand before going back into work the next day. They'd already eaten most of an extra-large pizza and were halfway watching an old, mediocre superhero movie they'd found on Netflix, but Alex had seen it before.

"Sure, shoot." Kara paused the movie.

"What's _praokh_ , again?"

"Mass," said Kara. "Are you doing physics?"

"A little, yeah. Astra says I should understand the basics of Kryptonian science before she gets into her actual work."

"That makes sense, I guess. Maybe I can help you?"

"Can you?" Alex eyed her dubiously. Kara had rarely done well in science classes, not since arriving on Earth, anyway. Sure, she'd always passed, but even in high school, when she was trying to get good enough grades to get into a good college, she rarely got more than a B, if that, and did the bare minimum number of courses.

Kara rolled her eyes. "I know I haven't done much science since I got here, but on Krypton I was a real science nerd. I was thinking about going into astrophysics, did I ever tell you that?"

"Um. You might have." If she had, Alex had discounted it immediately. She had trouble picturing Kara as a scientist... which probably said more about her own preconceptions than about Kara.

"Well, it was kind of painful thinking about it... the whole House of El, we were scientists. My father, my uncle, my grandfather... so it meant thinking about them. Plus, imagine moving to a new place and suddenly you're bad at the one thing you were best at before, because it's a new language and they explain everything all differently and nothing makes sense..."

"I see what you mean."

"What was Astra working on, anyway?"

"She won't tell me the specifics but she says she has a background in electronics. Hardware and software, I think, which is going to come in really handy the next time we get ahold of some new alien tech. And she was doing some reading on geology before... you know."

"Geology? That was my father's specialty. And she said she was trying to save Krypton, that my mother sentenced her to prison for it..." Kara's eyes widened. "She must have known."

"What? Kara, you're not making any sense."

"Alex, Krypton was destroyed because the core was unstable. It tore itself apart. There were more and more earthquakes over the last few decades, and researching them was my father's life's work. She must have read his papers, and Jor-El's. She must have known for years that the planet was doomed if we didn't do something to save it. But when my mother finally told me what was happening, I called Astra, and she came... I didn't see her again after that. I need to ask her about it, find out what her plan was, what happened to her. How they caught her, what she was accused of. She said she was trying to save the planet." Kara stood. "Alex, do you know where she is?"

"At this moment? No."

"But the DEO must know where she lives now, right? You've been keeping tabs on her, with that ankle thing." Kara's mouth pressed into a thin line, and Alex remembered her disapproval of said device, which they still hadn't properly discussed.

"...yes."

"Alex, what aren't you telling me? I thought we weren't keeping secrets from each other anymore." Kara sat back down.

Alex bit her lip. "As long as I work for the DEO, there will always be secrets. Sometimes, it's bigger than either of us. But... I guess this isn't one of those times." She sighed, then looked up, meeting Kara's eyes, a knot of tension forming in her belly. "This is just me, trying to avoid this conversation. Astra's been staying with me."

Kara's eyes widened. "I thought you said you weren't together anymore! How long has this been going on?"

"Nothing's 'going on'. She's just staying with me. It was only supposed to be for a few days, maybe a week or two, until she found her own place. But... she's been staying with me since the day she started at the DEO. The day after you caught that plane."

"That's what, a couple of weeks? And you only have one bed!"

"I have a couch," said Alex, defensively. "It made sense at the time—I'm the only person at the DEO that she trusts. With you that makes two, now."

"Then have her stay with me! I have more space than you do."

"You also have friends that don't work for the DEO. Some of them don't even know you're Supergirl, right? You'd have to explain who she is, and she's not as good at passing as human as you are."

"She's good enough to fool a trained DEO agent for long enough to get in her pants," said Kara.

Alex shook her head. "You're never going to let me live that one down, are you?"

"Nope!" said Kara cheerily. "It's the only upside of knowing that you slept with her. But... you really aren't together?"

"No, we really aren't. We can't be, now. Not just because of you, but because of what it would do to our working relationship, given that the DEO doesn't fully trust her yet."

"Do you? Trust her, I mean?"

Alex shrugged. "I want to. I'm not sure I should. Do you?"

"I used to. Now I don't know her. Alex, do you like her?"

"I..." Alex was taken aback that Kara would ask that. She'd thought Kara was completely against the idea. "I'm still attracted to her, if that's what you mean. Beyond that... I don't know. Maybe?" _Probably?_

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Look, I'm not exactly thrilled by the idea, but you're both adults and I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me if something does happen between you two. I don't want us to have any secrets that we don't have to."

Overcome by a wave of tenderness, Alex wrapped Kara in a tight hug, one that Kara returned in full. "I couldn't ask for a better sister, you know that, right?"

Alex felt Kara nod against her shoulder. Kara let go and pulled away. "Now, you've gotta help me find a time to ask her about what happened to her on Krypton. And please... be there with me when I do?" Her eyes shone, sad and frightened. "This is going to be hard."

Alex nodded. "Of course. Now, can you help me understand this stuff already? I feel like I'm missing something obvious."

"You probably are. Let me see that."

"Wow, harsh." But Alex handed over her phone.

"Come on, I hardly ever get to feel smarter than you. Rao, her handwriting certainly hasn't improved."

_Oh, wait._ "There's, uh, something else you should know. Astra and Mom met."

"They _what?_ "

"Apparently, Astra was staying in Midvale, of all places... she says it's quieter than the city. Anyway, we went there to pick up her stuff, and ran into Mom... long story short, Astra's seen the photo albums. And I think Mom even _likes_ her."

" _The_ photo albums? The ones she pulls out when you bring someone you're dating to meet her? She thinks you're _dating_?"

Alex grimaced. "Yep. I told her we weren't but I'm not sure she was convinced."

"Oh, boy."

"Yep. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure she believes Astra is human, so that's... something. And I think she's adjusted to the idea that I date women now. Either that or she was too mad about you catching that plane to criticize me for anything else."

Alex hadn't come out until college, and at first Eliza hadn't taken it well.

"If she liked Astra, even though she thought Astra was your girlfriend... yeah, I bet Eliza's over it. That's good, at least." Kara was silent for a moment. "Everything's been really weird since Astra showed up, hasn't it."

"You could say that." _Everything's been weird since always._

As a kid, Alex had blamed Kara for messing up her normal life, but in retrospect, having Superman as her sort-of honorary uncle had hardly been normal either. And a few years before Kara landed, Jeremiah and Eliza had started to tell Alex a little bit about their research—research into Superman's alien biology. That hadn't been normal, either.

No, what Kara had taken away were the _appearance_ of normalcy, at school, and the usual rhythm of their relationships at home.

"But... good weird. Mostly." Kara wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah... mostly," said Alex, giving Kara a playful nudge. "So... Astra's notes?"

"Uh, right."

* * *

 

<Of course I'll be there, Little One,> said Astra as Alex entered the lab.

Alex had a bad feeling about this. "Where, exactly?"

Kara turned and gave Alex a somewhat sheepish smile, as though she knew Alex wasn't going to like what she was about to say. "Thanksgiving...?"

_WHAT._ "With Mom??? Kara, I know she's family but what makes you think this is a good idea? Mom already thinks I'm dating her, and it'll just make it harder to keep our cover... sorry Astra, it's nothing personal. Just... you saw how Mom is with me."

Astra nodded, but Alex was suddenly tempted to take it all back.

_How can I be so selfish? She just got Kara back, and I'm worried about Mom yelling at me, when she's gonna do it anyway..._

"She already yelled at you once about it? Are you sure she's still going to be mad?"

Alex shrugged. "She'll find a way."

"Come on, Alex. I haven't gotten to have a holiday with her... even a human one... since I was a kid. I want to have as much of my family together as possible. And Kal can never make it."

"True, he's pretty busy." They had both avoided giving Astra much information about Superman's personal life, and by now it was habit, though Alex had been afraid at first that Kara would blab everything. Alex looked Kara in the eyes, which was a mistake. She could hardly say no to that expression. "Fine. But we keep up the story that she's my friend from work and doesn't know you're Supergirl."

"Thanks, Alex!" with a little hop, Kara closed the distance between them and gave Alex a quick hug. "Astra, you're going to love Thanksgiving, it's all about food."

"And colonialism," added Alex.

"Yeah, I know." Kara sighed. "But the way we celebrate, it's all about family and food. And Eliza makes the best dessert in the galaxy."

"According to you. I still say Thanksgiving means pumpkin pie. Maybe sweet potato pie. But not chocolate pecan!"

"Can you not... make it yourself? Or is it difficult?"

Kara snorted. "Astra, that's a terrible idea. You haven't seen her cook much, have you?"

"Hey, I'm not _that_ bad," said Alex.

"The last time you tried to make cookies you forgot the sugar."

"True, but I didn't burn them, or anything. Maybe I _will_ make a pie. I'm sure I can do it, with a recipe." _Hopefully._

"I will help, though I know little of human cuisine."

Kara looked from Astra to Alex and back, eyebrows raised. "I can't wait to see this."

* * *

 

Alex forgot about Kara's request for a while. In the end, she brought it up just as Astra got back from a shopping trip.

"Kara wants to talk to you, you know. About, well, what happened between you and Alura."

Astra looked up sharply at that, plastic crinkling under her fingers. "So... she's finally ready to listen?"

"Seems like it. What's that you've got there?"

Astra held up the plastic bag she carried, something from the local pharmacy. "I decided I should finally get a phone."

"Prepaid?"

She nodded. "It seemed easier that way."

"Good, then I can give you Kara's number. You still have mine, right?"

"Yes."

"Kara wants me along when you two talk, so if you could check with me before agreeing on a time, that would be great. Do you... know how to use one of those things?"

Astra sat on the couch and extricated the phone, still in its package, from the bag. "More or less." She stared at the package—thick layers of plastic—for a moment, then began to pick at the edges.

Alex snorted and dug out the kitchen scissors, joining Astra on the couch and handing them to her. "Aww, is it too much for the big, tough, alien?"

Astra glared at her, but accepted the scissors.

"To be fair, that's probably the worst packaging known to mankind."

Astra sawed at the packaging for a few minutes, finally managing to cut it open along one side. "If I had my powers-"

"-You'd probably have set something on fire by now, by the way you're glaring at that thing."

"Perhaps. There has got to be a better way to do this."

Alex shrugged. "You could use a knife, but you risk breaking something."

"Did Kara break things? When she was first getting her powers?"

"Of course she did. I used to collect them—doorknobs, silverware, handles, all kinds of things. Made me feel better, somehow, the reminder that she wasn't perfect." Alex grimaced. "I guess that's kind of... ugly of me. And then she freaked out when she broke a pencil in public for the first time. Thought she'd given herself away. So I decided to be nice and tell her that happened to humans too."

"Does it?"

"Yeah. I mean, it doesn't happen that often, but it does happen. Sometimes."

Astra finally had the package open. Carefully, as though she was afraid of breaking it, she extracted the phone and the included instructions. "You've said before that your parents favored Kara."

"Not so much my parents as my mother. My dad was... fairer. I think." It'd been over ten years since his death, and her memories were starting to get foggy. It was hard to be sure what was true and what was wishful thinking. "I mean, he loved her too, but... anyway, it's not just that everything was about keeping her safe... I couldn't help but be jealous of her powers, of the fact that she'd been to other planets. And at the same time I felt bad about it, because I knew what she'd lost, even if I didn't know how that felt. Still don't, I guess."

Astra met her eyes for a long moment. "I pray that you never do."

"You were trying to stop that on Krypton, weren't you? Does that have anything to do with what you were doing with Non here on Earth?"

Astra remained silent.

"You're going to have to tell Kara something, even if you won't tell me, you know that? What are you afraid of? Afraid we'll stop it, whatever it is?" _I'm sure she doesn't give a crap about Non anymore, but what if she still wants her plan to succeed?_

"I know," said Astra. "Now, let me figure out this device."

* * *

 

About an hour later, Astra checked her phone again. "It's charged. Finally."

"You want Kara's number?"

"Yes. Do you want to... call her together?" Astra looked unaccountably nervous. Then again, they were about to... if not have, then at least schedule a difficult discussion.

"Sure, why not?"

Astra dialed the number and waited a couple of rings.

"Oh, you should push this for speakerphone."

"Thanks."

Just then, the call connected.

"Who is this?" asked Kara.

"Little one, it's me."

"Astra?"

"And me," said Alex. "But this is Astra's new phone, so save the number."

"Um, okay. So, did you have something to talk about, or was this just to give me the number?"

Alex looked pointedly at Astra. You should be the one to start this conversation.

"Kara, I... I understand you have questions about what happened on Krypton. Between me and your mother."

"Yes," said Kara, her voice small. She must have been dreading it too. "Yes, but... not on the phone, maybe?"

"Then... do you want to come over, maybe? Or we could probably visit you, if you'd rather."

"I'll come to you. Be there in ten." With that, Kara hung up.

"Kara? She's going to fly here," said Alex, frustrated.

"Are you worried someone will notice her?"

"It's not just the prospect of a primary-colored superhero landing on my fire escape and getting spotted by half my neighbors that bothers me, it's... well, she's different in that suit, you've seen it."

Astra considered a moment, then nodded. "She does not allow herself to be vulnerable. Or at least... not as much."

"You do the same thing. When you decide you're going to be the General. It's not... I mean, usually it's not a bad thing, but tonight, you need to be there as her aunt, nothing more."

"I know."

* * *

 

When Kara arrived a few minutes later, it was at the door, not the balcony.

"Wait, I thought you'd fly over," said Alex, letting her in.

Kara pointed at the duffel bag slung over her shoulder. "I did, but I changed first. Didn't think you'd appreciate me flying directly here."

"True. Your shirt is crooked."

Kara rolled her eyes and yanked on the hem. "Better?"

"Better."

"Hello, Kara."

"Hi, Aunt Astra." Kara stood in the doorway, hesitantly, where normally she might have closed the distance and given her aunt a tight hug.

"At least come in and sit," said Alex. They'd taken a few minutes clearing the blankets away from the sofa, and the living room was fairly presentable. "Unless you want to have your talk in the doorway?"

"You're really both living here?" asked Kara, stepping inside.

"Yes," said Alex. She closed the door behind Kara.

"And nothing's going on between you two? Not that um, I would stop you but i-if there is I want to know."

"'Going on'?" Astra looked puzzled.

"She means... dating. Or sex, I guess."

Kara turned a bit pink at Alex's bluntness.

"Don't mind Kara, she's a bit of a prude."

"Am not!"

"You are where I'm concerned, anyway."

"No," said Astra, "nothing is 'going on', as you put it. Not since Alex found out who I am."

"Okay. Just... tell me if that changes, all right? But don't give me any details."

"Very well."

Kara set her bag down on the floor. "So. What really did happen? I know you said you wanted to save Krypton, and I know my mother sentenced you to Fort Rozz, but... why?"

"My plan was... drastic. And in order to carry it out, I killed people. Not very many, and not all of them with my own hands, but nonetheless, I was responsible for their deaths. I believed it would be worth it, if I succeeded." She sighed. "Obviously, I did not."

Alex was tempted to butt in with questions about what, exactly, Astra's plan had been and whether that had anything to do with the Fort Rozz aliens' current plans, but she knew this conversation would be hard enough even without her interference, so she held her tongue.

Kara sighed. "I thought it might be something like that. So, you were captured and brought before my mother and she sentenced you. Any judge would have done the same, in her place. But you're still angry with her. Her, in particular, not the justice system. Why? Did you think she would go easy on you because she was your blood? Did you think she should?"

"It is not that. Kara, this will be difficult for you to hear, but... the one thing I could not forgive her was that she used you to capture me."

"What? No, no, she wouldn't." Kara was backing away, shaking her head.

Alex put a hand on her arm, steadying her. "How about we hear her out, then decide? Astra, what, exactly, did Alura do?"

Astra reached into her pants pocket and produced a little round device, which she held out to Kara. "Do you remember this?"

Kara took it, turning it over in her hands. "Your spy beacon. Of course I do. I... I called you with this, and you came. I never saw you after that."

"That's when they captured me. That's when _Alura_ captured me. Kara, was it your idea to use your spy beacon, or was it hers?"

"I... I don't remember. I can't believe she would..." Kara was shaking a little, pale, her eyes wide, glossy.

_She doesn't want to believe it, but she's afraid that it's true. Oh, Kara..._ Alex slid her hand down to Kara's, which hung limply at her side, and squeezed it, hoping Kara wouldn't run—or fly—away.

"Ask her. Or rather, ask that simulacrum of hers. I am certain it knows."

"I..." Kara pressed her lips together, swallowed. "I will."

With that, she tore her hand from Alex's grip and practically ran out the door, the beacon clattering to the ground behind her.

"Kara-" By the time Alex reached the door, Kara had disappeared down the stairs. With a sigh, she shut it behind her sister. "That could certainly have gone better."

"I expected no different," said Astra, bending to pick up the beacon where it had fallen from Kara's fingers to the floor. "I fear this will create a rift between us, even if the AI confirms the veracity of my words. _Rao_ , what I wouldn't give sometimes to be able to get drunk again!"

"Well... we don't actually know what the effect of kryptonite is on Kryptonian liver function, but given that it severely reduces your ability to heal, you probably _can_ get drunk right now. Want to test it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slow week in National City?? Just to be clear, in case it wasn't, Kara didn't spill about Superman being her cousin and therefore Reactron didn't show up.


	10. Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No good can come of Alex and Astra drinking together, or cooking together, or visiting Kara for Thanksgiving together. Even living together might be a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly later than usual, but hey, it's a holiday weekend! Happy 4th of July to Americans and Happy belated Canada Day to Canadians!
> 
> Going with broadcast order here (so, Livewire before How Does She Do It) mostly because I'm more excited for Livewire.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to [Rae/JosieCat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieCat/pseuds/JosieCat) and [Reese/yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/) for their help, including but not limited to brainstorming, helping me through my writer's block, and yelling at me to keep writing.
> 
> This chapter is about twice as long as usual and I feel like sleeping for a week (hopefully I won't).

Astra grimaced as she took her first sip of whiskey. "It has been years since I felt that."

"Burns, doesn't it?" Alex took a sip of her own.

"Yes. I am not very familiar with alcohol on this planet, but it seems... pleasant."

"It's one of my favorites, it had better be good."

Astra shot her a look over the rim of her glass. "The last time I saw you drink, it was wine, from a box."

"Yes, well, when I bought that I just wanted to get drunk, and then I had to finish it... but if you think I'm going to skimp on your first real drink in what, twelve years? Or thirty-some, maybe? You've got another think coming."

Astra took another sip. "It is strange. Sometimes you treat me as a prisoner, sometimes as a... friend."

"Well, on the one hand there's my work, and on the other there's you and Kara." _And my own feelings._

"I see."

* * *

 

"You know," said Alex a few drinks later, her face mere inches from Astra's, "we could blame this on the alcohol in the morning."

"We could," said Astra, and for one dizzy moment Alex thought she might close the minuscule distance between them. But instead she pushed Alex away, gently, with one hand on her chest. "But both of us would know that was a lie."

Alex leaned back, the spell of the moment broken. "Why do you have to be responsible?"

"Because you aren't, right now. And because I haven't had as much as you."

"We could fix that," said Alex, gesturing at the whiskey.

"Alex, please. If we ever... I do not... this cannot be something we regret."

Alex groaned and tipped her head back against the couch, sober enough to appreciate that point. "You're right."

Whatever there was between them, Alex didn't want to have to hide in excuses any more than Astra apparently did. She wanted to let it live in the light of day... or not at all.

But that didn't make pushing it away any easier, not with so little distance between them, not when they spent all day together, most days. And especially not when she was drunk.

"Then, if we can't... maybe we shouldn't spend so much time together. Yes, we live together..."

"Do you want me to move out? I know that was the idea, originally..."

Alex blinked at her, her mind sluggish. _Ah, to hell with it._ "Not really, no. But that would be... responsible."

"Yes." Astra gave a little nod. How dare she be this calm, this rational, after whiskey and Alex's halfway confession?

"And we work together. But we don't have to hang out after work. You've got that ankle monitor... which I trust you _won't_ remove again... and I'm not the only agent the DEO has, either."

"So, distance."

"Yep." Even in her inebriated state, Alex was pretty sure that wouldn't last.

* * *

 

"Okay," said Alex, staring at the ingredients on the counter. "I think we have everything." Pie crust, check ( _why do they come two to a package, anyway?_ ). Eggs, sugar, spices, pumpkin (in a can—Alex wasn't ambitious enough to make it from an actual pumpkin), evaporated milk. She'd asked for Eliza's recipe, only to be told, with a laugh, that Eliza used the one on the can of pumpkin, with slight adjustments to the amount of spices. So she'd jotted those down, and would hopefully make a reasonable imitation of Eliza's pumpkin pie, minus the homemade crush (because again, too ambitious). "If we treat this as an experiment that we're trying to replicate, this should come out okay." Alex couldn't say why even a moderately involved recipe intimidated her more than science did, but that's how it was.

"Are you, as Kara implied, a bad cook?"

"I'm a very basic cook," said Alex. "I can get by if I have to, but I'd rather not bother. And I don't bake. You?"

Astra shrugged. "I'm a military cook. Stew, I think it's called, for 100. That sort of thing. Nothing fancy, and most of the ingredients I know, can't be found on this planet."

"Great. Well..." Alex scans the recipe for the fifth time. "The first step is beating the eggs. Do you want to, or should I?"

"Beat?" Astra frowned, miming cracking a whip.

"No. I'll show you." Alex cracked the eggs into a large bowl and grabbed a fork to show Astra the proper beating motion.

"Oh, I see."

"Why don't you measure out the spices and sugar?" She'd already taken the time to explain the measurements to Astra, so that seemed fairly safe.

"Why do you not measure by weight? This seems so... inexact."

"In some countries they do, but here we're really set in our ways. Tradition, I guess?" Alex set the eggs aside. "Crud, almost forgot to preheat the oven."

"Tradition? I can understand that," said Astra, frowning as she scooped out a bit of cinnamon. "This _is_ the teaspoon, correct?"

"Yeah," said Alex, adjusting the dial on the oven. "Maybe I should have bought a thermometer, this thing's pretty old."

She kept expecting disaster to strike as they assembled the pie, but everything went well, aside from realizing that they had enough filling for both crusts.

Alex triumphantly set a timer on her phone and sat down to wait, checking her email on her phone as she did so. Meanwhile, Astra went out onto the fire escape with a snack and a folding chair. Even without her powers she seemed drawn to the sun sometimes. Working underground all day at the DEO was probably hard for her.

Alex was enjoying their day off, too. Even breakfast with Eliza hadn't been too rough, all things considered, but she felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, though whether the other shoe would be Eliza or some kind of alien menace, she didn't know.

She kind of preferred the alien menace.

At some point, Astra came back into the apartment, scooped up the copy of CatCo Magazine that lay on the coffee table and sat down, paging through it, probably for the article on Supergirl.

"This Cat Grant person, she is Kara's boss?" asked Astra a few minutes later, peering at Alex over the top of the magazine with Supergirl plastered across the cover. "And she does not know of Kara's identity?"

"That's right," said Alex. "Why do you ask?"

"She seems... very disdainful. I know that Kara has made a good many mistakes but... I would hate to see Kara working for someone who disliked her so."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "Believe me, she respects Supergirl a whole lot more than she does Kara. Kara complains about her constantly."

Astra closed the magazine and set it down on the coffee table. "Why, then, does she continue to work for this... woman?"

Alex sighed. "I think Kara looks up to her. Even with this whole Supergirl thing... apparently Cat gave her some good advice. Indirectly, of course, but... and she likes having a 'normal' day job, even if she doesn't enjoy every minute of it. In her place I would probably have quit long ago, but that's just me."

"On the phone, you said she lets this Cat 'walk all over her'. Meaning?"

"Meaning that Kara has trouble saying no. She wants to help people, and that's good, but she does it even when it's not worth the trouble. Even when it gets her in trouble. Like in school, on group projects? She would always end up covering for the person that didn't pull their own weight." Alex thought back on the last few weeks. "That's been changing, a little, and I'm glad, even if it does mean she butts heads with me more."

"Wouldn't that hurt you more than it hurts her?"

"No, it's an expression..." Alex trailed off, spotting a hint of a smirk on Astra's lips. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"

Astra smiled innocently. It was nowhere near as convincing as Kara's innocent smile... and Kara was a _bad_ liar. But then, Kara was just idealistic and good enough to pull it off.

"You _are_ teasing me!" Alex rolled her eyes.

"Should I not?"

"Hey, if this is your worst, I can take it."

Whatever response Astra might have made was cut off by the timer on Alex's phone going off.

"Time to check the pie," said Alex.

"Allow me."

"Okay, just pull one out and poke it with a toothpick—they're in the drawer to the left of the sink—and if it comes out clean they're done."

"Understood."

Alex went back to her reading. Later she would kick herself for not supervising. Maybe it was Astra's age that lead her to assume she'd be less of a disaster in the kitchen than Kara had been at thirteen. Maybe it was the knowledge that kryptonite was taking Astra down to more or less human levels of strength that reassured her, knowing that Astra would have a hard time damaging anything by accident.

What both Alex and Astra failed to take into account was that with the ankle monitor in place, Astra was fully capable of injuring herself.

":Dokhahsh!" Astra swore, and there was a crash as something metal fell to the floor.

Alex rushed to the kitchen, only to see one of the pies on the floor, its filling splattered around it, the oven standing open, and Astra shaking her hands in the air.

"Did you burn yourself? Run water on it! I'll handle the rest!"

Alex grabbed a hot pad and quickly closed the oven with the remaining pie inside, then picked up the damaged pie to assess the damage. It had fallen right side up, at least, and some of the filling was still inside, but the crust looked cracked, and the half-set filling was never going to be pretty now. She decided to put it back in the oven.

By the time she'd done that, Astra had both her hands in the sink, under the tap. Alex got down the last clean bowl and put it underneath, then turned off the water as soon as it was full.

"Keep your burns underwater. The skin's not broken, right?" She should have checked that first, really, but it had slipped her mind.

"No," said Astra, after a moment's consideration. "But it is red, in places."

Alex grabbed a few paper towels and wiped up the filling as best she could.

"Without kryptonite, this would heal in seconds," said Astra, aggravated.

"If I had the key, I'd take that thing off right now. I wish you didn't have to wear it," admitted Alex. "But Hank will never agree."

Astra shot her a surprised look. "You would?"

_Perhaps I shouldn't have said that, but..._ "Yes, I would."

Astra nodded to herself, hands still in the bowl in the sink. "So you do trust me."

"I... guess I do." _God, if only things could be simple..._ if only she could have a normal sister, who didn't need so much protecting, if only she could meet and fall in love with a human, someone she could love openly, if only she didn't have the specter of her mother's disapproval hanging over her...

Sometimes, that's how she felt. But others? She wouldn't give up her sister or her job for the world, and if she had to put up with the rest of it in order to keep them, then so be it.

She was beginning not to want to give up Astra, either, and that was much more worrying.

* * *

 

There was a knock on the door. Kara lowered her glasses, narrowing her eyes. "That's Astra."

Normally, at a family gathering like this, Kara wouldn't have bothered with glasses, not anymore, not now that she had good control over her powers. Ironically, she was wearing them because Astra was coming—Astra, who both Winn and Eliza believed to be Alex's human friend, not in the know about Kara's secret identity.

Kara opened the door, revealing Astra. She wore a long, olive-green tunic with a brown faux-leather belt over blue jeans just loose enough to cover the ankle bracelet and a pair of matching brown shoes with low heels.

Alex had raised an eyebrow at the belt. "Nice outfit," she'd said. "Makes you look Kryptonian."

Astra had laughed at that. "I always look Kryptonian. As do you. But I take your point."

Now she stood somewhat uneasily in the doorway, her eyes darting around the room as if watching for danger.

"Hi, Astra," said Kara. "It's good to see you again."

Alex glanced reflexively at Eliza, then at Winn, to see if they appeared to have noticed anything amiss with Kara's somewhat wooden delivery, but as far as she could tell, they hadn't. It'd be a miracle if they could get through the meal without someone noticing, though.

Distracted as she was, Alex almost missed the two air kisses Astra gave Kara, one on each side, which Kara returned with a look of surprise.

Next it was Alex's turn. Having studied in Switzerland, she'd gotten somewhat used to the greeting.

"J'ai vécu en France pendant un temps," said Astra, her words whispering across Alex's skin, their cheeks nearly brushing each other.

_She lived in France for a while,_ translated Alex. The contact would, in France or in Switzerland, have been perfectly normal between two friends, but Alex had to wonder if Astra was doing this on purpose, knowing it would get under her skin.

Reaching Eliza, Astra hesitated a moment, then stuck out her hand to shake. "It's good to see you again, Eliza."

"Likewise." Eliza's smile as she took Astra's hand seemed genuine enough.

Winn held out his hand before Astra reached him. "Winn Schott, junior. I work with Kara."

"Astra Lee. I work with Alex, but I'm in IT."

Winn shook her hand vigorously, smiling. "Really? Me too! Do you want my card?"

Alex wanted to laugh at the expression of surprise on Astra's face. Sometimes Winn's enthusiasm had that effect on people, though she'd never been susceptible herself.

"Sure."

As Astra accepted the card, Kara sucked in a breath, her eyes focused on the band-aids on Astra's left hand.

"Are you alright?" Kara asked... no, demanded, in a tone more Supergirl than Kara Danvers, angry and protective.

"I am fine," said Astra, putting Winn's card in her pocket. "I received minor burns removing the pie from the oven." She gestured towards the pumpkin pie, which sat innocently on the counter, covered in foil, next to the chocolate pecan pie Eliza had made. The other pumpkin pie was in the fridge at Alex's place, Alex having judged it too ugly to bring.

Kara gave Alex an accusing look.

"Do you cook, then, Astra?" asked Eliza.

"Not often." She turned to Kara. "Do not worry, Li- Kara. I have suffered far worse in my career, you know that."

"In your career in IT?" asked Winn, incredulous.

"When I was younger, I served in the military for a number of years."

"Oh."

That wasn't officially part of Astra's cover story—they'd have to fake a military service record—but it wasn't like Eliza or Winn would be checking. Probably.

Alex decided to intervene before anyone could ask any more questions. "Shouldn't the turkey be about done by now?"

"I'll check!" Kara practically scurried over to the oven, her nervous energy visible in her movements. At the last minute she remembered to grab a hot pad. "It might need, um..."

"Alex, do you want to give your friend the ten-cent tour?" asked Eliza with a meaningful look.

"Sure..." Alex ushered Astra into Kara's bedroom. "Soooo... this is the bedroom, obviously, Kara's got a few knickknacks from high school in here..."

"What are you doing?" asked Astra in a low tone, glancing around the room.

"Preventing my 'human' friend from seeing Kara use her heat vision on the turkey," whispered Alex. "Should be done by now."

She lead the way back into the living room in time to see Kara slide her glasses back into place, and gestured towards the bathroom door. "The bathroom's over there if you need it. Not much of a tour, I guess. Is the turkey done?"

"Yup!" said Kara.

"Then let's eat!"

Eliza sat at one end of the table, Alex at the other. Kara and Astra sat along one side, and Winn sat across from them. The table was loaded with food—turkey, green beans, stuffing, rolls, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy... plus there were two pies waiting for them in the kitchen instead of the usual one. It was enough food for a small army... or about three Kryptonians.

* * *

 

"So, Astra," said Eliza, stabbing some green beans with a bit more force than strictly necessary, "you're ex-military? Which branch?"

"Army," replied Astra, apparently serene, though Alex knew she had to have noticed Eliza's agitation. "I was an officer."

"Really?" asked Eliza.

"Lieutenant," supplied Alex, before Astra could claim her actual rank, which would seem quite implausible for a woman of her (apparent) age. Was it possible Kryptonians didn't age as quickly as humans on Earth? Aside from the white streak, which she'd apparently had since Krypton, she certainly didn't look like she was in her mid forties. For that matter, Clark looked young for his age as well.

Astra shot her a look.

"Sorry, sorry, you were a Captain, I forgot." Alex had learned a decent amount about military ranks since joining the DEO, due to working with the military on a regular basis. Captain was plausible.

"Why did you leave the military?" asked Eliza.

_Oh my god, can we please change the subject before someone lets it slip that it's not the US military we mean?_

"It... no longer suited me."

_Well, she's a better liar than Kara, at least._ But the tension in the air was palpable. Winn was glancing around nervously, and even Kara seemed to have noticed.

"Look, Mom, I know you don't like the military, but can you give it a rest, at least until after dinner? She's not in _now_ , at least."

"Yeah!" said Kara. "I was thinking, we could say something that we're all thankful for."

Alex was kind of grateful to Kara for helping to change the subject, but this, too, could be a minefield. She poured herself a little more wine.

"Okay, um, so, I'll start. I'm grateful for everyone here." Kara favored each of them with a smile in turn, lingering for a long moment (or maybe it only felt like a long moment) on Astra.

Alex tensed again, and took a little sip of wine to cover it. _Don't blow Astra's cover, please don't blow Astra's cover..._

"My best friend in the entire world, my sister who's always had my back, the woman who always treated me like a daughter... and Astra. It... hasn't been long, and I know things were rough at first but... it's been good. Thank you."

"No, thank you," said Astra, just as Eliza said, "Thank you, sweetie."

Astra's voice was a little choked up. "I will go next, if that is agreeable."

"Go ahead," said Kara.

"I am grateful for the opportunities I have had these past months, for Alex, who, more than anyone, has helped me adjust to my new workplace... and for Kara, who has welcomed me to National City, and into her home this night. It has been some time since I was able to celebrate a holiday like this."

Eliza glanced from Astra to Kara and back again. Alex could just about hear her wondering how well Astra and Kara knew each other. But Astra hadn't actually said anything incriminating, so to speak. And what she had said was very nice.

Somewhat belatedly, Alex smiled at Astra, cursing the part of herself that couldn't stop making these kinds of risk calculations, even on what was supposed to be a happy occasion. Worse, she couldn't even blame Hank and the DEO for that, at least, not entirely.

When Kara first joined the family, Alex hadn't wanted the new responsibility of a weird, clueless, dorky little sister. She hadn't taken it seriously, had pushed Kara away.

But at some point, after... no, maybe it was a bit before Jeremiah died, Eliza had really started to push her to be more responsible. At first, that had just meant taking care of her in public, making sure they both watched their words, that Kara kept her powers in check... but eventually, the tension had come back home, too, because it was a lot, at fourteen or fifteen, and it never seemed like quite enough, not to Eliza. She found herself alternately walking on eggshells or in more rebellious moments, intentionally pressing Eliza's buttons.

Joining the DEO had meant more secrets to keep, even from Kara, who had loved her even when Eliza hadn't. But it had also meant learning how to lie, which made avoiding confrontation a bit easier.

Kara, too, was smiling at Astra, her eyes a bit watery.

"Okay, who's next?" asked Kara, after a moment. "Alex?"

Alex shook her head. She'd have to think of something first, something that didn't sound snarky and bitter. Something other than _I'd like to thank my liver for putting up with me all these years,_ or _I'm grateful to my sister for sticking by me when my mother wouldn't_.

"Winn?"

"Sure." He cleared his throat. "I-"

Kara's phone rang. "Oh, sorry, I'll turn it off. Oh, it's James. I'll make this quick." She left the room in a hurry.

"So, Kara's been talking a lot about this James lately," said Eliza.

"Yup," said Alex. "She sure has."

"What do you know about him?"

_Checking up on Kara's love life? At least that's normal, but sometimes I wish she'd ask me about mine._ "Well... he's James Olsen."

" _The_ James Olsen?" Eliza's eyebrows went up.

"The one and only," said Alex. "He seems nice, but-"

"He's getting back together with his fiancée," interrupted Winn, looking annoyed.

_Right, Winn's little crush. Pity Kara doesn't seem to notice._ "Yeah," said Alex. "Lucy Lane, I think? He seems like a decent guy, though, good to have around."

"You could say that," said Winn.

"So, what were you going to say, before Kara left?"

"Um. Well, I'm also glad to be here tonight, because I don't really do family get-togethers. So this is nice. And I'm grateful that... uh, well, all that Supergirl's doing for the city. And for my friends."

_Now he's done it. Though maybe she'll hold back, with Winn and Astra around..._

"Hmmm," said Eliza. "Astra, what do you think of Supergirl?"

Astra mulled that for a few seconds. "At first I was dubious. She seemed so young and rash. I was sure she would get herself hurt."

Eliza shot Alex a glance, as if to say, 'I told you so'.

"But she is learning quickly, and I realized I had underestimated her. I believe she will do National City proud." It came out almost as a challenge, and she met Eliza's eyes for a moment.

"Hey, what're you talking about?" asked Kara, re-entering the room and plopping back down in her chair.

"Supergirl," said Alex.

"Oh." Kara flushed. Apparently she'd heard the compliment. "So, has everyone said what they're thankful for?"

"I haven't," said Eliza. "Nor has Alex."

"I'll pass," said Alex, who hadn't thought of a single good one, merely a lot of inappropriate ones, a couple of them relating to Astra.

"Fine, then. I'm thankful that I get to be here with my girls today, and meet some of the people in their lives."

Alex's jaw dropped, but she covered it with a little sip of wine. _She's trying. She's really trying. Wait, does she think Kara and Winn are an item?_

Kara smiled at Eliza, then at Alex, a little too smugly.

* * *

 

They made it through dinner without any further major incidents. Then, when it came time to cut the pie, Kara insisted that Alex accompany her into the kitchen, supposedly to help serve it.

"Did Astra really burn herself cooking?" asked Kara in a low voice.

Alex unwrapped the pie. "Yeah."

"And why couldn't you just take that thing off and let her heal?"

Alex stiffened. Kara couldn't really be asking her this mere feet from the dinner table. How was she supposed to explain without letting the cat out of the bag?

"Well?" Kara crossed her arms and glared at Alex.

"Because I don't have a key and it takes about five authorizations and the last time it came off it caused an incident, remember?"

"What are you two whispering about over there?" asked Eliza. "Anything I should know about?"

"Ethics," said Kara grumpily, getting out a knife to cut the chocolate pecan pie.

"Ethics?" asked Eliza, quirking an eyebrow.

"Does anyone else want pumpkin?" asked Alex, desperate to change the subject. Kara was fine with Eliza knowing about the DEO, sure, but Alex was worried that she'd find a way to get mad about it. Or about the fact that Astra, who Eliza still apparently thought Alex was dating, was Kara's aunt.

"Hypothetically," said Kara, "if there was a way to artificially slow someone's healing processes, it would be unethical to use it, right?"

"I'd like pumpkin," said Winn, looking a little overwhelmed.

Astra's eyes widened, seeing where Kara was going with this. She gave a little shake of her head.

"Hypothetically, yes, I suppose," said Eliza, frowning. "But this _is_ all hypothetical, right?"

"You know it's not that simple," muttered Alex, though to be honest, she did feel a bit bad about not letting Astra heal. Not that Astra seemed to mind, particularly—she was tough, even without her powers.

Eliza's frown deepened. "You've actually done it," she guessed. "Something you're working on?"

"Something like that," admitted Alex, plating Winn's pie to avoid Eliza's gaze.

"Then explain to me how it isn't that simple, because it sounds pretty clear-cut to me and just because you aren't a medical doctor doesn't mean you're exempt from research ethics."

Alex sighed, set down the pie knife, ran a hand over her face, and looked at Astra.

Astra nodded.

"Alright, fine. I wasn't sure I wanted to have this conversation, but fine. I don't actually work in a lab. I'm an operative for an organization called the DEO. We monitor alien life here on Earth."

"What." Eliza said it in a tone of cold anger and disbelief. "How could you do this, Alexandra? And what does that have to do with-"

_I don't know why I ever thought this would turn out differently._ "How could I what? Devote my entire life to watching over Kara?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Alex saw Astra stand, something of the anger and pride Alex had sometimes glimpsed in her stance.

"I'm an alien," she said.

Winn's jaw dropped, and Eliza spun.

"My name is Astra In-Ze. I am Kara's aunt."

"Kara's... aunt?" said Eliza faintly, looking completely flabbergasted. "I thought only Kara and her cousin survived."

"Clearly that is not the case," said Astra, "though I do not believe I should tell you any more than that."

"But if you're Kryptonian, then..." Eliza's eyes widened. "They're suppressing your healing abilities somehow. Why?"

"I am wearing a device that temporarily removes all of my powers. They do not trust me."

"They don't trust aliens, no." said Eliza with a bit of a grimace.

_Wait, what?_ "Hold on, did you _know_ about the DEO?"

_Was that expression... pain?_

Eliza glanced at Winn, then at Astra. "Not now."

"Okay, then stop yelling at me for trying to help my sister."

"Just tell me this... is Astra on some kind of parole? Do they have good reason to restrain her?"

_Is she asking out of concern for Astra, or for our safety?_ "Kind of. They have reason to distrust her. I'm not certain it's really necessary, but I can only fight regulations so much without getting myself in serious trouble."

Kara's phone rang again. "Miss Grant has an emergency at the office. I'm gonna go handle it."

_Well, at least she has an out._

"Maybe I should go too?" said Winn, gesturing towards the door.

"No, no," said Eliza. "We'll try to stop fighting, right, Alex?"

"Right." _As long as you keep calling me Alex._ "No one else wants pumpkin?"

"I will try it," said Astra. "I suffered for it, after all."

Alex cut a piece for Astra and one for herself. "Mom? What kind do you want?"

"A little of each, if that's all right with you, dear. It's rare that I get to try anything you made."

"Sure." Sometimes Alex thought she'd rather fight than dance around the subject like this. Fighting was easy, at least in the moment.

"So, if you're Kara's aunt, you must know a lot about Krypton, right? I want to know everything!" That was Winn, of course, unable to further suppress his inner nerd.

"Winn..." said Alex, in a tone of warning. She didn't want him dredging up any unpleasant memories.

"I would prefer not to speak much of myself," said Astra.

"Okay, sorry, I can understand that," said Winn, showing more tact than Alex would have expected. "But are you also related to Superman?"

"Not by blood," said Astra. "My sister married his uncle—Kara's father."

"Hey, could I maybe get some help carrying these over there?" said Alex. "It'd go faster."

"Allow me," said Astra.

"So," said Eliza, as Alex set a plate with small slices of both pies in front of her, "you two made this together?"

"Yes. We haven't tried it yet, but I'm pretty sure it came out okay."

"That's reassuring," said Winn.

"What, has Kara been telling you stories about me?" She feigned anger, glaring at him.

"No, no! Only good stories. She looks up to you!"

She shook her head and handed him some pie. "Don't worry, I'm just playing."

Eliza took a hesitant bite, then smiled. "It's good, Alex."

Alex took a bite of her own slice, trying not to think too deeply about how much she cared about that praise. And the pie _was_ good.

* * *

 

Winn left a few minutes later, once he'd finished his slice of pie. She couldn't blame him—the only person he really knew had left, and even though they weren't actively fighting, it was still awkward.

Almost as soon as the door closed behind him, Alex turned to Eliza. "What _do_ you know about the DEO? And why were you angry to find out I worked there? I'm out there in the field, you know, helping Kara. Isn't that what you want? What Dad would have wanted?"

"Your father-" Eliza puffed herself up as though she were about to argue again, then took and released a big breath, closing her eyes. After a moment, she looked at Alex again, calmer. "I have my reasons, but... Kara needs to hear them too. Preferably just the two of you." She glanced at Astra.

"You don't know me well enough," said Astra. "I understand."

Eliza gazed at her speculatively. "The DEO must have changed, if they're letting aliens they don't trust out into the world now."

"I've only been working there for about two years, so I can't say for sure, but I have heard that we—they used to be more... aggressive, yes."

"Two years? You kept this from me for _two years_?"

"Mom, the DEO is a top secret organization! Officially, we don't even exist! And it seems like you've been keeping secrets from me, too!"

Just then, the power went out. They spent the next few minutes finding and lighting candles, their arguments temporarily pushed aside.

"You're right, I have been keeping secrets." said Eliza, lighting one last candle before sitting down. "But it will have to keep until Kara gets back."

Alex's phone rang. "Danvers."

It was Vasquez. "Agent Danvers, Supergirl just fought a new enemy. We need you back at the DEO."

"Twenty minutes," she said, hanging up. "Um, I have to go in."

"Is it about Kara?"

"I can't talk about it," said Alex, a bit regretfully. "Astra, are you coming?"

"Of course."

* * *

 

When Alex and Astra finally returned to Alex's apartment, it was late and Alex, at least, was completely exhausted, both from her work at the DEO and the tensions and dinner with her mother. She did little more than kick off her shoes before collapsing into bed.

But, perhaps due to her worries about Livewire, she slept lightly. Partway through the night, some small sound had her jerking awake. She sat up in bed, her heart pounding, and after a moment realized there were noises coming from the next room, cries of pain... or fear?

_Astra?_ Cold fear gripped Alex's heart. If Astra was hurt or in pain, and couldn't fight it because of that damn ankle bracelet, Alex didn't know what she would do.

Almost silently, Alex slipped out of bed and retrieved her sidearm, loading it in a few swift movements. She only had ordinary bullets, but it was better than nothing.

She edged over to the door, praying that if there really was an intruder, they wouldn't hear her. She opened the door to the living room, and peered through, leading with her gun.

There was no one in the living room but Astra, still lying on the couch, locked in the throes of some kind of nightmare. Alex breathed a sigh of relief and lowered her gun. But before she could put it away, Astra awoke with a twitch of surprise and looked at her with wide eyes, recoiling as she saw the gun.

"Alex... what?"

"Sorry, sorry, I heard a noise and thought there was an intruder."

Astra nodded, but Alex could still see fear in the tense lines of her body. Whatever she'd dreamed about really had her spooked. Or, well, maybe it was also the gun.

"Hold on a minute." Alex returned to her room, unloaded the gun, and stowed it away, then stepped back into the living room.

Astra was at the sink with a mug, probably full of water, rubbing a hand over her face, as if trying to shake off her drowsiness.

"Were you having a nightmare? Sorry, waking up to a gun can't have helped with that."

"I am not afraid of guns," said Astra.

"Even when you're wearing that thing?" asked Alex, gesturing at the lump of the ankle bracelet under Astra's plaid pajama pants.

"Even then," said Astra. "Death does not scare me."

"What were you dreaming about, then?" Alex joined Astra by the sink, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed loosely over her chest.

Astra was silent for some time, taking little sips of water and gazing at Alex with an intensity that made her a little uncomfortable. When at last she spoke, it was in Kryptonese. <Kara was fighting. Losing badly. I could not protect her.>

<Oh, Astra...> Alex had had that nightmare too, sometimes, or a very similar one.

<I wish I could go in her place.>

<The DEO would never allow it. And Astra, she is just as strong as you are.>

<I am more experienced, a trained warrior. I would stand a better chance.>

<Maybe. I have no desire to lose either one of you.> The words surprised Alex even as she said them, but they were true. Somewhere along the line, Astra had become important to her, beyond their physical attraction, beyond whatever feelings they had that they couldn't afford to acknowledge.

Astra's eyes widened at that.

<I mean it. Can I... do you mind if I... sometimes it helps if, um.> Realizing she was babbling, Alex held out her arms to offer a hug. She wasn't really expecting Astra to take her up on it but after a moment Astra did, setting down the mug and wrapping Alex up in a grip that was more hesitant than it needed to be. Alex put all her strength into it, suspecting Astra needed that, needed something she could feel all the way down to her bones.

Astra's arms tightened around her, her head settling on Alex's shoulder for a moment. <Thank you.>

They held each other for a long moment. Alex, for one, was reluctant to let go, to have to go back to pretending there was nothing between them, aside from their work.

But maybe they didn't have to. Maybe they could figure out how to be friends. Part of her screamed that this was a bad idea, that once she started letting Astra in again she wasn't going to want to let her go. Another part of her didn't want to think about that, not when holding onto Astra was the only thing distracting her from her worries about Kara.

"I don't think either of us wants to be alone tonight," said Alex, pulling away a little.

Astra stiffened, and for a moment Alex thought she might pull away completely. "What are you suggesting?"

"Join me, just for tonight. Sleep in my bed, and I do mean sleep. Let me keep the nightmares away. I'll keep my hands to myself."

For a moment Astra's mask fell away, and Alex caught a glimpse of... something. Loneliness or wistfulness, perhaps. Did Astra want more, too?

"That would not be wise."

"I never said it was wise. But I think... I think we're both too lonely and fucked-up and... and scared to be alone tonight."

"Why are you so kind to me?"

Alex shrugged. "That's probably Kara's fault. I wasn't all that nice before I met her." She grimaced. "I'm still not always that nice."

"You are to me." There was a tension in the air between them, a pull, as though they were about to kiss but no one knew who would start it. But then Astra gave Alex a last squeeze and stepped back. "Okay."

* * *

And so it was that Alex ended up in her bed with the solid warmth of a Kryptonian curled around her once again, trying not to think about how right it felt to lie like this, together, as though they slotted perfectly into the gaps in each others' lives.

And maybe in a kinder world they would have, but this was Alex's world, regimented by the DEO's rules, and all they could have were stolen moments like this and the pretense that none of it mattered.

* * *

 

"Alex, before Kara gets here, I have to ask, what is your relationship with Kara's aunt? I know you said you weren't dating, and that you work together, but..." Eliza sat on Kara's couch, opposite Alex. She didn't look angry, just... concerned.

"With Astra? I probably shouldn't tell you this but... I was the one who found her, around, what... a month, month and a half ago. That is, I was the first person from the DEO to make contact with her, but she had already been on Earth for some time, as you may have guessed. When Kara decided to become Supergirl, Astra worried for her safety, so I convinced her to help us, that it would keep Kara safe. And she has been a great help."

"Wouldn't it be better for her to help in the field, though?"

Alex nodded. "It might. But, as I said, the DEO has reason not to trust her, beyond the fact that she's an alien. She has something of a checkered past, as I understand it. I disagree, but... there's not much I can do, at least not yet."

"So you're coworkers? Friends?"

"Yes. We work very closely together." Alex was glad for Hank's training, which allowed her to keep a straight face as she avoided certain... compromising subjects. She did _not_ want Eliza to know how she'd met Astra. It was bad enough that Kara did.

A knock on the window drew her attention. It was Kara, hovering just outside in her Supergirl costume. She opened the window and landed inside.

"Hi!" said Kara. "Don't mind me, I was just helping the fire department, so I'm going to change."

Alex caught a whiff of smoke as Kara passed.

Kara disappeared into her room, reappearing moments later in more ordinary clothes. Then she dashed into the bathroom, and when she came out, she was still drying her face. "I'm not too late, am I? I know you have to get going soon..."

"It's fine, take your time."

Kara ducked back into the bathroom.

"Okay," she said when she reemerged, "I'm good, I think."

Alex sniffed. "Your hair still smells like smoke, but good enough."

"Come here, you two," said Eliza, standing. She pulled both of them into a tight hug—almost too tight, at least for Alex.

"Even I am finding this grip impressive," said Kara.

Eliza released them at last.

"I am so proud of you," said Eliza to Alex.

"Thank you," said Alex, trying not to get teary-eyed. This was what she'd been wanting for years, just a little praise, a little attention.

"Oh, guys, this is so nice," said Kara.

"I'm proud of you, too, Supergirl, but from what I see there's room for improvement."

"Wow, that was not an unqualified compliment, which is progress for us, but not fun for me."

_About time._ "Well, this is the best day of my life," said Alex, amused.

"I haven't been fair," said Eliza, a little shakily. "I have put a lot on both of you. But there is something I need to tell you. I promised your father I wouldn't, but... you may already have guessed, and if you're going to be working for the DEO you need to know.

Your dad worked for the DEO."

"He what?" asked Alex, flabbergasted.

"Please, Alex, this is already hard enough. He... didn't die in a plane crash. That's what they told me, but I don't trust them. He died working for a man named Hank Henshaw."

_Hank?_ Alex shared a glance with Kara, the new information falling like a weight into her belly. Hank had recruited her. He'd trained her. Sometimes, they'd even fought side by side. But could she trust him, after this?

* * *

 

Alex returned home, her thoughts grim. She'd start investigating during her next shift at the DEO. Kara would help. Maybe she should tell Astra.

Astra looked up as she entered the living room.

"Your mother replied to my text," she said.

"She did? Wait, why do you have her phone number? And what are you even texting her about?"

"I have my ways," said Astra, smug. "I wanted to thank her for all she's done for Kara."

"Oh, that's good," said Alex, unable to really care.

"Are you okay? You seem... sad?"

Alex sighed. _I might as well tell her. It's not like she's particularly fond of Hank._ "I thought my father died in a plane crash. But apparently he disappeared while working for the DEO, and Hank Henshaw probably knows how and why. I've known him for years, Astra! I thought I could trust him."

Astra stood, pulling herself up to her full height, and strode across the room to Alex, her movements as strong and sure as when they'd first met. She put her hands on Alex's shoulders. "Alex, look at me."

Alex met her eyes.

"If you wish, I will help you find out what happened to him. And, if necessary, to see that justice is served."

A shiver went through Alex at the thought of Astra, in effect, swearing vengeance on Alex's enemies, but she knew this was Astra's way... her awkward, alien, warrior way of showing her support, so she just nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :dokhahsh = demon, ghost, phantom (see http://kryptonian.info/doyle/dictionary.html)  
> It seems likely that the Fort Rozz Kryptonians, at least, would use this as a swear word, especially since vrrosh :dokhahsh is the Kryptonese/Kryptonian name for the Phantom Zone.


	11. The Elephant in the Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is jealous when she finds out Astra has plans with someone else, but it’s totally fine. After all, Alex has what may or may not be a date with Vasquez… that is, Susan. So Alex has no reason to be jealous. No reason at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rae/JosieCat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieCat/pseuds/JosieCat) and [Reese/yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/) were there to help me as usual (and enable me in my endless distractability, damn them).

"I think Winn might have a crush on Astra," said Kara.

"On Astra, really?"

"Yeah, he can't stop talking about her. Apparently they've been talking online."

"Huh. Here I thought he had a crush on you. Maybe he finally realized you didn't feel the same. I mean, you don't, right?"

"On me?"

"What, you didn't notice? He's pretty obvious about it sometimes."

"Um, no, no I didn't... but I guess it explains some things. This sucks. How do I tell him I don't want that with him?"

"Just... be honest. And straightforward, but not too blunt, you know? Make sure he understands, but don't rub it in. Though... if he likes Astra now, it might not be a problem anymore."

"Right. Thanks for the advice."

* * *

 

"I'm going for dinner and drinks with Susan tonight," said Alex to her bedroom door as she tugged her polo shirt over her head. "I might be out late, so don't wait up."

"That is fine. I, too, have plans," said Astra from the living room.

_She does?_ "With Kara?"

"No. I believe you said I should get to know other humans. That is what I am doing."

Alex suppressed a stab of jealousy. She had no right to be jealous of whoever Astra was going to hang out with—they weren't a couple, she herself was going out with someone else, and Astra hadn't even indicated that it was a date. "Okay, well, have fun." She unzipped her work pants and dropped them to the floor. After a moment's hesitation she went with something easy, something she felt comfortable in. Susan seemed interested, but unless Alex had read her wrong, this wasn't a fancy evening, it was a casual date to get to know someone she worked with.

Besides, Alex could do formal (and she could definitely appreciate formal on someone else) but she didn't enjoy wearing fancy dresses.

So instead, she picked out her best, most ass-hugging dark jeans, a low-cut burgundy top, and her trusty black leather jacket.

When she emerged into the living room, she saw that Astra had changed as well, but was dressed even less formally, if anything—Space Invaders t-shirt ( _Really? And where did she even get it?_ ) and black corduroy.

"I recognize that jacket," said Astra.

Alex had worn it the night they'd met. "I _don't_ recognize that shirt."

Astra looked down. "Oh. Kara said it was, what is the word... nerdy? And we are going to see a nerdy movie, so it seemed appropriate."

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. _Kara. Of course._ "I'm going to kick her ass."

"What? Why? Is it... inappropriate?"

"It's from an old video game where you shoot aliens. It's called Space Invaders. So an alien wearing it is... Kara's idea of a joke, I guess."

Astra plucked at it. "I am not sure I appreciate the joke. Humans distrust us enough already, without making video games about it."

"Listen, you're not going to get an argument from me there, but the game's older than I am—it was made well before Superman made his debut—way before we knew for certain that we weren't alone in the universe. And as alien-shooting games go, it's pretty harmless. I mean, that thing on your shirt is one of the aliens. It looks exactly like that in the game."

Astra inspected it again. "It looks nothing like any creature I have ever seen."

"You see? So, you're going to see a movie?"

"Yes. Dinner and a movie." Astra smiled, self-satisfied.

That was starting to sound more and more like a date. Alex reminded herself not to be jealous, but she wasn't sure it worked.

Alex popped into the bathroom before she could think about it too much. She put a little extra effort into her hair but kept her makeup simple.

"You look nice," said Astra as Alex emerged from the bathroom. "Are you trying to impress Agent Vasquez?"

Ooh, is she jealous? "Maybe. And who are you going to the movies with? Anyone I know?" Alex couldn't think who it might be—Astra was hardly close to any of the other DEO agents. If anything, those she spoke with the most regularly were probably Hank and Susan, and there was no way it was either of them.

Astra simply shrugged.

"Fine, be mysterious." Alex checked the time on her watch. "I'll be off. See you later."

* * *

Susan looked Alex up and down appreciatively as Alex entered the pub. Alex couldn't help but return the favor. She'd half expected something girly, like the flowy blouses Susan occasionally wore at work, but instead she wore a tank that showed off her tattoos to good effect. Alex had caught glimpses of them in the locker room before, but hadn't allowed herself to stare.

Susan had picked a pub known for its burgers and its beer. Not one of Alex's usual haunts—she usually picked one of a couple of bars in her neighborhood, for convenience, or one of the gay and lesbian bars, for the girls—but she didn't think she'd mind it. The walls were mostly covered in wood paneling—the interior designer had clearly been trying to evoke an old-world feel—and this early in the night it was calm and fairly clean still, the music low. She wouldn't be surprised if they went somewhere else to dance afterwards.

"Like what you see?" asked Susan, smiling.

"I've never given your tattoos the appreciation they deserve," said Alex.

"My tattoos, or my arms?"

"Both," said Alex, with an appreciative glance at the vine that wrapped around Susan's right bicep.

"Well, tonight you can look all you want."

_This is nice_ , decided Alex, looking up as a waiter deposited menus on their table. Going out with a attractive woman—an attractive human woman—someone she could let herself like without worrying about the consequences. Sure, the DEO had rules about dating fellow agents, but only relationships between agents and their direct superiors or partners were forbidden. If they decided to keep dating, they'd have to tell Hank eventually, and it would affect future team assignments, but it wouldn't put her loyalty to the DEO in question the way dating Astra, alien ex-con and very probationary consultant that she was, would.

Alex pushed thoughts of Astra from her mind and focused on the menu. "Any recommendations? You've been here before, right?"

"Well, all of the burgers are good... sometimes I get the bacon cheeseburger."

"I don't eat pork," said Alex absently.

"But you do eat meat, right? I mean, I've heard the veggie burger is pretty decent but I'd have picked someplace else if..."

"Don't worry, I eat meat, just not pork. Hamburgers are fine. Have you tried the onion rings?"

"They're pretty good, but I usually get the thin fries. Are you Jewish or something? I don't mean to pry but I got the impression you weren't religious..."

"I am Jewish, and I'm not all that religious. It's complicated." Alex looked up at the menu and met Susan's eyes. "Something to know about Jewish people—it's often complicated."

"Gotcha. You don't have to get into it if you don't want to."

"It's not a big secret, but I'd rather know something about you. What do you do for fun? Why'd you get into this line of work? Something like that."

"Not much but sleep—you know what the hours are like."

Alex laughed at that. She loved her work, but there were definitely times when she didn't like the long and somewhat unpredictable hours.

"But I used to be a ham radio operator."

"Ham radio?" That was an unusual hobby. Not that she was judging—she'd done weirder things for fun herself.

"Yep. It was fun—talking with people all over the place. And back in college I used to windsurf, sometimes."

Now that, Alex could see. In fact, she'd like to watch Susan surf one of these days. "You went to UC National City, right?"

"Right. You were at... Stanford, I think?"

"Stanford grad, Cal undergrad." Good schools, and more importantly at first, just far enough away from Midvale, but not too far away. She'd have stayed closer, for Kara's sake—Cal Poly, maybe—but her relationship with Eliza had hit an all-time low in high school.

"It's weird, we know a lot about each other, but not the important things."

"You know about me and Kara," countered Alex. "That's pretty important. Not a lot of people know that."

"I think anyone who saw you two together would know how important she is to you."

"Yes, but most people—outside of work—don't know who she is, exactly. Why I've had to protect her."

"Even though she's tough."

Alex nodded. "She is. She's so strong and yet... it hasn't hardened her. I don't know how she does it, but I'm glad that she does."

Susan nodded. "I like her."

The waiter came along to take their order and collect the menus. When he had left, Alex turned to Susan again.

"You don't seem to distrust aliens as much as some of the others."

Susan shrugged. "I try to judge people on their merits. Most of the aliens I've met haven't been all that friendly but that's in the nature of the job. Maybe someday we'll make contact with actual alien civilizations. I'd like that."

"Hmmm. Star Trek fan?"

She grinned. "Jadzia Dax was my first crush."

"Can't blame you for that, though I was more of a Star Wars kid."

"Princess Leia or Queen Amidala?"

"Is it weird if I say both? Rey's pretty cute too."

"Not at all. But here I thought maybe you had a thing for aliens."

"What, Astra again? There's nothing between us." Well, maybe that was kind of a lie. But there wasn't _officially_ anything between them.

"And yet I didn't even have to mention her by name for you to think of her."

"Well, like you said, most of the aliens we meet aren't that friendly. Or, frankly, humanlike enough to be attractive."

"Hmmm. There's that, what's her name, Maxima."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "She's good-looking, I'll give you that, but what a nasty personality. Way too pushy, even if she wasn't a criminal."

"True." Susan mulled it for a few moments. "Sorry, I guess I'm not being fair. You're here with me, not her, after all."

"Hey, it's okay." _Can't really blame her when I got jealous myself, earlier._

The waiter appeared with their beers, setting them down on the table between them.

Alex took a sip of hers. She'd picked something familiar—a microbrewery ale from not far north of Midvale. It was exactly as she'd remembered—not too bitter, with slight citrus notes. Always a safe choice. Susan had picked something much darker—a stout, probably. Alex hadn't really been paying attention.

"So, um, I get that you're not really out at work but what about family? Friends?"

"I don't exactly have a lot of those. But Kara knows, and Mom, and Astra, and a few of my friends from college and grad school. Not that I talk to them all that often."

"Work kind of destroys your social life, doesn't it?"

Alex shrugged. She'd been in a pretty bad place when Hank had recruited her, and had already driven some of her friends away. "Do your folks know? That you're into girls, I mean."

Susan nodded. "My folks weren't thrilled, I guess, but my brother told them they were being silly... well, that definitely wasn't the word he used. But he got them off my back, and it's fine now."

"I can relate to that. Kara's always running interference between Mom and I... not very successfully, in general."

Susan shook her head. "I can't really picture that."

"That's right, you've never seen her, uh..."

"Out of uniform," supplied Susan.

"Yeah. She's pretty different, let me tell you." But to Alex, the real Kara wasn't just Supergirl or the nervous CatCo employee, she was also the scared little girl that Superman had left at their house... and eventually, Alex's bratty kid sister, who still threatened to melt her face over pot stickers.

"I just realized something. She got her swagger from you."

"She what? I always thought she was copying her cousin."

"For the dorky poses? Absolutely. But the walk? That's all you."

"Huh." Alex had never noticed.

"She must look up to you."

"Probably." But Alex had a hard time believing she deserved it, especially with all the lies she'd told in the last couple of years, all that she was hiding, even now.

"Hey." Susan laid her hand across Alex's on the table, causing Alex to look up and meet her eyes. "You're a good agent—if I ever went on a field mission I'd be glad to have you at my back. You're a good person—more compassionate towards aliens than most of them really deserve. And from what I can tell you're a good sister. Why are you so hard on yourself?"

Alex didn't really have a response for that. What she did have, though, were her instincts, which were telling her to lean over the table and kiss Susan on the lips.

So that's what she did, leaning in slowly, to give her time to get away. To push Alex away, even though Susan was the one who had wanted this kind-of-sort-of date in the first place.

But Susan didn't, and her lips against Alex's were soft, responsive, and Alex could taste the beer on her, mildly bitter. It was good, good to be wanted and to be able to return that feeling openly, to kiss without being afraid of the consequences (as much as she ever could, with the possibility of rejection or homophobic jeers looming over her), good to want someone she was _allowed_ to want.

Alex's stomach rumbled, and she broke off the kiss with a rueful smile. "Sorry. I may have accidentally skipped lunch today."

"How do you _accidentally_ skip lunch when your lab assistant... uh, eats as much as she does?"

"Now you're the one bringing her up."

"Sorry, sorry. You just spend so much time in that lab together."

"Jealous? Want to take her place? Or maybe you'd rather be a test subject?" Alex took another swig of her beer, noting that the glass was almost half empty. She'd been trying to pace herself, but that wasn't really her strong suit. Still, it was just beer—she wasn't really feeling it yet.

"I wasn't aware you experimented on humans," said Susan, leaning in closer.

"Not usually, but I'm sure I could make an exception."

Their food arrived, interrupting the flirting before they could get any further, and Alex dove in, feeling like she could almost keep up with a Kryptonian as she bit off chunks of burger.

"Wow," said Vasquez. "You must be hungry."

"Sorry." Alex wiped sauce and meat juices from her chin. "I've been told I eat like I was raised by wolves."

"Hey, I didn't ask you out thinking you were some kind of finishing school graduate."

"That's what I like about dating girls—I get to be a real person, not a cardboard cutout of a pretty woman." To be fair, not all the guys Alex had dated had actually expected that of her, but on the first date she always felt like she had to put up a front, and she'd kind of hated it. It had taken her years to realize that part of the reason she hated it was because she wasn't that into men in the first place.

"To girls," said Susan, raising her glass.

"To girls!" said Alex, clinking glasses with Susan.

* * *

 

They moved to another bar after dinner. Alex found herself reaching for her phone, checking for messages from Astra or Kara.

"Old habits," she said by way of explanation, putting her phone away.

"Hey, it's okay. Waiting for a message?"

Alex shrugged. "Not particularly, beyond the usual always on call thing."

Susan nodded. "It'd be nice if National City could be quiet for once."

* * *

 

Several shots later (Alex had lost count of the exact number) Alex was feeling good, Susan's arm slung low around her waist, Susan's breath hot on her neck, the thump of the music in her blood, pounding along her bones. She let her head fall back as Susan kissed her just below one ear, hot and wet and needy.

Susan pulled her in for another kiss, this time on the lips, and Alex pushed against her, the throbbing in her veins shifting between her legs, desire pulsing even behind the fog of alcohol.

"Want to go back to my place?" asked Susan, right into her ear, during a lull in the music.

It was tempting, it really was. But there was a reason she shouldn't just accept. What was it? Oh, right.

Alex stepped back, leading Susan off of the dance floor, then tried to explain.

"You're... really hot. And I like you," said Alex.

Susan's eyes narrowed. "And you're... a lot drunker than I thought."

"But I should be..." Alex was having trouble concentrating. "Honest with you. _Because_ I like you."

"Do you have a point?" asked Susan, visibly amused. "I told you to stop drinking, you know."

"I'm... fine. Point is... 'm not seeing Astra. But!" Alex raised a finger to illustrate her point. How very... Kara.

"But?" Susan frowned.

"But I did... sleep with her. Once."

"You what?" Susan took a half-step back and crossed her arms. "Does Director Henshaw know?"

Alex wobbled a little. "Never know what he knows... is crafty. Eyes everywhere, know what I mean?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get that feeling sometimes. But you haven't told him? And doesn't that affect your working relationship? According to protocol-"

"We weren't working together yet. Didn't even know she was an alien. Picked her up in a bar." Alex frowned at Susan, wagging a finger in warning. "Don't tell."

"Oh, lord." Susan rolled her eyes. "I knew you were a mess, but this is ridiculous. You're still hung up on her, aren't you?"

Alex shouldn't tell her, really, shouldn't have told her any of this, but... "...maybe."

Susan put an arm around her shoulders and steered her towards the door. "Come on, I'm taking you home. To your place."

"But..." Alex was still having a good time, with the dancing, and the pleasant buzz... well, blur... in her head.

"No buts. You're going home, and no more drinking, all right? You need to sober up and get yourself figured out."

"...I _do_ like you, though." She should have kept her mouth shut and gone with Susan.

"You said that."

"We were going to... try to get over it. Meet other people." Alex frowned. "She went to the movies with someone tonight. Don't know who."

"Well, I don't think you're ready to be dating anyone else yet. And I don't want to be with you when you'd rather be with someone else."

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later, give or take, Susan helped Alex up the stairs to her apartment. Alex's head had cleared a little, and when they reached Alex's floor she stopped and turned towards Susan. "I'm sorry. You're being so nice and you deserve better than me."

"Don't you start again. This isn't about you not being good enough, this is about you getting your priorities straight."

"Straight?" Alex snorted. She'd gotten herself into this mess precisely by not being straight. At all.

"You know what I mean."

"Thanks for the ride. I'll see you... uh, when's your next shift?" Not that it didn't hurt that Susan was leaving, but Alex was trying to make the best of it.

"Sunday."

"See you Sunday, then." Alex fumbled with her keys and opened the door, slipping quietly inside.

Well, she was trying to be quiet, but she shut the door a bit loudly, and when she looked up Astra was glaring at her. She looked as frustrated as Alex felt, and had changed out of her Space Invaders shirt.

"What's the matter? Didn't have fun on your little date?" asked Alex. Perversely, she hoped Astra had had a lousy night.

"What about you? I heard Vasquez in the hallway."

"No luck there. _Apparently_ I need to stop drinking and get my head on straight." Alex was tempted to bring out the whiskey. Very tempted. But she knew Astra would disapprove.

Sometimes she hated having a roommate.

"She rejected you?" Astra's expression was unreadable, which meant, of course, that she was hiding her reaction.

"Well... kind of. I may have told her about sleeping with you."

Astra's eyebrows shot up. "But if she tells Henshaw..."

"Yes, he'll have to reprimand me. Probably find you a different handler." Alex rubbed her face with one hand. "I was drunk, okay? But I don't think she'll tell him."

"You are still drunk," declared Astra with a note of disapproval.

Alex ignored that. "And you? How was Princess... or Prince... Charming?"

"I ate... burritos? Yes, burritos. With Winn. And then we saw a movie."

"Winn? As in... Kara's friend Winn?" Was Kara right? Had he made a move? Or tried to? Or had Alex misunderstood somehow? Her head was still pretty fuzzy.

Astra nodded. "I am not certain if he intended the evening to be romantic, but I made my disinterest clear. The problem was his choice of movie. It was what you call 'science fiction'." She said that last with a bit of a grimace, as though she'd smelled something unpleasant.

"Not a fan?" Alex settled on pouring herself some water in an attempt to sober up.

"The so-called science was absolute rubbish, and the depiction of aliens offensive, to say the least! I would have expected greater sensitivity from one of Kara's friends."

Alex snorted. "Yeah, Winn's kind of... how should I put this... he's not a bad guy, but sometimes he's a bit clueless. And he's definitely a huge nerd. Did you know he writes for some alien conspiracy theory website? Or he used to, anyway. Not sure if he does anymore."

"What, 'aliens built the pyramids'? Humans seem to think we have nothing better to do than meddle in your affairs."

Alex tilted her head to one side. "Isn't that kind of... exactly what you've been doing, though?"

Astra didn't have an answer to that, and Alex went to bed thinking that at least she'd done one thing right that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week on Small Worlds: plot! Lucy Lane appears! Max Lord is Max Lord! And that's terrible.


	12. Love and Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Astra continue to dance around their mutual attraction as they grow increasingly suspicious of both Hank Henshaw and Maxwell Lord. Alex meets Lucy Lane for the first time and worries about Kara's anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks [Rae/JosieCat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieCat/pseuds/JosieCat) and [Reese/yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/) for your help, and as always, thanks to everyone who's still (!) reading this and especially to those who've commented.
> 
> Those of you who follow my tumblr know this, but I recently realized that, although I've written a number of original novels and at least one other fic around 50,000 words, this is by far the longest one that I've actually posted, and is shaping up to be the longest story I've written, period. I couldn't have gotten this far without the support of both the Supergirl fandom and my online writing community at Milk Wood Writers' Colony in Second Life.

Alex and Astra sat in the front seat of a red convertible, on a cliff overlooking a beach. It might have been one of the beaches north of Midvale, Alex's childhood haunts, and yet... the sand was too white, the water too clear, the vibrant blue-green of travel brochures, and the sky was... the sky was incredible. The Milky Way, _la Voie lactée, zhiutidh_ , cut through the middle of the sky, brighter even than the way she'd seen it at Lick Observatory in the freshman-level astronomy class she'd taken for kicks. And the constellations... she knew enough of astronomy to know that they were wrong, as though someone had taken the stars and shuffled them, all of them in new places.

And yet... their names were on the tip of her tongue. Strange yet familiar names, deities and animals: _Telle, Cythonna, Kara, Lorra, Mordo, Ukhirghim, Zuurt._

The crash of the waves was distant, more so, perhaps, than it should have been. Alex felt like she was floating, easy, natural, comfortable. As she turned to meet Astra's eyes, she felt eternity stretch itself out before her, like a promise. This was inevitable. This was true.

They should have done this much, much sooner.

Alex didn't hesitate—she didn't need to. Not anymore. She reached out, ran her fingers down the smooth skin of Astra's neck, leaned over and planted a kiss there, drawing a moan that ignited Alex's whole being. As her fingers dipped lower, they didn't, as she had expected, catch on a collar or slide over cloth. Instead they slipped easily over bare flesh, down over the swell of a breast, over the muscles of Astra's abdomen.

Alex moved easily—too easily—to straddle Astra, and that should have clued her in to what was happening, even if the unreality of the sea, of the sky hadn't, but she was too caught up in the moment, in reaching into the wetness between Astra's legs, in Astra's lips, hot and needy against her throat, in Astra's fingers, moving right where she needed them, in the pleasure building inside her.

"Alex!" cried Astra, and the car shook, like an earthquake

* * *

 

"Alex!"

Alex blinked as the world shook.

Actually, she was the only one shaking, Astra's hand on her shoulder. She leaned over Alex, barely visible in the darkened room.

"Astra?" It came out sounding huskier than intended, her voice still thick with sleep and arousal, the blood still pounding in the most intimate parts of her body, and she had to tell herself it hadn't been real.

_Why did she have to wake me up?_

"I- I thought that you were having a nightmare. Was I wrong?"

Alex momentarily considered pretending it really had been a bad dream, that she needed the comfort of Astra's touch, but would Alex be able to resist the urge to touch her, when she was that close and Alex was this turned on? Would Alex be able to get to sleep like that?

Would Astra see right through it? Would she go along with it, even if she did?

"You were wrong," said Alex at last, rolling over on her side so that Astra's hand fell from her shoulder. "Go back to bed, General."

If Astra would just leave, maybe Alex could go back to sleep. Or do something about the throbbing between her legs and _then_ go back to sleep.

Or maybe lie in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about what she couldn't have, but in any case it would be better than trying to carry on a normal conversation in the middle of the night when she'd just been shaken awake by the woman she'd been dreaming about fucking...

"Very well," said Astra. "Good night, Agent Danvers."

With that, she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Alex rolled onto her back with a muffled groan, and stared at the ceiling until her eyes grew heavy and she drifted back off to sleep.

* * *

 

"If I were following you, Miss Danvers, you would never know about it," said Hank, looking down at what was left of the drone. "This is not one of ours."

"Then whose is it?" asked Kara, still visibly annoyed, her arms crossed.

Alex took the drone from Hank and turned it over in her hands. "There's no markings... I've never seen tech like this before."

"Alien origin? Your uncle Non, perhaps?" said Hank.

Astra scoffed at that, peering down at the drone. "Hardly. I would know if it were one of... his. Besides, what need would he have to watch you? He must have guessed your identity the moment you put on that crest."

"No, it's definitely from Earth, but it's incredibly advanced," agreed Alex.

* * *

 

Really, Alex shouldn't be at Lord Technologies—if not for the drone following Kara, this would have been a job for the FBI. And if Alex hadn't been here, Supergirl probably wouldn't have gotten involved.

And then there'd be a huge crater smack dab in the middle of National City, with the smoking remains of one Maxwell Lord right in the middle of it. It was selfish as hell, but Alex would almost have preferred that to this—to Kara flying off to what might very well be her death.

Off Kara flew with the bomb, as though confident it couldn't hurt her. She might as well have been Icarus, flying on wings of wax. What was it about these Kryptonians that made Alex think in terms of half-remembered myths? Or maybe it was just Kara and Astra—Alex had certainly never had any poetic thoughts about Non or any of his goons...

Alex's heart just about stopped when Kara's com went dead. What if she had waited too long to chuck the bomb? What if the explosion was too much, even with her powers? She waited with bated breath for news to come in, trying not to show Lord how much it bothered her.

"Her tracker's still live, sir, ma'am," said Susan after a few agonizing moments. "She's in the bay. Not moving, and I can't raise her com."

"Assemble a team," said Hank, and Alex only half listened, not wanting to react in front of Maxwell Lord. She couldn't afford for him to know that she was close to Supergirl.

She returned to the DEO in a hurry. When she got there, Astra and Hank were in the infirmary, where Kara lay unconscious on her sunbed. Kara stirred as Astra brushed her hair, still damp with seawater, back from her face, her movements so slow and tender that Alex almost felt like she was intruding.

Kara's eyes fluttered open and she sat up with a grimace, swinging her legs off the edge of the bed. Astra put one arm behind her, supporting her.

"Kara?" asked Alex, still unable to relax until she confirmed for herself that her sister was okay. She pushed past Astra to hug Kara, feeling herself relax at last. "I was so scared. Are you okay?"

Kara nodded, and Alex stepped back, giving Astra a turn as well.

Astra whispered something in Kara's ear, but Alex turned away, trying not to listen in.

"I'm fine," said Kara, as Astra let her go at last. "Thanks to the boss."

"If I let you drown, I'd never hear the end of it from these two," said Hank.

* * *

 

Later, when Kara had rushed off to work again, Astra pulled Alex aside in the lab they shared. It was increasingly looking like _their_ lab, Astra having added a few odds and ends of her own—her notebook, a mug of her own (plain black, from the dollar store), and a tackle box she used to store the bits and pieces of a project she was working on.

"Did you know he allowed me to go with the retrieval team?" she asked.

"He didn't." She couldn't believe it of Hank, stickler for rules that he normally was.

"He did, though I was not permitted to actually help."

"Huh. He's beginning to trust you. That's good. We can work with that. We might get that monitor off you yet."

"But can _we_ trust _him_?" wondered Astra.

"We have to." _He can't have anything to do with my dad's death. He can't._

* * *

 

"New plan. You take the airport, I've got the train."

The moment Kara finished talking, Alex was in motion, heading for the DEO garage. Stopping human bombers might not be part of the DEO's normal mandate, but failure wasn't an option. Astra followed her.

"Let me come with you. Even without my powers, I-"

"You're not cleared for it, and you don't know our procedures," said Alex, checking her sidearm. "I don't doubt your abilities but-"

"Then-" Astra hugged her, hard, just inside the garage. <Come back to me. Swear you will.>

When Astra stepped away, her eyes were suspiciously shiny, but she turned so that her hair fell over her face before Alex could see. <Swear it.>

<I...> This felt strangely ritualistic, heavy, something Alex didn't know the protocol for. <If I can.>

And then she got into the car with Hank, leaving Astra behind.

* * *

 

"Get yourself clear," said Hank, and Alex's world ground to a halt.

"Me? What are you going to do? Hank, no." She'd never thought she'd lose him, her mentor since she started at the DEO, the man who'd given her a renewed sense of purpose after her life had spiraled out of control in grad school. She'd worried about losing Kara or Eliza or even Astra, one way or another, but Hank? He'd seemed... not immortal, but inevitable. Even with all her suspicions, she couldn't just lose him. She flashed back to Astra's shadowed face, back at the DEO. _Swear you'll come back to me._

"I gave you an order."

"I-" she didn't have the words to convince him to save himself.

"I said... go!"

She stared at him for a moment, then ran.

* * *

 

She met up with another DEO agent outside the airport.

"He's not gonna make it, is he?"

 _He probably won't,_ thought Alex. "Just take cover."

But then, a moment later, Hank appeared, carrying the bomb, and cheers erupted around them.

Alex wanted to celebrate, but she didn't understand.

"How did you-"

"It was a dud. A decoy, to lure us away from the real bomb."

Hank kept walking, carrying the bomb to the car. Alex just frowned at him. _A dud? That makes no sense. Why would the bomber bother with a dud?_

* * *

 

"You came back," said Astra as Alex got out of the car. She didn't offer a hug this time, merely gave Alex's shoulder a squeeze, almost as though reassuring herself that Alex was still there.

"The bomb was a dud, apparently. A decoy. But I'm going to pull it apart anyway. Coming?"

"Of course."

"What was that, when I left?"

"If I lose you, I'm at the mercy of Henshaw, who barely trusts me. If I lose you both, I have no idea what will become of me."

"Kara wouldn't let anyone harm you."

"If she could prevent it," countered Astra. "She is just as easily contained as I am."

"You were worried about me. Not because of my role at the DEO, but _me_." _Admit it. Come on, just say it._

"No, I was merely-"

"Sure." As much as Alex needed that confirmation, that she was needed, that she was valued, she hated how vulnerable, how weak that need made her feel. So she wouldn't press it anymore.

Astra looked at her for a long moment. <Oh, very well. Yes, I worry about you. Are you satisfied?>

_Not really, but it'll do._

* * *

 

Alex set the remains of the airport bomb aside, still unsure what to make of it. It was a dud—clearly—but it just as clearly hadn't been meant as one. Was it possible the bomber had made a mistake?

Possible? Yes. Likely? No.

She turned to see what Astra was doing. She'd been tinkering on some project in spare moments for a few days at least, but Alex had never been able to make sense of what it was. She'd sworn, though, that it would help the DEO, and Alex had decided to trust her on that.

"Still not going to tell me what that is?" asked Alex, as Astra shut the lid on the box of electronic odds and ends.

"Soon, I promise," said Astra. "When it is done."

* * *

 

"Alex, what are you doing here?" demanded Kara. Then, in a lower voice, she added, "What is _Astra_ doing here?"

At that moment, several paces away, Astra was inspecting the eye-burningly pink cat statue that stood near the elevators. Alex had let her borrow a gray blazer, and she looked downright professional—the sort of person who might have legitimate business here at CatCo. But that's not what Kara was asking.

"I need to talk about my dad."

* * *

 

"Winn, we need your help."

"To break into the DEO mainframe? That's not help, that's treason."

"It's not treason if I do it," said Astra. "Since I am not American."

"No, but it's still illegal," said Alex. "Wait, can you? Why didn't you say something sooner?" _That would have saved a lot of trouble._

"You failed to mention why we were coming here. As to whether or not I can do it... our attempts to hack into your computers met with only partial success, and I was not alone on those occasions. However, my understanding of your technology has improved since then. I am not certain I would succeed, but I can certainly try."

"Good! Because I'm not doing it. Not even for Kara, for whom I would do anything..." said Winn.

"It's about her dad..." said Kara.

* * *

 

By the time Hank called, Winn had agreed, albeit reluctantly.

"He has not requested by presence, has he?" asked Astra. "In that case, I will remain here and assist Winn, if that is agreeable."

"Fine by me!" said Winn. "But we're going down to the supersquad room."

"The what?"

"Come on, I'll show you."

* * *

 

Alex noticed Kara's surprise as the short woman joined General Lane, even if no one else did. Alex gave the woman a quick once-over. Young, but she was a JAG, a major at that. Smart, then. She'd earned herself a few medals, nothing overly unusual but clearly she had a good service record. Good physical condition, not intimidated by the clear hostility between Hank and General Lane, nor by Supergirl. _Interesting._ It was almost a pity Astra wasn't there—Alex would have like to see those two stare each other down.

She was also attractive, even with a severe expression on her face, but Alex wasn't about to let that sway her opinion.

"She has no choice," said the woman. "We have an executive order forcing you to comply."

Alex's feelings towards the woman solidified into something approaching dislike. _She's going to be a pain._

"My legal attachée and my daughter, Major Lane."

_Ah, Lucy Lane. That explains Kara's reaction._

"It's been signed by the President," continued Lucy. "You can take it up with her if you like. Unless you don't think you're up to it."

"I'll do it," said Kara, too quickly.

 _She's letting her feelings for James get in the way of her better judgment_ , realized Alex. "Supergirl, you don't have to."

"I agree with Agent Danvers," said Hank.

* * *

 

Astra asked for the day of the robot fight off, and got it, on the condition that she stay in National City and far away from her former allies. She'd spend the day helping Winn instead, not that Hank needed to know that. Alex somewhat suspected that he'd wanted to keep Astra out of his hair (such as it was) and away from General Lane.

If so, Alex agreed with the sentiment. Those two wouldn't so much be oil and water as water on a grease fire—a good recipe for an explosion.

No, the less Lane knew about Astra, the better.

* * *

 

"I don't say this often, but I am craving a good fight right now," said Kara, arms firmly crossed over her chest.

 _That's not good._ Alex had learned the consequences of letting her temper get the best of her early on at the DEO. She'd had a lot of anger in her then, a lot of hurt, especially once she'd cut back on the booze and had to deal with it all. "Just keep your cool. You got this." She gave Kara a pat on the arm, then joined the others in the tent.

In spite of her bravado, Alex watched the fight with a certain sense of trepidation. She knew almost nothing about Morrow's robot, and little more about Morrow himself. Plus, Kara was in the kind of mindset that lead to sloppy fighting. In training, that'd gotten Alex reprimands and a few bruises, and a sprain on one occasion. But this was for real, with live weapons.

She watched with mixed pride and relief as Kara recovered from the robot's blast of wind and dodged its missiles. Diving underground was showboating, a trick she'd probably picked up from her cousin, but it worked, and Kara closed the distance with Red Tornado, hitting it with blow after earthshaking blow.

"It's experiencing system damage," said Morrow, tapping at his tablet. "The test is over. Pull the plug. Now."

Alex spoke into her com. "Supergirl. You won."

But Kara didn't stop.

"Supergirl, stand down," said Hank. "That's enough."

At that, Kara did stop, at last. But the robot didn't, disappearing into the sky.

Alex ran to her sister, reaching for her arm. "Are you hurt?"

"No," said Kara, anger still radiating from the tense lines of her shoulders, the muscles under her suit tight, steely, not the careful softness that Alex had grown up with.

What was it that had her this worked up? The situation with James and Lucy? Something at work?

Alex didn't blame Kara—she couldn't have known this would happen, and it was irresponsible of Morrow and Lane not to install a failsafe to prevent something like this from occurring—but she worried about her.

* * *

 

Alex was in a bad mood when she got back from Lord Technologies.

"Ugh, I hate talking to that guy. It always feels like he's hitting on me. And he wouldn't even help."

"The more you talk about him, the more I dislike him," said Astra. "And I was not kindly disposed towards him to begin with."

That didn't surprise Alex one bit. "No? Let me guess, the anti-alien rhetoric?"

Astra nodded. "There is that. But beyond that, the man is a waste."

"A waste?"

"Of talent, energy. He is brilliant, determined, wealthy—the sort of person who could do much good—but he wastes it on bigotry and self-promotion. And yet it seems he believes himself to be in the right, in spite of it all."

"All I know is he gives me the creeps."

"Your instincts are good," said Astra. "I would follow them, in your place. Call on his help as little as possible, and distrust any offer he makes."

* * *

 

Astra stayed in the lab while General Lane lurked in the command center. Since Lane wasn't officially part of the DEO, he didn't have full access to their files, so he probably didn't know about the presence of a Kryptonian consultant. Still, Alex had judged it best to keep the two of them apart if at all possible.

* * *

 

"You don't have to throw your life away," said Alex, keeping her gun trained on Dr. Morrow. She didn't want to have to kill him. It wasn't as though she particularly liked the guy, but she'd talked with him, worked with him. Maybe she could talk him out of this.

It was that indecision that let him get the first hit in. "The Red Tornado _is_ my life!"

* * *

 

Alex had miscalculated. Morrow was _good_. She knocked his weapon from his hand and he hit her with a kick that sent her sprawling.

She lunged for her gun before he could, and he grabbed her, trying to wrest it from her grasp. An elbow to his face, a spin and-

BANG!

T. O. Morrow slumped to the ground, dead. She'd killed him. Exactly as she'd been trained to do, she'd killed him, shot him dead.

To protect herself. To protect Kara, and the people of National City.

And, with a certain reluctance, General Lane.

She'd done her duty. She'd do it again. But she didn't feel proud of it.

"You did it," said Kara in her ear.

She'd done it, all right.

But after a moment, Kara added, "It's still going."

Alex rushed to the computers. "No commands are being transmitted to the android. Kara, it's become sentient."

After all that, killing him hadn't even ended it.

* * *

 

Kara didn't connect the dots, Alex could tell. If Red Tornado had been sentient, and if Kara had damaged it beyond repair... she'd killed it. Her first kill.

No, Red Tornado hadn't been human. Or even, arguably, alive. And she'd killed it in self-defense, and for the greater good.

Fully justified.

But Kara would probably be devastated if she realized it, so Alex didn't say anything.

* * *

 

Alex stood in front of her locker, her mind a blank. On some level, she knew she should be opening it, should be changing out of her sweaty DEO gear and back into civilian clothes. Taking a shower, maybe? But there didn't seem to be a point to it and for seconds or maybe minutes she couldn't work up the motivation.

A hand on her shoulder drew her attention.

"Alex? Are you alright?"

It was Astra, of course. When had Astra become 'of course'?

Alex blinked and fumbled with the lock. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

Alex finally got her locker open. "Maybe I'm not."

"Is it because you killed your first human today?"

"I don't know." Alex pulled down her other shoes, trying not to let her hands shake. "It's also the first time I've killed someone I actually knew." _Someone I thought I might be able to save._

"True. But I would be a hypocrite to judge you for putting your own species first, if indeed that is the case."

"I put Kara first. She's not human." Alex yanked off her shirt, not looking at Astra. _I could never think less of Kara, less of Kryptonians. Other aliens, though... she might be right._

"She is your sister, however. It is understandable if you think of her differently. But... I am sorry. I am not here to make you doubt yourself. You did the right thing today, but killing is not easy. It should not be."

"You know what scares me? You know what _terrifies_ me?"

"What?"

"Not just the thought that Kara might have to kill, someday... but that she might not be able to, when it comes down to it. Even if it's her own life on the line." Alex pulled down her dirty pants and stepped out of them, so that she stood in her underwear.

"Kara is a survivor, is she not?"

"She is, but..." Alex looked down at her bra, then shrugged to herself before putting on a clean shirt. She just wanted to be out of here, in the safety of her own apartment, take a shower, eat junk food, watch TV. "She's got these overblown ideas about nobility and heroism and self-sacrifice. She might throw her life away, or her freedom, if she thought it was for the greater good." Alex closed her eyes and just breathed for a moment. "Sometimes it scares me how much I'd do to keep her safe. What I'd accept, if it kept her alive."

Astra nodded at that, and stood silent for a moment. If she had planned to say something, though, she missed her chance when Alex's phone rang.

"It's Kara," she said, and accepted the call. "Hello?"

"Alex, can you come by my place when you're done there? Winn finished going through the files."

"We'll be there in 20."

* * *

 

"Alex, it was Hank," said Winn. "His digital signature was all over these files. He is the one who deleted them."

Out of the corner of her eye, Alex saw Astra stiffen, pulling herself up straight, the mask Alex had come to think of as 'the General' falling over her features.

Kara just shook her head in confusion. "Why would he delete them?"

"Because he's hiding something," said Alex. "Because maybe the man I've been working with for the last two years killed my father."

"All we do know is that Hank Henshaw was the last person to see your father alive."

Alex met Kara's eyes, then Astra's on the other side of the table. Astra nodded, as though to say she was still in. That her offer still stood. She'd probably kill Hank if Alex asked her to.

Alex hoped it wouldn't come to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Two episodes in one chapter, after last week's plot-light installment.
> 
> Names of constellations were derived from animals in [Kryptonian.info's dictionary](http://kryptonian.info/doyle/dictionary.html) and [various Kryptonian deities](http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Kryptonian_Religious_Guild):  
> Telle - deity of wisdom and the science guild  
> Cythonna - goddess of ice and the religious guild  
> Kara - goddess of beauty (silver age Kara Zor-El was named after her)  
> Lorra - deity of beauty and the artists' guild  
> Mordo - deity of strength and the military guild  
> Ukhirghim - generic word for winged vertebrates (apparently, no birds doesn't mean no flying creatures)  
> Zuurt - kind of looks like a mountain goat


	13. Kryptonian Once More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara loses her powers and is unable to help at the DEO when an Earthquake hits and Jemm is freed from his cell. Desperate and unwilling to trust Hank, Alex frees Astra from her kryptonite restraints and they go after Jemm together. But what’s Astra’s secret project? And will this destroy what little trust Hank has in her?

Alex was working in her lab when her phone rang. It was Kara.

"Alex, it's me. I'm- I don't know why, but I'm bleeding!"

"You're bleeding?" repeated Alex. "It's not kryptonite, is it? Are you badly hurt?"

"I can't see any, and no, I just have a cut on my finger but... Alex, I don't have my powers!" Kara's tone took on a note of panic.

"Kara, breathe. After you fought that robot, did you feel unusually tired?"

"Yes..."

"You've probably just blown out your powers. It happens to your cousin from time to time. They'll come back in a day or two."

"So... I'm not sick or something?"

"Probably not. But you could get sick now, so maybe stay away from hospitals. And you'll need to come in to the DEO for tests."

"But... I can't just whoosh over there, you know? And I have work to do."

Alex sighed. "When do you get off? I'll come pick you up."

"Um... 5:30, if Miss Grant doesn't have any last-minute errands for me. Are you sure I'll be fine until then?"

"If you've just blown out your powers, then yes. But if anything gets worse... pain that you can't explain, wooziness, that sort of thing, call me back and I'll come by right away. Okay?"

"Okay," said Kara in a small voice.

"You'll be fine," said Alex. "You'll just be a bit more like the rest of us for a couple of days. Being human isn't so bad."

"Right," said Kara, unconvinced.

"It really isn't! Just be careful, and ask for help if you need it."

"Uh oh. I'd better go. Talk to you later."

* * *

 

"I'm not waiting here," said Alex as the screen went dark, Hank and the other agents disappearing into blackness. Had Jemm killed them?

But Astra stopped her with a hand on her arm. "You'll get yourself killed. If I had my powers-"

"If you had your powers... what the hell. Let's get that thing off of you."

"Are you sure? Henshaw was most clear... and I am not certain I can get this one off."

"I can," said Alex. "And right now I trust you a hell of a lot more than I trust him."

"Danvers, are you sure this is a good idea? She's a Fort Rozz escapee, just like Jemm."

"What choice do we have, Donovan? We're all out of neural disruptors and Supergirl's out of commission. But Astra's powers give her the same immunity to mental control. And Henshaw left me in charge."

"Fine."

Alex took the keys Hank had left her and bent down, quickly unlocking the monitor. "Your powers probably won't completely come back in time, so suit up. Do you know how to shoot a gun?"

"I am... familiar with the principle of it, and was thought a fair markswoman on Krypton, but I have little experience with your weaponry."

Alex sighed. "Fine, no guns then. But get yourself a bulletproof vest and whatever weapons you _are_ familiar with."

"Very well." Astra picked up a combat knife from the pile of weapons they'd hauled in. "Old-fashioned, but I've always had a soft spot for hand-to-hand combat." She also grabbed a few grenades.

They had just finished suiting up when the door swung open and Hank stepped out.

"What happened?" demanded Alex. "We lost visuals."

"That was interference from Jemm's psychic powers. He ambushed us. Tsung and Reynolds, they're gone."

"I'm loaded. I'm ready to go," said Alex. She didn't trust Hank to fix this on his own.

"You can't. Only one disruptor left. Jemm destroyed the others."

"Then take Astra! He can't control her."

"Yes he can, unless... you released her. Without my permission."

"Sir, I trust her. And under the circumstances-"

"Frankly, Agent Danvers, you're way too close to this to be objective. And can you be certain her powers have recovered sufficiently to keep him out of her head?"

"No, sir."

"Given the circumstances, however, you may have been right to release her. Nevertheless, she stays here."

"But sir-"

"Danvers, I need you to follow orders, because the situation just got a lot worse. Jemm read Reynolds' mind and now knows everything that Reynolds did."

"Reynolds was head of security," said Alex, nightmare scenarios playing out in her mind.

"Which means Jemm knows how to open every cell in this prison," said Hank.

"He could use the combined powers of the inmates to break through the shield doors."

"I'll cover the cell block. But I can't have you getting in my way, so I'm ordering you to stay here."

Alex shook her head at that.

"Alex, you've got to trust me," said Hank.

She didn't know if she could anymore. Worse, she didn't know if she should.

* * *

 

Alex waited a couple of minutes after the door closed behind Hank, then turned to Astra and Donovan.

"It's only a matter of time before Jemm finds us in here."

Astra turned, her eyes narrow. "I can't see him."

"Your powers are back?" Finally, some good news.

"Not entirely, I believe, but it is only a matter of time."

_And sunlight, which we don't have._

"You don't think Director Henshaw will come through for us?" asked Donovan.

"I don't think relying on him is in our best interest," said Alex.

"You trust an alien ex-con more than you trust him?"

It was a good question, but she had her reasons for both. "This isn't the first time that he's been the sole survivor of a botched operation, and the details of that story were just as sketchy as this one."

"So what do we do?"

"You stay here, cover the exit. I'm going in, and I'm taking Astra. You heard what that AI said—she's our best shot at this."

* * *

 

Not far into the labyrinth of darkened DEO corridors, they found the corpses. Alex had seen her fair share of them over the last two years, but it was always rough, getting confirmation that someone you'd known was dead. That didn't stop her from bending down and retrieving one of the neural inhibitors.

"Check the one on Reynolds."

Astra did. "It's still working. That means he lied."

"Again. He lied again," said Alex. "Take it, we don't know if you're fully protected from his powers yet."

* * *

 

Astra spotted Hank first, through the wall before they even rounded the corner. They joined him in a small room off to one side.

"What are you doing here?" asked Hank, wary. "And with Astra, no less."

"Looking for you," said Alex. "You claimed that the inhibitors were destroyed."

"Because I didn't want you doing something stupid. Damn it, if he'd gotten to you before you'd found those, you could be dead by now."

Alex's com crackled to life.

"There's no escape," said Jemm in his gravelly voice. "You might as well surrender."

"We have to move to a secure location before Jemm gets down here," said Hank.

Alex cocked her weapon. "Back away from the door. Drop your weapon." Next to her, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Astra draw her knife and take up a fighting stance, proud and regal.

"Alex," said Hank, uncertain, his eyes darting from Alex to Astra. To him, it must look like they had both betrayed the DEO. Unless, of course, she was right about him and he had betrayed it first...

"Now!"

He sighed, dropping his gun.

She kicked it out of the way.

"Alex, what are you doing? I am not the enemy."

"So, is that why you didn't tell me about my father? I found out that he was DEO, and that you blackmailed him to serve under you."

"Your father believed in me. He was a great man..."

Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You don't get to talk about him!" She tossed him a pair of handcuffs. "You chain yourself. To those bars there. Now!"

While he complied, she tapped her com. "Jemm, this is Agent Danvers. I know you want those blast doors open. You don't need to release the prisoners to do that."

"Alex, no!" said Astra.

Alex ignored her. "All you need is me. I have the access code. I'll be waiting for you in the control room. Because one way or another, this ends now."

* * *

 

"Did you know Jemm?" Alex should probably have asked sooner.

"Not well, but yes, I knew him. He is... ruthless. You must be careful."

"And how are you feeling?"

"Better. Not weak, not anymore. And my senses have returned, but I am not certain I can fly, yet."

That made sense—her body had probably flushed all of the radiation, but without sunlight, she wouldn't be able to recover entirely. A pity—this fight would have been easy with a superhero on their side. "You should be careful too, then—we don't know if you're invulnerable yet."

"Are you certain it was a good idea to leave Director Henshaw behind? We may need his help."

"No, I'm not sure. But whatever happened to my father... I don't want it happening to me."

"I won't allow it, rest assured of that."

* * *

 

Alex busied herself, setting charges near the center of the control room.

"We'll only have one shot at surprising him. Even if your powers are back, you should wait until I get this attack off before jumping him."

Astra's mouth quirked in amusement. "This is not the first time I have faced a situation such as this, laying a trap for a more powerful enemy."

"I forget that you haven't always had these powers," said Alex.

"So did I, sometimes, before I met you. I would find myself thinking 'humans are so weak.' But on Krypton we were scarcely stronger than you."

"And now?"

"Losing my powers for a few weeks has reminded me of my own mortality. Meeting you... has reminded me that there is more than one kind of strength." She hesitated a moment, then laid one hand softly across Alex's chest, over her heart.

Alex met Astra's eyes, her breath catching in her throat. She looked so beautiful in this half-light, and it would easy... all too easy... to close the distance. Lean her forehead on Astra's. Or even kiss her.

Astra tensed, withdrawing her hand. "He's almost here," she whispered. "We should get ready."

* * *

 

Jemm stalked into the control room and began to look around. "Show yourself!"

That told Alex two essential bits of information—first, that he hadn't seen her, and second, that he had no idea Astra was there.

"Let us see if you die with more honor than your fallen friends," continued Jemm.

Alex fired, driving him back towards the explosives, then shut her eyes and set them off.

Jemm stumbled, but recovered almost immediately and fired a beam of energy at her. She ran, not sure if she would make it, but then... he staggered.

As Alex jumped down to the ground, she saw why—Astra had jumped him from behind. It looked like she had buried a knife in his back, and she had her arms wrapped around his throat.

Jemm struggled, trying to get her off.

"NOW, Alex!"

Alex brought up her gun, sighted ever so carefully at her moving target, and fired, praying she would hit her mark... and that if she didn't, Astra would be bulletproof, once again.

The little crystal on Jemm's forehead tumbled to the ground. Jemm spun with the impact, finally shaking Astra off. The knife, too, clattered to the floor. Jemm didn't seem injured.

"General?" asked Jemm, turning to look at her. "The humans have weakened you. Ally with me and escape."

 _No!_ Alex fired again, hitting Jemm in the shoulder to no great effect. Again, as Astra picked herself up off the floor and approached him. Drawing her handguns, she shot him again and again.

And Astra clocked him, a solid blow to the nose.

Well, it looked solid, and _sounded_ solid, but he hardly flinched. And it was hard to tell in this light, but was that blood on Astra's knuckles? Red blood, more likely hers than Jemm's?

This was bad, really bad.

Alex fired a few more rounds into his back as he approached Astra, who was retreating, seeming to realize she was out of options.

And then something barreled into Jemm from the side.

Correction, someone. Someone big, human or humanoid, and fast. Alex tried to follow the fight, or at least distinguish the newcomer, but the best she could determine was that whoever it was, it wasn't Kara.

And then the newcomer twisted Jemm's neck and stopped moving, resolving into a panting Hank Henshaw.

"I told you, Alex. I'm not the enemy," he said.

"You are also not what you seem," said Astra, cradling her injured hand in front of her. "Thank you, but I believe you owe us an explanation."

He looked from Alex to Astra and back again, dubious.

"I saw enough to know what you are," added Astra. "What I do not know is _who_ you are, nor what your motives are. As a gesture of good faith..." she sighed, "As a gesture of good faith, once I am satisfied of your motives, I will tell you—both of you—what Non is planning. I hope that will convince you to grant me greater autonomy."

"You want us to leave the ankle monitor off," said Hank.

Astra nodded. "At the very least, until this heals," she said, lifting her hand. "But I would ask that you consider—assuming I decide to trust you—letting me become a full member of the team, at least until we stop Non."

* * *

 

"If you're not Hank Henshaw, who are you?" asked Alex, her head spinning with all of these revelations.

Beside her, Astra stood silently, her injured knuckles bandaged.

"I am the sole survivor of my planet." He turned to face her, shifting into a taller, green-skinned form. "The Last Son of Mars. My name is J'onn J'onzz."

As incredible as J'onn's story had been, Alex could hardly deny the truth when it was staring her in the face like this. She turned to look at Astra, who seemed to be taking this all in stride. Maybe she knew something Alex didn't. "After the fight, you said you knew what he was. You've heard of Martians before?

Astra nodded, looking up at J'onn. "I had heard your kind were no more, but it appears that was incorrect."

"Then have I earned your trust?" he asked.

Astra shrugged. "Green Martians have the reputation of a peaceable people, and your story fits with what we already know. If Agent Danvers is satisfied, so am I."

"Hank... J'onn," said Alex, "I have so many questions. But if you're asking if I believe you... I guess I do."

"Then I will tell you about Myriad," said Astra.

"Myriad?" asked J'onn, before returning to his human form.

"Myriad is Non's current project. It is a device, based on technology I myself developed, back on Krypton." She began to pace the room. "You must understand, I had my reasons for not telling you, in the beginning. Myriad is extremely dangerous. Were it to fall into the wrong hands... I shudder to think what that might mean for the fate of this world... and eventually, of others."

"So you weren't worried about what Non might do with it, but what we might?" Alex crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at Astra.

"It is not that simple. You personally would not misuse it, Alex, and the Martian is a telepath. If he wished to manipulate people, he would not need a device to do so."

"You're a telepath?" asked Alex, spinning on J'onn. "Have you been reading my mind? Our minds?"

"I do not use my powers without consent, except in serious emergencies, though at times I do pick up stray thoughts."

"At times?"

"Rarely, I swear. And the training I gave you in hiding your emotions also protects you from accidental mindreading, to some degree. I haven't read Astra's mind at all, because like Jemm, I can't read Kryptonians' minds."

Alex knew there would be a time for these discussions, but maybe it wasn't yet. "Okay. Go on, Astra."

"As I was saying, I do not trust the DEO with it, nor do I trust your government. I had hoped, when I first parted ways with Non, that I might eventually retake my control of my former forces, but that seems less and less feasible."

She took a deep breath, and her 'General' mask fell into place. "Myriad was intended to save Krypton from destruction, but we—myself, Non, a few other Kryptonians—were captured and sent to Fort Rozz before we could complete it. When, twelve years ago, we arrived on this planet, we saw that Earth faced similar threats, due, as on Krypton, to the industrial excesses of its people, and that progress at reversing the damage was slow. I deemed it appropriate, once we had established order among the former prisoners, to build a modified Myriad.

I now believe that that was wrong—Earth's situation is less urgent than that of Krypton, and it is not time for such a desperate plan. We must stop them before they proceed to the next stage. I have fashioned devices—prototypes—that will protect their wearers from Myriad's effects, but it would likely be impossible to manufacture a sufficient number to protect the population in time."

"You still haven't told us what Myriad _is_ ," said J'onn.

"I delay because I know you will disapprove, but... this iteration of Myriad is programmed to take control of all human minds within a certain region and use their combined abilities to find a solution to the most pressing of Earth's problems."

"So," said Alex, flatly. "Mind control." _A desperate plan? A horrific one, more like._

"Yes, as a temporary measure. I thought it better than allowing Krypton to perish but... I failed. And it is in the light of that failure that I at first believed it necessary to adapt it for use on humans. We had planned to target National City, to control it only for so long as would be necessary to find and implement a solution. I am not certain, however, that Non will give up power so easily, left to his own devices. So I developed... these."

Astra reached into her pocket and pulled out a couple of small black devices—things she had been working on in Alex's lab. "They clip onto your collar, or your ear, like so, and when the light is on, they protect you from Myriad." She demonstrated, clipping one onto the collar of her standard-issue DEO shirt. "I will not need one, of course. Neither will Kara, nor you, Director. But I would recommend producing these in sufficient quantity to outfit all human personnel."

J'onn accepted one, turning it over in his hands. "How long do we have?"

"My information is a few months old, but we would have seen them make a move already, if it were nearly completed. So... at least a few weeks, perhaps as much as two or three months. I am sorry that I cannot be more precise."

"What kind of move?" asked J'onn.

"They will probably attack Lord Technologies—we were strongly considering using Lord's satellites to transmit the Myriad signal. So unless they have decided to change their target to another city, that is where they will strike first."

"And where is their base?"

Astra hesitated. "Director, I would ask that you disregard all notions of a head-on attack. The DEO's forces are insufficient."

"What about the army?" asked Alex, though the idea of working with them again didn't sit well with her.

"They might triumph, but likely at a loss of significant human life. I have never wished that. Moreover, I am loath to risk Myriad, even an incomplete version, falling into the hands of the likes of General Lane."

"You have a point," said Alex, remembering the man's almost desperate distrust of aliens. "What about a more covert attack?"

"To do more than slightly delay them, you would need to heavily damage their equipment or eliminate key members of their forces. And it would be difficult to get any significant number of personnel past their surveillance, unless they have grown sloppy, which I doubt. As I have said, Non is not my equal as a tactician, but neither is he a raw recruit. No, I believe that the best option is to capture or kill them when they attack. If we take out the core group of Kryptonians, it is likely their organization will collapse, and most of the others know little of the plan."

J'onn nodded. "Then it's best if, officially at least, the DEO doesn't know where their base is. And I can't exactly risk sneaking in myself... so... very well, keep that secret."

"Then... will you consider my request?"

"To make you a regular agent?" He crossed his arms, frowning. "You'd have to start from the bottom. Complete your training before I can trust you on missions—I need to know that you can follow our rules, obey the chain of command. Given your military background, we can probably cut the combat training short. You'd be a probationary agent, not an officer. And you might not be working with Agent Danvers, at least not as often. Is that acceptable?"

"As long as I retain my freedom," said Astra with a glance at her ankle. They hadn't reattached the monitor, but she was still probably at partial strength due to long-term kryptonite exposure and lack of sunlight.

"You can trust her, sir. She had a perfect opportunity to betray us today, but instead she risked her life to stop Jemm. And she's had opportunities to escape before, but she didn't take them."

"You drive a hard bargain," said J'onn, but he was smiling. "Welcome to the team."

J'onn and Astra shook on it.

"Now, once you finish your report, and any cleanup that's necessary in the lab, you're both dismissed for the night."

"Sir?" asked Alex.

"Danvers, I know you'll want to help with the repairs, but you've had a long day, and we have other people for that. Get some rest. And Astra? Get some sun. Dismissed."

* * *

 

"Agent Danvers?" said Susan as Alex and Astra passed on their way to the lab.

The control center was a shambles, largely thanks to the aftermath of their fight, and several people were busy cleaning and performing repairs, but Susan was sitting at one of the few functioning computers.

"What is it?" asked Alex, crossing the room to join Susan. They hadn't seen each other much since their somewhat disastrous date, and Alex hoped it wouldn't negatively impact their working relationship in the long term.

"I just thought you'd like to know that Supergirl's back in action. Ma'am. She hasn't checked in with us yet, but there are reports of her helping out across the city."

A tension Alex hadn't known she was holding dissolved into nothing, and she felt herself smile. "Thank you, Vasquez."

"Any time."

* * *

 

"Mind if I give Kara a call? She probably won't pick up, but she'll want to know that we're okay."

"Go ahead," said Astra.

Alex pulled out her phone. "Hey, Kara. I hear you're busy. That's good. I just wanted to let you know that we're okay here and um... I have some good news. Nothing urgent though; we'll talk later. Bye!"

"You told Henshaw that you wouldn't share his secret," said Astra.

"I won't. I'm talking about you getting the anklet off! Not to mention your promotion... Probie." She nudged Astra with her elbow, but she didn't give the way Kara did, and Alex would probably have hurt herself had Astra been at full strength.

"Probie?" Astra raised an eyebrow.

"Probationary Agent. Probie."

"I am not sure I like the nickname."

"Tough. It's a rite of passage. Consider it part of your education on human cultures."

Astra flipped open the box where she kept her projects. "Did that line work on Kara?"

"At first," said Alex with a grin. "Hey, I'll write the report if you check the equipment? It doesn't look like we need to clean up very much, but..."

Astra shut the case with a snap and returned it to its shelf. "Sure." One of her hands flitted to her pocket, and Alex caught a flash of something silvery.

_What?_

But Astra seemed... nervous? Alex wasn't sure if she'd seen Astra act _nervous_ before, so it was hard to be certain, but... whatever it was, it didn't seem sinister, and she was annoyed with herself for being suspicious at all.

Alex worked on her report for a few minutes, then looked up at the crunch of broken glass.

"What broke?"

"It looks like... your mug." Astra frowned, picking up the shards, and one of them tumbled from her fingers.

"For Pete's sake. Use a broom—you're obviously not bulletproof yet. You know where the supply closet is, right?"

"Yes."

By the time Alex finished her report, Astra had returned with a broom and swept up the shards. She really did look unaccountably nervous, leaning back against one of the counters, one hand in her pocket.

Alex frowned at her. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I... I just wanted to give you this." She pulled something silvery from her pocket and handed it to Alex. "It is a Myriad blocker... I wanted to ensure that you had one as soon as possible."

Where the prototypes she'd given to J'onn were blocky chunks of black plastic, this one was thin, delicate. It looked like jewelry, like it would fit around the curve of a person's ear, with blue-white stones taking the place of the little LED light on the prototypes. "Astra, this is... lovely. But shouldn't you have given it to the Director along with the others?"

"No, I made this one for you. The ones I gave him will be easier, cheaper to manufacture, I believe. But... you should keep this with you, and activate it if ever Non's forces should succeed in the next phase of their plan. May I?"

Alex handed it back, their hands brushing as she did so, and Astra pushed the hair back from Alex's right ear with gentle fingertips, then fitted the cuff to her ear.

"Good, it fits," said Astra, one hand lingering on Alex's hair. "I would like to take a picture."

 _A picture?_ Alex met Astra's eyes, and they were soft, affectionate, on hers. It was as much a request as, perhaps... an offer? A confirmation? "Not at work," she said.

"Then... at home?"

 _Home?_ "Astra?" Alex cocked her head to one side, as surprised as she was hopeful.

Astra flushed. "Alex, I... I did not mean to presume but I... I have not felt truly at home since... well, it has been a long time. Long before Krypton's destruction. It is not the same, but... I have become... comfortable over these last weeks, in a way I had not been in years. I will understand if you wish me to find another place, now that I can move about as I wish, but-"

Alex found that she really did not want Astra to move out. Not in the least. But...

"I should also apologize for not telling you sooner. I was afraid, I must confess, of your reaction. And I am all too accustomed to keeping secrets, ever since I made Myriad my mission. It was easier to continue on as I had done, rather than to do what was right." She looked at the ceiling for a moment.

Alex wondered if she could see through it to the sky above, if she was seeking Rao's light for guidance, though it must still be light outside, the stars hidden.

"By the time of Non's mutiny, it had been years since I truly opened my heart, even to him. But then, he was not the man I had once loved. Nor was I the woman I once was."

"Astra..." Alex didn't know what to say to that, to the little glimpses Astra was giving her of her past. She was jealous, foolishly—if she could have, she'd have jumped in a time machine and stopped Non and Astra from ever meeting. She wanted Astra to be hers, and only hers. From the start. But she pushed it away, because it was silly and because it was unworthy of her, unworthy of both of them, and after all, she was the one who had gone out with Susan when it seemed she and Astra could never get together... but did they have a chance now?

"I don't want you to go," said Alex at last. "Let me turn in this report and then we'll talk about it... at home."

* * *

 

Alex couldn't help but think about Astra throughout the ride home—not that it was ever an easy thought to avoid, riding her motorcycle with Astra's arms wrapped securely around her waist.

But that was a good sign, right? Astra could have used the handholds, but she'd chosen not to, right?

Alex knew Astra was still attracted to her, but was that it? Did she just want to have sex, or were all these little gestures her way of saying she wanted more? Alex wasn't sure it would be worth it just for sex, even if it was _really_ good sex.

Which it would be.

For the first time in quite a while, Alex really wanted more than that. It wasn't that she was normally averse to romance, but she hadn't let herself get close enough to anyone to form that kind of bond in years.

Now _she_ was nervous. She wanted to touch Astra's gift, which still adorned her ear, just to reassure herself that it was still there, because it was the closest thing she'd ever seen to a romantic gesture from Astra.

Then again, she didn't even know how Kryptonians _did_ romance.

* * *

 

Alex didn't want to be the one to bring up the subject, so she didn't speak as they climbed the stairs to her apartment. And when they stepped inside, Astra immediately crossed the room and stepped out onto the fire escape. She gripped the railing and leaned back in the fading sunlight as though it were a gorgeous vista, the kind of place one could only reach after hours of trekking up and down horrible switchbacks on some distant mountaintop, and not a perfectly ordinary National City alleyway, complete with a smelly dumpster and garish floral print curtains in the neighbors' windows.

Alex fetched herself a beer from the fridge.

_Should I go out there? Ah, what the heck._

Astra turned to look at her, a little smile on her lips, and Alex was floored, once again, by how gorgeous she looked when she let herself relax... and especially like this, the sun catching in her hair from behind.

"You're still wearing it," said Astra, reaching out to touch the ear cuff. "You don't have to, not yet."

"It's pretty," said Alex, and took a sip of her beer to cover the flush that threatened to rise at Astra's touch.

"May I now take a picture?" asked Astra, pulling out her phone.

"Sure," said Alex. "Um, do you want me to pose, or something?"

"Turn your head, a little," said Astra. "And smile, if you feel like it."

Oh, Alex felt like it, in spite of her uncertainty.

"Thank you." Astra took the photo—Alex could tell by the click of her phone.

"Can I see it?"

"Here."

It was a good photo—somehow she wasn't making a weird expression, for once. She looked excited. Happy. Pretty, even, the fading sunlight bringing out reddish tones in her hair and eyes. She smiled as she handed back the phone. "You can keep it."

"Were you planning to delete it, if you didn't like it?"

"Maybe." Alex glanced down at Astra's hands. One was still bandaged—the one that'd been injured punching Jemm. "How's the hand?"

"Oh, this? Much the same, but it will heal soon enough."

"You could have used the sun bed at the DEO, you know." Alex took another swig of her beer.

Astra shrugged. "I am fine. We should... talk. Alex, I am not sure I can ask this of you, but..."

"But?" Alex felt dizzy, her heart caught between hope and fear.

"There is something between us. Now that we are on more equal footing, do you wish to explore it?"

"I-" What Alex wanted to do was pin Astra to the wall and kiss her senseless, touch her everywhere, relearning the lines of her body, study every reaction, make Astra cry out her name, over and over again... but there were also things she wanted to say. Things like 'I love you' and 'stay with me', 'I need you'. All of those urges seems to smoosh themselves together and get stuck somewhere between her brain and her mouth, like a bottleneck of words and feelings. "I, um-"

Astra turned away, facing the sun again. "I will not be offended if you refuse. I understand that even now, there are risks in this for you. The Director might not approve. Kara might not, either, or your mother, now that she knows more about me. And I am not human. I am older than you, and I am not a simple person, nor even always a nice one. Perhaps we will not be... compatible, in the end."

"No. Astra, that's not... I want this. You. Us. I just... it can't just be like it was before." Alex knew she was babbling. This is why she didn't do romance. Well, part of why.

"What do you mean?" Astra turned to look at her, frowning, intent.

"I want... I want more. Than just sex."

"Oh." Astra looked almost... scared. Almost as scared as Alex felt, out in uncharted territory, at least for the two of them. "Alex, I don't know..."

"Would it be worth it? I can't... Astra, I'm sick of pretending I don't care about you. I know... I think you feel the same. Can we... try, at least?"

"I don't know... I don't know how to woo you. I mean, I have watched some of your movies but-"

Alex wanted to laugh. "Is that what you're worried about? Astra, I probably have even less of an idea of how romance goes for Kryptonians. Just... if we start with... if we're honest about how we feel, I think... maybe we can figure out the rest? I'm not... I haven't ever been much of one for romance, I don't need you to do things the 'normal' human way, I don't... we do have to tell Kara, though, she made me promise."

"She did?"

"Yeah. She was totally weirded out when she found out we'd hooked up but... she said she didn't want it to have to be a secret. So maybe she'll be okay with it."

Astra nodded. "She might. She is resilient. Mature. Much more than I expected, when you reintroduced us, but then... I was still remembering her as she was as a child."

"She's great, but... Astra, I want to give this a shot. A real one. Please?"

"It seems I have once again underestimated you," said Astra.

"What?"

Astra cupped Alex's chin in her hand, then ran her fingers over Alex's ear, the one that bore her gift. "Although I wanted to save this planet, I did not believe I would ever come to care for any of its people, but somehow... you have become precious to me, Alex. And though this frightens me, I will do as you suggest, and try."

The kiss that followed was all the sweeter for their weeks of waiting, weeks of denial and tension. Alex felt the same pull she'd been fighting, the same stirrings of desire, but she also felt as though at any moment she might take to the skies from sheer joy.

And then she felt Astra pull away from her and looked down to realize that Astra really was floating, just a few inches off of the fire escape.

"You got your powers back."

Astra gave a little, delighted laugh and did a somersault in the air before settling back down. "So I did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you know why I was excited for this chapter in particular. Action! Gay!
> 
> Next week on Small Worlds: even more gay probably.


	14. Even More Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Astra's tender moment on the balcony is interrupted by Kara, who needs a little advice. But they make up for lost time later.

Alex leaned against the balcony railing, swirling the dregs of her beer around in the can, vaguely aware that she had a goofy smile on her face, but not really caring. She'd kissed Astra and Astra had gotten her powers back and they'd gone back to a companionable silence as Astra absorbed the last rays of the sun.

Astra's movements didn't really register until she wrapped an arm around Alex's shoulders and kissed the side of her head. Alex laid her hand over Astra's and leaned back, letting Astra rock her a little. This kind of gentle affection was a new twist to their relationship, but a very, very welcome one, Alex found. It was nice to relax into Astra's strength, lower her guard, even for a little while.

"Mmm," said Alex, as Astra kissed her temple. "I like that."

"I can tell," said Astra. "You are not a person who easily drops your guard. That you trust me this much... I probably do not deserve it."

_Does she really think that?_ "Astra, you probably saved my life today."

"That does not necessarily entitle me to... this. But I thank you for it." Astra pulled her a little closer, adding an arm around Alex's waist.

_If only we could stay like this,_ thought Alex, but she knew that reality would intrude soon enough.

Indeed, she'd barely had time to finish that thought when her cell phone rang, jogging her out of the moment. With a groan, she disentangled herself from Astra, and answered the call.

"Alex, it's me," said Kara. "I got your call. So, what's the good news?"

_Well, we had to have this conversation sooner or later._ Alex leaned back against the wall. "Well, we got things taken care of at work, like I said, and Hank, well, he changed his mind about Astra, if you catch my drift."

"So she's... free?"

"Yep."

"Alex, that's great! But wait... what about, you know?"

"Kara, we misjudged him. He's okay, you can trust him."

"Well... if you say so."

"I do."

"Then... do you want to come over? I kind of got in an argument with Winn today, and I'd like the company."

"Um..." On almost any other day, Alex would have been glad to oblige, but she'd just gotten back together with Astra, and she really wanted to see what that meant. To be selfish, and take this time for herself, since they didn't know what tomorrow would bring. "I'm with Astra right now, let me see what she wants to do." She covered the phone, not that it would prevent Kara from hearing if she strained her ears. "Did you catch all that?"

Astra nodded. "If you want, we can go to her, but..."

_She's having the same hesitations I am,_ realized Alex. "Listen, Kara. Me and Astra... we're trying to make things work. Um, romantically, I mean. And we just decided that a few minutes ago and I'm sorry if this is bad timing to tell you but... I think we need to take this evening and figure stuff out."

"Oh. Um, okay. I can just-"

"But I'll tell you what. I'm going to go into my room, and Astra is _not_ going to listen in, and you can tell me what's going on with Winn, okay?" Alex frowned at Astra, who nodded.

"Okay." Kara's voice sounded small. Scared? Overwhelmed? A little of both?

Alex quickly walked into the apartment and to her room, shutting the door behind her. She set down her can on the nightstand and sat down on her bed. "Okay, go."

"You, you don't want to talk about you and Astra? I mean, I guess I kind of thought it might happen eventually, but..."

Alex shrugged, even though Kara wouldn't see it. "What's there to say? We decided we'd try it, we kissed, she hugged me, you called. Oh, and she got her powers back already, but she's still out there recharging on the fire escape. I might have more to say about it later."

"I guess." Kara clearly didn't know what to say to that, not that Alex had expected her to.

"So... what happened?"

"I still like James!" said Kara.

"Okay..." Alex didn't quite see how this would lead to fighting with Winn.

"And I spent the day with him, kind of, and we hugged, and Winn saw, and I guess he could tell that I still like James, even though he's with Lucy now, and he got mad at me... he said I should be better than that."

_Good grief, Winn._ "And? Kara, that's normal."

"It is?"

"Yeah. You don't just stop liking someone just because they're unavailable! Humans don't, anyway. So as long as you don't act on it... as long as you don't, I don't know, hit on him or try to kiss him or whatever, cross his boundaries or Lucy's... it's fine. Winn's probably just mad because he's jealous. And because he put you on a pedestal."

"He said it wasn't about... you know, though."

"No, he put _you_ on a pedestal, Kara, long before you started... that. Like you're some kind of perfect girl, and now he's disappointed because you're... a person, instead, just like the rest of us. So just, you know, try to get over him but if you can't right away, don't worry about it, okay? If James or Lucy ever tells you that you've crossed a line, back off, but unless they do... you're probably not doing anything wrong. Does that help?"

"I... I think so. Thanks, Alex."

"It sucks that he's mad at you, but you've been friends long enough that he should get over it. If you still really need me to come over, I'll come. If not... movie night? Tomorrow? Just me and you, if you prefer?"

"I think I feel better, thanks, but... yeah, that would be great. I'll... see you tomorrow, then. Um, bye."

"Bye." Alex put away her phone, wondering if she should have just gone to Kara. But Kara was a grown woman. She could deal with one night alone. Right?

* * *

 

When she returned to the living room, Astra was poking around in the fridge. Alex had been trying to keep it better stocked since Astra moved in, but it was hard to keep up with a Kryptonian's appetite and they never seemed to have time to shop. Maybe that would change now that Astra had her powers back and could help more.

"Find anything?" asked Alex.

"No," said Astra, shutting the door. "Is Kara okay?"

"Just friend troubles. She'll be fine. Do you um... do you want to go out for dinner? Or order something?" Alex kind of wanted to go out, to make this a date, if only to make this feel more... real, somehow.

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"It doesn't have to be..." Not for the first time, Alex cursed the way all her self-assurance left her around women she really liked.

"I accept. Did you really think I would refuse this soon?"

"I-" _So what if this makes me nervous._ "I'm going to go change."

It was a matter of moments to strip down to her underwear, but picking out an outfit was more of a struggle than usual. She hesitated over a little black dress, and with it, girlier undergarments, but that would mean heels, she hated heels and Astra had never seen her in a dress, would it be safer to stick with pants? She shouldn't overthink this this much but...

_Oh._ Her eyes settled on her one pair of leather pants. They always made her feel gorgeous, desirable, but she rarely wore them because they were practically skintight and she was afraid of messing them up somehow.

They would also require different underwear—these boxer briefs would bunch up like nobody's business.

So she changed into the fancy underwear, black and satiny, with bra to match, and pulled the pants on over them. They still fit—just barely—and she selected a dark gray, flowy blouse to wear with them. She was hesitating over layers—sweater? Blazer? Leather jacket? when Astra knocked at the door.

"Come in," she said.

Astra did, and _oh_ , when had _she_ gotten a leather jacket and what right did she have to look that good in it, with just a little cleavage visible under that low-cut top?

Alex tore her eyes away, only to see that Astra was looking her up and down as well. Alex smirked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'd want me too, when I dress like this," said Alex. Something about having a gorgeous woman look at her like that made her confidence come flooding back.

"I will enjoy getting you out of those pants, but it would be a pity to deprive myself of this sight so soon," said Astra. "Unless, of course, you prefer to wait until the traditional... third? Or is it fourth? Date."

"I don't think that rule applies when you've already hooked up," said Alex, laying the sweater and the blazer down on the bed and putting on her own leather jacket.

Astra kissed her then, hungrily, and weeks of want roared to life inside her. Alex took Astra's lip between her lips and bit, tugged her closer and squeezed her butt with one hand so that Astra gasped into her mouth.

Astra pulled away then, nuzzled Alex's ear with her nose, then said, "We should stop. Unless you want to be the main course."

Alex snorted, caught between amusement and arousal, but let go. "Have I mentioned that your English is improving?"

"Is it? Maybe I meant that literally." Astra gave a toothy grin.

"Gross. Let's get you some real food."

* * *

Alex briefly considered going somewhere fancy, conventionally date-y, the kind of place with a ridiculous number of tiny courses and fine wine, but decided it was more important to properly feed her Kryptonian. After all, she'd be burning off those calories later, with any luck.

Instead, they took a short bus ride to Alex's favorite pho place, a small, inconspicuous storefront underneath an apartment building. Once inside, it was cheery, with the walls painted in warm tones, plasticky lamps in geometric shapes, and Vietnamese art along the walls.

"Have you tried Vietnamese food before?" asked Alex as they sat down.

Astra nodded. "A few times, when I lived in France."

"When you lived in France?"

Astra blinked at her. "Surely you're aware that Vietnam was once a French colony? There are quite a few Vietnamese people in Paris, in particular."

"Right. Of course." Alex had almost forgotten Astra's remark about living there. She wanted to ask more, but food came first. "So, any preference?"

"Well, it has been a long time, but... soup is the specialty here, I think you said. I will have that, and whatever appetizers you think are good."

"Okay." Alex flagged down a waiter. "Can we get an order of the chicken spring rolls, an order of vegetarian egg rolls, and... oh, the vegetarian spring rolls as well, to start us off? I'll have a glass of the white, and um... Astra, do you want anything to drink?"

"The iced coffee, I think."

"And I'll have a small #13 soup, and can we share the chicken fried rice?"

"No problem," said the waiter.

"I will have a large soup #15," said Astra. "Alex, do you think that is enough?"

Alex shrugged. "We'll get more if it isn't."

The waiter took the order in stride, having served Alex and Kara in the past. Really, for them, it would have been quite modest.

"Tell me about something," said Alex. "We've been living together for weeks, but sometimes I feel like I barely know you. Like... why were you in France, for example?"

"Well... when we first... crashed, most of us scattered. Those who could hide, did, those who could blend in, did that. Those who couldn't... I believe a few were captured, in those first few months, by the military or your government. A few remained with me, and for the first week or so we hid not far from the crash site, taking what we could from the wreckage, stealing from the nearest town... it was a difficult time, but we were free, at least. As soon as we could, we started looking for the others. Some were nearby, or easily found, and joined us willingly enough. Others refused, and we let them be, on the condition that they not reveal our secrets. But there was one whose skills we needed who we could not, at first, find. So as soon as it was safe, as soon as our new base was complete, I set off looking for her."

"And she was in France?"

Astra nodded. "In Paris, as it turns out. I disguised myself as a human and took my time seeking her out, then convincing her to join us. At first she would not meet with me, but in the end she agreed. I may have taken more time than was really necessary. I enjoyed my time there."

"Why? What made it different? Just because it was a new place, or because it was Paris or-"

"Because I could spent a few weeks, or a month, not worrying about my mission."

The waiter arrived with their drinks as Astra spoke. Alex flashed him a grateful smile and took a sip of the wine. It was fine... not great, but fine.

"You were focused on that one goal for... how long?"

"About... five or six of your years, back home, and nearly twelve here."

"Most of your adult life, then. And you'd give that up? For us?"

"I have. Not just for you, or for Kara, but for what I am beginning to see about your people, and what I am beginning to realize about my former allies. They were not as pure in their purpose as I was."

"Astra, I... I don't think any of us can thank you enough. You may have just saved this whole city."

Astra shook her head. "When this is all over, I will want to keep looking for ways to protect this Earth. The threat to you is as real as the one to my world, though more distant yet."

"You could keep working with us, with me."

Astra took a sip of her coffee, her expression pensive. "That would do some good but it is not... I think the expression is perhaps a bit archaic, but I believe you would refer to it as my 'calling'. Fighting is not my calling, for all that I excel at it."

"You want to continue your mission, in a way." Selfishly, Alex's heart sank. Would this tear them apart, when they'd only just found each other?

"I do," said Astra. "But this time, I must find a way to do it without hurting anyone. And... I do not know how."

As much as it pained her to encourage Astra in anything that might result in her leaving, Alex wasn't about to hold her back, not after she's caused Kara so much pain doing exactly that. So she laid her hand across Astra's on the table and gave it a squeeze. "You'll figure it out."

Astra's brows drew together as she met Alex's eyes. Then realization seemed to dawn. "Alex... I am not planning to leave you. I mean, I may have work that takes me away from here, for a time, but if we are still together when that happens, I fully intend to return. Not to work with you, perhaps, but I... it is far too soon to make any promises for the future, but I can say this much: I want to stay with you."

"Astra..." Alex couldn't say more, her voice choked with emotion.

Astra reached across the table and gently brushed a lock of hair back from Alex's face. "You were willing to support me even if it took me from you. That is who you are, and I would not ask that you change. But perhaps... you won't need to make that sacrifice."

Alex cracked a smile. "I hope not."

* * *

 

Dinner, in the end, was plenty, at least for the moment. Alex may have eaten just a little too much—at the very least, her pants felt a little snugger than they had at the beginning of the meal.

"So. We're dressed for dancing. Do you want to go dancing?" asked Alex.

"I'm not much for dancing, you know that. At least, not the way you mean it. So if we could, perhaps, skip to the next part..."

"Sure." Alex flagged down the waiter and asked for the check. "When we met, you said that you knew how to dance. Was that something from home?"

"Yes."

"Feel free to say no, but... could you show me?"

"The, the music here is wrong for it and I am not a musician-" Astra's expression was so pained that Alex regretted ever saying anything.

"Forget it, I'm sorry."

"No, it is just... I never regretted not paying more attention to the arts until it was all gone, and there were so many things I knew little or nothing about, that I would have no chance of ever seeing again."

"It's not much, I know, but it's not just you, Astra," said Alex, trying to find some comfort for her. "There's Kara, and the others-"

"Who Non has, in effect, taken from me-"

"And Kal doesn't remember but he's learned a bit, and there's that AI, and I think Kal has one of his father as well..."

"He was a learned man, but not in the arts," said Astra.

"...and possibly of his mother, but I'm not sure."

"Lara was... I didn't know her well, but she was a good person, and a great painter. She would have known some of it."

"...and I'm not sure if you'll count this, but I've been studying your culture, a bit. So has my mother, before Kara even came to live with us."

"Really?" Astra seemed a little more composed now.

"She's friends with Kara's cousin. My father helped him figure out his powers, and Kal let my parents study some of the things that had come with him. I think I mentioned that, the night that we met."

"You may have. I think I thought it a ruse."

"Well, it was misdirection, but it was also true. That's why he brought Kara to us. Because my parents knew more about his powers than any other human and because we knew a little of the language..."

The waiter returned with the bill, interrupting their conversation.

Alex settled up, waving aside Astra's attempt to chip in. "No, no. You can make it up to me later."

"Hmm. How much later are we talking?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe later in the week... next week, even..." Alex smirked.

"You're sure I can't persuade you to make it sooner?"

"Wow, can't keep a good alien down I guess..."

"I would rather think about the future than the past, for once. Is that so wrong?"

"No, of course not."

* * *

 

The bus ride back from the restaurant reminded Alex of the ride back from the bar, the first night they'd met, except that instead of Astra holding her hand like an anchor, to calm herself down, she had an arm slung low around Alex's waist and from time to time Alex kissed Astra's neck, right below her ear. She knew it would draw attention but she felt like she was floating on a cloud and she just didn't care. And when, almost inevitably, some bozo decided to glare at them, she felt more than saw Astra turn and give him a look that could have melted steel... all without resorting to heat vision.

* * *

 

"Do you want to move your stuff into my room?" asked Alex. "I mean, I think I have the space, and if you're sleeping with me, you might as well sleep with me, if you catch my drift."

"I think I do. But I think I would rather get you out of those pants first."

"Suit yourself," said Alex, trying not to show how much Astra's words affected her.

"Though I must say, even like this, the view is quite nice."

Astra's hand grazed Alex's butt, and she tripped, falling back against Astra.

"At least wait until we're inside," said Alex.

Astra pushed her back upright. "Then go."

"Fine."

After that, Alex kind of thought Astra would be on her the moment they stepped inside the door, but instead she hung back while Alex pulled off her jacket.

"I should tell you... I held back last time, because I was pretending to be human, but I don't know if you-"

"Wait, wait. Superpowers? In bed?" Alex took half a step back.

"I think it would be easiest to demonstrate. May I? I will not harm you, and if you wish it I will stop."

_Might as well try_. "I, um... yes, okay."

Astra exhaled, a little puff of cold air that made Alex shiver, then gathered Alex into her arms, pressing cold lips to her throat. She pushed a knee between Alex's legs and it seemed to be... vibrating?

Alex squirmed as Astra's tongue replaced her lips, the cold at her throat warring with the pulsing heat rising in her core, taking away her ability to do more than cling and let out a little breathy moan.

After a moment, Astra pulled back and looked her in the eye. "Now what do you think?"

"I, um, I..." It took a moment for Alex to collect herself. "That is, that is going to be amazing. When it's... hot, yes. But I think, maybe... just the vibration, for now? And maybe let me get out of these pants?"

"Sure." Astra removed her own jacket. "I had forgotten how much I liked seeing you like this."

"How, exactly?" asked Alex, leading the way to the bedroom.

"Flushed. Breathless. At my mercy."

Alex was sure that if she turned around, she'd see a toothy grin on Astra's face. But she didn't bother, instead busying herself with the buttons on her shirt. "Only because I choose to be."

"That makes it all the sweeter," said Astra, putting her hands over Alex's from behind as she undid the last button. "This is not a war, nor even a battle, it is... an exchange? An armistice?"

Together, they pushed Alex's shirt open and off of her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. Alex turned in Astra's arms, seeing for the first time that Astra had removed her own top, revealing a lacy black bra.

"Why?" asked Alex. "Because we might just as easily have fought on opposing sides?"

"Well, yes," said Astra, and she raised a hand to stroke the soft satin of Alex's bra. "But also because I would like to promise you so much, but it is too soon, yet. And because tomorrow we may fight again."

"Side by side, I hope."

"Of course," said Astra, and her lips as she pressed them to Alex's were soft and warm again, as were the hands that trailed down Alex's back.

Alex closed her eyes, letting her hands roam on instinct, over the firm muscles of Astra's back, and under her hair, to the nape of her neck. She opened her eyes again as Astra ran a finger along the edge of her pants, then tugged at the button.

"Don't rip them," she said, her voice already a little husky.

"And deprive myself of this?"

Alex gasped as Astra gave her butt a hard squeeze. "My butt will still be here," she said. "Though I might not let you touch it if you ruin my pants."

"The question is," said Astra into Alex's ear as she moved her hands back to the fly and unbuttoned it ever so slowly, "would it look quite so good in anything else you own?"

"God, Astra..." Alex's legs were threatening to turn to jelly, and Astra'd hardly done anything yet.

"Do you know what your problem is?" asked Astra, bending down as she pushed Alex's pants down over her hips. She didn't wait for a response. "You know what I can do to you, and you've been holding back for weeks. I can smell how much you need me, hear your heart react to my words."

"Don't tease, unless you want me to show you how it feels." Alex grabbed a fistful of Astra's hair, just about the only part of her she could reach, and gave it a tug. Astra's gasp sent a jolt of heat through Alex once more, and Alex rewarded it with another light tug.

"You like that, don't you? I bet you wanted me to be much rougher, last time, didn't you?"

"Yes..."

"Do you want me to take charge? Tell you what to do?"

"What I want," said Astra, pulling down Alex's pants at last, "is to make love to you. I am not wholly averse to such play, but it can wait."

Alex let go and stepped out of her pants, then, as Astra straightened up, looped her arms around Astra's waist and pulled her close. Leave it to Astra to turn it sentimental.

There was a tenderness to Astra's grip as she wrapped her arms around Alex's mostly bare torso. Alex felt oddly comforted, secure in Astra's strength, in the warmth of her skin, that paradoxical softness that concealed the steel underneath.

Memories of her dream came surging back. How could Alex ever have thought this was anything less than inevitable?

How could she ever have believed this would even be possible?

Before she could get too misty-eyed about it, she kissed Astra again, and reached up to tug on her hair, a mix of white and brown, soft under her touch. Astra moaned into it, and Alex pushed a knee between her legs.

"I want..." she said, words bubbling up inside her, "I want to kiss you a thousand times, I want to make you moan, I want to show you everything I feel for you, I want..." _I want everything, all at once, right now,_ "I want everyone to know that you're mine."

"Alex, you are brave" said Astra with a laugh, planting a kiss on her temple, "and smart," and one on her chin, "and loyal," and another on her ear, "and kinder than I deserve, but you are not wise."

"I know, but is it wrong to want that?"

"No. _Khativ_ Alex, nothing would make me happier than to tell everyone... were it possible, or safe." Her eyes were sad, and Alex wanted nothing more than to kiss away that hurt. "But for now, what we have is this—you and I, and this room."

"And this bed," said Alex, tugging Astra towards it and sitting down on the edge. "Which we should use."

Astra pulled off her jeans, at last, and climbed on top of Alex, forcing her further back on the bed.

"Hmm, nice view," said Alex, her face inches from Astra's bra. "But you're still wearing too much."

"Oh?" said Astra, raising an eyebrow, and suddenly she was a blur of motion, reappearing moments later, completely naked. She pressed her body to Alex's, and god, Alex could feel every inch of her, but whether it was Astra's nakedness or the display of power, she still needed more.

She ran her fingers up and down Astra's back, digging her nails in—uselessly—here and there. She wanted to flip Astra over on her back, wanted to get a better look at her, run kisses all the way down her body, bury herself between Astra's thighs, but she couldn't move.

And by the snort Astra made when she tried, that was the intended effect.

Alex settled for poking her in the ribs. "I think you said something about surrendering? Or do you just want to play around?"

In answer, Astra rolled over on her back. "You're wearing too much, as well."

Alex reached back and unhooked her bra, watching Astra's face as she did so. Astra followed her every movement as she slowly removed it and set it aside, then lowered her hands to her waistband and slid her panties slowly down her body.

"I can't mark you, so I'll have to make sure you remember this," said Alex, then leaned down and kissed Astra's throat, rough and open-mouthed. When she bit in, a bit lower, and cupped a full breast in one hand, Astra twitched against her. She put a knee between Astra's legs and was gratified to find her already wet.

"I'll have you know I have quite—oh—a good memory," said Astra.

"Good," said Alex, squeezing. "You look amazing."

She pressed her knee into Astra a little, for emphasis, but if she thought Astra would let her remain in control, she was wrong. Astra darted out a hand, almost too fast to follow, and rested it between Alex's legs for a moment before pushing a finger ever so gently between her folds. Alex watched, entranced, as Astra put her finger in her mouth, sucking off Alex's juices, but that didn't stop her from squeezing Astra's breasts or trailing little touches down her stomach, or pressing her leg into Astra's core.

Then Astra frowned. "Interesting. I am reminded that you are— _oh, Alex_ —a, uh, _taiium_ , um, alien."

_Alien?_ Alex snorted. "Hate to break it to you, but on this planet, that's you. And you're talking too much." She gave Astra another nip on the shoulder, then a hard bite that made her shudder.

"I am—oh _Rao_ —I am being serious. You taste different."

Alex took one of Astra's nipples in her mouth and sucked on it for a moment. It was slightly salty with her sweat. "No, tastes the same to me."

"Do not be obtuse. You understand my, uh, my meaning."

"Mmm." Alex planted a wet kiss on Astra's other breast before sucking on that nipple in turn and pulled her knee away to let her hands slide lower on Astra's belly, but not quite into her wetness, enjoying Astra's little gasps. Then she pulled back and looked up, meeting Astra's eyes as she teased with her fingers. "And how many Kryptonians have you gone down on lately?"

"N-none," said Astra, sucking in a shaky breath as Alex let one hand glide over her outer lips. "But I have, uh, touched myself—oh, Alex, _please_ —sometimes thinking of you."

That did it—Alex couldn't delay any longer, and god, at this rate she'd die of anticipation before Astra did anything much to her. She slipped a finger between Astra's folds, stroking lazily through her wetness, then put it in her mouth as Astra had.

She blinked. Astra was right. A little... sweeter, perhaps? It wasn't unpleasant, anyway. "I think," she said, moving downward and spreading Astra open with her other hand, "that this merits further study."

She punctuated that with a flick of her tongue through Astra's wetness, and Astra's legs twitched around her.

"I need you. Inside me," said Astra, and _oh God_ , Alex would never get over the sound of her practicing whining with need. "Please."

Alex slid one finger inside, feeling around for that rough spot where a little pressure would go a long way. But then, did the similarities really run that deep? They had seemed to, last time.

<More!> said Astra.

Alex obliged her with a second finger, which went in easily enough, even as Astra squirmed under her. She resumed her licking, drawing a hissing breath as Astra grabbed at her hair.

<Tell me if... if I hurt you,> said Astra between gasps.

Alex started moving her fingers then, pumping in and out, swirling her tongue around as Astra's fingers moved in her hair, hesitant, as though afraid to hurt her.

Alex suddenly needed to drive her to the edge, to make her let go. She hastened her pace, driving her fingers in and out, and focused her efforts on Astra's clit, sucking and licking.

"Alex! Oh, Rao!"

Alex redoubled her efforts and-

Astra went still... and then came, gushing all over Alex's face, her hand clenching in Alex's hair.

Alex squeezed her thighs together, the wetness threatening to drip down between them.

She could have stopped, could have let Astra have her way with her, but she wanted this to be memorable.

So she only gave Astra a small breather before starting to move and suck again and soon Astra was trembling under her, her breath coming in gasps and moans, and Alex pressed her thighs together once more as Astra came again.

She would have kept going, but Astra said, "No, come up here."

So Alex pulled her hand away, moving stiffly up on top of Astra.

And Astra kissed her, and it was soft and tender and loving even with Alex's face still wet with Astra's cum.

Alex jerked away in surprise as something vibrated against her core.

"Too much?" asked Astra, pulling her hand away.

"No, just... surprising."

So Astra tried again, dragging her fingertips between Alex's folds before vibrating them again.

Alex shuddered and collapsed against Astra, her arms no longer able to support her weight.

Astra wrapped her free arm around Alex's back. "More?"

"Yes! Astra..." Alex was having trouble thinking, trouble getting her words out, the vibrations coursing through her after she'd denied herself for so long. Astra seemed to know just how fast, just how hard to do it, and Alex moaned as Astra slid a finger inside her and began to move it.

Alex couldn't do more than cling as Astra vibrated her hand again and moved a finger closer to her clit, but without quite touching it, and when Astra began to lick her ear she cried out.

"Astra! Oh, god, more!"

Astra obliged, licking the edge of her ear, then the inside, and god, that alone would have been enough to turn her muscles to jelly but-

Alex came, her core clenching down on Astra's hand, a flash of white behind her eyes.

Astra slowed her movements, just a little, and Alex was almost able to catch her breath, in spite of the pulsating heat that still filled her.

"Astra, oh, I don't-"

"Should I stop?"

Alex groaned between clenched teeth as Astra pulled away. "Don't, please. I just, I don't think- oh."

Astra had added another finger, and the fullness, the pressure, had the heat mounting in her again, filling her chest, her throat.

"I don't think I could—oh, yes, more—um, go back to humans after this."

Astra chuckled in her ear. "I don't know, you have your merits." She intensified the vibrations for a moment.

It was almost enough—Alex's head tipped back, and her eyes shut.

But then Astra stopped entirely, and Alex moaned at the loss of sensation.

"Don't stop, please," said Alex, suddenly desperate. She bit Astra's neck, softly at first, then hard, and Astra's hand clamped down on her back, the other moving once again, Astra's thumb on her clit.

She rode it to a second orgasm, one that had her freezing then melting again, not so much clinging to Astra as draped over her, all soft muscle and mostly-sated desire.

Astra's movements slowed, then stopped, and this time Alex didn't ask for more, merely kissed her firmly on the crook of her neck and rolled over to one side to lie more comfortably, still halfway on top of her, as she gradually recovered.

"God, Astra, I... fuck."

Astra chuckled and stroked her arm with her fingertips. "Take your time.

* * *

 "Have I told you how much I like this streak?" asked Alex some time later, halfway sitting up in bed, wrapping it around her fingers. She remembered, as a kid, thinking that Superman must feel like metal, even though he looked human... and then she'd realized that her parents' friend Clark, who liked to ruffle her hair with soft, often ink-stained hands, _was_ Superman.

But it sometimes surprised her how soft Astra could be, though she, more than Superman, more than Kara, seemed to carry that steel in her eyes—sometimes cold, solid, unyielding, others molten, aglow with lust or anger.

"No, but I am quite fond of it myself. When it grew in, I finally had something that set me apart." Astra stared at the ceiling for a moment. "When Alura and I were little, it was amusing to use our resemblance to fool others, but that grew tiresome, eventually. I wanted to be seen for myself, not just as 'Alura's sister', much less as Alura herself."

Alex nodded. She'd have resented sharing a face with Kara, when she already shared so many other things. And she'd never really been just 'Kara's sister' to people outside the family, since Kara was younger and new to town, new to school. No, it was more like, 'Alex, whose foster sister is a weirdo', which was bad enough. But with Eliza, especially, it often felt, to this day, like Kara had taken Alex's rightful place.

Alex didn't resent Kara for that... well, not often, not anymore. But Eliza? They'd made progress, sure, but that didn't mean everything was fixed, much less that Alex had forgiven her. That might take a while. If she ever managed it.

"I think I understand," said Alex. "And I think it's beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I promised you even more gay, so...  
> khativ = my (informal, subject is feminine, object is a person)  
> taiium = foreigner, stranger, outsider


	15. Changing Roles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Astra make an interesting discovery about Kryptonian physiology, everyone spars, Kara’s romantic dramas complicate themselves, and it’s Hanukkah.

"I wasn't supposed to care, you know," said Alex as they lay together in bed.

"No?" Astra propped herself up on one elbow, looking down at Alex.

"No. You were supposed to be a blip, an anomaly, an outlier... a break in my day-to-day life. You weren't supposed to change it."

"Have I changed it?"

Alex fixed Astra with her best don't-be-a-dumbass glare, but in the dark she wasn't sure how effective it was. "Of course you have."

Astra snuggled back down into the covers and wrapped an arm around Alex. "Why did you pick me, that night?"

"You were mysterious. And hot. And maybe... I don't know, it has to have been subconscious if so, because I recognized your accent."

"My accent?"

"Yeah. I couldn't place it at the time, but I knew I'd heard it somewhere before. Turns out you have the same accent as Kara did the first couple of years she lived with us."

"So... you think you were attracted to me _because_ I am Kryptonian, not in spite of it? Why?"

Alex grimaced. "When you put it that way, it makes me sound like some kind of chaser. I'm sure that's going to be a thing, when people realize exactly how many aliens there are on this planet."

"What?"

"Sort of a... fetishist. Someone who just sees aliens as a notch on their bedpost. Like, they want to have sex with one because they think it'd be interesting, or so they can brag about it. That's not how I see you, just to be clear." Alex mulled over it for a moment. "But I think maybe it was the mystery of it, or even the familiarity of it, that got me interested, at first. But if I'd consciously known, I wouldn't have hit on you. I'd have called the DEO."

"And I would have run away, and not known Kara was alive until she became Supergirl."

* * *

 

Kara was improving. Had been noticeably improving since Alex had started sparring with her, though her field experience probably had something to do with that as well.

But would it be enough?

Well, it wouldn't have to be, not for much longer. It might be a while before J'onn started sending Astra on missions, but at least she could train Kara.

But not before Alex put them both through their paces.

"Come at me!"

"Shouldn't you come at me, for a change?" grumbled Kara, but she attacked.

Alex barely sidestepped it, then used Kara's momentum against her, propelling her to the floor. "Again!"

This time, Kara's attack was wild, amateurish. She was frustrated. Alex easily tripped her. "Again!"

Kara moved fast now, faster than Alex had expected, and would probably have landed a hit... but she hesitated, and Alex used the opening to land a roundhouse kick in her side. "Why did you hesitate?"

"We're just training," said Kara, rubbing at her side. "And you're my sister."

"What if I wasn't?" asked Alex. "What if you had to fight me?"

"What... what are you saying? Alex, you'd never-" Kara's brow furrowed.

"Okay, here, listen." Alex signaled a break, then turned the emitters on the wall off and sat on the edge of the ring.

Kara sat next to her.

"So... Astra told us about her plan. Well... Non's plan, now, but it was her idea, in the beginning. She was trying to save Krypton, yes, but to do so she invented something called Myriad. Non's people are building a modified version, which will be able to control any human in range. You'll be immune, so will Astra, but you might end up having to fight any or all of us. Me, Vasquez, your friends at CatCo..."

"Or Hank. You're sure we can trust him?"

 _You won't have to fight him, at least._ "Yes, I'm sure. The point is, you can't afford to hesitate, no matter who your opponent is. I don't want to see you getting hurt because you lost your nerve."

"I couldn't... Alex, I could never hurt you! Well, not on purpose..." She looked down at Alex's arms, at, Alex knew, the scar hidden by Alex's sleeve.

Kara didn't know how many other scars Alex had gotten, since starting at the DEO.

"Even if I was trying to hurt you? It's a very real possibility, Kara."

Kara's eyes shot to her face, narrowing. "Wait a second. Astra told you about this and you two still... what am I missing?"

Alex sighed and pushed herself upright, heading out into the corridor towards the locker room. "Follow me."

"What? Where are we going?"

"She gave us some... devices to block the effects of Myriad. R&D is trying to make enough for all DEO personnel. Well... human personnel, obviously. And afterwards, she gave me one, specifically. I haven't been wearing it today, in case I break it, but... well, you'll see."

Stepping into the locker room, Alex scanned the room. At this time of day, it was usually quiet, but... there was one agent changing clothes on the far side of the room, but no one anywhere near Alex's locker.

She opened it and pulled out the Myriad blocker, holding it out to Kara.

"Careful."

Kara took it in the palm of her hand, and turned it over ever so gently. "Astra _made_ this?" she breathed.

"That's what she says," said Alex.

"And I always thought Lara was the artist in the family... I mean, she was, but on Krypton Astra never did much art, beyond the occasional sketch." Kara handed it back. "Why aren't you wearing it?"

"Astra thinks we still have time before they attack, and besides... it's so pretty I'd feel weird wearing it all the time."

"Will you at least show me what it looks like?"

Alex nodded and ducked her head for long enough to slide it on, then tucked her hair back out of the way, turning to give Kara a good look.

"Aww... you two are so sweet I'm gonna gag."

Alex frowned. "What?"

"Oh, come on, she gave you jewelry? That she made herself? And it even looks good on you."

Alex elbowed Kara in the ribs... lightly, so that she wouldn't hurt herself.

Kara rubbed at it, though there was no way she'd really felt it. "Hey! Even you have to admit that's pretty sappy."

Alex took the ear cuff off and stuck it in her pocket. "I guess."

"Who'd have thought you'd be the romantic in the family, huh?"

"Kara!"

"What's this? A sibling squabble?" Alex hadn't noticed Susan before, but suddenly she was standing just behind Kara.

"What good is super hearing if you still let people sneak up on you?" asked Alex. "And how long have you been there?"

"Oh, not long," said Susan, grinning evilly. "Just long enough to see that thing in your pocket and know you got it from your new... girlfriend? Lover?"

"What?" asked Alex, trying to construct a believable lie.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," said Susan. She shook her head. "Danvers, you're a piece of work, but I hope you're happy. Genuinely." She clapped Alex on the shoulder before heading for her own locker.

Alex watched her go. "Uh, thanks, Vasquez... I guess."

Kara cocked her head to one side. "What was that about?"

"Um... I kind of dated her for all of one night and it kind of didn't work out, because of me and my... feelings."

"Well, I'd say welcome to the bad date club, but it sounds like things worked out for you."

Alex reached out and squeezed Kara's arm. "You'll find someone."

Kara nodded, but Alex could tell she didn't believe it.

* * *

 

"Hanukkah?" asked Astra. Her pronunciation was fairly good, but then all the sounds existed in Kryptonese, unlike in English, and Kryptonians seemed to be scary good with languages. "I know it by name, but how do you celebrate it?"

"Well, those who are actually religious... unlike me... get involved in that side of it. There are songs and things, a whole story to tell, even though it's a pretty minor holiday. Me, I usually just light candles and eat gelt and donuts. You're supposed to eat fried things, because of the miracle of the oil, or whatever. But really it was about a military victory."

"Was it?" said Astra, her interest visibly peaked.

"It was. I don't remember all of the details, but the Maccabees revolted against the Greeks and freed the Temple. So there are other reasons too, but that's part of why we celebrate it. In the States though, people do it as sort of a fuck you to the way Christmas is everywhere. Because we're this tiny minority and it feels like we're surrounded."

"I can understand that," said Astra. "It was a shock, the first time I left Krypton. Not that I was the most religious, but not being able to find a priest... well, the right kind of priest... even if I wanted one, nothing being in my language, all the food being different. Kara was, I believe, raised with a bit more of a multicultural education than I was... her family was wealthier, you know."

"I get the sense they were rolling in it."

"That is not inaccurate. We were not poor, just... a few steps lower in the hierarchy. But we both worked our way up, even before Alura's advantageous marriage. Not that she really did it for that." Astra shook her head. "I do not wish to speak so much of her. It makes me melancholy. Tell me more of your holidays."

"Well, it lasts eight nights, starting tonight. Mom used to make the best latkes... potato pancakes. I like them with applesauce, but Kara prefers sour cream. I can't make them to save my life, but sometimes I go to Canter's and eat some there, if I have the time."

Alex had already pulled down her menorah and set it up on the coffee table, in full view of the windows, the window sill being too narrow to set it up there. It was a pretty traditional design, brass-colored, with the raised shamash in the middle.

"I got this as a kid, but in college I had an electric one. I don't think it counts as lighting candles, but we couldn't have them in the dorms. Anyway, I used to live in a neighborhood where they sold candles at the supermarket but now I have to make a trip to buy them. The guy acted like I didn't know when Hanukkah was, even though I was buying candles, can you believe it?"

Alex didn't always like going to the more Orthodox bits of town to buy things like that—sometimes she'd run into a holier-than-thou type that made her feel like a bad Jew, even though she was fine, at the end of the day, with her choice not to be more observant.

* * *

 

Astra grimaced as Alex turned on the kryptonite emitters.

"It doesn't hurt, does it?" asked Alex.

Astra shook her head, "No, but it is unpleasant. It sort of... buzzes? Itches? I am not certain I know the word for it."

"And we made you go through that for weeks? I'm sorry."

"I will not say that I did not resent it, but... I became accustomed, after a time. And I understand why your people thought it necessary."

Alex noted that Astra didn't seem to include her in that. And true, by the end she hadn't been part of that number.

"Then you know why we need it today."

"Well, yes. I would hardly expect to spar with a human at full power.

Alex put up her fists. "Good, now come at me."

But instead, Astra executed a sort of... salute? At least that's what it looked like.

"What?" said Alex.

"Oh, this signals my readiness to fight, and my respect for my opponent."

"Yeah, we have things like that too." Alex bowed, as she had with some of her martial arts instructors. "Like that. Or fencers do a salute."

"Then you are ready?"

Alex nodded, and Astra attacked.

* * *

 

 _Our martial arts forms aren't all that dissimilar,_ thought Alex as she picked herself up off the floor for the fifth time. "Time out."

"You hold your own very well," said Astra. "As I expected you would."

"What was that, a few minutes ago? When you tried to pin me to the floor?" Alex had easily freed herself from Astra's grip, which had given her the best opening she'd had all day, ending with Astra on her stomach, unable to move.

"By putting pressure on that spot, it should have immobilized your—oh."

"My 'oh'?"

"Humans don't have that organ, I guess. Certainly, I know no word for it in any of your languages." Astra stepped behind Alex and placed two fingers on Alex's back, pressing firmly. "If I press here, what do you feel?"

"Um... pressure?" Alex wasn't sure what she was supposed to be feeling. It didn't hurt.

"For Kryptonians, without our powers to protect us, that is quite uncomfortable, even painful if done just a bit more forcefully." She removed her hand. "We always believed it was a vestigial organ, serving no great purpose, but it is possible it has something to do with our powers on this planet."

"Really? That would be good to know, if so. Is a weak point, even with you powers?"

Astra shrugged. "Relatively speaking. But a human would be unable to apply sufficient force there to really affect us, so we have not worried about it."

"An unarmed human, sure, but with the right weapon? Especially if it affects your powers? This could be a breakthrough. Mind if I try it?"

"Go ahead."

Alex placed her hand on Astra's back, about where she thought Astra had pressed down. "Here?"

"No, a little to the left and... down, I think."

"Here?" Alex dug in her fingertips.

"Oh!" Astra's cry was almost guttural, and it went straight to Alex's core. "Yes, that's it."

"Does it hurt?" asked Alex, pulling away her hand before Astra could make any other tantalizing noises. _Was that on purpose?_

"Not quite. You would have to press a little harder for that." Astra turned to look at her. "I wonder if humans have any weaknesses we have not discovered—we devoted precious little time to that."

"Well, there's not much point, not when you can throw us through a wall. But we should test this... and you should definitely tell Kara about this later."

* * *

 

"This is great," said Kara quietly, staring up at the sky as Astra dodged another missile. "I'm so glad she's helping us now."

"See if you say that in an hour," said Alex with a grin.

"Why, what's happening next?"

"Oh, you'll see."

* * *

 

Astra, of course, passed all of the DEO's tests with flying colors. She was a little put-out by the time she landed, if her lack of care in landing was any indication, but she let Kara wrap her in a tight hug.

"Now, little one, are you ready?"

Kara cocked her head to one side. "For what?"

"Training." She turned to look at Alex. "You didn't tell her?"

Alex grinned. "Nope. Kara, sparring with me is all well and good, but someone needs to teach you about airborne techniques. Plus, as long as you don't completely wear yourself out, you'll be less likely to be sore tomorrow, with your healing factor in full effect."

Astra nodded. "And I can teach you Kryptonian fighting forms."

Kara's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "That all sounds great, so what's the catch?"

Alex grinned. "Let's just say that Astra handed my ass to me in the sparring room earlier and I'm looking forward to seeing what she does to you."

"Alex!"

Alex ignored Kara's outburst. "Now, to reduce the risk of injury, we decided that you shouldn't use heat vision or ice breath, at least not this time. Okay?"

"Um, okay. When do we start?"

"As soon as you are ready," said Astra. She walked out into the desert a bit, took up a fighting stance and executed the same salute she had shown Alex earlier..

Kara joined her and copied it, a bit clumsily.

After that, they were a blur of motion, with intermittent spurts of rapid-fire Kryptonese coming over the com. Soon they took to the skies, Kara a blur of blue and red, Astra of black, dancing around each other in the air.

 _It's almost beautiful,_ thought Alex, regretting her inability to completely follow the action.

Alex jumped as they _slammed_ into the dirt, raising a dust cloud. As it cleared, she saw that Astra had pinned Kara to the ground.

<Remember that you can use gravity to increase your velocity and thus the force that you exert. In theory, even if we cannot create thrust in space, it ought to be possible to use a planet's gravity well to accelerate as well, though that would require carefully calculating one's trajectory before leaving the atmosphere... if you are not too out of practice, you should be capable of the calculations.> She let up her pressure on Kara's back then.

Kara jumped to her feet. <Yes, I remember. The so-called Hammer Effect.>

 _Hammer Effect? Oh, the slingshot effect._ <Why hammer?> she asked, speaking into her mic, at the risk of distracting them.

<Loth-Ur's Hammer. It was a comet in elliptical orbit around Rao. Sometimes it passed close enough to Krypton to affect the planet> said Astra.

 _Oh._ Alex didn't know why she would expect them to have the same metaphors for things like that.

They sparred for a few minutes more, then, at Astra's request, slowed down so that she could correct Kara's form. After perhaps half an hour of that, they once again saluted each other, and Kara flew over to rejoin Alex.

"I see what you mean," said Kara, still a bit out of breath, brushing dust off of her suit. "She's a tough teacher."

"What did you expect?" said Alex. "But you should be glad. It might just save your life one of these days. Are you going?"

Kara nodded. "Game night."

"With or without Lucy?"

"With."

"Awkward."

Kara shrugged. "It's not so bad. We have a chance, as long as we don't play too much Taboo, and even though they make me feel like a third wheel, I like her."

"Hmmm. Do you like her, or do you like-like her?" Alex couldn't resist.

Kara recoiled. "What? No, just regular like."

"Really? You said, and I quote, 'even I want to date her'."

Alex didn't mean it seriously, so she was quite interested to see Kara flush almost as red as her cape.

"W-well, um, no! I like James, and she's dating him, so even if I did like her, it doesn't matter anyway and um, we get along but I don't think she likes Supergirl much and-"

"Oh. My god. You _do_ like her. _And_ James. Interesting."

"Maybe. But uh, is that normal? To like more than one person at a time?"

"I don't know if it's normal for Kryptonians," said Alex with a shrug, casting a glance at Astra, who had flown back over to talk to J'onn, "but it happens to humans all the time."

"Oh. Okay. But it doesn't matter, because they're together anyway."

Alex refrained from mentioning that maybe they might consider adding a third person, because they probably wouldn't. And for all she knew, Lucy was straight. "You have to go though, right?"

"Oh! Right! Yeah, I'm going to be late! ByeAlexseeyoulater!"

Alex waved to her with a laugh, then strode over to join Astra, J'onn having stepped aside to speak with another agent.

Astra, she saw with interest, had a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead.

"She gave you quite the workout, I see."

"Yes," said Astra. "She is a quick learner. On Krypton, she was expected to join the Science Guild, but I am beginning to think that the Military Guild would have been an equally good fit."

"She's not very good at taking orders, though."

"True, but usually that can be taught," said Astra. "What were you two talking about?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just giving her a hard time." Alex hesitated a moment. _I might as well ask._ "Say, back home, was it common for someone to like more than one person at a time? Romantically, that is."

"Common? I don't know... we did not set such store by chance meetings and love matches as you do. Many, though far from all, marriages were arranged. But it did happen. I myself... well, I will spare you the details, but I _have_ been attracted to more than one person at a time. Why? Is this about Kara?"

 _Has she?_ Alex paused. "I probably shouldn't have asked. I don't know if she's comfortable talking to you about things like that."

"Very well. I will not press. And perhaps I am not the right person to give her advice, not if she is seeking a relationship with a human. Or multiple humans, as the case may be."

Alex raised an eyebrow at that and pointed at herself.

"Yes, I realize that, but still, I am not as knowledgeable as I would like in this matter..."

Alex snorted. "Give it time. For that matter, give your relationship with Kara time. It's only been a couple of months. She's still getting to know you again."

"To be honest, this is more than I could have asked for," said Astra.

The _thank you_ went unspoken, but Alex knew it was there.

* * *

 

It was movie night again, and Alex had left Astra to her own devices in order to spend a bit of quality time with Kara. Alex had brought her menorah, for old times' sake, and it sat near the windows, one last candle still guttering.

"So, I told you how I overheard one of the board members talking about hacking Cat, right?" asked Kara, reaching for another slice of pizza.

"Right."

"Well, James asked Lucy for advice about looking into it, and now she's helping with the legal side of things."

"Oh? So you're seeing more of her, then? How is that?"

Kara flushed. "It's... nice, actually. To be working _with_ her for a change. Not that we've actually spent all that much time together."

"Sounds like you aren't jealous anymore."

"I am, but... it's different."

"Different how?"

"I guess... I'm jealous of both of them? But I'm also happy for both of them. It's... confusing."

"Sounds like it," said Alex. "Feelings are always confusing. I would not recommend them."

Kara grinned. "Too late! But yeah, there have definitely been times when I would have turned them off."

Alex put an arm around Kara's shoulders and pulled her close. "I'm glad you didn't. You wouldn't be you without them."

* * *

 

Alex cursed under her breath. They should have kept a closer eye on Lord Technologies, ideally should have had someone on-site, though she doubted Lord would have allowed that, ever since Astra’s warning. They should have been more vigilant. Now, by the time they got there it might be too late. She’d hate to see people die on her watch, even Lord, in spite of her dislike of the man.

And if this raid got Non the last pieces he needed to complete Myriad? That’d be a disaster.

She checked her weapons, including the kryptonite knife, though Astra, standing beside her, grimaced as she did so. J’onn had suited up as well and left with a squad of agents.

Alex and Astra would fly over and beat them there, to be joined on-site by Supergirl, if she was available. Alex could only hope she would be.

Alex dialed Kara, in a rush. “Come on, come on, pick up!”

“Alex, we have a huge problem-” said Kara.

Whatever Kara’s problem was, it could wait. “Lord Technologies is under attack,” said Alex. “It’s Non and his men. We’re on our way, but we could really use your help.”

“Got it. Be there in five.”

As soon as Kara hung up, Alex put away her phone and threw her arms around Astra’s neck, clinging as they took to the skies.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took Loth-Ur's Hammer from the Last Days of Krypton novel (which I wouldn't necessarily recommend to Supergirl fans, since it's fairly grim and Kara doesn't exist in that continuity, even though Alura and Zor-El are supporting characters).
> 
> I fudged the dates in relation to episode airdates and Hanukkah a bit. It started on December 6, 2015.
> 
> The shamash is the one candle that's set apart, usually either raised or lowered in relation to the others, because instead of serving a ritual purpose it serves a utilitarian one. For one thing, you use it to light the others. So it's not counted as one of the candles for that day.
> 
> There are about 10 million spellings of Hanukkah in English, I've gone with Hanukkah since I believe it's the most widespread.


	16. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Astra work on their teamwork and Astra is contacted by potential allies, but Alex doesn't trust them.

Kara would probably have busted through a wall. Astra, though... she landed just outside and then, giving Alex only a fraction of a second to register that they had touched down, rushed through the door at high speed, barreling into Non, who seemed to be leading the group.

Alex followed, at a more normal pace. By the time she got inside, Astra and Non were at a standoff. She held her gun up, at the ready, trained on Non. He was dressed much the same as before, except for a faintly glowing blue device strapped across his chest.

<Astra,> said Non, sneering as he took in the sight of Alex in her DEO duds. <So you've betrayed us.>

<Need I remind you that you turned on me first, Lieutenant? Did you believe I would remain neutral in this conflict, when you abandoned me and I discovered that my niece had survived and was working with the humans?>

<This was your mission too. I never believed you would stoop so low as to betray your principles.>

Alex bit her tongue. She wanted to intervene, to argue in Astra's favor, but it was best if the enemy remained unaware that some of the human agents could understand Kryptonese.

<And I never thought you would stage a coup. I cannot now trust you to follow my original plan.> Astra took a deep breath. <And you need not. Non, we have misjudged the humans. Myriad is not necessary.>

Non stared at Astra with something akin to disbelief in his eyes. <They have brainwashed you. Men, attack!>

Non's cronies hesitated a moment, glancing from Non to Astra.

<What are you waiting for? Attack!>

And they did, ignoring Alex for the moment.

Which was stupid, if they knew about Kryptonite. Astra held one of them, a black-haired man, still for a moment, giving Alex an excellent opening. She fired.

And the kryptonite bullet bounced off in a shower of green sparks.

It didn't appear to hit Astra, but she winced at its proximity, and her opponent shook her off.

<Your weapons will no longer work on us, human,> said Non with that arrogant look that seemed to be his usual expression.

_Nothing's different... except... it has to be those devices. Maybe if I shoot them?_

But hitting a fast-moving Kryptonian was one thing. Hitting a tiny piece of plastic and metal, one which they would have every reason to protect? That would be a lot more difficult. If she could get in close, she could jam her knife into one, easy, but that was entirely too risky when dealing with a superpowered foe.

Alex tried to signal to Astra, to get her to notice the devices without tipping her hand. She wasn't sure she succeeded.

_Damnit, if it was J'onn he'd have gotten it for sure! Or Kara or Vasquez..._ someone who knew her, who she'd worked with before. In spite of their newfound bond, she just didn't know Astra well enough to have that kind of synergy before, and it gave her a surge of a kind of jealous regret, the feeling you get after you meet someone who changes your life and wish you'd met them sooner.

She shook it off as Astra duked it out with her former allies, a battle of superhumans that made the building quake. It was going badly for Astra, in spite of her much-vaunted prowess, and there was little Alex could do to help. If only the others were here!

But Astra ripped the badge off of one of the Kryptonians—not Non, to Alex's regret—and hit him, a blow that rang out and sent him sprawling to the floor, far enough from Astra for Alex to risk a shot.

It hit him in the arm. He groaned with pain, and his eyes glowed.

She dove, rolling across the floor, heat arcing across her back. Was she hit? The pain in her back argued for yes, but she was still mobile, and she raced for cover, ignoring her pain. She needed another shot, to put enough kryptonite in him to fully neutralize his powers, though it'd be more difficult to actually kill him. But he'd be wary now.

"Well, well, Agent Danvers. Perhaps I should put you on retainer."

The voice came from behind her, but she didn't need to turn to see who it was. Maxwell Lord. She'd know his particular brand of smarminess anywhere. She looked over her shoulder anyway, to see him hefting a large gun, accompanied by a couple of what were probably security guards. Not the rescue she'd hoped for, but if they could help... if.

"I didn't realize the DEO employed aliens, beside Supergirl," said Lord. "Well, this goes against my instincts but... let's even the odds."

He cocked his gun and fired. Some black, gooey-looking substance flew at one of the aliens that were currently fighting Astra. The substance struck the alien, coating his face, and he screamed, dropping to the ground, clawing at it as he lay on his back.

For a split second, Alex was almost grateful to Lord. And then she heard Astra's cry.

Astra had been hit as well, a few drops of the apparently toxic substance landing on her face and neck. She was handling it better than her opponent, but still, her face contorted in pain, and she wobbled in the air.

Non turned to stare at Lord. "You are a champion of this world?"

"I have my moments," said Lord, cocky as ever in spite of his screwup.

"You have had your last," said Non, and barreled into him, even as one of Non's men reengaged with Astra and Alex's attacker's eyes glowed again.

From her position behind a pillar, Alex let off another shot. She had no great hopes of taking him down, but if she could even get the kryptonite near him, he'd be weakened.

That's when J'onn and his squad of DEO agents burst through the door.

The fighting was a bit more even from there on out, though with so many Kryptonians present the humans were still outmatched. Lord and his men were soon out of the fight, leaving only the DEO agents, and soon Alex and Astra were not the only injured.

Alex caught a glance at Astra. The dark goop had peeled away from her skin, leaving red, painful-looking welts in its place. She was still fighting, but seemed to be having more difficulty than before.

As Alex was about to turn away, she saw one of the Kryptonians pass something to Astra, something small that she immediately hid in a pocket.

Something to ask her about later.

But then an alien had Alex in a choke-hold and she cursed her moment of inattention. She jammed an elbow into his gut, but she might as well have elbowed a wall, and she couldn't reach her knife. She tried to shoot, but he twisted her handgun away from her, and it fell to the floor, useless and twisted.

And then, just as suddenly, she was free, coughing, gasping for air.

She turned, and a blur resolved into Astra, pummeling the alien who had attacked her.

And they say chivalry is dead.

Alex drew her knife and cast around for any other weapons. There it was—one of the new Kryptonite guns the DEO had been testing, a beam weapon of sorts, instead of bullets. She'd been itching to try one out.

It's not that she wanted to have to use it, but there was something about a gun like that... it was power.

She grabbed for it, scooped it up, turned back in time to see Astra rip the device off the guy's chest, aimed, and fired.

He collapsed to the ground with a satisfying thud, probably unconscious, not dead. Alex smiled at Astra. They made a good team, after all.

But her moment of triumph was cut short when strong fingers plucked the knife from her hand and held it to her throat.

<Who is this human? What is she to you?>

It was Non, and Alex had never been quite as good at gauging tone in Kryptonese as in English, but he sounded angry. Or jealous, maybe? He should be jealous.

But it was hard to feel triumphant with a blade to her throat. Kryptonite or no, it'd kill her just the same.

Astra looked worried, the welts on her face an angry red in sharp contrast to her pallor. <Non...>

<It would be poetic, to kill them with their own toys, would it not? You always liked poetic just->

Non's speech cut off as something _slammed_ into him from above.

The knife slipped across Alex's skin, then was flung away, clattering across the floor. Alex dropped to her knees, putting a hand to the wetness on her neck, and suddenly Astra was there, checking her wound, her eyes bright with worry, one hand hovering near Alex's shoulder.

"I'm fine," said Alex, though she wasn't really sure. "What happened?"

"Supergirl," said Astra, a hint of a smile on her lips. "She did what I showed her."

"Shouldn't you be fighting?" asked Alex, resisting the urge to check Astra's wounds, which looked minor in any case, if painful.

Astra nodded and stood. Then her eyes widened and she was gone, back into the fray.

Alex fished around for something to stop the bleeding, though it was already slowing. She found a pack of tissues in her pocket and pressed one to the cut, holding her huge gun one-handed.

She watched as Astra knocked Non away from J'onn, and as Kara dove to catch J'onn as he fell, barely managing it.

If she hadn't known about J'onn's powers she'd have been more worried.

One of Non's men flew over to him and whispered something in his ear. Non nodded sharply, though his jaw was clenched, and gestured to his followers. In a few quick movements they assembled, gathering up their wounded, and took to the skies.

_Did we win?_

Alex surveyed the destruction. The atrium was a shambles, broken glass, concrete, metal, and stone scattered across the floor. Both of Lord's guards were nursing what appeared to be minor injuries, as were some of the DEO agents.

Kara made a move as if to follow Non, but Astra stopped her with a hand on her arm and a shake of her head, and Kara finally seemed to notice that Astra was injured. She raised a trembling hand towards Astra's face but Astra brushed it aside.

<I will be fine. See to your sister.>

Kara dropped to the ground and strode towards Alex. "Are you okay?" Her eyes seemed to fix on the tissue Alex held to her neck.

"I'm fine." She pulled it away, showing Kara the wound.

"Yeah, okay, it doesn't look too bad." She wrapped her arms around Alex.

Alex hissed with pain and pulled away. "Actually, my back is probably worse. Heat vision, you know."

"Turn around and let me look."

"Really?"

Kara raised an eyebrow. "X-ray vision. Duh."

Alex turned.

"Doesn't look too bad. First degree burns, maybe some second-degree at the worst."

"Hurts like hell, though."

"Yes, but that's a good sign, right?"

* * *

  
Maxwell Lord was less than grateful for their intervention, and Alex had the distinct impression that he was hiding something. She tried to convince him, using the excuse that they needed to know what the aliens had been after, but it was no use.

"Ask your pet aliens, Agent Danvers. And don't come back without an invitation."

* * *

 

The DEO's doctors agreed with Kara—the damage was quite shallow and it should heal in a week or two. In the meantime, though, she'd have to sleep on her stomach and cover the worst bits so her clothing wouldn't chafe. Astra's chemical burns, on the other hand, had nearly healed by the time they got home, fading to a pale pink.

* * *

 

After dinner, Astra slung on her jacket. "I have some errands to run. I should be back in an hour or two." She tried to walk towards the door, but Alex blocked her.

"I know one of those guys slipped you something," she said. "You wouldn't by any chance be meeting with him?"

Astra sighed. "Perhaps I should have told you, but I knew you would oppose it. Trust me, Alex, this is for the best."

"Is it though? What if it's a trap? And even if it isn't, how is it going to look, you meeting secretly with one of your former subordinates, without so much as telling me? The director doesn't trust you as much as I do, and his superiors don't even know you. If General Lane, or someone like him, catches wind of this-"

"What do you take me for? I know the risks. More than that, I know how to evade detection."

"What did he want, anyway?"

"He is not content with Non's leadership, nor is he the only one who feels that way. I might be able to convince him, or some of the others, to defect. You saw how they hesitated to attack me."

"But they attacked you anyway."

"Because Non was there, and he is still their leader, even if they resent him."

Alex shook her head. "I don't buy it. I mean, I believe you when you say that not all the aliens are happy with Non, but... I don't buy that they're just innocently trying to talk with you. How well do you know these people? Can you be sure that Non or another of your enemies didn't put them up to this?"

"The Kryptonians, I've known for decades. Many of them were under my command even before I started work on Myriad, before I realized that Krypton was doomed. The others he mentions... since Fort Rozz, perhaps longer, in some cases."

"But can you trust them, really trust them?"

"I... at one time I would have said yes, without any doubt. But now... things have changed, the last few years, and Non has likely turned them against me with lies and half-truths. I do not know. But still... this is too great an opportunity to pass up, is it not?"

"If it's for real."

Astra took a step closer and looked Alex in the eye. "What will it take for you to let me do this?"

Alex bit her lip. Her instincts—to protect those she cared about—were warring with her desire to see this conflict to a prompt and preferably bloodless end, and her training, as a DEO agent, that urged her to seek more information.

"Let me put a tracker on you. Or better yet, in you, where they won't be able to do anything about it."

"In me?"

"R&D recently developed a tracker you can swallow. With your metabolism, it probably won't last as long as for a human, but it'll give us a few hours at least, maybe a couple of days, if they kidnap you. Secondly... let me tell J'onn. He may have a way to follow you discreetly, offer backup if necessary."

"That is prudent. Very well, you may tell him." She considered for a long moment, then reached into her pocket and produced a notepad and pen, scrawling something on one of the pages before handing the page to Alex.

Alex stared at it. It was in Kryptonese. Numbers... coordinates?

"These are the coordinates of their last known base. Don't share them with the DEO unless it becomes necessary."

"Unless you disappear and we can't track you, you mean." Alex nodded, folded the paper and put it in her pocket.

Astra strode towards the fire escape, instead of the door where she had originally been headed. "Well, come along. We'll need to visit the DEO first, and to get there in time for my rendez-vous, we'd better fly."

Alex nodded, joining her. She put her arms around Astra's neck. "How long do we have?"

"About half an hour," said Astra, gripping Alex tightly around the waist.

They shot into the air, leaving Alex with the queasy sensation of having left her stomach somewhere behind her.

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later, at the DEO, everything was ready. Astra had swallowed a tracker, as had J'onn, and both were standing in the DEO hangar preparing to fly. Since J'onn's identity was still a secret from the DEO, Astra would have to carry him for the first leg of the journey, until they exited the range of the DEO's security cameras. Alex desperately wished she could accompany them, but they'd both agreed that mission would be more dangerous the more people got involved.

J'onn smiled at her as he checked his gear one last time. "I'll bring her back."

"Bring yourself back, too," said Alex. "And one of those kryptonite blockers, if you can manage it."

"I'll do my best," said Astra with a smile, and Alex ached to touch her. To kiss her, possibly one last time (but God, she hoped not). But she couldn't, not with J'onn there, never mind that with his abilities he probably knew—or suspected—the nature of their relationship.

She pushed that aside as they flew away, then turned on her heels and returned to the command center to wait with Vasquez, who knew the outlines of the operation, if not the details.

_Kara will kill me if Astra dies,_ thought Alex. _And she'll risk everything if Astra gets captured, this soon after they found each other... after I found Astra._

Alex didn't want to think about what it would do to her if either of them died.

* * *

 

"Ma'am," said Susan, acknowledging her presence.

"Are the trackers working?" asked Alex.

"Yes, ma'am." Susan pointed to what appeared to be a single dot on her screen, heading off at high speed into the desert. On closer inspection, there were actually two dots, almost entirely overlapping.

Alex resisted the urge to pat her pocket, where the scrap of paper with the coordinates of the enemy base was hidden. She'd need them if the trackers failed, if either of the two got captured, but she also remembered the picture Astra had painted of the likely results of a full-frontal attack. If Astra could pull off this maneuver, they'd be one step closer to victory.

If not, they might have to do things the hard way.

* * *

 

Strictly speaking, J'onn was too important to risk. As director of the DEO, he knew far too much. If anyone else had had his abilities, she'd have sent them in his place.

But he was the only Martian they had—quite possibly the only Martian, period. If she hadn't been so close to this, so close to Astra, maybe she would have sent Astra in alone. Maybe that would have been the more rational choice. She couldn't tell.

"Vasquez, I'm going to the break room. Do you want anything? Coffee?"

"No, ma'am," said Susan. Then she turned to look at Alex, and gave her a quick smile. "But thank you."

_Well, that's one mercy,_ thought Alex as she headed for the break room. _It seems like she's forgiven me._

She pulled down a jar of instant coffee she shared with several other agents, and a container of coffee creamer that she shared with Astra and occasionally Kara. Kara had bought it, of course—she was the only person Alex knew who drank spiced pumpkin drinks year round.

While the water boiled, she checked her messages. Nothing. Which meant no major emergencies, but also no news about Astra and J'onn.

Inaction was killing her, like an itch along her bones. And coffee would do nothing to fix that, but making it kept her hands and her mind busy, if only for a few moments.

* * *

 

"Have they made contact yet?" asked Alex, returning with a steaming cup of overly sweet, downright nasty caffeinated goop.

"No, ma'am. They appear to have reached the rendezvous point, but they're early."

Sure enough, the two dots had stopped, somewhere out in the California desert.

"I should listen in. They might do this in Kryptonese."

"Be my guest," said Vasquez. She handed Alex an earpiece, and Alex settled down in the chair next to her, just like old times.

Alex had done a number of shifts at these desks in her early days at the DEO, getting a sense for the department's operations before she was cleared for missions in the field. She fell easily into her old routine, splitting her attention between the monitors and her earpiece. Not that there was much to watch... yet.

" _Ehrosh :bem, Uhmpahr Astra_."

Alex recognized the title, vaguely—it denoted a high rank in the Kryptonian military, doubtless whatever they had translated to 'General' for use in English. What she didn't recognize was the voice. It sounded like a man, though.

" _Ehrosh :bem_ ," replied Astra.

<You are alone?> asked the male voice.

<I am,> said Astra.

Alex could see, of course, that J'onn's little dot was still somewhere nearby. Clearly he'd found a way to observe the proceedings without being seen.

"They're exchanging greetings," said Alex to Vasquez. "Nothing significant so far."

She doubted she'd be able to really function as an interpreter, once the negotiations were in full swing, but this was being recorded and in the mean time she could at least give Vasquez the highlights.

<I represent a group of like-minded— Cythonna's tits!>

A loud bang, followed by a series of what sounded like gunshots, interrupted the conversation.

"We're under fire," said J'onn in a low voice. "I don't think I've been made."

<General, you've betrayed us!> shouted the Kryptonian, and a sizzling sound came over the com, followed by more bangs and whooshing air.

<I did not! They must have followed me!>

<Liar!>

"Get out of there!" said Alex into her mic.

The sounds of combat faded, replaced by wind, and the two dots moved rapidly across the map, one well ahead of the other. Then, some distance from the fighting, they regrouped.

"Did you tell the military about this?" demanded Astra.

"Why would I do that?" asked J'onn. "No, they must be keeping tabs on us. We should get back."

"Very well."

* * *

 

"Where is Director Henshaw?"

Alex turned to see the source of that deep, barking voice. _General Lane? What's he doing back here?_

"He's stepped out for a moment, sir. Can I help you with anything?"

Translation: can I get you out of here?

"You can explain why one of your pet aliens was meeting with alien hostiles, unsupervised." He slapped a photo down on the table, and Alex picked it up.

It was dark, grainy, but Alex could make out Astra, floating over the desert outside the DEO, speaking with a man in Kryptonian uniform. It must have been taken just before the shooting began.

Alex opened up her mouth to reply, but J'onn cut her off. He looked calm, put together, as though he hadn't just escaped from a firefight by flying at high speeds across the desert. Of course, he had many years' experience hiding how he really felt.

"She was hardly unsupervised. I was aware of the meeting, as were Agents Danvers and Vasquez. We took every precaution to ensure that it went off without a hitch, which it might have, were it not for your forces' interference."

"Oh? And where is the alien now? Helping her cronies escape?"

"I am right here, General," said Astra, chilly, as she strode into the room. She was chilly in the way of cold steel and flint, ready to strike a spark at any moment, and Alex, for one, was glad not to have to see that side of her more regularly.

"How is it, General Lane, that your people interrupted mine so quickly? Have you been spying on us?"

"Director Henshaw-"

"General, this meeting could have gotten us vital intel! And yet your people ruined everything!"

"Or it could have been this alien's way of betraying you! You've gotten soft, Henshaw."

"General Lane, with all due respect, it's my job to make sure that my people are trustworthy, not yours, as long as I remain in charge of the DEO. So unless you have _other_ business here today, I'm sure any of my agents would be pleased to help you find your way out."

Lane glared at J'onn for a moment before turning on his heels and heading for the door.

"That's not the last we'll hear from him," said J'onn in a low voice. "But that went better than it might have."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't follow me on tumblr, this chapter was somewhat delayed because I felt gross this weekend


	17. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex lets Maxwell Lord wine and dine her while J'onn sneaks into Lord Technologies. Meanwhile, Kara is dealing with the Toyman and Winn, and continuing to wrestle with her feelings for James and Lucy.

"Hey, what's up?" asked Alex, joining Kara at her table at Noonan's, coffee in hand. "I heard about the thing with Winn's dad."

Kara sighed. "I wish I could help more."

"Leave it to the FBI. They're more qualified to deal with this kind of thing. Your job is to be there for your friend, if he wants you to be."

"I can do that. It just makes me feel... useless."

Alex nodded. "We all feel like that, sometimes. I'm here, though, if you need to talk."

Kara poked a piece of sticky bun with her fork. "There's something else."

"What?" asked Alex, trying not to tense.

"Cat's trying to headhunt Lucy," said Kara.

"Oh. Is that a good thing?" _At least it's not a dangerous alien thing._

"Yes! No! I don't know! I mean, it'll be nice to see her more, but she'll end up hanging out with James more, too and I'm gonna feel like a third wheel! Story of my life!"

Alex looked up when she saw movement. It was Lucy Lane, and she tried to signal Kara to stop, but to no avail.

"And it'll be awkward because she—"

"What's the story of your life? And what's awkward?" asked Lucy from behind Kara.

"Lucy! Oh, uh, nothing," said Kara, turning red.

Lucy eyed Alex curiously.

_Well, time to pretend I haven't met her before, because Kara's not supposed to know about my work..._ Alex stood and held out her hand. "Alex Danvers. Kara's sister. And you are?"

Lucy's eyes widened. "Lucy Lane." Lucy's handshake was firm, but not excessively so. "So, you were saying?"

"Oh, nothing! Nothing at all!" Kara waved it away. "So, um, how's it going?"

"Good. Still thinking about Cat's offer, actually."

"Kara mentioned that her boss was thinking of hiring you?" prompted Alex.

"She is," confirmed Lucy.

_She seems tense,_ thought Alex. _Probably doesn't want to get chummy with a DEO agent, even though she's not in the Army anymore._ "I can get going, if you two want to chat more... privately." She wanted it to sound a bit suggestive, but Lucy didn't seem to notice.

"No, it's fine, I'm meeting James in a few minutes anyway. So... Alex, was it? What do you do?"

_This is ridiculous. We all know what I do, and I could say it if only I didn't have to hide_ why _Kara knows..._ "I'm a bioengineer, I work in a lab." _At least I know how to lie._ "You're a lawyer, right? According to Kara."

"That's right. I recently resigned my commission, but I was in JAG for several years."

_At least_ JAG _officially exists_.

It was James who rescued them from the awkwardness. "Good morning, Lucy!" He waved, cheerful, then noticed Alex. "Hi Kara, Alex."

"I didn't know you knew Kara's sister," said Lucy, frowning.

"Well, I meet Kara here on a somewhat regular basis," said Alex. _A bit less regularly now that I'm with Astra, but..._ "So we've met a couple of times."

"Ah," said Lucy with a nod, smiling once more. "It was nice meeting you. See you around."

Alex watched her go. "You should invite me to game night sometime."

"What? You can't invite yourself, that's not how invitations work. And I thought you weren't interested."

"I'm serious. All I know about Lucy is what you tell me, and what I've seen at work. If you're into her... I want to know more."

"Alex!" Kara swatted at Alex's arm, then continued in a whisper. "She'll hear! Plus, nothing's ever gonna happen."

Alex turned to look at Lucy, who was happily chatting with James. They certainly looked like a happy couple. "If you say so. I still want to go."

"I'll think about it," said Kara, "but no picking on Winn if you do come. I think you scared five years off of his life last time."

"I wasn't even trying, I swear!" Okay, maybe she'd been trying a little. But she didn't really regret it.

"I'm serious! He's my friend! Try to be nice to him."

"Okay, fine. Anything for my baby sister."

Kara rolled her eyes as Alex took another sip of coffee and stood to leave.

* * *

 

"Times have changed," said Alex. "It's not just Superman anymore. The world loves Supergirl, and even Astra's been helping—"

"Your sister looks like a pretty blonde cheerleader," said J'onn. "J'onn J'onzz looks like a monster. I will never be tolerated here on Earth."

"He is right, you know. Some of our number... former prisoners, those who could blend in, did. Even I lived among humans, at times. But many of us did not have that luxury, nor even that of taking a form that looked human. You may not hold such prejudices, Alex, but I believe there are more among you that fear us than that accept us... especially those of us whose difference they cannot ignore."

J'onn nodded. "And the more time I spend as Hank Henshaw, the less I have to face what I've lost."

_The loss of his world, his people? Of a place where he fits in? Sure, Kara looks human, but I don't think it helps her to ignore her past..._

"I understand," said Alex with some frustration, "that you both have your reasons for staying hidden. But we need to know what Lord is after. Please, just hear me out."

* * *

 

"I thought I was done with dating scumbag dudes when I realized I was gay in grad school," grumbled Alex. "And yet here I am." _I mean, it_ was _my idea, but still..._

"Well," said Astra, putting her hands on Alex's hips and planting a hot, wet kiss on the juncture of jaw and throat that sent a welcome heat right to her core, "come back to me tonight and I promise to make you forget he ever existed."

"Astra..." moaned Alex, "I have no idea who you're talking about."

"See? There you go."

"I'd still rather just kick his ass. But if this is what it takes to find out what he's hiding, I'll do it."

* * *

 

Dinner with Maxwell Lord was exactly the kind of posturing Alex didn't miss, though the fancy surroundings weren't _bad_ , per se. Just the company, the clothing, and the... food. If you could call it that.

She swallowed the snail eggs with as much grace as she could manage. _Pretty sure that's not kosher..._

Not that she _kept_ kosher—she was a bit too fond of cheeseburgers for that—but it would have been a good excuse not to eat anything at the table.

_Is he_ trying _to gross me out? Maybe he doesn't realize he doesn't have to_ try.

"Look, the aliens that invaded your lab are very dangerous. We need to know what they were looking for." Alex knew what they'd been looking for, but that wasn't what interested her. _What_ _i_ _s_ _Max_ _hiding? Why_ _i_ _s he so cagey?_ _I'm pretty sure it's not_ just _him trying to get into my pants._

"Funny you should mention danger and aliens but not a word about Supergirl... or that other alien that was fighting alongside you. You two seemed pretty chummy, if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you. And you should be grateful."

He snorted. "Grateful? After all the damage those two did?"

"Supergirl saves lives." _So does Astra, if not as directly._

"So do you. And you're avoiding the subject. Who was that woman? And what is your connection to Supergirl?"

"My organization has a professional partnership with her," said Alex, ignoring the first question.

"You're protecting her, whoever she is. Interesting." He leaned back. "The aliens didn't take anything. I have everything in my lab itemized. Nothing was missing."

Alex sighed. "Then why were they there?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," said Lord, his expression all too knowing. "You seem to know a lot more about them than I do." He hefted his glass. "To Alex Danvers. Hero in her own right."

Alex toasted. _That would be a lot more validating coming from literally anyone else._

* * *

 

Alex was exhausted and annoyed. At Lord's pretenses and creepy flirting, at having to pretend she didn't totally hate his guts (she hadn't gone to the trouble of pretending to be interested... perhaps she could have gotten something more that way, but it was too risky and too irritating), at the stupid plan that had required her to go out with him in the first place. She just wanted to get home, change, and go hang out with Kara and maybe Astra. Let her guard down, just be a person again, not a secret agent or the piece of meat Lord seemed to see her as.

She stepped out of the car into the dim light of the DEO parking garage, cursing the painful, impractical heels she'd worn.

Behind her, there was a whoosh of air, and a thunk. A very particular thunk, the sound of someone landing, hard but not so hard as to damage the pavement. Someone careful.

She spun.

Striding towards her was Astra, still in her DEO duds. Her eyes flicked over Alex's body, and her mouth squeezed into a narrow line, as though she were angry. But she'd been in on the plan from the beginning. She couldn't be angry at the date itself... had she followed them? Heard or seen something? Not that there was anything... the interest, such as it was, was completely one-sided. If it was even genuine.

Astra stopped in front of her, her face still caught in that worrying expression.

"Astr-"

Before she could finish saying it, Astra's finger was on her lips, stopping her.

"What?"

Astra gestured down. Towards her handbag?

Alex followed Astra's gaze, and her blood boiled. There, attached to the strap, was a tiny camera. And she'd been so lost in thought that she'd missed it! _That motherfucker._

She turned to meet Astra's gaze. _Well, what the hell_ , she thought. _Let's make him jealous._

She glanced around the parking structure. They were alone, and half-shielded from the DEO's cameras by the SUV behind Astra. She wiggled her eyebrows.

Astra frowned for a moment, then nodded minutely, all the confirmation she needed.

Alex reached out, wrapped a hand around the back of Astra's head, pulled her in for a kiss. With the angle of the camera, Lord (or his goons) wouldn't see much, so she moaned into it. She slid her leg between Astra's, pressing, and felt Astra twitch against her.

"Alex..." sighed Astra, clearly getting into the performance as well. She planted a kiss, then another, along Alex's neck, her hand mussing Alex's hair.

This time Alex's moan was genuine, turned on in spite of the loathsome audience. Or because of it? The joy of finally getting a little, petty revenge on Lord, of showing him what he'd never get to have?

Astra leaned back, just enough to look Alex in the eye, and her hand darted out to grab the camera. She held it up so Alex could look in the lens.

"Enjoy the show, asshole, because this is the only time you'll get to see me like this," said Alex. She could imagine him raging, maybe smashing a hand against his keyboard, at the way they'd foiled his scheme.

Then again, maybe he'd enjoy the fantasy...

Alex shivered, more at that thought than the chill in the air, as Astra very efficiently dismantled the little device, then extracted a plastic bag from one of her pockets and slipped the device inside.

* * *

 

Alex felt a wave of relief as she finally yanked off her heels. "Wearing these is just as painful as being punched by a Kryptonian. And Lord left me a little present."

J'onn's eyebrows rose as Astra held out the evidence bag. "Tell me he didn't get anything off of that."

"Astra spotted it in the parking garage. In any case, I suspect he's more interested in Supergirl than the DEO as such." _And in Astra, maybe. Did he see her face? If he recognized her from the attack, that little stunt we pulled may have been a mistake..._

J'onn sighed. "So he might know the location of the DEO now, but that's about it. Good work, Astra. Alex... I'm just glad this didn't cost us more."

Alex was already kicking herself for her inattention. She grimaced. "What about you? Did you get anything?"

"I got a couple of shots," said J'onn.

Alex stared at the photos, a young blonde girl, unconscious, an IV in her arm. _Is it a coincidence that she looks a bit like Kara? Or is that why he picked her for... whatever this is?_

* * *

 

As soon as they got home, Alex left a message for Kara, asking her to call back. She'd changed into something more comfortable at the DEO, and felt more like herself again.

Almost as soon as she hung up, Astra came up behind her and nuzzled her neck.

"You looked gorgeous earlier, but am I right in saying that you did not enjoy dressing like that?"

"You're right," said Alex, letting herself lean back against Astra. "Especially not for Max."

"Then I will not ask it of you."

"You could, you know," said Alex, turning to face Astra. "I'd do it for you. I might skip the bulletproof dress, but..."

"That is kind of you, but I would rather you not... put yourself out? I believe that is the phrase."

Alex planted a firm kiss on Astra's lips at that.

Astra leaned back, smirking. "Besides, those tight pants of yours were more than adequate."

"Adequate, huh?" Alex let her mouth quirk into a smile. "Is that all?"

"No, you were—"

Alex never got to find out what Astra was going to say, because her phone rang.

"Hey Kara."

"Can you come to game night after all?" asked Kara. Her voice on the phone sounded shaky.

"Why, what happened? I heard you got Toyman, by the way. Nice work."

"It's just... Winn, he, he kissed me."

"He _kissed_ you?" On the one hand, that took guts that Alex hadn't known Winn possessed. On the other... Kara seemed upset, so she probably hadn't agreed to it. "Against your will?"

"Yes..." said Kara. "I mean, I guess. It's not like I said no..."

"But did you say yes?"

"No..."

"Then he shouldn't have assumed it was okay. Wait, _are_ you okay?" _She doesn't_ sound _okay._

"I'll be fine, just... he said he couldn't ignore his feelings anymore."

"Lemme guess... you never did give him the speech about not being interested, and then when he kissed you you freaked out."

"No... and yes. Is this my fault? Did I mess things up?"

"No. Listen, sure, you could have been clearer, but he's the one who didn't check with you, who overstepped. Okay? And if he's upset about how things turned out when he's the one that kissed you even though you didn't want it... it's his job to get over it. Even if you forgive him for that."

"I'm not mad at him," said Kara.

"And that's fine." _If Lord had kissed me like that I'd have knocked him into the next week, though. Of course, Winn isn't anywhere near as bad as Lord is._

After the call, Alex was happy to let Astra pick up where she’d left off, to lose herself in sweet touches, lips on her skin and fingers slipped under her waistband, in the surety of Astra’s strength and in hands that could do things no human ever could.

* * *

 

A few nights later, Alex opened the door to Kara's apartment when she heard someone knock. It was Lucy.

"Alex." Lucy still seemed distrustful.

"Kara asked me to come, since Winn won't be here tonight. Apparently they had a disagreement." Alex stepped to the side to let Lucy in, noting that Lucy had brought what appeared to be hard cider. "Better watch out, me and Kara make a pretty good team."

"Oh, I think James and I can take you."

"You're on," said Alex with a grin. It didn't surprise her, after what she'd seen during the Red Tornado incident, that Lucy has a competitive side. And if this was how they got to know each other, Alex was fine with it.

* * *

 

"Face it, you lost, fair and square," said Alex. She wasn't one to gloat... well, she'd gotten off on the wrong foot with Lucy, so when it came to her... she'd gloat. Not that it had been easy, winning—they'd put up a good fight.

"I'm woman enough to admit it," said Lucy. "How do you two do it? Psychic powers?"

Alex laughed, but Kara shot bolt upright in her chair.

"Super powers? No, nuh-uh, nope,none of that here." Kara's voice got a bit squeaky, the way it did when she was lying particularly desperately (and thus, particularly badly).

Lucy looked at her oddly. "No one's accusing you of anything, Kara."

Kara slumped back down in her chair again, looking at Lucy with something like pain in her eyes. She bit her lip, visibly nervous. "We're friends, right? I can trust you?" she said after a moment.

_Kara, no._ Alex wished that she really did have psychic powers, to tell Kara to stop.

Lucy frowned, but she nodded. "Of course."

Kara lifted her hand to her glasses and paused there, her fingers moving nervously along the frame. Then she pulled them off and set them down in her lap. She quickly yanked her hair free from her updo, so that it fell around her shoulder in soft Supergirl curls (Alex was a little jealous of Kara's hair, sometimes).

Kara took a deep breath. "I'm not wearing the suit right now, but I'm Supergirl."

Lucy's mouth hung open for a moment, then she seemed to collect herself as she looked Kara up and down.

"You're Supergirl." Somehow, Lucy didn't sound surprised. "Of course. Everything makes sense now. I was the only one who didn't know, wasn't I?" Her eyes hardened, and she moved to stand. "I'm leaving."

"Luce-" James put a hand on her arm, as if to stop her, but she shook him off.

"Kara, maybe you don't know this, but James does. I hate liars, more than anything." She softened a bit. "I'm not... look, it's good that you told me, but I'm not going to just sit here and pretend that it's okay that you lied to me."

Alex took one look at Kara's expression—sad, surprised, defeated, hurt—and moved between Lucy and the door, her arms crossed. "Listen, I didn't want her to tell you but now that she has, please do her the courtesy of hearing her out."

Lucy mirrored her pose, matching her glare for glare. "Or you'll what? Make me?"

Alex shook her head and dropped her arms to her sides, trying to diffuse the tension. "I won't do anything. I didn't mean it as a threat. Just, please. For Kara's sake?"

Lucy nodded and uncrossed her arms, then turned back to Kara. "I'm listening."

"I wanted to tell you sooner," said Kara. "I knew... after the hack, and after I got to know you, I knew you'd be a great help. I know you can keep a secret."

"Then why? Why hide? Why _lie_ to me? Why do you, why do aliens lie?"

_There's something there... some history. She has a reason to dislike liars, beyond just a general sense of justice or ethics or whatever,_ thought Alex. _No wonder she dislikes the DEO._

"Because we're scared," said Kara.

Lucy snorted. "Scared? You're bulletproof. You can fly. Shoot lasers out of your eyes. What have you got to be afraid of?"

"True, but... maybe you won't understand this but... has there never been anything you were afraid to tell people? Something... not something bad, but something important? And you were afraid they would judge you, hold it against you, use it to hurt you?" Kara fiddled with her glasses in her hands, hard enough that Alex worried she might break them. "Just to fit in on this world, we have to... I've had to betray my own principles, hide so much of what makes me, me. For my own safety and that of my family." She looked at Alex as she said it.

Alex nodded. She felt bad about that, sometimes, that she hadn't let Kara be the hero she longed to be sooner, but at the same time, if it had kept Kara safe, she could never truly regret it.

"But I suppose you've never felt like that," said Kara.

Lucy looked down at the floor for a moment, then up at the ceiling. She looked like she was fighting with herself. Finally she looked Kara in the eyes and said, "I have felt like that." She sighed. "I didn't realize. I still wish you had told me sooner, but I suppose after that reaction, you had every right to worry. I'm... sorry."

"So... we're still friends?"

"If... if you want to be," said Lucy, glancing from Kara to Alex.

"Of course!" Kara bounced in her seat. "Oh my gosh, this is going to be great!"

Alex snorted. "Good luck Lane, I think you've just been recruited."

"Recruited? For what?"

"Welcome," said Kara, with all the grandeur Supergirl could muster. "to the Supersquad." She slumped back onto the couch, ruining the effect. "If, um, if you want."

Lucy turned to James, her eyes narrow. "Is that where you've been disappearing to?"

"Uh, yeah."

Alex facepalmed. "She's been working at CatCo what, a couple of days and she already noticed? You three are that obvious?"

"Three?" asked Lucy. "Oh, let me guess, Winn. I think I'm going to want to know everything about this... Supersquad."


	18. Vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big ole content warning for this one: I make the Holocaust parallels a lot more explicit in this fic than in the actual White Martian episode, since Alex in this fic is Jewish and related to a Holocaust survivor. They start in the second half of the chapter, after the White Martian's second appearance.

Alex jogged towards her favorite coffee shop. It was early still, and they wouldn't be open yet, but she'd go around the block a few times until they opened.

It was cool out, for National City, which was usually warm even in January, but this early the air had a certain damp chill, with a breeze coming off the water. The sky was clear, with no clouds and little smog. Even at this hour, there were a few cars on the road, but not many on a side street like this. The thrum of their movement, a few blocks away, was almost soothing.

But something was wrong.

Alex had been getting that feeling, over the last few days, on and off—something itchy on the back of her neck, a tingle in her spine, like something or someone was watching her, following her. But no matter how much she ran, or how quickly she spun to look, she never did catch a glimpse of her pursuer.

Maybe she was just imagining things.

She shrugged it off, as she had before, and continued her run.

* * *

 

Astra was out of bed by the time she returned. She had dressed, and stood at the window, her back to the door, her long hair loose around her shoulders.

It was still a marvel to see her as relaxed as this—really relaxed, the way she'd only gotten once the cuff was off, not guarded as she'd been in the bar or wary, as she'd been with her powers gone.

It made her look almost ordinary.

It made her look even more beautiful.

_God, she's made me into such a sap,_ thought Alex as she pushed the door closed with her foot. She was carrying two coffees, though Astra hardly needed the caffeine, and a bag with a few pastries.

Astra turned at the sound of the door, though she had to have heard Alex coming up. Alex wanted to freeze that moment, store it up for the almost inevitable harder days to come, preserve the cool morning air, the half-smile on her lover's face, the way the sunlight caught in Astra's hair, the blood thrumming in her veins from the run, the smell of coffee and cinnamon and butter.

"Brought you some snacks," said Alex, raising the bag. "And a coffee, if you want it."

"Thank you," said Astra after a moment, as if she, too, had been lost in thought.

* * *

 

"You know, I got a funny feeling on the way to the coffee shop," said Alex as she watched Astra demolish a muffin. "I've been getting it the past couple of days, especially around the neighborhood."

"Hmm?" said Astra, looking up, still relaxed but focused, now.

"Yeah, like someone... or something... is following me."

"Ah." Astra's eyebrows rose. "I would trust your instincts, were I in your boots."

"Shoes."

Astra ignored the correction. "It is strange, however, that you would notice such a thing and I would not. Though perhaps, whatever it is has only been watching you. I will be on the lookout, in the future."

"Good," said Alex, though she wasn't entirely sure it _was_ good—she didn't want to put Astra on edge if it was just her imagination.

* * *

 

Alex was getting that itchy feeling in the back of her neck again. She needed to find a way to observe her observer with scaring them off. If indeed someone was watching and she wasn't just being paranoid. She looked for a reflective surface, a way to see behind her without turning. The shop window across the street might do it, although if they were clever they'd find a way to stay out of sight, even so.

CRACK! Something tumbled to the ground near her. She spun to look.

It was a drone, very similar in design, at least outwardly, to the one that had chased Kara. It lay broken on the pavement, with no visible trace of whatever had caused the damage, but a sizable dent in its frame.

Alex eyed it warily and moved her hand towards her gun. It wasn't armed, was it?

Then she turned at the sound of footsteps, relaxing when she saw Astra.

"Did you break that thing?" she asked, still hesitating to approach it.

"Yes. I threw a rock."

"A rock?"

"I do not know what sensors it had... I believed it prudent not to reveal that you had been aided by a Kryptonian by using heat vision."

"This is becoming a habit, you saving me. Still, I can't believe I didn't spot it. I'm beginning to feel like a bad agent."

"You knew it was there, did you not?" asked Astra.

"Yeah." Alex stared down at it for a moment. "Well, assuming it's safe, we should get it off the street."

"It is unarmed," said Astra. "I made certain of that before I made my move."

"Looks like one of Max's again," said Alex, though she couldn't be sure. "Should have known he wouldn't just leave us alone."

This was, Alex was certain, only the beginning.

* * *

 

Alex leaned up against the wall at Noonan's, watching a young man attempt to flirt with her sister, an amused smile on her face. Kara seemed completely oblivious.

Next to her, Astra was saying something, but Alex hadn't been listening, caught up in Kara's love life... or lack thereof.

"Sorry, what was that?" Alex turned to look at Astra. She shouldn't take this for granted, she realized. Anything could happen tomorrow.

"I was saying that this beverage is strange," said Astra.

"What'd you get?"

"A... 'tea latte'. I am not sure I like it."

"Well, to each her own..." Alex watched the guy who'd been flirting with Kara leave, and took that as her opportunity to rejoin Kara. "Please tell me you realized that guy was flirting with you."

Kara laughed. "No. I would not call that flirting. He was... he was friendly."

"You know that's why you're still single, right? I mean, it's not your looks, or your personality... well, maybe it is your personality..." Alex couldn't resist getting in a little jab.

"Hey!"

"But seriously, you're caring, you're funny, you're smart... maybe not as much as I am..."

"Alex!"

Astra, for her part, was gazing, intrigued, in the direction where the guy had gone. "What do we know about him?"

"Nothing!" said Kara. "Anyway, he's not..."

Alex smirked and cocked her head to one side. "He's not what? Or is it who?"

Kara flushed. "It's not like that!"

Alex just raised an eyebrow at that. "And the way you were defending your boss... should I add her to the list of crushes?"

Alex couldn't be certain, but Kara appeared to turn even redder.

"No, no, we are not having this conversation. First off, she's my boss. I look up to her, but that's it."

"And secondly?"

"I um... hadn't thought that far. The point is, you're wrong."

"Okay." _I hope so,_ thought Alex, _because that's one crush that's never going to work out well for her._

"I'm serious! Yes, I like James... and Lucy, I guess, but-"

The news on the TV nearby switched to a piece about Senator Crane.

"DEO duty calls," said Alex, gesturing for Astra to follow.

As soon as they were outside, Astra turned to Alex. "So, what did you think of the young man who was talking to Kara?"

Alex shrugged. "Good-looking. Likes Kara, doesn't like her boss. We'll find out more if she meets him again. Why?"

"I should have thought more of her prospects on this world. On Krypton she would probably already be betrothed, at her age."

"I thought you liked the way we do things here," said Alex, giving Astra a nudge. It didn't move her, unlike Kara, who would have let herself stumble. As usual, Astra's human act was a little thinner than Kara's, though Alex suspected Astra of being a much better liar. "Love matches, all that?"

"I do, it is just... I feel as though I should be helping. Although really, that would fall to her parents, if they were here." Astra's expression grew somber, as it usually did when she spoke of Krypton.

"Well, my mom's certainly stepped up, as far as that goes. _I_ get in trouble every time Kara doesn't date for a while."

Astra raised her eyebrows. "Is that why you try to help her?"

"That and... I want her to be happy, you know that."

"Of course," said Astra with a rare soft smile. "I know."

* * *

 

Astra was sitting out Senator Crane's rally, back at the DEO—it was in no one's interest for Astra to blow her cover, and J'onn didn't trust her to be subtle, at least not yet. So she was cooling her heels in the lab while J'onn and Alex worked the rally. Or at least, she was supposed to be—Alex didn't completely trust her not to come running (or flying) if she thought she was needed.

So, she'd asked Susan to keep an eye on Astra for her.

"You want me to babysit your girlfriend?" Susan has asked, caught between laughter and surprise.

Alex had blanched. Most people at the DEO didn't know she was dating Astra, and she wanted to keep it that way. "Not so loud! And... not babysit, exactly, just tell me if she disappears. And maybe show her around the computers here? She needs to learn our systems eventually."

Susan had raised her eyebrows. "You're really worried, aren't you?"

"Well, you saw how Lane was with her. I don't need her wandering around when Senator Crane is in town." _And when someone—probably Max Lord—is watching us._

"Fine. But you owe me."

"Coffee? Tomorrow morning?" Alex had hoped Susan would take it and call them even.

But Susan had shaken her head and smiled. "I'd rather have an I.O.U. this time. Just in case."

"If you insist," said Alex, though Susan's smile didn't bode well for her.

Back in the present, Alex scanned the crowd. No real trouble so far, in spite of the large numbers of both protesters and counter-protesters. But it wasn't humans she was worried about, as much as she would have liked to give Crane a piece of her mind.

"Perimeter's clear," said Alex, tuning Crane out.

"Try it again," said J'onn.

She tried, but before she could finish, someone or something hurled a grown man into the air and the crowd erupted into chaos.

Whatever it was, it was big, fast, and ugly.

"Everybody get down!" she yelled, following J'onn as he gave chase on foot, weapon drawn.

They caught up to it just as it reached Senator Crane, but as they did, J'onn froze.

"Hank," said Alex. _What's wrong with him?_

The thing tossed a car, and they barely dodged it. By the time they were on their feet again, it had vanished.

A wind rose, and a voice behind them cried, "It's Supergirl!"

Alex looked up in time to watch Kara disappear into the same tunnel as the creature.

As she did, another wind whipped through Alex's hair. When she turned to look, Astra was at her side.

"Do you need help?"

"You were supposed to stay at headquarters," said J'onn. "I would expect this behavior from your niece, but not from you."

Astra shrugged. She hardly looked contrite. "I have grown used to doing as I please."

Alex tapped her com. "Supergirl, do you have a visual?"

"No," said Kara. "Whatever it is, it's gone."

"Ma'am?" Susan's voice came in over coms. "She's, uh..."

"She's here," said Alex, giving Astra a look. "Thanks anyway, Vasquez."

* * *

 

Alex probably _should_ have felt bad about not asking before giving Senator Crane a sedative. Medical ethics and all that (she knew that doctors got away with much worse all the time, but that didn't necessarily make it right). Eliza would probably have been shocked, would probably have given her a lecture about it.

But it was hard not to feel vindicated, in the moment, hard not to enjoy it, with Crane spouting some of the worst anti-alien bigotry Alex had ever heard, with Astra studiously ignoring her and Kara about to explode. It was easy to think that this was the safest route, especially when Crane threatened to run off, put herself in real danger.

Later, she did feel a _little_ bad about it.

* * *

 

"I should've let it eat her," grumbled Kara as they walked into an empty training room.

"It would've. It still might." J'onn seemed calm now, composed, but Alex knew that whatever had attacked Crane, it had affected J'onn deeply.

"You ready to tell us the whole story?" asked Alex.

"We're looking for a White Martian," said J'onn.

Next to Alex, Astra simply nodded. Clearly she'd heard of White Martians before.

"That thing is like you?" asked Alex, befuddled. It hadn't looked like J'onn's natural form at all.

"It's nothing like me! That creature and its kind slaughtered the Green Martians." It came out in a growl as J'onn turned to look at them. "The White Martians came from beneath the planet's surface, bringing fire from the planet's guts. And they burned us all."

"God, J'onn, I'm sorry," said Alex. She could only imagine what that must be like, losing one's whole people, not as Kara had, to their own errors, environmental disasters they themselves had caused, but to malice, to genocide.

_The 'final solution'..._ Alex felt a shiver go down her spine.

"Don't. Knowing what we're up against might just save lives. This creature belongs to a race devoted to the mission of killing me and mine. It'll be back."

"But... but it attacked the Senator," said Kara.

"Make no mistake. I brought it to National City," said J'onn.

"It sensed you," said Astra. "I have heard that Martians have a connection."

"That's right. It attacked the rally to draw me out."

"Then I scared it off," said Kara.

"Thankfully. Because I couldn't fight it today. I couldn't even move."

"You will next time," said Kara. "And you're not alone."

"I will help, if you will let me."

"Can you? Without revealing yourself, the way Supergirl has? No, it's too soon, for the both of us," said J'onn. "As long as you're with the DEO, I'm your commanding officer, and I need you to follow orders. Will you do that?"

"Very well," said Astra.

Alex wasn't sure if she meant it, but clearly she wasn't happy about it.

* * *

 

"Pretty sure the White Martian shape-shifted into Senator Crane," said Kara. Which means the real Senator might still be in danger somewhere."

"Good to know," said Alex, drawing her gun. J'onn would see it. She hoped.

If Astra saw it too, they could get this cleaned up with no need for J'onn to reveal himself.

"I'm on my way," said Kara.

"Hurry."

The White Martian knocked J'onn flat on his back and threw another agent through the glass wall and onto the floor. After that, it was a blur. Alex gave chase as the alien attacked one agent after another, probably looking for a way out. Soon Astra was in the air too, her speed constrained by the tight space and by her attempts to protect others. Alex saw her catch a man before he could hit the ground, shield two agents from some kind of breath weapon.

All good work, but as a result the Martian stayed two steps ahead of her.

They cornered the Martian in the control center, and someone's shot—it might even have been Alex's—took off one of the creature's fingers.

Alex saw J'onn freeze again, and instinctively moved in front of him.

Kara arrived just as Astra caught up.

It was soon clear that the Martian was outmatched—the instant it knocked Kara away, Astra was on it, and vice versa. But after a few moments of struggle it broke away and flew through the ceiling.

Astra instantly few off after it, but Kara touched down on the ground for a moment.

"I'm going after it. You stay here. Hank needs you."

Not a moment after Kara had disappeared, Astra called. "I've lost it. I will rejoin you in a few moments."

Kara chimed in a moment later. "Alex, it's fled. Again."

"Astra lost it too. I'll work on a plan with Hank. Keep your eyes open," replied Alex.

* * *

 

"They herded us into camps," said J'onn.

Camps... maybe it was the wrong image, but all Alex could think of was the Shoah... thin faces peering out of cramped barracks, rooms full of gas... piles and piles of bodies, the number tattooed on her grandfather's arm, the way he never talked about it... she could understand J'onn freezing, seeing one of the architects of a horror like that.

"I swore no matter what, I would protect my family. We would survive. But when we got through the gates, they took the women and children. Men were forced into labor, the others went to the furnace."

_The Nazis killed children and the sick... they wanted to kill us all but those that could work, worked... it's the same._

Suddenly Alex wanted to grab J'onn, to shake him, to say, "You were on Earth during the Shoah... why didn't you stop them?"

But she didn't, because she knew why.

He had been afraid. Doubly so, after what happened to his people. And probably, even if he'd tried, he couldn't have stopped the Holocaust, much less saved everyone.

* * *

 

Alex looked at the Martian's finger, sitting on a device in her lab, one that J'onn was operating. Astra was there too, leaning against the table. _Good, we can find it._

"Okay, so what do we do now?"

" _We_ don't do anything."

"No. No, no, no. That's not happening," she said. _He can't be serious._ "We're gonna bring this in together."

"Sir," said Astra, and it came out sounding strained, but clearly she was making an effort to be more diplomatic after their argument, earlier, "Alex is right. It makes no tactical sense to-"

"We're not bringing it in."

_Oh, no._ "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean. I'm going to find its lair. And when I do, I will drop this human coat I wear. I won't freeze. I will break its body in half and bury it in the dry sand." He strode out of the lab.

_J'onn, no._ She followed him. "You're not a murderer."

"Are you certain you can do this? Your anger may not be enough to push through your fear," said Astra.

_Oh thank goodness,_ thought Alex, glad to have a little support.

"I can help you get your revenge, if you wish," added Astra.

"Astra!"

"What? He may not be a murderer, but I am. And can you really say it is wrong, in this case?"

"We don't kill unless we have to," said Alex, though she was conflicted. If it wasn't a White Martian, but a Nazi... a high-ranking party member, perhaps, or the head of a camp, if she'd watched people she loved die at the hands of its comrades or its subordinates, would she still say that? Or would she go to the ends of the Earth to hunt them down? "And what about the real Senator Crane?"

"She's dead," said J'onn.

"You don't know that. You said it yourself, we don't choose who we protect. So if she's alive, we have to find her." She could tell that she was making headway with this line of argument, with J'onn, at least. And he was the one she had to convince. Not Astra, though they'd have to hash it out later.

"I know you believe in honor. There is no honor in what you are about to do."

"It no longer matters," said J'onn.

* * *

 

Along with her team, Alex searched for the Senator, while Astra and J'onn looked for the White Martian.

"Hank, you all right?"

"I'm in a sewer, Danvers, everything is just peachy."

"Let me know if you find something." She called Astra next. "Astra, how's it look over there?"

"Damp, disgusting, and I am not certain your language has words for the smell."

_Maybe not, especially not if Kryptonians have a sharper sense of smell._ Alex had never been clear on that point. It bore study, but she'd want a larger sample size than she was ever likely to get. "Just call if you find anything."

Alex could hear the Senator's voice calling for help in the distance. Cautiously, she lead her team forward.

* * *

 

Alex would rather die than have someone die to save her. That's why she didn't give up J'onn's identity to the White Martian.

But as she waited in the desert for him to come rescue her, she found that she really, really didn't want to die.

Not yet. Not like this. Not when things were just getting better, when she loved her job and got to work with Kara and J'onn and Astra, when she was finally in a relationship, a good one, when her mother was finally trying to make things better.

Two years ago, she'd been in a bad place, very self-destructive. Maybe, back then, she'd have felt she didn't have much to live for.

But now? Now she desperately, desperately wanted to stay alive.

But she was still proud enough not to beg, and smart enough to know that it would be pointless, anyway.

When J'onn landed in and bared his neck, clearly, though she didn't understand the words, offering his life in exchange for hers, she wanted to plead for him to stop. To save himself.

But she couldn't, the words stuck in her throat. Just shook her head and averted her eyes.

And almost missed Supergirl slamming into the White Martian and knocking it to the ground. A moment later, Astra appeared, landing next to Alex in a cloud of dust. She looked Alex up and down, reached out, as if to touch her.

"I'm okay. Go," said Alex.

She could hardly follow the fighting. Once the Martian knocked Kara to the ground, but she soon took off again. Astra was using her heat vision, pulling out all the stops.

_She's willing to kill. Has done so before. Many times, perhaps,_ realized Alex, chilled. Yes, Alex herself had killed, more than once. But that was in the line of duty, and only when necessary. Astra was a criminal, had killed... while trying to save her planet. _But she's much more willing to risk an accidental kill than Kara is. She's not a superhero, she's a soldier. In spite of her words about killing being hard._

Soon the fight was over. The White Martian lay sprawled in the dirt, and J'onn landed heavily nearby, followed by Kara. Astra landed as well and pinned the Martian, leaving nothing to chance.

"It's over, J'onn," said Kara, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's all right."

J'onn spun, cuffing Kara with glowing kryptonite handcuffs.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry," said J'onn. "But I can't let you stop me."

With that, he advanced on the alien.

"Astra! Do something!" said Alex.

Astra looked up and met her eyes but didn't respond, merely moving aside so that J'onn could hold the White Martian.

"J'onn! J'onn, J'onn, listen to me. I lost everything. Everyone."

J'onn hesitated, inches from taking his revenge. Astra, too, seemed to be listening, her lips pressed into a thin line.

"It makes a hole in your heart. But you can't fall into it. You have to fill it. You have to fight." She seemed to be pleading as much with Astra as with J'onn.

"Do not throw away who you are. If you do that thing wins. The last son of Mars dies, even if you're still standing."

Astra stepped forward again. "Perhaps my niece is right. I will not stop you, if vengeance is what you truly desire. But it will change you. Can you accept that?"

Alex breathed a sigh of relief as J'onn restrained the fallen Martian instead of killing it, and moved to release Kara from her handcuffs.

Astra helped Alex up.

"Were you really going to let him kill it?" asked Alex.

"Yes," said Astra. "I know you do not agree with that choice, but in his place, I would have snapped that creature's neck."

Alex recoiled. "I... god, Astra, I don't even know what to say to that."

"You are angry."

"I don't know. Can we not do this here?" J'onn and Kara were taking charge of the prisoner, but they'd notice what was happening soon, if they hadn't yet.

"Later, then."

* * *

 

Alex's phone rang. She picked it up, still staring at the fake Supergirl on the TV screen.

"I saw the broadcast! What happened?" Astra sounded panicked. "Are you going after her? Do you need my help?"

"That's not Kara," said Alex. "Stay put."

"It is unlike her, certainly... what is she thinking?"

"No, no, I mean that's a fake. I'm standing right next to the real one."

"Oh, thank Rao." It came out in a rush. "Wait. Then who is it?"

"Or what," said Alex. "We don't know, but we're going to find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I had this discussion with someone recently, I think I should clarify that in this fic, when there's a scene based, however loosely, on a canon scene, I frequently borrow lines verbatim from the show, though I only include scenes if parts of them are different. In this chapter, for instance, some of J'onn and Alex's interactions and Kara's whole speech towards the end of the chapter are unchanged. I try not to borrow too much, in part because I worry about it getting dull, but I also don't want anyone giving me credit for brilliant lines written by someone else. Strange Visitor from Another Planet was written by Michael Grassi and Caitlin Parrish.
> 
> Vocab & history notes:
> 
> The word Shoah refers specifically to the parts of the Holocaust that targetted Jewish people, as opposed to the Holocaust more broadly. It comes from Hebrew but is used in other languages as well.
> 
> I believe this term is more generally known but the 'final solution' refers to the Nazi idea that killing all Jewish people would solve the 'Jewish problem'.
> 
> It bears mentioning that, while Jewish people were the most numerous victims of the Holocaust, accounting for nearly 6 million dead (roughly 1/3 of the world's Jewish population at that time), and on the short list of groups that the Nazis wanted to _completely_ destroy, there were millions of other victims as well, for a combined total of up to 12 million.


	19. Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes fight Bizarro. Meanwhile, both Alex and Kara deal with their relationship problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be traveling for over a week soon. I'm doing my level best to write extra right now, and I hope to be able to post the next chapter on Thursday or Friday of this week (9/8 or 9/9/2016), before I leave, but it is quite likely the chapter after that will be delayed, possibly significantly. Sorry about that!

Alex had wanted to be mad at Astra. It would have made things simpler. But now there were more urgent things going on, she didn't want to just blow up at her.

And it wasn't that simple, anyway.

Astra was still up when she got home, staring at something on her phone. She looked up as the door opened.

"I checked with work, but they told me not to come in. They're keeping an eye out for the fake," said Alex. "Kara will go after her if she shows up again."

"She has not," said Astra. "Or if she has, your news sites are not reporting it." She pocketed her phone. "Are you angry with me?"

"I'm not... I don't know." Alex busied herself, kicking off her shoes and taking off her jacket, getting a glass of water from the kitchen.

"You wish I was more like Kara, perhaps. And yet you said yourself that you worried she would not be able to kill, if she needed to."

"We didn't _need_ to kill that Martian. We captured it alive, and now it can't hurt anyone anymore." Alex sipped her water, trying to cut through the mess of thoughts in her head. "Maybe some people deserve to die—I'm not necessarily fully against the death penalty—but we're not judges, or executioners. That's not our job. It shouldn't be."

"And you know as well as I that it was not about his job. You knew my feelings about revenge—I offered to help you get it, when we thought the Director had killed your father."

_That's just it,_ realized Alex. "That scared me, to be honest. Both the offer and the fact that I was willing to accept it. I don't know what I would do, in his shoes. I don't want to find out." _What I would do if my people were killed before my eyes. What I would do if my family was killed, if_ Kara _was killed._

"I pray to Rao that you never have to find out," said Astra. "I know what I would do, and I am not the gladder for it."

Alex nodded.

"I did not get a chance to say this before, but I am glad you are okay." Astra's eyes settled on the cut on Alex's forehead. "I hope you are not in any pain."

It was throbbing, a bit, but... "Nothing I can't handle. Why did you argue against killing that Martian, in the end?"

"It seems to me that the Director is not like me. Perhaps he should not be."

"Okay." Alex leaned back against the kitchen counter and stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Okay."

Astra frowned. "What?"

"I knew who you were... oh, obviously I didn't, that night when I picked you up at that bar, but when I decided to get back together with you I had a pretty good idea what kind of person you were. I shouldn't have been shocked at how you acted today." Alex paused, just a beat. "But I am, or I was. I guess I didn't think things through when I decided to be with you." _No, I acted with my heart. Should have known that would get me in trouble._

"Are you... are you reconsidering? Are you... what is the term... are you breaking up with me?" Astra sounded so sad, so vulnerable that Alex wanted nothing more than to hold her, to reassure her that everything would be okay, would be better.

But she wasn't sure that was the right choice.

"I don't... I don't want it to be," said Alex. "But I don't know if I can do this right now."

Astra looked her up and down. "You're scared," she said at last.

"Yes, I'm scared. Is that wrong?" Alex could feel her blood pounding away in her throat as she said it, the admission as frightening as anything else. She wasn't used to wearing her heart on her sleeve, not anymore. Even around Kara, she'd hidden so much for so long, it was a miracle that it hadn't hurt them much. Astra had told her not to lose her sister, and she hadn't, but she didn't know that she could take much credit for that.

"Of what I almost did? Of what J'onn almost did? You care for him, I know that."

"He saved me, when I was drinking my life away. And so many times since then. But... no. I'm..." She shifted her weight, rubbed her forehead. "Yes, of course that bothered me, but... I could see myself doing the same, or wanting to. Did I tell you my grandfather was a Holocaust survivor? My mother's father, that is."

"You did not."

"Well, he never really talked about it, but we all knew. The prisoners had these tattoos... well, you probably know about that."

"Yes, I have read about it."

"Well, what J'onn said about the camps... I'm not sure he was wrong to want revenge. I was just afraid what it would do to him... and that I would approve of it."

Astra nodded, not moving from where she sat. "I believe I know what you mean, but I don't think I can help you with that." She was silent a moment. "I believe in a warrior's code, and for me that helps. You are a scientist first, though, are you not? Perhaps you will find meaning in that."

"Maybe." Alex mulled it for a moment, but it was giving her a headache. She could drink, but... Astra might judge her for that. "Fuck it all, I'm going to bed."

"I will stay out here, I think."

_Astra..._ "You don't have to."

"I think it would be easier," said Astra.

Alex's bed felt much too big that night, without Astra taking up more than her fair share of it.

* * *

 

"I'm texting Adam," said Kara. "I can't go on a date, not while Max and Bizarro are out there, it's too crazy right now."

"No, no. You deserve a life. Kara you. You can't be Supergirl all the time, right?"

"That's true, I guess."

"We'll be here. That is, I'm off in an hour, but I'll be on call, and so will Astra, and Hank and Susan and the others will be here."

Kara frowned. "Susan? Oh, right, Agent Vasquez. When did you two get so chummy?"

"Um... sometime in between her figuring out I'm gay and our one disaster of a date. Point is, even _I_ have a life these days. You deserve it just as much, if not more. So go."

"Thanks, Alex."

* * *

 

When she was single, Alex would have definitely taken another shift, looking for Bizarro. Part of her still wanted to, and she would definitely go back in at a moment's notice. But barring that? She had the night off, and her overtime was at a record low since she'd started at the DEO.

It was actually sort of nice, feeling like she had something of a life.

Even if, right now, that life was a bit of an awkward one.

Astra was still sleeping on the couch. Alex hadn't insisted on it, but she'd insisted she wanted to wait until they were reconciled.

Alex finished up her business in the the bathroom and was washing her hands when she heard a loud clang, followed by the slam of a door being flung... open, maybe?

"Little one?" asked Astra, in the next room. "I am glad to see you, but-"

Another slamming noise.

_I don't think that's Kara._ Alex pulled out her phone and typed out a quick text, telling Kara where she was.

"Where am Supergirl?" grunted Bizarro in the next room.

Alex had to figure out what to do next. Her gun was in the living room, but it'd be useless without kryptonite ammo. Maybe she should have gotten special permission to take some out, with this fake Supergirl on the loose.

She typed out another message, this one to Susan's DEO number. She couldn't risk speaking—the fake would hear it, if she hadn't heard Alex already. They didn't know for certain if she had supersenses, but it seemed likely.

Alex noticed that the sounds had stopped, and risked poking her head out into the living room.

Aside from a overturned couch and some damage around the balcony door, the room was remarkably untouched, and Astra and the fake Supergirl were nowhere to be seen.

Alex dashed out, scooped up her gun, and ran onto the fire escape to try to see where they had gone.

And they hadn't gone far—they were fighting in the alley below, seemingly evenly matched.

Until, that is, the real Supergirl crashed down on them from above, knocking the fake into the pavement below.

Alex thought for a moment that they might overwhelm the fake by sheer force of numbers, but instead, just as Alex was dialing Susan to tell her to send a retrieval unit, Bizarro jetted away into the skies.

Kara followed, but Astra flew back up to the fire escape, just as Alex's call connected.

Alex nodded to Astra and let Astra pick her up, and Astra followed the two Supergirls, a bit more slowly.

Alex struggled to hear Susan over the sound of the wind.

"Can you... draw... out of the city? ...force waiting... hill. Already... Supergirl."

"Which hill? You're breaking up."

Susan gave the location again.

"Roger." Alex cut off the call. "Did you catch that?"

She felt Astra chuckle. "More than you did, I think."

Soon, they were landing on the hill, next to several DEO agents and some kryptonite artillery. Kara was still fighting Bizarro, but getting pushed back by her... fire breath.

_Yikes._

Even though she wasn't dressed for it, even though she was technically off-duty, Alex felt herself falling into her DEO role immediately. An agent handed her a com with a low, "Ma'am," and she put it on.

She waited for an opening, following the fight with practiced eyes, Astra, next to her, visibly itching to jump into the fray, then...

"Fire!"

The shots hit, and Bizarro hit the ground.

Alex felt a moment of triumph, but then, Bizarro stood and began to change.

_Oh, shit._ Alex watched, horrified, as Bizarro's face mutated.

Bizarro took to the skies, and Alex shook her head at Astra who would have followed, all the while holding onto Kara, who wobbled where she stood. "It's the kryptonite. Let her go."

Kara nodded, took a deep breath and pulled herself upright. "So. Why'd Bizarro go after you two?"

Alex met Astra's eyes for a moment. "I'm pretty sure Max Lord hates us."

"I thought he was into you?" asked Kara. "I mean, I'm not surprised he doesn't like Astra, but..."

"He... may have an inkling that I'm dating Astra."

"What."

"It is likely that he knows, yes," said Astra.

"What, you just... told him? Or what?"

"He... planted a camera on my bag, when I went on that date with him. Astra spotted it before he could see much but... he saw enough that he knows I'm with someone, and probably that it's Astra." It was something of a lie, of course, but Alex wasn't about to tell Kara that they'd deliberately taunted him.

"Do you think he'll go after you again? What're you going to do about this?"

"We can handle ourselves, Kara. And he doesn't know who you are."

"I know, but... it's not bad enough that I have to deal with Non and his people, but Maxwell Lord has to butt in, too."

"You are not alone, little one," said Astra, brushing a strand of Kara's hair away from her face.

"I know," said Kara, and engulfed Astra in a tight hug, her hands clutching at the fabric of Astra's top. After a moment she turned her head and looked at Alex. "And, um, you too, Alex."

"Great to feel appreciated," said Alex, but really she was glad for Kara, and glad she'd taken the risk of reuniting Kara with her aunt.

* * *

 

"I should go with her," said Astra.

"No."

"Why? Maxwell Lord already knows about me. He will learn nothing by my presence."

"It's broad daylight, what if someone sees you? You've already taken more than enough risks on that front," said Alex.

In the end, Astra accompanied Alex to the warehouse where Bizarro had hidden James.

"I don't want her seeing me," said Alex once they arrived, "so go in from the other side."

"Of course," said Astra, then disappeared in a blur of speed.

As Alex entered, she took stock of the situation. Kara, Astra, and Bizarro were locked in combat. James was still tied up down below. She aimed, but even with Kara and Astra trying to hold Bizarro still, they were moving a fair bit.

"I can't get a clean shot," yelled Alex. "I don't know what this stuff will do if it hits you two."

She didn't want to know.

"Take the shot!" yelled Kara.

"Do it!" added Astra.

Alex fired, praying she wouldn't hit either of them. For a moment, Astra wavered in the air, and Alex's heart stopped.

Then the cracks in Bizarro's face flashed blue and she fell to the floor.

_Baruch Hashem_ , thought Alex. Then she was surprised at herself—she didn't even believe, why was she thanking God? But it was automatic.

But after that reaction? She knew what she had to do.

While Kara was freeing James from his restraints, Alex slung her gun over her back and ran to join Astra, who was watching over Bizarro.

"I thought I'd hit you," she said, looking Astra up and down to make sure she was okay. Then she wrapped her arms around Astra's waist and held her tight.

"I'm fine, _:zhaoivahzh_. I'm fine." Astra stroked Alex's hair for a moment, then pulled away. "We should get this one back to the DEO."

* * *

 

Astra stood behind Alex in the medbay as they watched Bizarro fall asleep, and as Kara comforted her. Alex couldn't imagine what Astra must be feeling, what Kara must, but she was angry. Angry at Maxwell Lord, who she knew she'd find a way to stop... somehow. And sad, for this Jane Doe and all the others who'd been the victims of his experiments, who'd been hurt and changed and brainwashed.

"If there is any way I can help..." said Astra, after the girl's eyes had closed. "Though I regret that I have not thoroughly studied Kryptonian biology, let alone human, I do have some knowledge of the brain."

"We'll figure something out," said Alex, though she had no idea when they'd find the time.

"In the meantime... I've half a mind to go pay Lord a visit."

"Me, too," admitted Alex. _If there were any justice in the world, that man would be behind bars._ "He's a menace. But that could just bring us more trouble." She didn't want Astra to put herself at risk.

"There was a time when I would simply have taken care of it," said Astra. "But that time is past. Much as it pains me, I will follow your advice."

_I almost wish I hadn't given it,_ thought Alex bitterly. _I'm not looking forward to what he does next._

* * *

 

After taking care of Bizarro, Alex, Astra, and Kara went back to Alex's place. Kara brought takeout—burgers, fries, and shakes—and Astra set up a folding table and chairs they'd recently bought.

"It finally looks like you've really moved in," said Kara as Alex brought over a roll of paper towels in guise of napkins.

"Shut up. I got most of the furniture at your place when I was living there."

"True," admitted Kara, setting out two burgers and a shake for herself, "but I did at least redecorate. I even put up some of my art!"

"And I still have that mug you made... okay, fine. So I haven't hung anything on the walls. Big deal."

"And you didn't own an actual dinner table until now. If you can even count this."

"Because I always spent most of my free time with you, you little ingrate!" Alex chucked a fry at Kara.

Kara caught it and popped it in her mouth. "Thanks." Then she narrowed her eyes at something behind Alex.

Alex turned to look. There was a blanket and pillow on the couch.

"Are you two arguing?" asked Kara. "It's okay to tell me, I can take it."

Alex met Astra's eyes. After feeling like she might lose Astra at that warehouse, she couldn't lose Astra to her own insecurities. "We, um, we sort of were. I hope she'll forgive me, because today I realized how important she is to me."

"I understand why you were concerned," said Astra. "I think I said that before. You have nothing to apologize for, dear one."

Astra, who was sitting between Alex and Kara, leaned over the table to stroke Alex's cheek.

"You guys are gross," said Kara, frowning as she picked up her burger.

Alex smiled as Astra pulled away. "What about you and Adam? How's that going? Are you planning to gross me out any time soon?"

"I don't think we could," said Kara. "And anyway I think Adam's getting suspicious."

"Of?"

"All these 'family emergencies' I keep having. First I said it was my grandma... I don't even _have_ a grandmother! And when you called the other day, I said that my sister needed my help, and that was true, but I'm not sure he believed it. And then he stopped by at work but I wasn't there and Winn gave him some kind of excuse but..." She sighed. "I thought it might be nice, dating someone that thought I was just normal, but it's a pain! And I don't know if I can trust him with it, but he might talk to Miss Grant and find out anyway."

Alex set down her soda, hard in her surprise and dismay. "Wait, hold up. She _knows_? I thought you and J'onn took care of it!"

Kara fidgeted. "Well, she doesn't actually know for sure but I think she might still suspect. And anyway even if she doesn't she might tell Adam that she used to, and he might figure it out. I knew dating the boss' son would be complicated!"

Astra perked up at that. "This Adam... is the son of Cat Grant? A strategic match, then."

"Aunt Astra!" Kara turned bright red and covered her face. "It's not like that."

"Well, even if it is a love match, that does not prevent you from enjoying the benefits..."

Alex raised an eyebrow at that. "You're just teasing, aren't you?"

She smiled. "Perhaps."

Kara lifted her head to glare at Astra. "Now I feel weird about it! Even though he's not that close to Miss Grant and he doesn't want anything to do with CatCo. If anyone inherits it'll probably be Carter... who is like twelve, by the way."

"I had no intention of suggesting anything," said Astra, all innocence and almost convincing.

"And then Lucy said something today, about um, open relationships and she probably just meant it hypothetically but I keep thinking about it..." Kara groaned. "At least Winn's talking to me again."

Alex laughed. "Well, look at it this way, a few months ago you had nothing romantic in your life and now everyone's interested."

"I should be glad about that, I guess. Wait, are you saying that _Lucy's_ interested?"

_Okay, time to backtrack._ "I don't know, I barely know her." Alex had barely seen Lucy since the infamous game night, but at least they'd left it on friendlier terms than before.

"Great, now I'm going to be wondering about it even more. Maybe I should break up with Adam."

"Don't base that on your feelings about Lucy or James," said Alex. "There's no guarantees there."

"I know..." said Kara. "But I don't know if I can date someone who doesn't know, and I don't know if I should date him when I like someone else better..."

"He might grow on you... you've known both of them for a while now."

Kara looked dubious. "You think I should give it time?"

Alex shrugged. "If you want. If it doesn't feel like it's worth it, don't." _If only I could have followed my own advice in college..._

"You're a big help," said Kara, grumpy.

"You're welcome. But seriously, sometimes I can't make these choices for you. You've got to do what seems right to you."

"And what if Miss Grant's mad? If I break up with her son? She's been so nice lately, I don't want to ruin it."

"You can't let that stop you. Take care of yourself for a change."

Kara made a face. "That would be easier is this wasn't so complicated."

Astra leaned forward, over her food. "Little one, if I may?"

Kara nodded.

"The way these humans do relationships is different from ours, and I am finding it difficult, at times."

Alex felt a pang of guilt at that, but it faded as Astra continued.

"But I am also finding it worth the trouble." She gave Alex a fond look. "I cannot tell you if this Adam is worthy of you, not the way humans mean it, but I believe... you should follow your heart, as they say. I am glad to have followed mine.

"Ugh," said Kara. "You're going to give me cavities." But she smiled, and Alex was glad again, glad that they were all together, glad to have Kara's approval, however grudging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Baruch Hashem_ \- Hebrew, meaning loosely 'thank God' or 'blessed is God'
> 
> Hashem actually means 'the name' and is one of the most common of the many, many, many, many, many terms for God in Judaism.
> 
> Please note that God's actual name is rarely used, and then only in writing, as its pronunciation is not known and in any case it shouldn't be used lightly (that's an understatement). Pronunciations you may have heard for it are Christian inventions and thus not accepted in Judaism.
> 
> _:zhaoivahzh_ : I use this to mean beloved, but really it's just a past tense form of _:zhaoiv_ which would mean to love someone romantically or to be sexually attracted to them (derived from _:zhao_ , meaning "romantic / erotic love; sexual attraction" according to kryptonian.info)


	20. Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still on vacation, and the next update might be somewhat late, but I am working on it when I have a chance.
> 
> Many thanks to Reese ([@yokothetypo](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/)) who gave me even more feedback than usual on this chapter.
> 
> The chapter count (20/24 at time of writing) is somewhat approximate but this story is indeed in the home stretch!

Alex was the first one in the bedroom that night, and she didn't see the slithering plant until it was too late...

* * *

 

Alex was warm and comfortable. She didn't want to get up, but someone was moving around the room. She rolled over onto her side.

Whoever it was chuckled. "Alex, _:zrhueiao_ , it's time to get up."

"Don' wanna." Alex curled up and frowned a little.

The owner of that voice, that beautiful voice kissed her cheek, softly. "Have you forgotten what day it is? I am quite certain you won't want to miss it."

_The alarm hasn't even gone off yet,_ thought Alex. She was always a little dopey before her coffee, but if she had something other than work planned today, she would have remembered it. "Five more minutes."

"That is what you said fifteen minutes ago, dear one. Please get up. I want to see you before the big event."

_Dear one?_ The voice was Astra's. Reluctantly, Alex opened her eyes.

Then she blinked and sat up quickly, because she had no idea where she was. "What? What's going on?"

She was in a large, airy, sunlit bedroom, a total contrast to her own with its small window that never got direct sun. She was sitting on an immense bed while Astra, still half-dressed, retrieved something from the dresser.

Astra tossed the object at her. It hit Alex in the face, covering her head. It was an undershirt. Alex put it on.

"What do you mean? You can't have forgotten that this is our wedding day?"

Astra sounded hurt, and Alex wanted to reassure her but she honestly couldn't remember. Worse, it sounded wrong, fake. But why would Astra lie to her about something like that?

"Wedding day? But where are we?"

"At our new home," explained Astra. "Perhaps seeing it will help you remember."

Alex pinched herself, to make sure she wasn't dreaming, and followed Astra through a large, open-concept kitchen/living area (with, she noticed, a nice breakfast spread waiting for them) and into a largely unfurnished room, its hardwood floor partially covered with a colorful rug, a low bookcase with a few board books in it standing along one wall.

"We still need to put together the crib, remember?" asked Astra, uncertain. "But the baby's not coming for a while yet." She laid a hand across her belly.

"The baby? What the hell? How did that happen, and when? I just—we just moved in together a few weeks ago, this doesn't make sense..."

"Oh dear, you really don't remember, do you? We were afraid this might happen." Astra took Alex by the arm and lead her to the dining table.

"That what might happen?" asked Alex, sitting down.

"You were in a bad fight yesterday. You recovered from your injuries, but you still seemed confused when you got home last night. We thought you might have some degree of memory loss. I only hope it isn't permanent."

"Oh." What Astra was saying suddenly sounded a lot more credible. Alex did have vague memories of fighting something or someone, of being injured, and a sense of lost time.

"Try to remember. Where do you work, for example?"

"At the... um, in a lab." That sounded wrong, somehow, but Alex couldn't think why—she loved her job, loved being on the cutting edge of bioengineering.

Astra handed her a mug of coffee, and Alex took a gulp. It was very strong, almost too strong, and it brought back memories. Memories of getting coffee, with someone close to her.

A flash of blonde hair, a wide, guileless grin... "Your niece, Kara. I get coffee with her, sometimes."

"Yes. You've been friends since you were little. You fight like sisters."

Alex grinned as a tidbit came back. "She's going to be my maid of honor!"

"See? You do remember!"

"A bit. But why did you get me out of bed so early?"

"Well, I wanted to have breakfast with you. And... perhaps you could take me flying?"

Something about that sounded wrong, but Alex shook it off, remembering, pleased, that she was a superhero, that she could fly. "Sure."

They finally tucked into the eggs and pastries lid out in front of them. Alex found herself staring at Astra over the table as she drank her coffee and tore off little bits of croissant, smiling and feeling uncommonly sentimental. But then, it _was_ her wedding day.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Astra.

"How lucky I am."

Astra held out her hand across the table, and Alex took it, lacing their fingers together. "I am the lucky one."

Alex felt herself blush, and pulled her hand away. Wait, she should be able to control that kind of reaction, right?

But... why? Something else that she couldn't remember?

"It is normal to feel disoriented, after recovering from such severe injures," said Astra, perhaps noticing Alex's confusion.

Astra was drinking orange juice, Alex noticed, bright and cheery like the sun that gave her... wait, the sun that gave Alex her powers? Or Astra?

The thought seemed to slip away as soon as it came, and Alex ate the last ripped-off chunk of pastry, washing the buttery flakes down with the last sip of coffee.

"You said you wanted to go flying?" asked Alex. She could remember that, at least, loving to fly, the wind in her hair, wearing the suit in her closet...

She couldn't remember what it looked like.

"I did. Why don't you get changed, and I'll take care of things here."

"Um, okay."

Alex returned to the bedroom and was reassured to find it unchanged. She opened the closet door to find a familiar selection of clothing, dark-colored tops and plaid shirts, a leather jacket and a couple of blazers, as well as Astra's equally dark but slightly more modest options... and along one side, a black supersuit, complete with cape, boots, gloves, and domino mask.

She pulled it out to look at it more closely. It had looked like one piece in the darkness, but actually the top and pants were separate, with a belt full of pockets to cover where they overlapped. Both of them looked pretty tight. They wouldn't leave much to the imagination.

She changed out of her boxers and undershirt and into more practical undergarments that wouldn't bunch up under the suit. As soon as she put on the shirt and looked at herself in the mirror on the inside of the closet door, everything came flooding back—discovering her powers after an accident as a teenager, becoming a hero to protect her best friend, saving Astra, once or twice, and kissing desperately in the moonlight after almost dying. Flying her to their favorite spots, places that were almost inaccessible, except by air, and spending lazy hours there whenever the city didn't need saving. Telling a few friends that she was a superhero. Her father had supported her right away. Her mother had been worried, but eventually came around.

_How could I have forgotten all that?_ wondered Alex. She yanked on the pants and the boots, then fastened the belt before snapping on the cape and pulling on her gloves. She took a moment to admire the stylized v—or was it a bird?—stenciled in blue across the chest, then slipped on her mask and looked at herself in the mirror again.

_Nightwing._ The translation of the name of a creature of Kryptonian legend, she'd gotten the name from Kara. Astra hadn't liked it at first, but once she got to know Alex and realized how close she was to Kara, how Alex had protected Kara and helped her to fit in long before getting her powers, she'd come around.

Alex grinned and strode into the living room. Astra had thrown on a jacket at some point and was waiting for her. Together, they walked out onto the balcony, and Alex scooped Astra up into a bridal carry.

It just seemed appropriate, today.

Alex held on tight as she shot into the air, her cape flapping in the breeze. The apartment looked out over a park, empty this early in the morning. Alex flew over it, inhaling the scents she associated with early summer in the city—hot pavement and gasoline, but also dry grass and just a whiff of sea air.

"I don't think we have time for a long flight," she said regretfully, climbing in the air, "but I'll get us a nice view."

This high up, higher than the highest building, it was peaceful, quiet, and they could see most of the city. Sometimes Alex liked to remind herself what she was protecting. Sometimes that meant spending time with those she loved—Astra, Kara, J'onn, her parents. Sometimes it meant this—just looking out over the city.

Astra kissed her then, softly, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Hey," said Alex, looking down at her. She kissed Astra back, harder, more deeply, and let them float gradually back down towards the balcony.

As she touched down, she set Astra down, too, and let Astra press her into the wall for a kiss that left her pulse pounding. Astra reached down and cupped Alex between her legs and Alex couldn't help but lean into it for just a moment. But—

"Not out here, not like this," she panted.

* * *

 

Alex sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at Astra. Astra bit her lip, tucked her hair behind one ear, and pulled off Alex's mask before straddling her and kissing her again.

"We don't have much time," said Alex.

"Pity." Astra tossed the mask aside and removed Alex's belt, then pulled down on her waistband. With Alex's help, she eased them, and the briefs underneath, down and out of the way, but not off entirely, the fabric bunching above Alex's boots.

"You don't want me naked?" asked Alex.

"Oh, you know how I like this suit. It covers everything, but so very thinly." Astra ran a nail down Alex's stomach.

Alex shivered.

"Besides, sometimes I like to remind myself that I am sleeping with a hero." Astra pushed Alex's legs apart and dragged her fingers through Alex's wetness.

Alex's back arced even at that touch, and when, moments later, Astra crouched down and took Alex in her mouth, Alex's head fell back and all she could do was cling.

Astra's touch seemed instinctive, as though she knew exactly what Alex needed, before she even said it, sometimes before Alex knew herself. It had always been like that, had always been perfect, none of the fumblings Alex had experienced with other partners.

Alex writhed and moaned as Astra's tongue did things to her she didn't even have words for, keeping her on the edge, not painfully but blissfully, a long moment of ecstasy Alex never wanted to end.

And when she did come, it felt like the entire world shook with her.

Alex breathed hard as she recovered. "Wow."

"It is a good thing I am not marrying you for your eloquence," said Astra with a smirk.

"Cut a girl some slack," said Alex. "Better yet, let me return the favor."

Astra shook her head. "I have to get going, remember? You can make it up to me later."

"Wouldn't want to be late to our own wedding," said Alex, letting herself collapse back on the bed.

* * *

 

Alex stepped out of the shower and quickly toweled off, then yanked on a fresh pair of boxer briefs and brushed her teeth. She strolled out into the living room, her towel slung over her shoulders, only to realize that someone was standing there, staring wide-eyed at everything around her.

Not just any someone, but Kara, dressed in a form-fitting, brightly colored outfit with her family crest across the chest and a cape hanging from her shoulders.

There was something familiar about that. Something wrong? Or something right?

Kara turned to look at her, eyes widening as she took in Alex's state of partial undress. Then she looked away, staring fixedly at the ceiling, a light blush across her cheeks. Even now, Kara was still a little shy about nudity.

"Alex! I'm so glad to see you! Listen, you've got to come with me. None of this is real-"

As Kara spoke, Alex stepped into the bedroom and threw on one of her flannel shirts, because even if Kara was practically her sister she wasn't about to talk with her _naked_ , especially not when Kara was clothed, if strangely.

"What? That's crazy."

"I know it must sound weird to you but you have to believe me!" Kara barged into the bedroom, reaching out towards Alex.

Alex took a step back. Kara was acting strangely, and she didn't know what to do. "You're supposed to be helping Astra get ready, aren't you? What are you doing here? Why are you dressed like that?"

Kara frowned. "Because I'm Supergirl. Don't you remember?"

_Supergirl?_ "Who?" asked Alex, growing more suspicious by the moment. “You're not a superhero.”

Kara let herself float into the air. "No, I am, see?"

_That settles it,_ _that can't be Kara_ _._ Without warning, Alex unleashed a blast of heat vision against the fake, which the fake matched with her own.

"H-how are you doing that?" squeaked the fake.

_She's a good actress... or not a very hardened villain._ "That's my line. How _dare_ you impersonate my best friend?"

The fake recoiled, pushed back by Alex's heat vision. "Alex, stop! You have to listen to me!"

"I don't have to do anything!" Alex flew towards her, intending to beat her into submission, if necessary, but the fake flew straight through the wall... leaving it without a scratch, and by the time Alex reached the balcony doors the girl was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

 

Alex and Astra had spent long hours discussing the details of their wedding: where to hold it, who to invite, what traditions to incorporate, who should officiate.

It had been a lot of work, but the result was perfect.

They held it outside, on a hill overlooking the ocean Alex loved so much, the guests protected by a pavilion tent decorated with the symbol of the house of Ze as well as a little design Alex, with the more artistically-minded Kara's help, had designed to represent the Danvers family. Soon there would be food and music, but for now Alex and Astra stood in the filtered sunlight under a coastal pine, reciting their vows, next to the officiant, J'onn J'onzz, Alex's boss, who had been a mentor and almost a second father to her.

Alex's actual father, Jeremiah, sat in the audience, next to her mother. Alex's maid of honor was Kara, though that request had created a bit of a disagreement—after all, Kara was Astra's niece. In the end, Alex got her way, as well as Susan for a bridesmaid, and Astra's matron of honor was her sister, Alura, whose husband was smiling at them from the audience, his family crest across his chest. Alex was glad to see it, glad that attitudes towards aliens were so much friendlier than they once had been. She hardly even had to protect Kara anymore.

Not that she let a detail like that stop her.

Alex had selected a tailored three-piece suit for the event, but Astra was the real vision. A beauty like that could pull off almost anything, but today, in place of her usual dark palette, she wore a pale, almost dove-gray gown, close-fitting in the torso but with long sleeves, that might seem understated if one ignored the metallic notes in the trim and the low-slung belt. Her house crest was, in Kryptonian fashion, picked out in metallic thread on the chest, but the color was a nod to human customs, though she'd refused to wear white, citing its sinister symbolism in her culture.

Nothing could ruin this day, except...

And there was the exception.

The gaudily clad fake Kara landed at the other end of the tent, kicking up a cloud of dust.

"Who-" said Astra, her eyes narrowing.

"A fake." Alex automatically stepped in front of Kara, _her_ Kara, protecting her. "Be careful, she has powers like mine. Possibly more."

"Understood," said Astra. Her eyes narrowed as she watched the fake's movements and Alex was reminded that, powers or no, Astra's military experience was invaluable in situations such as this.

And then there was J'onn, whose own powers could even the odds... more than, even.

Alex grinned. "You'll regret ever coming here, impostor."

The fake had the nerve to look hurt at that. "Alex, please!"

"No! You come here, try to ruin this day for me? I won't let you."

She would have launched herself in the air, taken the fight to Kara's doppleganger, but J'onn was faster and had the girl restrained before Alex could even move. The girl struggled, managing to throw something at Alex.

She should have dodged it. Or destroyed it before it could even get to her. But instead, stupidly, instinctively, she caught it and opened it up.

Inside was a badge, with her name and photo... and the name of an organization she'd never heard of. "D.E.O.?" she mouthed.

"That's who you really are," cried the fake Kara. "None of this is real, you have to believe me."

"Why should I?" _You're asking me to give all of this up, for what?_

"Because... we need you. The real Astra, the real J'onn. And I need... I need my _sister!_ "

_Sister?_ Alex opened her mouth to protest that Kara wasn't her sister, especially not this Kara, but she couldn't, because, though she had no idea how it could be true, Kara was her sister. And the girl in red and blue was the real Kara, not the one cowering behind her.

Alex turned to look at Astra. "I'm sorry." Then she looked into the crowd, met her father's eyes. She couldn't remember why, but she knew she needed to see him one last time.

Around her, the world faded to white.

* * *

 

Alex's head was pounding, and she felt something slither off of her chest and onto the floor. She shivered and opened her eyes.

"Alex!" Kara was at her side in an instant, grabbing her hand a little too hard. "Oh Rao, I thought you hadn't made it."

Behind Kara, Astra was watching them, more composed but hardly unaffected, to judge by the set of her jaw, the thin press of her lips.

Alex let Kara help her sit up. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she wiped them away. "What was that thing?"

"A black mercy," supplied Astra. "It kills by showing its victim their ideal life. It was probably sent by Non."

"To target you, no doubt." And even though Alex's heart ached for the reminder of Jeremiah's loss, she was almost glad it had been her. How much worse must it be, to lose one's entire world? There was no doubt in Alex's mind that Astra would have dreamt of Krypton.

"Most likely. He sent assassins after Kara, as well."

Alex blanched. "Assassins?" She looked Kara up and down, noting a small rip in her suit, low on her belly. "Are you okay?"

Kara covered the rip with one hand. "I'm fine."

"I made sure she stayed on the sunbed as long as possible," said J'onn. "Though she insisted on being the one to help you. As for the assassins, we were able to capture one, but the other escaped."

Alex stood. "Non must be on the move, if he tried all of that today."

J'onn nodded. "He is. Are you sure you're up for this mission?"

"I have to," said Alex. "Hank, he made me lose Jeremiah. Again."

"Then suit up, Agent Danvers," said J'onn, his voice grim.

* * *

 

Alex shifted her weight, just a little, and checked that her sword was loose in its sheath. She'd better make her move before Non lost interest and ignored her to plant his device.

They'd all split up, based on their best guesses about how Non would divide his forces, Kara, Astra, J'onn, and Alex each on their own, and small teams of human agents to all other locations.

But they'd guessed wrong, and Alex's opponent had turned out to be Non. She'd had just enough time to radio for backup before he'd descended on her, unphased by her kryptonite bullets thanks to the device on his chest.

"What is Astra to you, human?" he asked, and alien or no, Alex would recognize that tone anywhere: jealousy.

"What do you care? You're the one who drove her away."

"Is that how she tells it?" His hand tightened around her throat.

She struggled, fingers scrabbling at the device that kept him safe from her weapons.

But maybe... she'd have trouble getting an angle, but...

Pulling at the arm that held her in the hopes that he wouldn't notice what she was really doing, and praying that she could stay conscious long enough to do it, she maneuvered her gun, trying to get an angle on the device. Maybe, just maybe, if she could hit it dead-on at point-blank range, a kryptonite bullet would be enough to disable it... though they had to have thought of that, had to have built them tough... her head was swimming. She'd only get one shot at this.

She fired, and Non loosened his hold just long enough for her to squirm away, staring down at the darkened, cracked device.

Hopefully, that meant it was broken.

* * *

 

Now she was betting on that, for her survival. She'd laid a trap for him—every explosive she carried, including stun grenades to disorient him, then kryptonite bullets and her sword, if necessary, to finish the job. She had kryptonite cuffs and she'd capture him if she could, of course, but somehow she wasn't sure that would be possible.

She scooped up a piece of gravel and threw it towards her trap, in a little dead end he hopefully wouldn't have time to escape, then crouched back down behind the dumpster. It was a simple trick but hopefully he was mad enough to fall for it.

He landed, right on cue, and she set off the trap. He stumbled, swearing in Kryptonese, and she fired off a shot. It missed. Another. It hit him in the arm, and now he was recovering. He'd seen her.

_Shit._

He was on her again, knocking her gun away and holding her down more securely this time, and grimacing as he dug out the bullet.

"I was going to just kill you. But perhaps I should torture you instead. Blood for blood. What do you say?"

Alex fumbled for her sword. She couldn't actually cut him with it this close up, but if she could just draw it it would weaken him, even the odds—

But he saw what she was doing this time and ripped the sheath from her belt, tossing it so it landed some distance away.

"Now. I'll have no further interruptions from you." He raised his fist as if to strike her—to knock her out, maybe—but the blow never landed.

Instead, a blast of heat vision knocked him back, and suddenly she was in Astra's arms.

"Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. Go. You can still stop him."

Astra nodded and let go, taking to the air where Non waited. Soon the two Kryptonians were a blur to Alex's eyes, though she took the time to retrieve her gun and hold it at the ready, just in case. Not that she could do much unless they slowed down.

Which they did, Astra grabbing Non and slamming him into the ground.

"Give in, and I will spare your life," said Astra.

"Have the humans made you soft, wife? Or perhaps a particular human?" Non struggled, but Astra pressed in that spot she'd shown Alex and he went limp for a moment.

"I was no longer your wife the day you betrayed me. Now yield if you want to live." Astra pushed Non hard into the dirt for emphasis.

Non's eyes flashed, and Alex tensed, ready to jump aside if necessary, but unsure that she would be fast enough.

"I pity you, caring for such a pathetic creature," said Non as his eyes began to glow.

Alex dove, but she didn't need to—Astra twisted Non's neck with an audible crack and the light in his eyes faded before he could hurt Alex.

"Thank you," said Alex, shaken, as she picked herself up.

"I didn't want to kill him," said Astra. "And I believed you would not want me to, but he forced my hand."

"You had to."

"I know." Astra extracted a small object from Non's jacket and smashed it with her foot, her movements automatic, mechanical. "We should check on the others. I was able to stop my target before coming here, but once word gets out that Non is dead it is possible there may be reprisals."

* * *

 

"We're holding a little victory party at Kara's place later, if you want to come. I think everyone will understand if you don't," said Alex.

Astra had been oddly quiet since getting back to the DEO. Maybe it was the shock of killing someone she had once loved. Alex had made her lie down on the sun bed for a while, to ensure that she was fully healed, and she'd closed her eyes, but Alex, attuned as she was to Astra's habits, to her breathing, was almost certain she hadn't slept.

"It would not be proper for me to celebrate," said Astra.

"Because of Non?" Alex didn't want to dance around the subject.

"He was once my husband. By rights, I should observe the period of mourning..." Astra trailed off and blinked once.

"What does that entail?" prompted Alex, though she'd seen Kara trying to mourn for her planet.

"It doesn't matter, I cannot afford to... there is much for me to do..." Astra sighed, squared her shoulders, and looked Alex in the eye. "I should apologize. I was... I was considering leaving without saying goodbye... I thought that might make it easier."

"Leaving?" Alex's heart sank, and she remembered that Astra had said something to that effect once, over soup.

"Yes. With the death of Non and the capture of some of his officers, there will be a power vacuum among his forces. Eventually, someone will step in to fill that gap. If I move now—"

"...You can rally them to your cause?" _Not her old cause, I hope._

"In a manner of speaking. I do not as yet have a new plan for them but if I lead them I can prevent them from doing anything rash—"

"To protect them, or to protect us?"

"Both. I would like to prevent what violence I can. Do not try to dissuade me." Astra's expression was grave, regal even.

Alex wanted to try, wanted to get her to stay, to think of their relationship, but she knew that in this, Astra was like Kara. She needed to be a hero, or die trying, and she would sacrifice whatever she must to achieve that.

"Will you come back?"

"I will... I will try. It may be that they will turn on me, capture me or worse. I do not wish to die, but I will risk it. I would not hide this from you, though perhaps I will keep it from Kara."

Alex nodded. "She'd try to stop you." Her voice cracked as she spoke. "Say goodbye, at least."

"I will. In any case, it may be some time before I return. I expect I will not often be in contact but I will try to send you a message every now and then."

"You should tell Hank, so he doesn't set the DEO on your trail."

"I have. He attempted to convince me to stay, of course. I think I will leave tomorrow. Let Kara have her party, and visit her in the morning, before I leave."

"Then you're not coming tonight?" _Maybe I should stay home. Spend one last evening with Astra._

"I am not. You should go, or Kara will miss you." Astra brushed Alex's cheek with her thumb, wiping away a tear. "I would not now be able to do this if not for you. Go. I will see you later tonight."

* * *

 

Alex pulled Kara aside as soon as she arrived at Kara's place. "About that dream," she said.

"It's okay. I can understand wanting to have powers," said Kara.

"Yeah, well, there's that. But I hope, I mean I hope it wasn't hard for you, seeing that world." Alex looked Kara in the eyes, wanting to see her reaction.

"You mean, because Alura was there? And Zor-El, I think, but you got his face wrong." She said it lightly, but Alex knew her well enough to know she probably just didn't want to address that pain.

_I can go along with that, if that's what she needs right now._ Alex raised her eyebrows. "I did? Well, I've never actually seen him. But yeah, that was supposed to be him."

"Why _were_ they there? In your ideal world?"

"Because... my ideal world is one where you're happy."

Kara pulled Alex into a tight hug. "I am happy, you know that, right? I mean, it's not perfect but... it's good."

Alex tried to smile, but her heart wasn't in it. "I know."

"Are you two going to come join us, or are we going to have to eat all this on our own?" asked Lucy.

"We're on our way!" said Kara, laughing. "There'd better be food left when we get there!"

She turned back to Alex. "Are you okay? You seem sad."

Alex shrugged. "Just the aftermath of that dream, I guess." She only felt a little bad about the lie. "By the way, those were some nice tricks there, dream warrior."

"Tricks? Oh, the bit with the wall, and the badge I threw you. Yeah, I couldn't do much, but... it seemed to help."

* * *

 

Alex didn't get home until late, at the tail end of a party with Kara, Winn, Lucy, and James that would have been a hell of a lot more enjoyable if she hadn't had the weight of Astra's imminent departure weighing on her. As it was, she drank a little more than she probably should have, took a cab home, and found herself fumbling with the key to her apartment building when the door buzzed open.

A bit dazed, she stumbled inside and started up the stairs. She tripped over the stair just before her floor's landing, and fell against someone's chest. She would have jumped away with a quick apology and pushed past them to her door, but their arms wrapped around her shoulders and she realized it was Astra.

She put her arms around Astra's waist and grabbed onto her shirt, then climbed that last stair without letting go. She kissed Astra right in the middle of the hallway where everyone could see, wishing that, like in her dream, they could be open about their love.

Not that it was ever easy, loving another woman and being open about it, but normally the consequences for being discovered were not quite so varied, and hopefully not so dire.

Astra allowed the kiss, then guided her to the door and let her in.

Almost as soon as the door closed, Alex was tugging at Astra's clothes, unbuttoning her shirt, then her pants.

Astra pulled her hands away. Her eyes were sad.

Alex yanked her hands from Astra's grasp, but didn't try again. "Please. One last time? Before you go?"

"If I can come back, I will. This may not be the end. And you are drunk."

"Not _that_ drunk," argued Alex. When Astra didn't reply, she gave in. "Okay, fine, but can you at least hold me? Kiss me?"

Astra's response was a kiss, so slow and tender Alex almost couldn't take it. She ached for more, for that desperate passion that had brought them together, something strong and wild, to drown her feelings.

Alex suspected that even if she'd been sober, Astra wouldn't have been in the mood.

Alex wasn't good at this, wasn't good at coping with strong emotions, for all the advice she gave Kara about them. She always wanted to run, and sometimes she did.

But tonight was the last time for a while (weeks? months? ever?) that she would get to see Astra, so she stayed, and clung, and let Astra kiss her in that slow, soft, sad way, here in the living room, and in bed, late into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dream warrior stuff comes from the Adventures of Supergirl comic, which I would highly recommend that you read, and which takes place during season 1, but I'm not sure when. It's possible that it takes place after the Black Mercy episode, in which case Alex shouldn't know about it... whatever.
> 
> I have tentative ideas for a couple of short fics in the same universe as this one, to fill in the gaps that occur due to Alex being the sole viewpoint character. So keep an eye out for that.


	21. Absence

Alex woke up alone in her bed, to a cold pillow and a silent apartment. She opened her bedroom drawer and took out the Myriad blocker Astra had given her, turning it in her hands. With Non dead, several of his subordinates captured, and their most recent operation foiled, she probably wouldn't need it. But it _was_ pretty... reluctantly, she put it away.

Trudging into the living room, she found a note on the fridge.

 

Dearest Alex,

I am following through with my plan and will see Kara before I leave. I thought it best to leave early, before I lose my nerve.

That was a real risk, though you may not believe it. I will miss you dearly while I am gone. I expect my work to take several weeks, if not longer.

I will endeavor to send you an update, most likely by email or text, once a week if possible, but I will likely spend much of my time in remote areas, with people who fear discovery and are leery of human communication devices.

You need not wait for me, should my work keep me away for an extended period. I wish for you to be happy more than I wish for my own happiness. I fear, however, that we are too much alike in this.

Watch over Kara, and take care of yourself. I pray that our paths may someday cross again, as friends if not as lovers.

Yours,

Astra In-Ze

 

Alex carefully folded the note and put it in her pocket, her eyes stinging with tears.

"Damn it!" She slammed her fist against the fridge, not caring that it hurt.

* * *

 

"Did something happen between you and Astra?" demanded Kara, stalking into Alex's lab in full costume, her eyes darting around to the corners of the room as though Astra might suddenly reappear.

"Not really, no," said Alex. She picked up her mug, the one Eliza had given her, and took a swig, then grimaced and set it back down. The contents had gone cold, and she was down to the dregs anyway, to little blobs of half-dissolved creamer and instant coffee.

"Then why did she leave? When is she coming back? Wait, _is_ she coming back? She wouldn't tell me much of anything!"

_If Astra didn't tell Kara, I probably shouldn't._ "Listen, I probably don't know much more than you do."

Kara crossed her arms. "Bullshit. She's your girlfriend."

"And you know how secretive she can get." _I have to tell her_ something. "I only found out she was leaving last night. She doesn't know when she's coming back."

"But she _is_ coming back?"

_God, I hope so._ "As soon as she can."

"She's doing something dangerous, isn't she."

_No point in hiding that, if Kara's already guessed it._ "Probably."

"You should have told me sooner! Why didn't you?" Kara was getting mad now, working herself up into a tizzy.

"Astra's idea. She wanted you to be able to celebrate without that hanging over you."

Kara's eyes narrowed. "Is that why you were drinking so much last night?"

"That's part of it."

"Did she break up with you?"

"Not... not really." _I think._ "But she said I shouldn't wait for her, if her work kept her away too long."

Kara's shoulders drooped. "Oh. It really... might take her a while, then."

"Yeah," said Alex.

Kara's eyes were way too soft and sad and understanding and Alex hated feeling weak. "Are you going to miss her?"

"I already do." Alex thought of the letter in her pocket. She'd reread it twice already. "Hey, listen, I don't think I can make it to movie night this week."

Kara frowned, and Alex could guess what she was thinking. Kara didn't, to Alex's knowledge, know the full extent of Alex's grad school spiral, but she worried about Alex's drinking, even though it was now under control.

She had every right to drink, in a situation like this, as long as it didn't affect her work. She'd stop in a few days, when she got used to waking up alone. Or once she knew Astra was safe. Something like that.

"Alex—"

"No. I don't want to hear it. I have my own ways of dealing with this, all right?"

"I wasn't going to—"

"You were. I'm trained to analyze body language... and even if I wasn't, I know you. So save it."

Kara looked her up and down, biting back some angry reply, then turned and walked out of the room.

Watching her go hurt, but Alex really didn't have the energy to deal with Kara's concern.

* * *

 

Alex thought about going to a bar, but she was in the kind of mood she would once have dealt with by picking someone up, and she didn't want to give up on Astra yet... but three or four drinks in she might feel differently about it. She thought about seeing if someone wanted to hang out, but she wasn't feeling that social, and looking through her contacts, most of whom she hadn't seen since before her grad school slump, was just depressing. Plus, she'd pushed Kara away. She thought about going to the movies by herself, but nothing appealed.

Which left her with booze as the only appealing option. Astra would have hated it, but...

"She's not here," muttered Alex. She took a sip of whiskey.

* * *

 

The next morning, she woke up with a pounding headache that her alarm only aggravated. But she wouldn't let that keep her down, especially not when staying home would mean facing the empty apartment by herself.

Almost as soon as she arrived at the DEO, though, she ran into Susan.

Susan looked her up and down. "Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

Alex sighed. "Whatever's on your mind, Vasquez, go ahead."

"You look like crap."

Alex grimaced. "Thanks."

"Maybe I'm wrong, but... I think you've had a rough couple of weeks, and now Agent Lee is missing and you've had some kind of disagreement with Supergirl..."

Alex crossed her arms. "What're you getting at?"

"I think you need something to look forward to. I think you need a friend."

"That's sweet, but what I need right now is to get to the lab. And maybe a gallon or two of coffee."

"Suit yourself," said Susan. "But if you want to talk, I'll be around."

Alex pushed past Vasquez, heading for the break room where coffee waited—maybe even a pot of decent coffee, if she was lucky.

* * *

 

Alex was ready to spar, but her partner hadn't arrived yet. Sometimes it was prearranged, but others, it was based on availability and shifts, or orders from Hank. Normally, she sparred with Kara a few times a week, but since she'd pushed Kara away Alex hadn't seen her in the ring... and that wasn't enough to keep Alex in practice anyway, since it was mostly for Kara's benefit.

The door opened, and J'onn stepped inside, looking stern, as he often did when in disguise.

Alex raised her eyebrows. " _You're_ my sparring partner today?"

J'onn nodded. "It _has_ been a while. I thought I should check your progress myself."

"Really?" _Bullshit. He knows how I fight._ "Sorry Hank, but I'm not buying it." _Besides, I know he's holding back now._

"Well, like it or not, you're stuck with me," said J'onn, climbing onto the platform and taking a fighting stance.

_I've beaten him before, but not reliably, and he might not hold back as much anymore... I should be careful._ Alex wasn't even sure how much he could use his powers when in disguise, or what their full extent was. So she circled him, wanting him to make the first move.

Which he did, a lazy grab that she easily avoided. _He's testing me. He wants to see if I'm paying attention. Or I'm right and this isn't about fighting at all..._

His second attack was faster, and she had to block, rather than evading it. But that left an opening and she tried to get inside his guard, only to end up on her back, the wind knocked out of her. _Did he just...?_

He offered a hand to help her up, and she took it, wary, struggling to breathe.

When she could speak again, she said, "This really isn't about sparring, is it?"

"What do you think?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I think you want to talk about something and I think I'm not going to like it."

"Alex..." He sighed.

"I'm right, aren't I? But why go to all this trouble?"

"I wasn't lying earlier. I really do want to see how you're doing. But you're right. I do want to talk."

"Fine."

"You were close to Astra."

"I-"

"You don't have to confirm it. I understand why you didn't tell me."

Alex let her shoulders slump. "How long have you known?"

"I still don't know, officially. But I've had a pretty good idea for some time now. I don't intentionally eavesdrop, except in emergencies, but even without that... sometimes you two weren't subtle."

"Great." _Does everyone know?_

"I'm more perceptive than most, even without my powers. The point is... she left, and you have every right to be upset, but you're not taking care of yourself."

She crossed her arms. "Has it affected my work?"

"Not yet, but at this rate it will. How much have you been drinking? How long has it been since your last decent meal?"

"I'd rather spar than talk," said Alex, putting up her guard. "And you're not my father, _Hank_."

"I'm aware of that." J'onn made no move to defend himself. "But I made a promise to him... and I know I don't say this often, but I care about you."

Even in her current state, Alex couldn't help but feel a little moved by that, but she didn't let it show.

"Take some time off, if you think that would help."

Alex quickly shook her head. She hadn't taken time off, except a few days here and there for holidays and a couple of sick days, since she started at the DEO, and she wasn't about to start.

"You have vacation time, you know, and we'll do fine for a few days without you."

That was exactly the wrong thing to say, even though she understood how he meant it.

Joining the DEO had saved her from her lack of purpose in grad school, the feeling that Kara didn't need her anymore. It had given her a way to continue helping Kara, as well as to be useful to others... as well as getting her hands on technology and alien samples she could never even have known about as a civilian.

She'd recovered, not completely but quite a bit, but sometimes, on her bad days, her job was the only thing that kept her going.

And she'd just had a week of bad days. The last thing she needed was to feel useless, unnecessary.

"I'm not taking time off," said Alex.

J'onn gazed at her for a moment, and she had the feeling he knew what she meant, whether from memory or some superhuman insight. "Fine, but I won't send you out there if I think your fatigue makes you a liability."

Alex could accept that. "I won't put other agents at risk, sir."

"Don't put yourself in unnecessary risk, either," said J'onn.

"Noted. Now, if this talk is over?" Alex raised an eyebrow and readied herself to spar.

* * *

 

Alex's first message from Astra came after a full week of drinking and agonized waiting, a text from an unfamiliar number, probably a burner phone.

 

I am making good progress here, but cannot return as yet. Saw Supergirl in the paper—you know I'm a fan. Will attempt to contact in one week's time. Probably out of danger for foreseeable future. -A

 

Alex stared at the words. She had no way to prove they were from Astra, but they were the best she would get anytime soon.

And, if they were true, Astra was safe—or as safe as she could reasonably be, at least. That was a load off of Alex's shoulders, but Astra's absence still hurt, and Alex found herself unable to fully trust that claim of safety.

She probably wouldn't until she had Astra in her arms again... or at least in front of her.

* * *

 

Alex was supposed to meet Kara for movie night, their first since Astra's departure. Kara seemed frustrated with Alex, not that she didn't deserve it, but Alex was feeling a bit better and hoping to make amends. She wasn't expecting Lucy Lane to open the door when she knocked.

But there she was, dressed in one of the low-cut blouses that would definitely have made a younger, less confident Alex a stuttering mess, especially if she'd been single.

Which she wasn't.

In spite of her attire, Lucy didn't smile, her attitude all business. "Agent Danvers. Or... Alex? Do you mind if I call you Alex?"

"No, go ahead." But the use of her title made Alex nervous. _Is Lucy here as Kara's friend? As a member of the... what does Kara call it? The supersquad? Or as General Lane's daughter and former subordinate?_

Alex stepped inside, and Lucy didn't say anything until she closed the door.

"Alex, then. I know this is supposed to be your sort of... family night, and I don't want to get in the way of that, so I'll make this quick, but... I have something to show you." She lead the way to the kitchen island, and indicated a manila folder. "A contact sent these to CatCo... Kara and James have already seen them, but they thought you should, too."

Alex opened the folder. Inside were a number of photos. They were dark, some of them grainy, of a small number of beings, mostly humanoid, who seemed to be conversing. In some of the clearer photos, Alex could see a woman with a pale streak in her dark hair. _Astra._

"I see. What are you going to do with them?" Alex wanted to glare, to jump to Astra's defense, but she needed to know where Lucy stood first.

"That depends. Do you know what's going on here? Kara's already told me that this woman is her aunt. I don't have the clearance, but I suspect if we checked the DEO's files on Fort Rozz, some or all of the others would be former prisoners."

"If I can give you a good reason why she might be talking with them, will you keep this a secret?"

Lucy took a deep breath. "I don't know you like I do Kara, and we definitely started off on the wrong foot, but... she trusts you. If your rationale satisfies me, I'll do as you ask."

"Fair enough." So Alex explained what Astra had told her of her plans. "I trust her. She's not going to turn on us."

"Okay," said Lucy. "Now the problem is, who else knows about these photos? At CatCo, just James, Kara, and I. But if the photographer sent these to anyone else, we could have a problem."

"Is there a way of tracing who sent them? I don't think we can afford to bring the DEO into this—"

"Wait, isn't Hank on board?" asked Kara.

Lucy shot her a look of surprise.

_Careful. Lucy still doesn't know about J'onn._ "Yes," said Alex, "but not officially. Do you think Winn could do it?"

"We could ask," said Kara.

* * *

 

"Thanks for bringing this to me," said Alex as she saw Lucy out.

"I didn't do it for you," said Lucy. "But you're welcome."

"No, you did it for Kara. That's how it should be." Alex smiled.

"I'm beginning to understand why she idolizes you," said Lucy, her eyes wide. "You really do put her first, don't you?"

"Every time," said Alex in a low voice, not that it would stop Kara listening if she wanted to. "I take it your sister isn't like that with you?"

Lucy snorted. "Nope. Not in a million years. But I do _not_ want to talk about her."

"Noted," said Alex. _Better not mention that we've met. Especially because I doubt she knows about Clark._

"I doubt your employers appreciate that, though. Or do they not realize?"

"It hasn't caused any issues. Kara wouldn't turn on the DEO."

"I know that." said Lucy, half turning to look at Kara, who was pretending not listen but probably hearing every word. "I trust her, of course I do. But you know how certain people—"

"You mean your father?"

Lucy grimaced. "Among others. I'd gotten the impression that Henshaw was one of them, at least at one time."

Alex shrugged. "He may have been. He's a good boss now, though, and he has no problem with Kara."

"Good to know. Well, Dad won't hear about this from me, at least."

"Thanks. Really."

"Good night," said Lucy, with a little wave back at Kara.

"Bye." Alex shut the door behind her. When she turned, Kara was looking at the door, or possibly through it, with a goofy smile. "Oh wow. You've got it bad."

"Can you blame me? She's been great lately. So has James. Besides... I saw how you were looking at her, and _you_ have a girlfriend."

"Nuh uh. You don't get to make this about me. Astra's hotter, anyway."

"You just had to make this weird," said Kara, and flung a pillow at Alex's head.

Alex was alert enough to dodge it, this time. "Sure you want to start this?" she asked, picking up the pillow and tossing it back. "Remember, I'm a secret agent."

Kara caught it. "And I'm a superhero. Maybe you're the one who should be worried."

"I don't know about that. Remember, I know all of your weaknesses." Alex lifted her hands and wiggled her fingers at Kara in reminder of past tickle fights.

"You do that, I'm not letting you have any of the pizza. Which I already ordered."

"Fine. Truce?" Alex held out her hand.

"Truce," said Kara, shaking it. "I'm glad you're feeling better, and I'm sorry I was hard on you when Astra left."

Alex nodded. Kara hadn't really been all that harsh, but she hadn't been much help, either. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Kara shuffled her feet. "It's fine, you were hurting. But... what changed?"

"Well, I did hear from her."

"You did?"

"Yes. She says she's safe, but not coming back yet." _Which might be for the better, if there's a chance General Lane is looking for her._

"That's all?" asked Kara.

"Pretty much. What about you? You broke up with Adam, right?" She'd heard about it from Winn, of all people, who, in another surprise, had asked about Astra. Apparently they were some kind of friends.

"Um?" Kara shrugged. "I was gone most of the day the Black Mercy attacked you, and Adam was weird about that, but everyone who knew the truth—James and Lucy and Winn—was really supportive, and... I realized I either had to tell him or break up with him."

"Oh." Alex felt bad about that, suddenly, as though it were her fault that Kara was single again.

"And that was... that was okay, I don't think I'll regret it but... he decided to leave National City and Cat didn't take it well. Said we should be professional or something, and then the other day she hired a second assistant... it'd be horrible at work, except for the supersquad. I am _really_ glad I told Lucy."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but after what she just told us, I am too." Alex frowned. "Wait, do you think she knows who your cousin is?"

Kara shook her head. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't... she talks about Superman and Clark as if they were two different people."

"Well, score one for Clark, then. Though that might be a problem eventually, if she keeps hanging out with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my trip, and everything should continue more or less on-schedule from here on out.


	22. Return

It wasn't Kara's words that tipped Alex off, so much as her attitude, her behavior. Not listening was odd for her, especially now that she'd learned to get along better with J'onn. Putting her feet up on the table, especially with shoes on, was even odder.

That was one of their differences—not only was Kara, in general, more polite than Alex, she'd assimilated the rules of etiquette better, though whether it was due to her personality, her Kryptonian upbringing, or as a way of trying to blend in, Alex couldn't say.

So for Kara to intentionally break such a simple rule, especially in this context, was strange.

So was the hole in the wall one of the agents had found shortly after Kara's departure, a hole she could easily have made. But the Kara Alex knew... she wouldn't have, unless she had a good reason.

Or was losing control of her powers, which would be just as worrisome as her erratic behavior.

Was she going through something? Something she'd neglected to share with Alex? That, too, seemed unlikely. But the other alternative was worse: something external had changed her.

Alex could reason with an angry or depressed Kara. A changed Kara, though? She had no idea.

Alex kept hoping that it was nothing, just her imagination or Kara having an off day... but then the K'hund claimed Kara had let him go on purpose.

* * *

 

Alex stared at the screen. She had accessed the Internet from a public library computer and was writing to Astra from a throwaway account.

 

If you return, I recommend caution. Someone has been watching you and certain parties may be suspicious.

Yours, A

 

Should she mention Kara's behavior? It might be nothing but she definitely hadn't been herself...

 

PS: Do you know of anything that might affect the behavior of a certain acquaintance of ours? She has been not been herself lately—quite irritable and rude.

* * *

 

Before long Kara's friends showed up: Winn, James, and Lucy. Lucy Lane, who apparently was just waltzing into the DEO now? _Great._

But they looked worried, especially James, so Alex set protocol and her feelings about Lucy aside for the moment.

"What brings you here?"

"Kara's not herself," said Lucy with a glance at James.

"Yeah," he agreed, "she... well, something happened to her."

Alex nodded sharply, wishing Astra was there to help her puzzle it out. "She's been different... unfocused. I didn't want to think it was serious, but then she let an alien fugitive go."

"Pull up the missions Supergirl has run in the last 48 hours," said J'onn.

"The fire," said Alex, starting to put it all together. _Kara started acting strangely after the fire._

* * *

 

"Who the hell would make kryptonite?"

"Yeah, that's my bad."

Alex spun. The words came from Maxwell Lord, walking in with his hands up.

_I should have let Astra murder him._

* * *

 

"Come on," complained Lord from inside the cell. "This isn't necessary. I came here to help."

_Because his plot backfired. And maybe to ingratiate himself to me, now that Astra's gone._ The thought made Alex a little queasy.

"Rumor has it Non is no more, but his army is still out there... including, perhaps, a certain former associate of the DEO?"

Alex knew she shouldn't react to that. She kept her expression the same as before—which is to say angry. Disdainful.

"No reaction? And here I thought you two were close." Lord smirked. "In any case, they'll be back, so I took matters into my own hands."

"You set a trap."

"Bingo," said Lord, still pleased with himself in spite of his failure.

"Even though the Kryptonian threat has been largely neutralized," said Alex, daring him to deny it.

"Has it? Can you swear that to me? How many of them are there, still out there? More than the number on our side? By how many?"

Alex's skin crawled at being placed on the same side as him, and she did the calculation—not that she planned to tell him the results. Non dead. Others captured. At least two Kryptonian former prisoners still out there, plus whatever other forces... but they might or might not be on Astra's side now, and kryptonite wouldn't help with the other species...

"I never meant to endanger any firefighters or civilians. Not even Supergirl," said Lord.

She almost believed him. Almost. "But you did. Because you're paranoid."

"Moving on... the synthetic K didn't work as planned."

"Of course it didn't," said Alex.

"I wasn't targeting Supergirl, nor was I expecting these effects..."

"You were expecting her to _die_ ," said Alex, barely containing the rage that boiled in her belly. If she'd had heat vision, Lord might be dead by now.

"When I realized Supergirl had been exposed, I started tracking her to see what the red kryptonite would do to her."

_Tracking her? Like you did me and Astra?_

"I saw her let the alien escape, and I didn't know what to think. Then tonight, she threw Cat Grant off her building."

Lucy gasped.

"She killed Miss Grant?" asked Winn, looking a bit faint.

"No, Cat has nine lives, she's fine," said Lord.

"But Supergirl isn't," said Alex.

"I'm sorry, Alex," said Lord, looking, for once, genuinely contrite. "I created red kryptonite. Maybe I can create an antidote."

* * *

 

They released Lord from the cell, and Alex reluctantly lead the way to her lab, with Kara's friends trailing along some distance behind them.

"I really am sorry," said Lord, closing the distance between them as she opened the door to the lab, where Astra's few contributions had been put away, inconspicuous. He put a hand on Alex's shoulder. It was probably supposed to be comforting, but it made her skin crawl. "Maybe we should—"

"You touch me again," said Alex, plucking his hand from her shoulder, "and I'll—"

"What? Arrest me? The DEO doesn't exist," said Lord.

"—see that you get charged with assault on a federal officer. The DEO may not officially exist, but I _am_ officially a federal agent, and what you just did is technically assault." She was pretty sure the charges wouldn't stick—the man could hire some of the best lawyers in the country, and probably already had, but she needed to threaten him with _something_.

"She's right, you know," said Lucy, joining them. Even in her civilian clothes, she looked threatening with her arms crossed like that. It must be something in her bearing, because it definitely wasn't her height or build. "Lucy Lane, attorney—"

"Major Lane," said Lord smoothly. "Your reputation precedes you."

He held out a hand, but she didn't offer to shake.

"Have it your way. I'll be in the lab." With that, he stepped inside and let the door close behind him.

Lucy watched him go. "My reputation, huh? He's been talking to my father."

_That wouldn't surprise me, but..._ "How do you figure?"

"My reputation never precedes me, not when Dad and Lois are around."

Alex nodded her understanding. "I know something about having famous relatives."

"You would, wouldn't you?" said Lucy. "Well, we'd better get out of your hair, but if Supergirl needs anything..." she hesitated, then, "if _you_ need anything, call me."

"Thanks," said Alex. _Kara could do a_ lot _worse than her,_ she thought.

She watched Kara's friends leave, Winn frazzled, James quietly concerned, and Lucy outwardly composed but serious.

* * *

 

Alex drew her gun as soon as she saw that Kara's door was ajar. Her heart pounded, so loudly she could almost hear it. "Kara?"

She stepped inside the darkened apartment, gun raised, and gave a start as she spotted Kara near the window.

Kara looked... different. Sure, her hair was much the way she usually wore it as Supergirl, but her makeup was heavily, more dramatic, and she wore a black bodysuit, much like those the Kryptonians wore, with the crest of El in red on the breast.

She looked a little like Astra, in Astra's more commanding moments, but Astra had never, in all the time Alex had known her, had such a mad look in her eyes.

Kara was fighting it. She had to be fighting it. Right?

"Hello, sister," said Kara in a tone Alex had never heard her use, not even in the heat of anger.

Oh, she'd seen Kara rage, she'd seen her mourn, but this... this vicious, cruel side? That was new. That had to be the red kryptonite.

"Like the new look? Or... are you jealous, now that you can't keep me out of the limelight anymore?" Kara fired a quick burst of heat vision at her clothes rack, setting it ablaze.

"Kara!" Alex ran for the fire extinguisher, putting out the fire while Kara laughed.

"Don't bother, I won't need them anymore," said Kara.

"Kara, this isn't you!" said Alex. _I've got to get through to her somehow... if I can't, who can?_

"You think you know me? Always giving me advice, all high and mighty." Her voice changed into an eerily close approximation of Alex's own. " _Be careful, Kara. Don't tell anyone, Kara. Give him space and time, Kara._ As if your own life was so perfect. Well, this is who I am now. Get used to it."

"Listen, you were exposed to red kryptonite. It altered your brain, you're not seeing clearly—"

"Oh, I see clearly," retorted Kara. "You have always been jealous of me. Of my powers. Of what I can do and the attention I get. You didn't want me to be a superhero."

"No," said Alex. "I'm proud of you." It was all she could do to keep it together, to keep arguing in the face of this new, angry Kara.

Kara looked more alien than she ever had, more so than the little lost girl that had shown up in Alex's back yard twelve years earlier. It was her expression, the coldness and arrogance she had about her. What Astra wore as armor Kara seemed to wield as a weapon. "When you couldn't stop me, you got me to work for you. To retain some control. You even got my aunt working for you. Sleeping with you!" Kara took a step closer. "That made you feel special, for once. Now that she's gone, where does that leave you? Why do you think she left, huh? Maybe she saw how _pathetic_ you are."

Alex's heart gave a twist at that. "Kara, you know that's not true. She'll be back."

"Will she? You'd like that, wouldn't you? Spending all your time together. You're so co-dependent, you moved in together before you even started dating."

_Is she jealous? Does she want more time with Astra? Or maybe... with me?_ That last bit was sounding less and less likely the more Kara spoke, resentment dripping from every word, but Alex tried to make herself believe, in spite of the tears stinging her eyes, that Kara didn't really feel that way.

"We can talk about this... if you're feeling lonely we can—"

"What? Go back to pretending to be a perfect little family?" Kara laughed again, and a shiver went up Alex's back. "You're not my sister, Alex. You never were. We don't share blood."

Everything Kara said seemed designed to cut Alex to the core, like the voice of her worst doubts brought to life. Which probably meant that Kara knew... that Kara had seen through her, had noticed all of the resentments and insecurities she'd spent years trying to hide.

And now she was pulling Alex apart, tearing off bits of her heart and leaving them bleeding on the floor.

But Kara wasn't done. "Without me, you're nothing. You wouldn't have your life, your job, your..." Kara's face twisted in disgust, "your girlfriend. You've always resented me. Is that why you slept with my aunt? Out of some sick obsession? Or in revenge?"

"No, Kara, I—" There were tears rolling down Alex's face. She didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Aww, did I make you cry?" It would have seemed childish if it hadn't been so cruel. "You know what they say, the truth hurts."

Kara launched herself in the air then, disappearing into the sky.

Alex watched her go, holstering her gun with automatic movements. _Astra, I could really use you here right now._

She wasn't sure whether she wanted Astra to comfort her or to stop Kara.

* * *

 

By the time Alex caught up to Kara, Max Lord's gun in hand, she was terrorizing downtown, laughing at the police and setting their cars on fire. The other DEO agents fired but their Kryptonite rounds didn't have any effect. Alex wasn't shocked, not really, though she'd questioned whether it was really necessary to bring out the big guns when tranquilizers had been enough before.

But Kara had thought of it, and somehow incorporated anti-kryptonite technology into her new suit.

Alex stepped out of the car and aimed, charging her gun, but before she could fire Kara struck, knocking her over. A sharp pain ran up Alex's arm and she gasped.

Kara hovered in front of her, her expression mocking where it would normally have been contrite. "Classic Alex. Always in time to ruin the fun."

Guess she doesn't care about keeping secrets right now. "Supergirl. I want to help you."

J'onn pulled up in another car and almost immediately charged Kara. "Supergirl, no!"

Kara knocked him aside, and resumed her former position. "Doesn't look like help to me."

"Please, you have to stop!" cried Alex, a last-ditch effort. If she could even persuade Kara to stay still long enough, she could fire.

"Nothing on Earth can stop me," said Kara. Her eyes began to glow and the veins in her face stood out, a faint red glow Alex had never noticed before.

"You don't want to kill me."

Alex caught a movement, behind Kara. It was J'onn. He was going to reveal himself to the world, lose his place at the DEO, maybe get captured, taken heaven knows where... almost exactly what Jeremiah had feared happening to Kara. And who knows what would happen to the DEO in his absence, what kind of person might be placed in charge... probably someone like the original Hank Henshaw. Or worse.

He started moving, but before he could change shape, something... no, someone, slammed into Kara. Whoever it was, they wore mostly blue, with a white cape and hood. Their boots and belt were black, though, Alex noticed as they threw Kara into the ground.

_They? She? It can't be... Astra?_

Astra or not, the woman appeared to be Kryptonian, meeting Kara's heat vision with her own. With the pair immobile for the moment, Alex saw that the woman wore a black mask under her hood.

_I wish Kara had one of those. Maybe after we get her back._ Alex had to believe they would.

The two traded blow for blow, at times moving almost too fast for Alex to follow. She pointed the gun at them, one-handed, waiting for her shot.

_Come on, come on..._

And there it was—Astra, if it was her, held Kara in place, hanging in the air not far from Alex. She took her shot, and it hit.

_Oh god, please let it work. And what if it does something to Astra?_

But Astra, or whoever she was, lowered Kara to the ground, then took off before the DEO agents present had time to fire on her, shattering a few windows with a sonic boom.

_We did it._ Alex scrambled over to Kara. Lying on the ground, she appeared uninjured, a cloud of something red dispersing around her unconscious form.

Alex looked up, meeting J'onn's eyes across the rubble.

He gave a little nod, as if to say he was proud of her.

* * *

 

Alex busied herself with little, unimportant tasks while she waited for Kara to wake up. At last, she heard movement, and turned to look.

Kara opened her eyes. She still wore the same makeup, the same costume she had chosen when under the influence of Lord's artificial kryptonite, but Alex knew as soon as Kara opened her eyes that she was herself again.

"Did I kill anyone?" ask Kara in an incredibly small, weak voice.

If Alex hadn't been so drained and still hurt by Kara's words, if Kara had used that tone under almost any other circumstance, she would have wanted to gather her sister into her arms, to assure her that everything would be okay.

But right now she couldn't, and she suspected that wasn't really what Kara needed, either. "No. You didn't kill anyone."

Alex wasn't surprised when Kara broke down after that, when she gave a shaky apology, an explanation. And she felt for Kara, too—it had to be horrible, losing control like that, being aware of what she was saying and doing but unable to stop it, prey to the worst parts of her psyche... but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt. It didn't mean they didn't need to talk about it.

"Kara, you're my sister, and I love you, no matter what." Alex paused, just for a moment, to let that sink in, let Kara know that she meant it. "But there's some truth to what you said. We're going to have to work on that."

"What about... the woman, that stopped me? Who was that?"

"I'm not sure," said Alex, "but I can guess, and I think you can too." She didn't want to say, not at the DEO, not with General Lane probably on Astra's trail.

"Who—oh." Alex watched Kara's face go through a series of expressions—realization, joy, remorse. "Oh, no, if she's here I should apologize to her, I, I said terrible things about you two—"

"She's not at the DEO. As far as I know she might be far away by now. For now, you should rest. We should both rest, and talk about this later. Okay?"

Kara nodded, still sniffling, and Alex helped her up.

* * *

 

Alex was exhausted by the time she got home, just emotionally drained but physically to boot. She'd taken an experimental treatment that promised to heal her arm in less than the several weeks it would normally have taken, but it was too soon to tell if it was working, and her arm throbbed. Plus, even if it did work it was supposed to be quite draining—she could expect to need to sleep significantly more over the next few days, according to the researcher who had administered the treatment.

She was so exhausted that she didn't notice the intruder in her apartment until she was face to face with her. Her urge to reach for her gun faded when she saw who it was.

"Astra? I thought it was you."

Astra wore the suit she'd worn to stop Kara, but with the hood thrown back, the mask off. Her hair was still as thick and wavy as ever, but the sides were clipped short and even the top trimmed, falling to one side and over one ear in an undercut that left the white streak clearly visible.

"How is Kara? Winn told me about the red kryptonite."

_Winn? When did she see him? Did he make her suit or something?_ "She's... well, she's devastated, but she's herself again. Thanks in no small part to you." Alex reached out with her uninjured hand to stroke Astra's face.

Astra's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and when they reopened, they fixed on the sling that covered Alex's arm. "You are injured."

"A broken arm. I'll be fine." Alex cracked a half-smile. "I like the new look."

"Thank you," said Astra. "I thought it was time. A chapter of my life has ended; a new one, I hope, is just beginning."

Alex gazed at her for a moment, then kissed Astra, her good hand rubbing the short hair that covered the back of her head. As much as she'd missed Astra, she was too drained to be desperate, so she moved slowly, an inadvertent echo of the sad kisses they'd shared on their last night together.

"You can't stay," she said at last, though it hurt to say it. "General Lane must be looking for you—there are some photos that make it look like you've turned on us. Maybe Max Lord, too, and he knows where I live."

"I had gathered as much from your message," said Astra "Then, too, there is still much work for me to do, though I have had some success already. But surely, a few hours... if you are willing..."

Alex could see where Astra was going with that, but she was just too tired. Down to her bones. To her aching heart, to her soul. So she kissed Astra, briefly, and shook her head. "The longer you stay here the more dangerous it is. Go now." _While I can still let you go._

Astra nodded, and wrapped her arms around Alex ever so gently, careful of her injured arm, then kissed her forehead.

"Take care... _ehrosh :bem_ , Alex." Astra let her go, and pulled on her mask before heading for the fire escape.

" _Ehrosh :bem,_ " murmured Alex, trying to ignore the knot in her throat, the tears that wouldn't come after crying so much already that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Certain lines, particularly in the scene where Lord is in the cell, in Alex's argument with Kara, and in the fight scene, are taken verbatim or paraphrased from Supergirl 1x16: Falling by Robert Rovner and Jessica Queller.
> 
> I believe the costume in this episode was the gift from Astra that Non passed on to Kara at Astra's funeral, but let's just say that for the purposes of this fic she uses super-weaving to make it (thanks, old ridiculous Superman comics).
> 
> I'm also making use of the bit where Kryptonians (or... Superman, at least) can do really good voice impressions. I know it from Superman: the Animated Series but I'm sure it shows up elsewhere.
> 
> Some of the events in this chapter-notably Astra showing up in costume to save Kara and Winn making that costume-have been planned more or less from the beginning, and it was fun to finally get to share them with you folks.


	23. Traitor

Alex hadn't seen Astra since she'd told her to leave, but she was trying not to worry, without much success. She gave a start when Susan poked her head into the lab.

"Ma'am, you need to join us in the control room."

Alex put away her project and followed Susan. Everyone the DEO had on duty was there, including Kara, facing off against Lucy Lane, in uniform and carrying a briefcase and a man in military uniform, a colonel, who looked a little familiar.

A knot formed in Alex's stomach as she listened to the introductions, as Lucy denied Kara's optimistic assumption that Lucy was there as their legal counsel. Alex had trusted Lucy. Was that a mistake?

Lucy nodded to Susan and some images appeared on the screen—Astra, talking to the aliens, the same photos Lucy had shown them at Kara's apartment. Had Lucy used them to ID the photos, with the intention of turning Astra in? But in that case, why wait until now?

"We want to know who among you knew about her plans. We're concerned you may all have been compromised by her." She turned to Alex. "Agent Danvers, you're first."

_This is bad. Kara just about told her that J'onn knew what Astra was planning. If she takes the both of us in, I don't want to think what will happen to the DEO. If she takes Kara in..._

Alex shook off the thoughts as Lucy and Colonel Harper lead her to the interrogation room. She had to appear composed.

She focused on Lucy as she asked her questions, trying to read her. But Lucy was good, as good as J'onn had trained her to be. It was impossible to tell if she was committed to this role or if she was pretending.

"What is your relationship with the alien criminal known as Astra?" asked Lucy.

"I was the first agent to contact her, and her handler during her probation," said Alex. "We worked closely together."

"You must see how suspicious that looks now," said Colonel Harper, venomous. "You bring her into the DEO, work with her, and she betrays us. You must have known what she was planning."

"What _is_ she planning? You have photos of her interacting with other aliens, but nothing concrete."

"How much more concrete can you get? She's consorting with alien criminals—fellow alien criminals. Need I remind you, Agent Danvers, that according to your own reports, she, too, is a Fort Rozz escapee? I question your judgment in ever recruiting her! Unless you were a traitor from the beginning."

"Her work with the DEO justified that risk," said Alex.

"They say you're close to Supergirl, too," said Harper. "Maybe you just like aliens too much."

 _And you hate them too easily._ "Supergirl is an asset to the DEO," said Alex, though she wanted to rip him a new one.

"There's something else," said Lucy. With a nod to Colonel Harper, she opened the briefcase and removed a small laptop, placing it on the table. After a moment she turned it to face Alex, then pressed a key.

A video appeared on the screen. Alex recognized the DEO's parking garage in spite of the dim lighting, jerky camera movements, and low angle. Then Astra appeared, stalking towards the lens with a familiar determination

"Astr-" It was Alex's voice, and if she hadn't recognized the scene, she did now.

 _I knew that was a mistake. Damn him._ Alex was making the connections now. Max had sent the video to the military, and someone—probably General Lane—had shown it to Lucy to convince her that her trust in Alex, in Astra, and in the DEO was misplaced. And clearly, it had worked.

Alex sat through the rest of the video, suppressing a wince at the sound of her moan, at Astra's gasp of "Alex!"

The video cut out with static, and Lucy closed the computer, her eyes boring into Alex.

"You can't deny that, can you?" said Harper. "Even if she wasn't an enemy, you're clearly far too fond of aliens to be a suitable agent. Did she tell you about her plans?"

 _Sort of._ "No. I had no idea."

His lips pressed together. "You've already shown you can beat the lie detector. You're a traitor, Agent Danvers. Enjoy your stay at Project Cadmus."

He stood, and Alex thought, for the first time, that she spotted a hint that Lucy might not be fully convinced of her guilt—a flash of something—defiance, maybe, or resentment.

_Interesting. Maybe I can use this. But how?_

Alex didn't have a chance to try, as Lucy and Colonel Harper called in their guards and had her dragged off to a DEO cell.

* * *

 

Just a few hours in, Alex was beginning to rethink how humane these containment cells were. She'd only been in jail once before—the drunk tank J'onn had bailed her out of three years ago, and that had been a bit better—at least there was a cushion on the bench. And she'd seen ordinary prison cells, which had an actual bed, sink, and toilet. Here she just had a hard bench and glass walls. She probably wouldn't be here long, just long enough for Harper and Lane to finish their investigation (she refused to think of her as Lucy after such a betrayal) but in the mean time, she had to ask just to go to the bathroom. The indignity rankled.

The door opened, and Alex jerked to her feet, only to relax when she saw that it was Kara.

"Hey," said Kara.

"Hey. Have they talked to you yet?"

"Yes."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief. If they'd interrogated Kara and she was still free to roam around the DEO, that meant she was off the hook. It also meant that Alex had underestimated Kara's ability to keep a secret. "What about Hank? And Vasquez, and the others?"

"They talked to Vasquez, and Hank's in there with them now." Kara pressed a hand to the glass. "Why's Lucy doing this?"

"She saw a video of me and Astra," said Alex, matching Kara's hand. "It hurts that it's her but if it wasn't it'd be someone else."

"A video of what, exactly?" Kara crossed her arms. "She didn't show me that."

"Just us kissing. But they got it from Maxwell Lord, which means he's working with them... probably with her father."

"From the camera he planted on your bag?"

"Yeah. I knew it was a mistake taunting him with that... it seemed like a good idea at the time, though."

"So she saw that and just... turned on us? No, I can't believe that. I'm going to talk to her. And you're going to get out of here," said Kara.

Alex watched her stalk out. _This is what I wanted to protect her from. Not just from danger, but from knowing about that kind of betrayal._

* * *

 

Something hit the top of the truck with a loud thump. Alex looked up automatically, flexing her good hand in her restraints. _Maybe I can use this as a distraction somehow..._

"What the hell?" said Harper, drawing his gun.

Then something—a person?—descended from the top of the truck. _Through_ the top of the truck. Harper fired, but the bullet passed through the figure. Through _J'onn_.

Alex pulled on her cuffs, but she was no closer to working her way out of them. When Harper stumbled back, though, she stuck out a leg to trip him. He went down, and J'onn knocked his gun away before breaking Alex's cuffs.

Alex scooped up the gun, but J'onn already had Harper pressed to the floor, putting zip ties around his wrists.

"What was that back there?" The voice crackled through Harper's comm, but before Harper could answer, J'onn covered his mouth, taking on Harper's form.

"The prisoner tried to escape, but I subdued her. Carry on."

Harper gaped. "What? You're... you're the Martian. The one that Hank tried to take down."

"Got it in one," said J'onn.

Alex fell to the side as the truck swerved.

"What the hell's going on?" asked Harper. "You're going to kill me, aren't you. You monster!"

J'onn didn't answer that, but turned to Alex instead. "I'll secure him, but grab onto something."

"I knew it! You're working with the aliens!" cried Harper. But J'onn put tape over his mouth, and those were the last words he got out.

Alex grabbed onto the bench with her good hand as the truck swerved. She could hear other vehicles—motorcycles? Then gunshots, and cursing, and after a moment the truck skidded to a halt. There were more sounds of fighting, and she debated throwing open the door and joining in, but J'onn shook his head.

After a few moments of silence, the doors flew open, and a woman in black motorcycle gear strode in and wrapped Alex in a tight hug before she could react. And she would have fought it, would have hit the woman with the gun or a knee, but that grip, that strength, that care not to hurt? There's only a few people it could be.

"Kara?" she whispered.

Kara nodded and lead the way outside, a bit of empty roadside somewhere in the California desert, nothing for miles except the truck and two bikes.

The other rider pulled off her helmet, revealing gray eyes and short dark brown hair.

"Lane, don't tell me this was your plan from the beginning," said Alex, closing the distance and jabbing one finger into Lucy's chest. "Or did Kara convince you?"

"Well, no and no. I was trying to divert suspicion from you entirely, but with that video for evidence and Harper on the case, there wasn't much I could do. I'm sorry I let it come to this, and that I let you think that I believed what he said about you."

Alex let her stew for a moment or two, looking her up and down. "Well, you came through in the end, and that's what I care about. Not that I'm looking forward to being on the run, or being away from Kara, but..." _But I can see Astra, at least._

"Take care of yourself," said Lucy. "I mean it. And Alex, is it... that is, I've been talking with James and—"

"Alex! I need to talk to you!" J'onn rushed over to her. "He's still alive. Jeremiah is still alive."

"What?" Alex's world had just been upended. She couldn't have heard that right.

"I erased Harper's memories and when I did, I saw Jeremiah. At Project Cadmus."

"Are you... are you sure?" Alex didn't know if she could allow herself to hope, to believe it, when it could easily be snatched away.

"I'm sure."

"We have to find him." Alex was almost numb, distant in her disbelief, but her mouth moved almost without her volition.

"We'll look," promised J'onn. "I'll put whatever resources I can into getting him back."

"I'll look," said Alex, coming back to herself, determination filling her. "I'll get Astra to help. Maybe she knows something."

"You can't!" said Kara. "I'll take you to the Fortress of Solitude, where you'll be safe!"

Alex shook her head. "I have to do this." One glance at J'onn and Lucy and she knew she didn't want to have her goodbyes with them listening, as much as she liked them. "Do you have gear for me? Was that the plan?"

Kara nodded, and pointed at her bike.

"Then let me get changed and we'll talk, okay?"

* * *

 

Alex was yanking the jacket over her head when Lucy's words finally processed. _Was she asking for my blessing?_

"Lucy?" she said as soon as her head was free.

"Over here," said Lucy. She was waiting next to her bike.

Alex joined her. "Listen, just so we're clear, I'm not the kind of old-fashioned person who thinks you need my permission to ask my baby sister out—"

"I didn't mean to imply that you were," said Lucy.

"But for what it's worth I think Kara could do a lot worse than you and James."

"Really?" said Lucy.

"Yes," confirmed Alex. She turned to look for J'onn, who was standing near the doors of the truck.

"Wait, how did you know that's what I was going to ask?" said Lucy.

Alex snorted. "Have you _seen_ how you look at her?"

She didn't stick around to find out what Lucy would say to that.

"J'onn, hey. Thanks for coming to get me."

"I would do anything to keep you safe," said J'onn seriously, and it was weird seeing him like this, in his true form. Maybe he sensed her unease, because he shifted back to Hank Henshaw's form at last.

"You were going to reveal yourself, weren't you? To stop Kara. If Astra hadn't come."

He nodded. "Yes."

"I wouldn't have wanted that. Kara wouldn't have wanted that."

"She wouldn't have wanted you to die, either."

Alex couldn't argue with that.

"I know I can't stop you from looking for Project Cadmus, but if you find it... don't go in alone."

Alex nodded. "You taught me better than that."

He hesitated a moment, then clapped her on the shoulder. "Be safe, Alex."

"I'll do my best."

It was hard enough saying goodbye to J'onn, but Kara? Kara was going to be the worst. And she was waiting for Alex, looking somewhere between Supergirl and just plain Kara, not that the costume had ever kept Alex from seeing her little sister.

"You really won't let me take you somewhere safe?" asked Kara.

"I have to do this. Besides, I'll have Astra." She'd memorized the location of the base Astra had given her. Failing that, she'd have to try to contact Astra again... but one way or another, they'd meet up eventually. And then she could start looking in earnest, hopefully with the help of whatever followers Astra had managed to convince.

"What am I going to do without you?" asked Kara.

"You'll be fine," said Alex. "You never needed me."

"Yeah, but that never stopped you," said Kara, her voice shaky.

Alex hugged Kara as hard as she could, ignoring the pain in her injured arm. "I love you."

"I love you too," said Kara.

Kara probably had more to say (Alex certainly did) but Alex knew if she didn't get going she never would. So, after confirming their current location with J'onn, Alex put on a helmet, climbed on one of the bikes and rode away.

* * *

 

Alex had been riding through the desert for hours. Her arm was killing her, and she could hardly keep her eyes open. Normally, she did pretty well with night shifts, but it seemed the events of the last couple days—her injury, the treatment, the interrogation, and all the emotional upheaval, were catching up with her.

She was tempted to try to find someplace to sleep for the night, but she'd already reached the 15, and if she could just make it to Vegas it'd be a good place to ditch the bike, find someplace to stay, and head out in the morning to look for Astra, who, with any luck, should still be in Nevada, at the coordinates she'd given Alex.

Alex wasn't sure she'd have that kind of luck.

She turned off the highway at the next exit, following signs for a gas station. She'd refuel, sure, but really she needed to stretch and rest, even for just a few minutes. With any luck she'd be able to get some snacks and some coffee or energy drinks to keep her going until she got to Vegas.

She pulled in, filled up, paid, and parked the bike, then headed into the convenience store. She automatically scoped out her surroundings, though not as thoroughly as she might have were she more awake—one balding, drowsy-looking white guy behind the counter, two dudes, one of them huge and burly, with black hoodies near the back, taking their time getting together what looked like a massive quantity of snacks.

Alex picked out an energy drink, chips, and some jerky. As she did so, she brushed shoulders with the smaller of the two customers. He turned to look at her. He looked vaguely east Asian, with pale skin and dark hair and eyes. He also looked vaguely familiar, and seeing as she was on the run, that probably wasn't a good thing.

So she pretended not to have noticed and headed for the registers, hoping nothing more would come of it.

At first, it seemed she'd gotten away clean—she was able to stow her snacks and take a few sips of one of the drinks before the two guys emerged from the store, and when they did, they headed for their vehicle and not for her.

She was wrong. Just as she was getting on her bike, the smaller of the two guys headed for her. She threw on her helmet and started the engine, but he was fast... faster than he should have been.

_Is he an alien? Where have I seen him before?_

"Alex Danvers? My boss wants to see you," he said, one hand on the handlebars.

She reached for her gun, and he didn't even bother to stop her, though he had to have seen the movement. "Who's your boss? The big guy?"

"Come quietly, human. You should know you have no chance against us."

Firing the gun would draw unwanted attention—at best, the station employee would probably call the police—so she delayed.

"Why's that?" she asked.

By then, the big guy had caught up with them, and even in the dim light she could see that under his hood, he wasn't human, not with that mottled skin and something, possibly horns, on his head.

"Because he's not the one you should be worried about," said the smaller man, gripping the handlebars so hard the metal groaned a protest.

_Kryptonian, maybe?_

And then it came back to her. "You were one of Non's followers. Who are you working for now?"

"General Astra."

Alex relaxed, holstering her gun. "Well then. Let me get my stuff and then... take me to your leader."

* * *

 

The trip was bumpy, and took longer than Alex had expected—instead of flying, they all piled into a jeep, the top down to accommodate the larger of the two aliens. The Kryptonian insisted on confiscating Alex's gun, but allowed her to eat her snacks in peace, alone in the back seat. She had to guess that Astra had told them to keep an eye out for her.

_If it really is Astra._

The thought sent a shock through her tired brain. She had no way of verifying that these two were telling the truth, and she'd been stupid to trust them. But then, she'd have been stupid to try to fight them too, all on her own in the middle of nowhere, with only an ordinary gun, no kryptonite. And she didn't even know the big guy's species or abilities.

Resolving to stay alert, she finished off her first energy drink.

After a while they turned off the road, parking behind a low rise that would hide the jeep from passersby, but only just. The Kryptonian pocketed the keys.

"Anything you want to keep, take it now. From here, we fly."

Alex stuck the jerky, still unopened, in her jacket, abandoning the half-eaten chips and remaining drink. "My gun?"

"Unload it," he said, holding it out.

She did so, handing him the clip and holstering the gun. It felt better to have it, even if it was basically useless.

He stuck the clip in his suit. "Now, I advise you not to change your mind while we are in the air. I will not hesitate to drop you, if I must."

Alex nodded, not doubting it for a second. "Understood."

"Good." With that, he picked her and his companion up easily and took to the skies, moving at a dizzying pace, far faster than the leisurely flight she'd once taken with Kara. She tried to watch where they were going, but in the darkness she couldn't make out much in the way of landmarks. If they left her out here she might die of thirst or exposure before she could find civilization.

That chilling thought rang in her mind as they landed at a camp, several tents and other makeshift shelters set up around the remains of a campfire.

A sentry, sitting on a crate, approached them. In the darkness she could tell that they were bipedal, probably even humanoid, but she couldn't see their face.

"Get the General," said the Kryptonian. "We have the human she wanted."

 _He may be one of Astra's people, but he doesn't seem to share her view of humans._ Alex was reminded, rather, of her early interactions with Astra, before Astra had made an effort to overcome her earlier prejudices. _Well, I'll know soon if they were lying._

The sentry disappeared into one of the larger tents, and Alex could hear them speaking in a low voice. There was a pause that seemed to stretch out for several minutes, then the sentry emerged.

"She is on her way," they said.

Alex shifted her weight from one foot to the other and rubbed at her injured arm, which was now more itchy than painful after a little rest. This drew a glare from the black-haired Kryptonian, so Alex stilled her movements.

That probably made the wait feel longer, but at last, the tent door opened with the incongruous, mundane sound of a zipper, and Astra emerged, dressed in the black bodysuit the Kryptonians seemed to use as a uniform.

Alex's heart caught in her throat, and all the tension flowed out of her at last, leaving her wired and exhausted. She wanted to run to Astra, but she knew Astra's goons wouldn't take kindly to that, so she waited as Astra pulled herself upright. Waited for Astra to see her.

And Astra did, cracking a smile that probably told her troops everything they needed to know. Then she turned to her followers. "You have done well, bringing her here. Dismissed."

"Astra," said Alex. She wanted to tell her everything, but she didn't know where to start.

"Join me in my tent," said Astra. "They have not hurt you, have they?"

"No. But that guy still has my ammo."

"Lor! Alex is to be treated with the same trust as any soldier," said Astra. "Return it to her."

As soon as Alex had her clip back, she followed Astra into the tent.

* * *

 

Alex set her gun and the clip aside as Astra zipped the door closed behind them.

"Somehow, this isn't what I pictured," said Alex. "The camp, I mean."

Astra sat on the sleeping bag that covered most of the floor, gesturing for Alex to join her. "It has been difficult. I have been able to convince less than half of those once faithful to Non, and few of those who remained neutral, or who left when I did. Some have decided to operate on their own, while others have united under a new leader, one who opposes me... and they control Fort Rozz. While I was in National City they discovered our last base, and when I returned I found my followers fleeing. A few were captured. We will find a more permanent base soon enough, but for the moment we are... I believe the term is 'roughing it.'"

Sitting, Alex leaned against Astra, once again taking comfort in her warmth and solid strength. "So, who's the new leader?"

"Indigo, a Coluan. She has a personal dislike for me, since she was once Non's lover. This is probably the worst possible outcome, both for my people and yours—she cannot be reasoned with, desiring only power. Even without the troops she now leads, her own powers render her a dangerous foe, even for Kryptonians, the more so since she controls Fort Rozz. I had hoped to retake it and erase every last trace of Myriad, but I failed. It may take her time, but it may be possible for her to get it working again."

Alex sat up. "Wait, Myriad? Really?"

"Yes. Unless she wishes to launch another attack on Lord Technologies, the range and power will be more limited than what I had at first envisioned, but it may well be enough for her purposes. I do not know why you left National City, but you should warn your people."

"Yeah that's... that's going to be difficult." Alex rubbed at her forehead, then gave Astra a quick rundown of the day's events, leaving out, for the moment, the bit about her father. Had it really been only one day?

Astra kissed her temple when she finished, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Then we will send a message to Kara or to J'onn in the morning. Indigo must not catch them unawares, but you need your rest."

"I'm fine," said Alex, though even with all that caffeine in her system she was exhausted down to her bones and sitting like this was making her sleepy.

Astra raised an eyebrow. "You are falling asleep as we speak, are you not? Come, I will show you where you can wash your face, if you wish, and the latrine... it is all rather primitive, but we have only been here a day or so. When you are done, come back here and we will get some sleep."

"Aren't your people going to talk?"

"About us? Some of them have doubtless already guessed about the nature of our relationship, and I already have the reputation of being overly soft on humans." Astra shrugged. "Let them say what they will. Unless... would you rather not continue this? I suppose I just assumed..."

"Astra..." Alex planted a kiss on her lips, hard and urgent enough to leave no doubts in Astra's mind. "I wasn't planning to wait forever, but it's only been a few days."

* * *

 

Alex would have wanted to stay up talking and kissing and maybe more, late into the night, but in the end she was so tired she fell asleep almost as soon as she crawled into Astra's sleeping bag.

When she woke up, it was light outside, and Astra was gone. She sat up, blinking, and noticed that her arm no longer hurt. Instead it was intensely itchy.

She'd borrowed some of Astra's clothes—human clothes, a t-shirt and loose pants, though not ones she recognized—and even now she could smell Astra on them when she raised the fabric to her nose. She debated the wisdom of leaving the tent. Outside, Astra's troops were chitchatting in a mix of English, Kryptonese, and other languages she didn't even recognize. She could hear the crackle of the fire and smell smoke and what might be food. But without Astra around to temper them, they might not treat her as well, and wearing Astra's clothes would just serve to confirm any suspicions they might have.

She pulled on her shoes anyway, and strapped on her holster, loading and checking her gun.

"We can hear you in there, human. You might as well come out," said Lor, the Kryptonian she'd met the night before.

"Alex, it's fine," said Astra. "Please, join us."

Alex unzipped the tent door and stepped out into the sunlight, zipping it up again before nervously accepting a roasted hot dog from a thin, scaly-looking alien, possibly the sentry from the night before.

Astra waved for Lor to move, freeing up the chair next to her, which he did with something of a grimace. "Pay no mind to Lor," she said. "He distrusts humans, but he will not harm you."

Alex sat down in the empty seat. For a moment, all eyes were on her, but a look from Astra put an end to that.

Astra was in a good mood, but Alex had the uneasy feeling that Astra's troops wouldn't accept her that easily.

 _It's going to be a long day,_ thought Alex, taking a bite of the hot dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice that the total chapter count has gone up to 25. This is also why I'm posting earlier than usual-I want to finish before season 2.
> 
> Lor is a sorta-kinda OC, vaguely based on a background character and named after Lor-Van (Superman's maternal grandfather). It's possible I also like the name because of Star Trek.
> 
> This story may be drawing to its close, but you can still find me here and [on tumblr at roryteller](http://roryteller.tumblr.com/). I have every intention of continuing to write Supergirl fic during the new season.


	24. Muster

Munching hotdogs for breakfast around a campfire in the middle of the southern California desert with a bunch of aliens was weird, Alex decided. She wasn't sure if following up the hotdogs with powdered sugar mini donuts made it more or less weird, but in the spirit of togetherness she added her beef jerky to the communal supplies.

"Human food is disgusting," muttered the lizardlike sentry.

"Human convenience store food is definitely disgusting," said Alex, "but not all of our food is this bad."

They eyed her. "You would think that, but you are not accustomed to eating your meat raw."

She noticed that they were eating their hot dogs cold, and not touching the donuts. "To each their own, then."

"You are an odd human."

"Am I?"

"You aren't scared of us."

 _I'm glad you think so._ "I know aliens, unlike most humans."

"Obviously," said the sentry.

It was hard to tell, but she thought they might be amused.

* * *

 

After breakfast, Alex gestured to Astra, who followed her into the tent. She knew it wasn't much privacy—it wouldn't keep sound from carrying, and some of the aliens could see through it, but psychologically, it felt better.

"How is your arm?" asked Astra.

"That's what I want to check. It's only been a few days, but it should be healing. Can you take a look?"

After a moment Astra said, "I am not an expert in human medicine, but it appears to be healed, which is impressive after so short a time."

"Good," said Alex. "Now, I have something to tell you."

She told Astra about Jeremiah, then asked. "Do you know anything about Project Cadmus?"

"I have heard rumors," said Astra, "but I do not know where it is located. I can ask my people, after this crisis is over... I suspect they will be willing to help, since many of them are afraid of that place, and some of their friends may be held there as well."

"Thank you," said Alex, planting a little kiss on Astra's lips.

Astra accepted it, then pulled away again. "Convincing them to help against Indigo may be more difficult, however."

* * *

 

Over the course of the morning, Alex met Astra's allies—all those who were present, at least. Three were being held captive at Fort Rozz, and two were away on missions, but those present numbered eight, not counting Astra herself.

Alex hadn't expected more, not after seeing the size of the camp the previous night, but she'd still hoped. Sure, besides Astra there were two Kryptonians, and the others all looked formidable, most being larger than most humans, but how many more did Indigo have? And were they all ready to fight?

"We do not know the exact number of Indigo's troops... they could be as many as fifty, but some of those will be noncombatants. All of those present here are fighters."

"That's... not as bad as I thought."

Astra gazed at her for a moment. "Many died when Fort Rozz crashed, including some Kryptonians... we did not possess powers yet, you see."

"Yeah. It took Kara a few days."

"And many wanted nothing to do with my mission. Then, after Non's death many declined to follow either of us. Besides which, your former organization has whittled down our numbers substantially over the years."

A murmur went up at that.

"You're DEO. I remember you now," said Lor, his eyes narrowing.

"I _was_ DEO. And the reason I'm not anymore is because they found out about my loyalty to your boss."

"Your loyalty to her? But wasn't she working with them?"

"I was," said Astra. "But they never completely trusted me... and what little trust they did accord me was based on Alex's judgment of me."

"And that all fell apart when they realized you were sleeping with her? Yes, we know. I've known you since Krypton, general, don't forget that."

"And? Does that change anything?"

"You've been avoiding this question since you came back to us: what is our mission now?"

"I still wish to save this planet from destruction, but Myriad is not the way. In the near future though... it is likely that Indigo will launch an attack on the humans. If so, and if you are willing, I would like to stop her."

"Stop her? We barely defended ourselves the last time we fought her! Unless you mean to join forces with the humans... and the last time you did that, they turned on you!"

"There was a time when I would have had your head for speaking to me in this manner, Lor." Astra's tone was flat, her eyes hard.

Alex suppressed a shiver, even in the dry desert heat, at this glimpse of who Astra had once been.

"That time is long past, General. You need all of us now... and besides, the humans have changed you." He shook his head. "We have all suffered at their hands, and we have all seen their foolishness, their unwillingness to change even when their own destruction stares them in the face."

"They are not so different from us in that respect," said Astra.

"Why should we join what will likely be a losing battle for their sakes when they will only reward us with distrust and betrayal? Excepting yourself, perhaps." This last he addressed to Alex.

_I hate having to stand in for my species. I wonder if this is how Kara feels, sometimes._

"Once, I saw myself as a hero," said Astra. "And yet, in my quest to save my planet, I would have inflicted slavery on my own people. Was I wrong?" She shrugged. "Perhaps, perhaps not. But today I would ask you to do the right thing—to fight to save lives, to protect others from servitude, perhaps—but my reasons are selfish. To put it simply, I do not wish for my niece to die, nor those among her associates who I call friends. And if she fights alone, she will."

Alex sucked in a breath. "She won't be alone. I'll go, even if no one else will." _Hopefully she'll have the DEO, too, but..._

"So will I." Astra didn't move to touch Alex, not even with their relationship out in the open now, but Alex's heart swelled.

_Even if it's just the two of us, and Kara, and the DEO, and maybe Clark... we'll come up with something. Somehow._

"This is not the mission you once agreed to, and I am aware that it goes against the grain to help those who have treated us as the enemy for so long. I will not require that you join me in this, merely that you do not oppose me. If I survive this, I fully intend to return to our former mission, though with new methods. But until then, I ask you: will you join me?"

Lor looked Alex up and down, his eyes narrowed, and she realized that much of his decision, and perhaps that of the others, hinged on trusting her, and humans by extension.

It took Astra weeks to really trust me, how am I supposed to convince them?

"We will discuss it, I believe."

"Very well," said Astra. "Alex and I will go warn my niece. I expect your answer on our return."

* * *

 

"So," said Astra, "where to? Visiting Kara directly is probably too risky. If you have a phone—"

"I don't. I was planning to buy a burner in Vegas. Pay phone? No, Kara might let it go to voicemail, and then it could be hours before she sees it. I don't know how time-critical this is, but—"

"I should have informed you as soon as I realized we would be unable to retake Fort Rozz. I am sorry."

Alex shook her head. "Let's just tell her as soon as we can. Maybe if we call from Mom's house, in Midvale? The Feds might be watching it, but..."

"But if they are, I will be able to spot them," said Astra. "Midvale it is."

* * *

 

Astra landed them on the seaward side of the house, where the neighbors wouldn't see them. "Eliza is out, and no one else is nearby. I will tell you if that changes."

"Good," said Alex. "The second floor window, there, should be unlocked, if you can just fly me up—"

Astra picked her up and flew her up to the roof.

"—there." It took a moment, but Alex was able to push the window open.

Astra held it up while Alex slipped inside, then followed her, looking around.

"That's right, you didn't get the full tour when you visited before. This was my room until I moved out, now it's just a guest room, but Mom kept some of my stuff."

The room was cleaner than it had been when Alex lived there, but some of the decorations were the same, aside from a few posters having been replaced. But the periodic table on the closet door was still there, as were the childhood photos and various odds and ends—part of a fossilized seashell, very common in California but Alex's prize possession from back when she'd wanted nothing more than to be a paleontologist, a miniature VW Bus and matching tiny surfboard, a bookcase, in which about half of the books were Alex's from when she was a kid and the other half were Eliza's.

Alex nudged Astra, who had picked up the fossil. "The phone's downstairs."

"Yes, of course." Astra set it down and followed Alex's lead, down the stairs and into the living room.

Alex was about to pick up the phone and dial Kara when Astra tensed beside her.

"Someone's driving up." Her eyes narrowed. "It's your mother."

"Shit. Should we hide? I don't want to implicate her—I am a fugitive, after all."

"Will that matter, if the DEO falls to Indigo?" asked Astra.

"Good point," said Alex.

Eliza didn't notice them immediately. She was carrying groceries, and kicked the door shut behind her, then looked up and froze. "Who? Wait, Alex? Astra? What're you doing here?"

She dropped the groceries and rushed over. "Are you okay? I thought you were in National City?"

"It's a long story, and—"

Eliza hugged her tightly. Alex didn't always like hugs from her, not with their relationship being what it was, but right now?

"I needed that," said Alex. "But what's going on?"

"You don't know? National City is being attacked by robots. Well, drones. Kara can't keep up, and the police are having a hard time even hitting them. They're trying to evacuate the city, but... it's a warzone."

"Drones?"

"It could be Indigo," said Astra. "She has the power to control computers... drones would be simple for her."

"They're saying on the news that the drones are from Lord Tech, but the CEO is denying all responsibility..." said Eliza, glancing from one to the other.

"Of course he is. He's a slime. Either way though, we can't let her fight alone."

"But if it's not Indigo... I can't ask my people to join us."

"Well, let's call Kara," said Alex. "But I think it might be time for a certain superhero to make another appearance."

"Wait," said Eliza. "You're Superwoman?"

"Is that what they call me? I'll accept it, I suppose," said Astra with a shrug.

Alex picked up the phone and dialed. _Please, please pick up._

"Eliza, what's going on?" said Kara. She sounded out of breath.

"Kara, it's me. Listen, I have to tell you something—"

"Alex? This is a really bad time. Unless it's urgent—" Kara was out of breath, and there was a crash in the background.

"It is. An alien called Indigo controls Fort Rozz, and Astra believes she may be behind the drone attacks. And she might have Myriad. Is there any sign of it... Astra, what would that look like? Would they act like zombies?"

"More like the Borg," said Astra.

"Anyone acting like an automaton?" asked Alex. Kara hadn't seen much of Star Trek.

After a pause, during which Alex could just make out a screeching sound, Kara replied. "No, everyone's fine. Unless... I haven't been able to get in contact with the DEO since this started. Do you think...?"

 _Shit._ "It's possible. Hang in there, we're on our way." Alex hung up. "Star Trek? Let me guess, Winn."

Astra ignored that. "I can travel faster on my own. Let me go, tell the others. I'll be back for you."

Before Alex could agree, Astra was gone.

* * *

 

Alex sat down on the couch and drew her gun, checking and loading it. She'd rather be better armed, but it'd have to do for the moment.

Eliza sat next to her, watching her routine with wide eyes.

_Maybe it's sinking in for her now, what it means that I'm a DEO agent. Well, former agent._

Eliza took a deep breath. "I have to ask you something. The Supergirl that terrorized National City, that wasn't really Kara, was it?"

"It was. But it wasn't her fault. Kara was..." _How much can I tell her? I mean, technically I don't work for the DEO anymore, and she has a right to know..._ "she was exposed to a mind-altering substance, one that only affects Kryptonians. She's better now, but it was a rough couple of days. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it was classified."

"Oh, no. She must be _devastated_."

Alex nodded. "She was, the last time I saw her."

"There's something else... there was a video, where an agent gets knocked over and falls against a car..."

"A video?" _Pretty hard for even the DEO to cover things up in this day and age._

Eliza had already pulled out her phone and was looking for the clip. She showed it to Alex, and Alex felt her arm throb in memory as she watched herself bounce off of the car.

"Yeah, that's me. But I'm fine now, as you can see."

"Are you? Fighting with Kara, that can't have been easy..."

"It wasn't, but we survived."

Eliza nodded. "And I'm glad for that."

Alex could hear the unspoken _but_ , probably some words of disapproval about her line of work, or about the danger she put herself in, and in a more confrontational mood she'd have teased it out, but she didn't have time or energy for that.

"Mom, there's something else you should know. Dad is... he's still alive, somewhere."

"What? After all this time?" Eliza's disbelief mirrored the way Alex had felt.

 _God, I don't know if I can even tell her about J'onn._ "We discovered that when he disappeared, he wasn't dead, he was captured. We're going to find him, I promise."

"Captured? By whom?"

"The government. He defended an alien refugee the DEO was trying to capture, and for that, they declared him a traitor, sent him to a place called Project Cadmus. That's sort of why I'm here, actually. They were going to send me there too, before I escaped."

"But Alex, why would they? Was it something to do with Jeremiah?"

"Not... not directly. My... relationship with Astra came under scrutiny. Combine that with some photos that made it look like she was consorting with alien criminals, and..." Alex shrugged.

"Your relationship?"

 _I shouldn't tell her, I don't need her disapproval right before I go risk my life._ So Alex hedged. "We're close, she's Kara's aunt... they believed it would cloud my judgment of her." She didn't think Eliza was convinced, but that became a moot point when Astra joined them, now dressed in her Superwoman costume.

Alex stood.

"Be careful, you two," said Eliza.

"I'll keep your daughter safe, Doctor Danvers," said Astra. "And my niece."

Then she wrapped her arms around Alex and shot off through the front door and into the sky.

* * *

 

Alex was surprised when they landed at her apartment.

"I thought you might want to fetch a few things. Your Myriad blocker, for one," explained Astra.

Alex nodded. She didn't think it worth the trouble to change... besides, there was something comforting about wearing Astra's clothes, which smelled of her and weren't too far off from what Alex might have picked for herself. She did put on the blocker and grab additional weapons and ammo, notably another handgun and a combat knife, and put on her leather jacket. Then she approached Astra, and before she knew it they were in the skies again.

"I'll find Kara," said Astra, her eyes narrow as she looked over the city. "Of course. She's at her place."

The flight was a bit too quick to be strictly comfortable, and Alex stumbled as Astra set her down, disoriented and windswept.

Kara stood as they landed, her whole body tense, ready to strike. But when she saw who it was, she relaxed, slumping back down onto the couch. "Hey."

The other couch held Lucy and James, while the coffee table was mostly covered with the remains of a fast food meal. Winn sat in front of a makeshift computer desk. He looked up for a moment, then turned back towards frowning at the screen.

"Superwoman," said Lucy, frowning, "and Agent Danvers. What's the plan?"

"Any word from the DEO?" asked Alex.

"No," said Kara tiredly. "And I've hardly had a moment to breathe. No time to check what's going on there. Winn's trying to stop the signal that's controlling the drones, but it's all in Kryptonese."

"Perhaps I can help," said Astra, lowering her hood.

"General Astra, of course," said Lucy. "When Kara said you were coming I didn't realize you were Superwoman, but in retrospect I suppose that was obvious."

"Be my guest," said Winn, moving aside to allow her access to the computer.

Astra stared at the screen for a moment, then started madly tapping away. As she did, she spoke. "Most of my subordinates have agreed to join us in National City, to fight off the drones and whatever else Indigo may send against us. But they will take some time mobilizing, and we need to secure the DEO as soon as possible, assuming Myriad is indeed in effect there, which I believe it is."

"I'll go," said Kara, standing. "Assuming you can defend National City in my absence."

"You're exhausted," said Alex. "You should rest."

"I'm fine, I just rested. And ate."

"Three hamburgers in thirty seconds," said James, smiling. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Is there anything I can do?" asked Lucy. "Give me a weapon and I'll help fight."

Alex looked her up and down. "I know you're a veteran, but you're JAG, right? JAGs don't usually see that much combat, last I heard."

"We get the same training as any other officer," said Lucy. "And yeah, you heard right, but let's just say that I'm one of the exceptions and leave it at that, all right?"

"Fair enough," said Alex. She drew one of her guns and handed it, grip first, to Lucy. "If you go to the DEO you might find yourself under mind control, so stay in the city. And James?"

He instantly sat up from where he'd been slumping on the couch. "Anything I can do to help. I mean it."

 _He's good people._ "Don't take any unnecessary risks, but we're going to need good coverage of this. Astra and her people, they're fugitives, and some of them don't look at all human, but I want people to know that they helped."

"You've got it," said James, coming to life now that he had a concrete way to help. He retrieved his camera from where it'd been sitting near Kara's art supplies.

"Is Superman coming, by the way?"

"We've contacted him," said James. "He's busy but he'll come when he can."

_I hope he isn't too late._

"All right, let's go," said Kara.

"Shouldn't Astra do it? She's in better shape," said Alex.

"They don't trust her," argued Kara. "If you're wrong, and they're not under Myriad, taking her to the DEO is a bad idea."

"Kara is right. Besides, I can do more here," said Astra, gesturing to the computers.

Alex couldn't argue with that. She just worried about putting Kara at risk. "Okay, let's go, Supergirl."

* * *

 

They landed in the desert outside the DEO, Alex directing Kara to a blind spot in the surveillance system.

"Can you tell what's going on in there?" she asked.

Kara narrowed her eyes. "It's hard seeing through this much rock, but if I listen..." After a moment, her eyes widened. "Alex, they're releasing the prisoners! We have to do something!"

Alex took a deep breath. "Okay. Get us into the control room and hold them off for long enough for me to deactivate the prisoner release. Then we'll try to find the Myriad blockers and put them on as many agents as possible. If they haven't moved or destroyed them, J'onn was keeping them in his office."

"Wait, where's J'onn? Myriad won't affect him, right?"

"We'll find him, but if he isn't fighting them... he's probably captured or hurt."

"If so, we'll save him," said Kara, wrapping her arms around Alex again. "Ready?"

"Ready," said Alex.

"Then hang on, this is going to suck." And Kara took to the sky, hurtling towards the doors to the DEO.


	25. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to once again thank my beta readers, [Rae](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kryptobytes/profile) and [Reese](http://yokothetypo.tumblr.com/) as well as all of you readers and commenters.
> 
> This has been something of a long journey-longer than I initially expected-resulting in, by about 50,000 words, the longest story I've ever written, and the longest fanfic I've posted by an even larger margin. I have learned a lot.
> 
> This story may be over, and I may be taking a break from writing longfic until November (NaNoWriMo), but it's just possible there may be a short spinoff in the future, revolving around Kara, James, and Lucy and how they all get together.
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy this chapter!

Kara landed in the center of the control room with a bang that sent a painful jolt through Alex's bones, even though no part of her touched the floor, then set Alex down ever so carefully. As she did, the agents present turned to face her.

Alex leapt towards the computers and decked Vasquez with a punch. "Sorry, Suze," she muttered, removing Susan's gun from its holster and unloading it before setting it aside to stop the automated prisoner release, trusting Kara to defend her from any stray bullets.

In her hurry, though, she didn't secure Vasquez, which proved a mistake moments later when Vasquez lurched to her feet, zombielike, and grabbed for Alex's gun.

Alex grabbed the gun too, trying to pull it from Vasquez' grasp or, at the very least to point it at the ceiling. She wrenched it upwards and it went off, raining tiny bits of rock on them as the bullet lodged itself in the cavern's ceiling.

Kara wouldn't be much help, not when she was busy dodging kryptonite bullets from agents Donovan and Yung. Alex kneed Vasquez in the groin.

Vasquez grunted, but kept her grip on the gun.

"You'll have to do better than that, Agent Danvers," said Vasquez... or someone else, Indigo or one of her cronies, through Vasquez' mouth. It was unnerving. "What's wrong, afraid to hurt your friend?"

 _Vasquez isn't going to fall for a simple trick,_ thought Alex, wincing as Vasquez stomped on her foot. _Even without an alien controlling her._

And then the gun was gone, and J'onn, J'onn was floating above them, holding it, and Alex threw Vasquez to the floor in her moment of surprise, pinned her there until J'onn offered up a pair of cuffs.

As she cuffed Vasquez to a pole, relief washed through Alex and she realized just how worried she had been. Then J'onn handed her the gun, and she remembered she had something more urgent to do. Standing, she input the last part of the command.

"Prisoner release canceled," said the computer.

Alex let herself slump against the console for the moment.

When she turned to look, Kara and J'onn had neutralized the last of the agents in the command center, and Kara was grimacing as she dug a kryptonite bullet from her side.

"I'll get the blockers," said Kara.

Kara returned with them moments later, and they all worked together, putting them on every human agent in the room.

"The others will soon realize what happened," said J'onn. "We won't have enough blockers for everyone."

_I knew this was too easy._

As if to drive that thought home, Superman flew in before they could get Vasquez and the others somewhere safe.

"Looks like you have this—" he began, and then, as he landed, his face went slack. Then he looked at Kara and smirked.

Alex knew him just well enough to find that expression totally unnatural on his handsome face.

"Oh, this is rich," said Indigo in Superman's voice. "It seems your dear baby cousin is just human enough to be vulnerable to my control. Let's find out who's stronger, the Man or the Girl of Steel."

Alex fumbled with Vasquez' cuffs. The last thing she wanted was for her friend to wake up in the middle of a battle, unable to move.

Then she stood and sprinted towards the armory.

A blast of heat vision stopped her in her tracks.

"Oh no you don't," said Clark. "I could just roast you—" His words were cut off as J'onn slammed into him, distracting him for long enough for Alex to get away.

Alex ran full bore down the corridor. _Just a bit farther. As long as I don't meet any agents I should be... shit._

Alex pressed herself to the wall, hoping the two agents heading for the command center would simply overlook her.

They didn't, of course, the young black woman giving a shout that alerted her comrade. Alex managed to get a blocker on the woman, more by luck than skill, but that luck ran out when she hear a loud bang and a sharp pain ripped through her arm. She reflexively let go of the woman, a trainee named Robinson... but fortunately Robinson had already come to her senses and helped her subdue the other agent, another new recruit.

"Come with me," she ordered, starting off down the hall again, this time gripping her bleeding arm.

"I'm so sorry," muttered the recruit, a pale blond kid who looked barely out of high school, though he'd probably actually completed college. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

"Pull it together," she grunted at the kid, _what was his name again, right, Applebaum._ "I might need your help."

"Yes, ma'am," he muttered.

Fortunately, the armory, at least, was undefended. She leaned against the wall for a moment, and shucked off her ruined jacket. _I loved that jacket,_ _dammit._

Then, drawing her knife, she cut enough fabric from the hem of her shirt to make a temporary bandage before grabbing a tranq gun. She looked from Robinson to Applebaum as she slung it over her shoulder. Robinson looked like she had it together more, of the two, her dark brown eyes steady, and if Alex recalled correctly, had a couple months more of training.

"Robinson, you're in charge here. If anyone still under alien control tries to get in, you stop them using whatever means necessary."

"Yes, ma'am," said Robinson.

"But... ma'am, they're our friends," protested Applebaum.

"I know. What I'm asking of you won't be easy, but if they get their hands on these weapons, they can kill Supergirl. Or Superman. Not to mention the rest of us. And I don't have any of those blockers left... we didn't think we'd need them, so we didn't make enough for everyone. So keep them out. Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Applebaum, a bit grumpily.

* * *

 

Alex looked around the corner into the command center. It was a shambles, bits of debris, broken or melted, strewn across the floor, smoke rising from the smoldering remains of one of the computers, scorch marks on some of the walls.

"Kal, please, you're stronger than this!" said Kara.

"Kal-El isn't here," said Indigo in Clark's voice. "But if he really thought of himself as Kryptonian—as your cousin—maybe I wouldn't be able to control him."

Alex grimaced. _That has to hurt._ Creeping into the room, she saw that Kara and Clark floated near the middle of the room. Clark's back was to her, and, worryingly, Kara's suit was stained with blood.

J'onn, meanwhile, was resting against a wall, but he winked at Alex when he saw her.

_I've got to do this now, before he notices me. If I miss... I might not get another chance._

She hefted the tranquillizer gun, gritting her teeth through the pain in her injured arm, and aimed. But just as she squeezed the trigger, her arm gave a twinge and the shot went wide, hitting the wall.

Alex had the impression of Superman rushing towards her and then—

BOOM!

He hit the ground in front of her, propelled by Kara's punch. Then, in a blur, J'onn joined the fight again, hurling Superman against the far wall.

"Alex!" cried a voice, a woman's voice.

_That's not Kara, that's... Susan?_

Vasquez emerged from the lab at a run. "Alex, I'm so sorry! Wait, you're hurt!"

"One of the recruits shot me. I'll be fine." Alex was far from sure of that, feeling woozier as time passed, but she couldn't afford to collapse, not until Superman was out of the DEO.

Vasquez raised an eyebrow. "You're not fine. Let me help." Before Alex could say anything, Vasquez put her arm around Alex's waist, supporting her weight.

"I can stand," said Alex, but she didn't push Vasquez away.

"But can you stand _and_ shoot?"

 _I guess not._ "Fine."

"Alex, now!" shouted Kara.

Kara and J'onn were holding Clark more or less immobile, though he struggled against them.

With Vasquez supporting her, Alex carefully lined up her shot.

This time, it hit, and Superman crumpled into Kara's arms.

Alex lowered her gun, wincing as the movement sent stabbing pains through her injury, and walked towards Kara as she slowly floated down to the ground, cradling her cousins' unconscious form, like some role-reversal of the classic image of the brave hero and fainting damsel.

Kara blinked, and her eyes seemed to focus on Alex. "You're... you're hurt. Can I..."

Alex shook her head. "Superman won't stay under long. Get him back to National City; he'll be more help there. I'll be fine. Really." _I don't think the city's under Indigo's control, but if we hadn't stopped Non in time..._

Kara nodded, looking pale, drawn, and flew away.

"So," said Vasquez, sidling up to Alex again. "We need to find you a doctor, and the last time I saw Hampton she was just as much of a zombie as the rest of us. You got more of these things?" She fingered the little black device on her collar.

"I'm out, gave my last two to the recruits that attacked me." said Alex. "J'onn?"

"I had another one, but, well..." he showed them a mangled bit of black plastic and wiring.

"So it's just the three of us, plus Donovan and Yung, and the two recruits in the armory, against the rest of the DEO," summarized Alex. "And no idea where Doctor Hampton is."

"Well," said Vasquez, striding over what was left of the computers. "if I can get the cameras working, we can locate her. If these things still even work."

"And I can retrieve her, and put the others in cells until this is over."

Without turning from the computers, Vasquez asked, "And who or what are you, anyway?"

"I'm a Martian. My name is J'onn Jonzz. I'm on your side."

"I guessed that much. Ah! There we go."

Most of the screens were broken, and she had to borrow a keyboard from another machine, but Vasquez was cycling through the different cameras.

"There!" said Vasquez, pausing on a screen that showed Hampton near the locker room, and J'onn flew away.

"You're, uh, taking that... I mean, J'onn, remarkably well," said Alex.

"Well, he did save me, and you seem to know him. I didn't buy all that stuff Harper said about you, you know."

"Why not?"

Vasquez turned to look at her. "I may not know Astra all that well but I know you. You're not stupid, and you're not a traitor. If you think someone is on the up and up, you're probably right."

* * *

 

J'onn flew back into the room, carrying Doctor Hampton. As soon as he landed, though, he slumped forward.

"I'm shielding her mind," he said, "but it's taking a lot out of me."

"She can have my blocker," said Alex, reaching for it. "I'm injured anyway."

"How's she supposed to treat you if you're fighting her?" said Vasquez. "She can... she can have mine."

"Susan, are you sure? You'd... you'd do this for me?" _She knows what it's like, being under Myriad. It can't be easy, and yet..._

Vasquez nodded. "It's not just for you. Right now, I think the DEO needs a doctor more than it needs me."

"We'll have to lock you up, you know that, right? Until this is over, that is," said J'onn.

"Do you know how... oh." Vasquez' eyes widened. "Sir."

"I'll make sure you stay in control until you're safely inside," said J'onn.

Doctor Hampton was watching the proceedings with wide eyes, but she wasn't fighting J'onn.

Vasquez gulped. "Well, whenever you're ready, Doctor."

Alex squeezed Vasquez' arm with her good hand. "Thank you."

Vasquez unclipped the blocker from her collar and held it out to Hampton, who accepted it, attaching it to her lab coat.

"I don't quite understand, but thank you, Agent Vasquez. Now! Agent Danvers, let's take a look at that injury."

* * *

 

By the time Kara returned, the mind-controlled agents were in the cells, and Alex was sitting at the one working computer, keeping an eye on them via the surveillance camera. They just stood there, as if frozen. _Creepy._

And Kara wasn't alone.

"Superwoman!" said Alex.

"Supergirl, Superwoman, good to see you," said J'onn, still in his Martian form. "How's the city?"

"We've destroyed most of the enemy's drones," said Astra, "and Superman is handling the rest. More importantly, though, if you have a camera in the desert to the northeast of here, I believe you will see something worrisome."

Alex switched to the correct camera, and her heart clenched. Astra's people stood in the foreground, their backs to the DEO. But in the distance, another force approached.

"Indigo's people are coming," said Astra. "But she is not with them, the coward."

"Coward?" said a female voice, and a monitor flickered to life, revealing a blue-skinned alien with a sort of triangle on her forehead. "You wound me! But no, my powers will better serve elsewhere."

"Face me, if you are so brave," said Astra.

"Tempting," said Indigo. "Even now, I doubt you could best me. But I'd rather kill your little accomplices, like that human who's been interfering with my drones."

 _Winn?_ Alex pulled out her phone to warn him, dialing quickly.

"Alex, no, she will use that—"

Just as the called connected, a stream of something blue emerged from the monitor and followed into her phone.

"Alex?" asked Winn, and there was a clattering noise and a muffled scream.

"Winn? WINN? What happened?"

"Indigo traveled through the cell network to get to him," said Astra. "She would likely have found him eventually, but—"

"Oh my god. Kara, I'm so sorry—"

"Alex?" Winn's voice was choked, rough, but he was there.

"I'm okay." He cleared his throat. "Superman... Superman saved me. W-was that Indigo?"

"Yes. Winn, I'm sorry..."

He coughed. "I'll... be fine." There was a crash. "I don't think Superman can beat her, but Astra said she was basically a computer... what if I send her a pretty nasty virus?"

"Can you do that?" asked Alex. _It just might work..._

On the monitor, Astra and Indigo's forces had met and were fighting, fights and claws flying and flashes of heat vision illuminating the desert. It was hard to tell who had the advantage, but Indigo's forces were definitely more numerous.

_Will they surrender if we beat their leader? Or flee?_

"I can and I—" there was the sound of breaking glass. "I did!"

"Did it work?" asked Alex.

Winn was silent for a moment.

"I said, did it work?"

"Um, sorry, I was just going to check and um, yeah, yeah she looks like she's... disintegrating. That is _weird_."

"Thanks, Winn. Call if anything happens," said Alex. Then she turned to the others. "Apparently Winn gave Indigo a virus and she started disintegrating. Do you think you can convince her people to stand down? And what about Myriad?"

"Myriad will continue," said Astra, "but with no new orders, those it controls will be fairly harmless... unless she has it set up so that others can use it... but Indigo was never one to share power for long. If I get to Fort Rozz, I can dismantle it. As to her forces... Rao, I hope so. But to be safe, we should all go."

Her gesture indicated Kara and J'onn, but left out Alex and the other human agents.

"I wish I could go with you," said Alex.

<Rest, dear one,> said Astra.

* * *

 

Alex watched the negotiations on the monitor. However she'd managed it, Astra had at least gotten the two groups talking, but they seemed to be arguing amongst themselves. Then one of the enemies turned and ran, but before they could get away Lor was on them, knocking them into the dust.

With a flash of light, an enemy Kryptonian attacked, his heat vision matching Lor's. Most of the others joined the fight, save for a few that took off running into the desert.

But this time, Lor was too busy to stop them.

Alex was doing her best to follow the action, especially Kara, Astra, and J'onn, but it was a tall order. Donovan stood behind her, looking over her shoulder.

"Should we help them?" he asked.

"We're stretched pretty thin as it is, and almost all of us are injured, except the ones in the cells. I wish we could do something, but I'm fresh out of ideas."

As she spoke, Astra flew up in the air and slammed one of the Kryptonians into the ground. Alex could see yet another alien run off into the desert, but no one seemed to have time to catch them. Kara was locked in a heat vision battle with the other enemy Kryptonian and seemed to be losing.

"Oh, Kara..." said Alex, her heart in her throat. _You have to survive this._

In that moment, Alex would have given anything to switch places with Kara. It had always seemed unfair that even though she was the one protecting Kara, she had only her ordinary human abilities to do so.

"Supergirl's your sister, right?" said Donovan. "I remember hearing Director Henshaw call her that when she first started working here."

"Yeah," said Alex. "Not by blood, unfortunately, but you knew that." _'Director Henshaw'? When this is all over they'll all find out who and what J'onn is. I can't see that ending well._

"Here I thought you were holding out on me, hiding your superpowers."

Alex snorted. "I wish." She stayed focused on the screen, but part of her was grateful to Donovan for lightening the mood.

On the screen, J'onn knocked the Kryptonian Kara was fighting down, and Kara fell to her knees.

 _She must be exhausted from fighting robots all day,_ realized Alex. _But her enemy is fresh._

An incoming call shook her out of her thoughts.

"It's the army," she said, looking at the number. "You should take it—I'm still a fugitive as far as they're concerned."

"You're going to have to deal with that eventually," said Donovan. "But yeah, not now. Go ahead."

She routed it to his earpiece.

He cleared his throat, then tapped it. "Department of Extranormal Operations, Agent Donovan speaking." He listened for a moment, then mouthed, 'General Lane,' to Alex.

_Oh boy._

"Yes, sir. Supergirl, Superman and Superwoman handled the drones attacking the city, and the alien controlling them has been defeated. Sir—" He listened a bit longer. "Sir, I apologize for the DEO's unresponsiveness in this matter but most of our agents were affected by an alien device that... well, took control of our minds. Only Director Henshaw and the Kryptonians were unaffected."

Donovan drummed his fingers against the desk as he listened.

Alex turned back to the screen in time to see another alien disappear into the distance, and Kara throw a big, muscular creature. Alex was proud of her, seeing her rely more on technique than power... but it was also a sign that she was tiring, that she didn't have the power to spare.

"No, sir, Director Henshaw isn't here right now. He disappeared during the mind-control incident and we have been unable to locate him. Yes, sir, I am aware of the aliens in the desert but some of them appear to be friendly—" Donovan's lips pressed together. "With all due respect, sir, they're protecting us, alongside Supergirl. No, I absolutely would not advise sending reinforcements; the mind-control device is still in effect. Sir—"

Donovan sighed, and rubbed a hand down his face. "I'm not sure I convinced him not to send anyone."

"Well, then, we'll have to get Myriad deactivated ASAP. Fortunately, it looks like things are wrapping up out there." Alex gestured to the screen, where most of the enemies had fled but several had been captured and were kneeling in the sand.

"J'onn? How's it going out there?"

"We've won. Can you prepare five new cells?"

She turned to Donovan. "Are there five empty cells we can use?"

"We'll have to double up on some of the agents," he said, "but we can manage it."

Alex relayed this to J'onn.

"Good. We're bringing them in now. I believe Superwoman is off to stop Myriad... ah, there she goes."

Alex saw Astra fly away on the monitors.

"I was about to tell her to hurry. General Lane might be on his way. Maybe you should—"

"No. I'm staying, whatever the consequences."

 _Of course,_ thought Alex. _Just my luck._

* * *

 

Alex didn't bother to struggle, letting Lane's men cuff her. J'onn did the same. The only mercy was that Astra hadn't returned to the DEO, even after deactivating Myriad, and that Astra's followers had escaped into the desert.

"What I fail to understand," said Lane, looking rather red in the face, "is how you expect me to believe that not only did all of you, except apparently this traitor, fail to realize, for ten years, that Hank Henshaw had been replaced by an alien, you also allowed these two to continue to run this organization in the midst of a crisis!"

Alex was finding it difficult not to fidget, with her arm throbbing and her feet falling asleep.

_If they're going to move me to a cell, I wish they'd get on with it already. We have to have a few free by now._

"General," said Kara, her tone uncharacteristically icy, all sublimated anger, "J'onn Jonzz and Agent Danvers, along with Superwoman, saved the DEO. Without their efforts, you'd have a lot of dead agents on your hands today. And probably a lot of dead civilians, too. Just watch the security footage. Or ask any agent here!"

"That doesn't negate their past deeds—"

"What past deeds? I haven't heard anything concrete all evening!"

"Sir, ma'am," Vasquez, back at her desk and looking only moderately the worse for wear after her stint in a cell, was trying to get their attention.

"What is it, Agent..."

"Vasquez, sir. It's the White House for you."

"The White House? Patch it through."

Vasquez handed him an earpiece, and he slipped it on, getting redder and redder in the face as he listened.

"But—" he paused. "Understood." He ripped off the earpiece and made as if to throw it, then seemed to think the better of it and merely handed it back to Vasquez. "Apparently, the President has seen fit to issue pardons, not only for the both of you, but for that... Astra, as well. Release the prisoners.."

"Yes, sir," said one of the soldiers guarding Alex and J'onn, and soon they were free.

Alex watched as General Lane and his people left. As soon as they were gone, she hugged J'onn and Kara in turn, wincing at the pressure on her arm.

"Can we go home?" she asked as she separated from Kara. "I kind of need a ride."

Kara laughed. "One trip on Air Supergirl, coming up. I'm dead on my feet though, so I hope you don't mind if I head right back to my place."

* * *

 

One of the windows at Kara's apartment had been boarded up, and Winn was waiting at the other. He let them in.

"So, um, Superman had to go home to Metropolis, apparently, but he said to say hi, and sorry about earlier, whatever that means, and that if you need anything you should definitely call whenever. He's um, he's really cool, even cooler than I thought he would be."

Kara rolled her eyes. "Winn..."

Looking past him, Alex saw Lucy relaxing on the couch.

_Where's Astra?_

"Hey, so I thought we might celebrate. We just beat the bad guys, and Alex is back in town, _and_ Maxwell Lord is being investigated for manufacturing illegal weapons."

"He is?" asked Alex, intrigued.

"Yeah, something about those drones."

"Huh." _He'll probably weasel his way out of it somehow, but it'll be satisfying to see him sweat, after everything he's done._

"While that's great, and normally I'd be excited, I'm really not up for a party right now. Rain check?" said Kara. "Tomorrow, maybe?"

Winn visibly deflated. "Yeah, sure. Let me just get my stuff and I'll be out of your hair."

"Hey," said Kara as he turned away. "Winn?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything."

"Um, no problem." He collected his things, and left the apartment in a hurry.

"Okay, where's Astra?" asked Alex.

"And James," added Kara.

"James is at CatCo, trying to get some of today's photos into tomorrow's paper," said Lucy, standing and stretching. "Astra said something about a patrol, she should be back any minute. If you need me to leave too I can go meet James..."

"No," said Kara quickly, then glanced at Alex. "Um, you don't have to."

"I'm just waiting for Astra," said Alex. "Don't let me keep you from... whatever it is that you're planning."

Kara flushed at that, confirming Alex's hypothesis. "I'm just... going to take a shower. Yeah. Shower."

Alex snorted at her retreating back, then collapsed onto the couch opposite Lucy. With her wound treated, she'd changed into a standard DEO polo shirt, but she'd need to bathe too. _Maybe in the morning? God I'm tired._

"Long day?"

"You could say that. I had breakfast with aliens, flew across the state, talked with my mother, fought my mind-controlled colleagues, got shot, got arrested and pardoned all in one day." She sat up. "Whoops, maybe I shouldn't have told you some of that. Civilian and all. But if you ever get sick of CatCo I'm sure the DEO would love to have you."

Lucy snorted. "Sounds like a great way to piss off my dad."

"Did he call you? He was in the area, for an hour or two."

"Let me guess. To arrest you?"

"Something like that."

"No, he didn't. Call me, that is."

"His loss," said Alex. "Being with Kara is also a pretty good way to piss him off, I imagine."

"Being with Kara and James at the same time, even more so. But he doesn't know."

"Well, I won't tell him... ah." Alex turned, hearing wind.

Astra floated in front of the window for a moment before opening it. Then she stepped inside, throwing off her hood and mask, and Alex thought she'd never seen such a welcome sight.

"They let you go?" said Astra.

"Yes. With full pardons for you, me, and J'onn."

"But not for my allies?"

"No. They probably deserve it, but would they even want to be pardoned?"

Astra laughed and joined Alex on the couch. "No. They have no desire to live among humans."

"Unlike you."

"Well..." said Astra, cupping Alex's face, "I am quite fond of one human in particular."

"Yeah?" asked Alex.

"Yes." And Astra kissed her, long and sweet and slow, and it would have been perfect, except that someone let out a disgusted noise.

When Alex looked, Kara was standing at the bathroom door in her pajamas, hair wrapped in a towel and face contorted in a grossed-out expression.

"Fine, I get it," said Alex. "You want us to go. Have fun, you two."

Astra pulled her mask back on. Before they could leave, though, there was a knock at the door, and Kara rushed to open it, letting James inside.

"Correction: have fun, you three." Alex winked at Kara, then wrapped her arms around Astra and they took to the skies, floating slowly above Kara's apartment building, then turning towards Alex's place.

"Hold on," said Astra, slowing down. "Something is happening at Kara's apartment."

"Wait, you don't want to—"

Astra's eyes widened. "You are right," she said, and sped up, going almost too fast for Alex's taste. Soon they landed on the fire escape and stole back into the apartment.

"So... what did you hear?" asked Alex, grinning.

"Things I never wanted to hear from my niece," said Astra with a grimace.

"I warned you," said Alex.

She was a little surprised, to be honest. Even with her nudging, she'd never really expected Kara to go right from her usual lackluster love life to a threesome with such a hot couple. _Or maybe they're a triad now? That would be more like Kara. Still, she moves fast, apparently. Unless it's been going on for longer than I think._

"Your injury, does it hurt you?" asked Astra.

"Of course it does." She'd wanted to use the fast-healing tech again, but apparently it was too soon after her last injury. She suspected they were being overly cautious, but then, the risks weren't really known yet.

Astra gathered Alex into her arms, gentle, almost gingerly in her touch. "I thought I might lose you," she said.

"Me too," said Alex.

* * *

 

They didn't have sex that night—Alex was in too much pain and Astra too worried about hurting her—but the little strokes and kisses they left on arms and necks were almost as good, a proof of life, of love.

When they had finished, and Astra dozed next to her, Alex lay away for a while, staring at the ceiling. Tomorrow, they'd celebrate with the others—with Kara, Lucy, and James, with Winn, maybe with J'onn, if he had time, and Eliza, if she could make it up from Midvale. Someday soon, she'd have to tell Eliza she was dating Astra. She'd have to start looking for Jeremiah, try to get help from Clark and from Astra's people. Maybe, someday, they'd even find him.

But for tonight, life was good. She had her girlfriend, knew where most of her family was, safe and sound, and their enemies defeated, at least for now.

She turned to look at Astra, barely visible to her all-too-human eyes in this darkness, only the white streak in her hair really standing out. That was a sight—Astra relaxed and safe and _hers_ , no longer that mysterious woman from the bar but a natural part of Alex's life. She snuggled into Astra's side, enjoying her warmth, her solidity, and let herself drift to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Differences from canon: you may recall that Donovan survived Jemm's escape, and though one Myriad device was planted, the DEO stopped the others, thus the smaller area of effect.
> 
> I know why, in an out-of-universe way, they didn't have Superman turn and fight Kara under Myriad, but in-universe it would be quite silly for Non and Indigo not to use him...
> 
> Doctor Hampton shows up on the show quite briefly in World's Finest (1x18) - she's the doctor that examined Siobhan.


End file.
